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bluebellefox · 6 months ago

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Do You Know This (non-canon) Autistic Character?

Disclaimer - People are allowed to like fictional characters but not like the author. This does not mean we/they support JK Rowling.

Propaganda

This post which includes:

He doesn’t participate in any social meetings. He’s quite miserable during the Christmas in Harry’s third year. He patrols the corridors and the grounds instead of attending the Yule Ball. He doesn’t stay for dinner after the Order meetings. He only attends the DE meetings because he has to.

His peers at school think he’s weird. Lily’s friends from Gryffindor don’t understand why she’s friends with him. When Harry asks why the Marauders bullied him, Sirius says he was different, weird, he was an "oddball". Autistic children and teenagers are often bullied because they are perceived as not normal, awkward, weird.

He doesn’t make a normal eye contact, he stares a bit too much. It can be partly explained by Legillimency, but he stared too much even as a teenager.

There’s a difference between how he speaks as a teenager and as an adult. It doesn’t sound entirely natural, he definitely had to put effort into that. It’s partly because he doesn’t want to sound like a poor man with a northern (?) accent, but autistic struggle with fluent communication may also be a reason.

He’s quite rude. He might be just *evil*, but he may just not fully understand how cruel he actually sounds. From his point of view he’s just honest and doesn’t beat around the bush. OK, maybe he’s a little mean, but not cruel… right?

He uses sarcasm (a lot of autistics actually do), but he doesn’t really appreciate Harry’s and other people’s sass, he treats their words too seriously.

He seems a little oblivious to other people’s emotional state and seems to analyse their behavior more intellectually.

He has special interests: Dark Arts / DADA and Potions.

He has his own collection of Potions ingredients, including rare ones, collection of weird jars (I guess they may contain some Potions ingredients, but also he may like them because of visual stimming aspect) and vast collection of books at home.

His Potions ingredients must be very orderly, he knows immediately that something is missing and what it is.

He doesn’t wash his hair as often as he should. It could be partly because of his poor background (he was neglected, he wasn’t taught to take a proper care of his hair, he didn’t even have a real bathroom as a child), partly because he has no one to look nice for, partly because of the Potions fumes. Autism might make him care less about his appearance. (He does care about hygiene though. Apparently he shaves regularly and Harry would certainly notice if Snape was dirty or smelly. His sallow skin and teeth have nothing to do with hygiene, it’s a result of his poverty and malnutrition.)

He has some sensory issues. He wears the same, a little baggy robes (they flutter as he walks). He’s sensitive to light: his Potions classroom is dim (it’s in the dungeons, but he could brighten it up with magic); he makes his DADA classroom dim, even though it’s no longer in the dungeons; when Harry comes to his first Occlumency lesson, Snape waits for him in a dark room. (You know, people don’t do things like that because they’re evil, it doesn’t make sense).

#VINDICATION #IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS #sev

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bluebellefox · 9 months ago

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Ten Questions to Know the Ballet!AU Étoiles Better :)

@sneverussape asked for responses to the character questions from here for the ballet!au. :))) Can I just say first of all: thank you for remembering the au exists!! I love thinking about it and am still working on it/playing with it, and want to get back into posting about it more soon. Knowing that there are friends out there who would still read it makes me more motivated to add to this universe. Answering these reinvigorated me. :) <3

I’m gonna do Lily and Severus only. So without further ado:

What is the character’s go-to drink order? (this one gets into how do they like to be publicly perceived, because there is always some level of theatricality to ordering drinks at a bar/resturant)

I absolutely thought of coffee orders first lol so that’s what I’m going to do. Having encountered some professional ballet dancers this summer, I can say that there is NO ONE else in the world more willing to show up to a grueling class/rehearsal/gym session with nothing to drink but an iced coffee.

To that end—

Lily: I think she’s a hot coffee person actually. Primarily lattes. I don’t think she regularly goes super sweet, but she definitely considers caramel syrup to be a special treat. Definitely fond of the PSL industry of products. If given black drip coffee, she takes cream and sometimes one sugar. Because calories. Once she no longer has that particular harmful preoccupation, three sugars. :)

Severus: Iced black americano or iced cold brew. It’s just a vehicle for caffeine; he doesn’t focus on the taste much. Maybe a small splash of cream, but when asked if he wants room left in the cup for cream, he’ll say no. He’s not paying for air, and they leave as much as an inch sometimes.

[Interestingly, my very first “vision” of this AU, some 4 years ago now (!), was of Severus berating Lucius for messing up his (very complicated) coffee order. In that version of things, Severus was very classically flamboyant/unequivocally gay, and I was SO curious about who this person was. I really wanted to figure him out, because he was so different from my “normal” Severus. I wanted to know what he did and where he was in the world that allowed him to exist that way so comfortably. It was a Dunks order, so they were probably in a big city on the east coast of the US (or else in London), and I thought—maybe he’s a ballet dancer. He and Lucius were about to get in the car with their coffees and drive somewhere rather far. I wondered what they were up to, and it quickly became clear that they were going to pick up Lily—she and Severus had recently reconnected. And lo, the (neonatal) AU began. The person Severus became during the AU’s development was VERY different (and much more canon-typical) than in that initial vision, but a lot of the plot/setting bones remained. So I have a lot to thank that now-defunct coffee order for!]

What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private)

Lily: hm. :) I wish I understood more about makeup and skincare routines. :) I really have no idea! But I’m sure that Lily has a complex routine for both. Not to a ridiculous/severely consumerist degree, but enough that it’s her primary self-care routine. It’s a little island of peace at each end of her day.

Severus: ahahahaha hah. Well. He showers a lot, because dancers sweat like CRAZY when at work. I doubt there’s much else going on there. One thing—if he’s going somewhere or seeing anyone (even just his reflection lol) in the evening, he’ll shave again. Dark hair and a pale skin tone is a brutal combination if you don’t like the look of a five o’clock shadow (and this Severus hates it). (Hates it; hates it. Wishes-his-reflection-could-shatter-glass-level hates it.)

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? (Gets you thinking about socio-economic class, values, and how they spend their leisure time)

Lily: the vast majority of her income goes to a studio apartment in the heart of NYC. She likes being within easy walking distance from ABT, and most of all, she NEEDS a proper, luxurious bathtub. The apartment is expensive and tiny, but the bathroom is large and the claw-foot tub is ginormous.

Severus: hmmmm. I think he sits on his money from a general lack of interest in using it. Like any teacher, some of Castles’ repairs and student materials come out of his own pocket. He goes to see ballets in NYC and environs sometimes, but he doesn’t do galas or fundraisers like Lucius does. His life is small and he doesn’t care to spend much on anything. Just métro, boulot, dodo. Only his commute is just down the stairs, so it’s mostly just boulot and dodo lol.

If only SOMEONE would come jostle him out of his boring life!! *gives the other characters a Significant Look.*

He did have one very significant purchase when he could least afford it in his twenties, which was to replace some very very expensive gym mats housed at Castles that were ruined under his purview (or at least Severus thought they were sufficiently ruined to drag them to the dumpster without telling anyone else). But that story is… complicated.

Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory)

Lily: has scars on her back from a surgery on her spine after her drastic injury as a teen. Later on in the AU she gets three different foot surgeries that she had been putting off for years, but those surgeries are likely laparoscopic and thus the scars are fairly minor. No tattoos! She’d have to cover them up every night she was performing!

Severus: he DOES get some tattoos after his professional career is over, as a sort of ‘fuck you’ to the industry. Ironically, some of his tattoos are ballet themed, and all are music related. He’s got a bolt right over his wrist bone, as for The Bolt (1931), the lost Shostakovich ballet. He has a smallish “Жар-птица” on one forearm for The Firebird (1910), of course, but specifically the situation with Diaghilev and Nijinsky, the latter of whom fought hard but unsuccessfully to make the firebird a gender-neutral role.

There are others that I am debating giving him: On one shoulder, an electrical diagram for “Juno,” the Bleachers’ Juno-6 low B flat drone (their famous held synth note). Something Green Day related (maybe the classic heart-shaped grenade, but I reckon that’s too obvious). I want to give him some roses somewhere (as in, “bread and”), but he’s resisting me on it. He might find that to be a little too Dropkick Murphys for his tastes. He likes ‘em esoteric.

As for scars, he’s had a few ACL surgeries: an initial reconstruction, another to remove excess scar tissue, and then another reconstruction/replacement. Knee is a fuck.

What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? (Good way to get some *emotional* backstory in.)

HMMMMM :) okay this is for the beginning of the AU story.

Lily: has actually been crying a lot lately. Her career is nearly over and has brought lots of big feelings along with it. She’s cried with mingled gratitude and grief after (and possibly during) some of her last performances, as well as at home, just trying to take it in. I imagine she also feels a bit numb other times—like she can’t quite wrap her head around the massive life change that’s about to hit her. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the tears to come soon are of (sort of existential) fear, too.

Severus: he’s not really a crier (….yet). I think the last time he cried emotionally—as opposed to physiologically from throwing up, bottoming in sex, onions (lol), etc.—was in that scene in Minerva’s office when he’s told his career is beyond salvaging. That was a good decade ago, so I think he leans heavily on physiological tears in the absence of emotional ones. Real crying just isn’t within his capacity at the moment.

Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? (This one might be a me thing, because I LOVE writing/reading about family dynamics, but knowing what kinds of things were ‘normal’ for them growing up is important.)

This is just canon-typical, I’m afraid! Lily is the youngest, with older sister Petunia. Petunia stays behind at boarding school/her Aunt’s when the Evanses move to the US when Lily was 13, of her own choice, as she was already 16 at the time and had strong friendships/a relationship in the UK that she didn’t want to leave. All the Evanses except Lily were back and forth across the Atlantic quite a bit during those early years.

Severus is an only child with a heavy asterisk. In this world, as in all others, I headcanon that Eileen had several miscarriages, before Severus was born and possibly after. Both Eileen and Tobias were pretty wiped out with grief for most of Severus’ early childhood.

Describe the shoes they’re wearing. (This is a big catch all, gets into money, taste, practicality, level of wear, level of repair, literally what kind of shoes they require to live their life.)

Lily: wears fully bespoke Freeds, without a shadow of a doubt. They are renowned as the most form-fitting, traditional, and easily-customizable pointe shoe in the industry. Lily has a maker who has handmade her shoes to her exact specifications for probably twenty years at least. Freeds, because they are made of all traditional, natural materials, die VERY quickly. Lily goes through a pair or two every week—likely more during her busiest seasons. As a professional, her shoes are paid for by her company. Once she retires, she’s on the hook for all her shoes (likely around $130 a pair), so she doesn’t break them in quite as much as she would like (as that makes them die faster), and uses them longer than she would like. But she’s not willing to give up what works for her. I imagine she has great affection—if abstract—for her maker. If we’re using real-world makers, probably Star or Butterfly maker. Otherwise, I’d make one up. :)

Severus: is likely wearing shoes that don’t actually fit lol. He’s too embarrassed/prideful to get professionally fitted, so he likely buys shoes online and hopes they work. He likely ends up blistered and missing toenails from making poorly-fitting shoes work. He needs a very strong shank (because more body weight = quicker death for the shoes). And, of course, stock sizes only go up so high in both length and width, because pointe shoes are only sold in women’s sizes. He probably bought one pair of Siberian Swans but feels unaccountably gross about them. I think once he gets over is fear and actually gets professionally fitted, he’ll end up in the very largest stock size Bloch Serenade (Strong).

If we’re talking civilian shoes… anything with “cloud comfort” or “super cushioned” in the name lol. Celine Dion may say that “when a girl loves her shoes, she always makes them fit,” but after going through the wars, Lily is not about that. Hokas 4 lyfe. Orthotic insoles. She has a few strappy heels for going to galas and such, but she badly needs foot surgery, so heels are increasingly her sworn enemies. She spends far more time than she would like wearing the dreaded Boot™ (see: foot surgeries).

Severus wears split-soled dance sneakers to teach. I don’t think he cares—or even necessarily notices—what kind of shoes he wears outside the studio. Cheap trainers or ancient dress shoes as needed.

Describe the place where they sleep. (ie what does their safe space look like. How much (or how little) care / decoration / personal touch goes into it.)

Lily: her tiny studio apartment was rented on the merits of its location and massive bathtub, so her sleeping space is somewhat a secondary concern. Nevertheless, I think she has a nice king-sized bed that’s away from the wall on both sides, taking up much of the room of her sleeping space. She doesn’t spend much time in her apartment except to sleep and recover from work/performances, so she keeps it fairly simple and neutral-toned. Because it’s a studio, her sleeping space is not particularly private—she needs to be able to make it up for company very quickly. Lily’s apartment has floor-to-ceiling windows along one whole side, and it keeps the space from feeling claustrophobic. She loves to sit on the floor or bed near the window and look out, and seeing the city in miniature helps her calm her mind and feel at peace.

Severus: his attic space is actually bigger than Lily’s studio, but it’s rougher around the edges for sure. When he first moved in, it was a disaster straight out of r/malelivingspaces. It’s better now. He’s limited by the low, slanted ceilings in terms of bedroom design, and his full/double bed is only about a palet-height above the ground. The center area of the room is the only place in which you can stand straight up, so the floor needs to remain clear. There are a few small windows, but at night the lighting comes from small lamps on the floor near the ceiling/floor intersections.

While Lily likes a taller bed frame and lofty open space around the bed, Severus is the opposite. He turns his sleeping area into a ground nest, and finds the low ceilings and tucked-into-a-nook atmosphere extremely comforting. He’s never allowed another person up there; it’s a fully private space. That being said, he’s getting a bit too old for a bed on the floor, and he knows it.

What is their favorite holiday? (How do they relate to their culture/outside world. Also fun is least favorite holiday.)

Lily: Christmas. :) She loves December in NYC before the snow gets dirty and when everything is lit with fairy lights. The Christmas markets and fully decorated storefronts are a delight to her, and she always goes to the Rockefeller a Christmas tree lighting. She loves how many kids she gets to meet and work with during Nutcracker season—it always renews her sense of magic within the dance world for her. And, of course, she loves seeing family and the joyful challenge of finding presents for people she loves (she can get rather stressed and competitive about this, however).

As for least favorite… maybe Fourth of July. She’s a Brit and not terribly enamored with US patriotism, so she finds it awkward and a little disturbing.

Severus: Hmmmm… He strikes me as someone who finds the Lent-into-Easter season particularly significant. Subconsciously, he’s satisfied by the idea that a period of suffering and privation is guaranteed to resolve in joyfulness and transformation. It’s not a promise he gets to have in real life, but he can get a taste of it within the predictable cycle of the church calendar. Also (and also fairly subconsciously), I think he enjoys the first signs of spring—early bulbs through snow, which hazel blossoms, the very first leaves emerging, and so on. It wakes him up from a stupor he doesn’t realize he was in, every year. Early spring is also a great time within the ballet world; in March, you can attend a performance by one company or another just about every day, if you like. And none of it is…

His least favorite holiday: Christmas/Nutcracker season. He finds the whole money-grabbing charade of the Nutcracker soul-sucking, and deeeeeeply resents that he has to put it on every year for Castle’s kids to perform in. It takes up his every spare moment from September 1 to January 1, and he hates hates hates it all. As you can imagine, this makes him a great teacher and rehearsal director during those months. <-sarcasm

What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.)

Lily and Severus are remarkably alike in this. They both come equipped with phone, headphones/earbuds, coffee, and dance bag on a daily basis. Lily has all her pointe shoe equipment (sewing kit, lighter, toe pads, toe tape, toe spacers, band-aids, elastics, ribbon, etc.), spare dance clothes, a few pairs of pointe shoes she’s rotating, flat ballet slippers, a foam roller and a few hard rubber balls for rolling out feet/other pressure points, therabands, leg warmers, trash bag pants, and various warm-ups (sweaters and vests, booties, etc.), a towel for sweat, and finally: deodorant and maybe a mildly scented body spray. Dancers sweat a LOT in close quarters, so avoiding being smelly is priority no. 1.

Severus has all the same gear minus the pointe shoe stuff—he keeps his hidden away so that no one sees he has it lol.

——

That’s it!! This got so long but I hope it was interesting ahaha. It is certainly very fun to think about… I really love this au. :) <3

#sev n lily #river i love this!!! i need to work through all the ballet au meta ive missed #i love it when people’s passion for their hobbies shows so clearly in their fic #and how thought out your characterizations of them are they seem so fleshed out and real #thank you for sharing !

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