blueberryproton - Tumblr blog

[blueberryproton]

I was going to write something sappy about being happy and knowing that this is just a state and states change because nothing is permanent…but I’ll just shut up.

Pictures taken when I went on a rainy book buying trip to chinatown/little Italy!

[blueberryproton]

Before- the mind raced, but the heart was calm 🚥🍀

[blueberryproton]

When it rains, it pours ❤️‍🩹💔

[blueberryproton]

I have been trying to live without biases of many kinds. I realized I did not show, but in my head I was living with too many! Next year, wherever a bias comes up, I will stop and tell myself ‘ the world is an illusion and my life and everything around me is a part of that illusion. Choice is an illusion. Free will is an illusion”

[blueberryproton]

🍵😶‍🌫️🌫️🍀

Time for some deep reflection and calm walks.

“on Beauty(They say) Art no longer produces Beauty.She produces meaning but (I say) One cannot paint a picture or make an image of a woman and not deal with the concept of beauty.

- Marlene Dumas, 1995

[blueberryproton]

Sometimes writing to-dos to do makes me feel accomplished. I went on the quickest stroll and ate ice-cream that has bourbon and marshmallows and cereal✨

[blueberryproton]

When people ask me what I do with my adult money 💸🍀🤞✨

[blueberryproton]

I thought (have been thinking for a few days) about my general aimlessness and me flowing too much with time. Someone told me, oh you don’t look your age, and I thought ~maybe because I am not chasing anything I feel like I haven’t aged? ~

Flowing with time should feel easy and comfortable, but right now, it feels uncomfortable and squirmy 😶‍🌫️

I wrote to myself today that I want to be someone who knows what she is doing in life and as a blessing it also rained today. I take it as a positive sign that my flowing is leading me to my bank ( if that’s what I want) very soon!

[blueberryproton]

🐉🪸🐚

A nice manhwa I did not buy.

A chai and the various containers.

A pleasant thought of finally reaching home when we reach the tunnel.

[blueberryproton]

I bought some cards for a person leaving our team. They were interning and their internship ended. I often sit in sessions where there is feedback given to an interns work. They are neither kind nor helpful. As I helplessly sit through these, I often wonder if I could avoid/remove the overall criticism? If I could, make this more constructive. Well, perhaps not. So I walked around the shops and found cards for the person leaving the team. I will wish them luck and also put a spell on the card so that they never meet people who give them baseless criticism 🍀✨

[blueberryproton]

Humans and our need to make the mundane magical✨🤞

[blueberryproton]

🎄😶‍🌫️🐉 Walked.Talked to self. Looked at many beanies on people. Listen to one song on repeat.

[blueberryproton]

Sometimes people inside squares and revolving videos on the internet seem more accomplished. I scolded myself because I did something very stupid, I called myself stupid many times. The 25 year old with a tattoo and a functioning hobby, was so articulate when she was 22, she still collects inspiration by only living her life. Even if comparison isn’t natural , comparison is normal, judgement is normal.

[blueberryproton]

Please let me know if you know the artist !

[blueberryproton]

I am trying to incorporate these questions secretly within my work sphere too. I try to do this with people I want to get to know better because they did something small, which I thought was remarkable 🦋🧁⭐️

[blueberryproton]

I make art ‘around’ my day job. I learn art every waking moment of my life.

[blueberryproton]

Every time now a days, I open my mouth to talk about an art piece that moved me or an art I made that made me feel like everything and nothing at the same time,to someone who slightly was interested in art, I remember Matisse saying

~ ‘Verbalization about painting was at best futile, at worst harmful’

In my mind I say ‘ shut up right now proton’.