bluebunnyears-08 - Tumblr blog

[bluebunnyears-08]

Keep Your Head Up!

Sonic reminiscences about his friends.

(

I decided to do one based on Sonic.

Sonic suffering, of course.

That's it ^v^

)

=============================================

They looked like them.

They sounded like them.

Most of them even had the same mannerisms as them.

But they weren't them.

They didn't act like them.

They didn't talk like them.

They didn't feel like them.

Amy Rose, once the sweetest and cutest friend to have now was either cold, and lacked compassion. Her once warm and cheery green eyes now blank and empty or filled with suspicion and feral anger.

No more adorable strength, no more cheerfulness, nothing but brute force and stoic brutality.

Rouge, once the alluring jewel thief. He didn't spend much time around her, the bat preferred to keep to herself. But he noticed how she now lead resistance's or groups, nothing like the lone bat thief she once was.

And while he wasn't as bothered with that, he still found it hard to accept and get used to.

Knuckles, once a powerful fighter and dependent friend, was now either crazy or selfishly greedy. His steady blue eyes gleamed with unstable intent.

He even missed him at this point.

Shadow wasn't doing so well either. While he stayed his stoic self, the hero saw some cracks slip through, ones that Shadow obviously hoped nobody would notice, how his eyes held so much pain and sadness, how he was more aggressive than usual, how his voice would barely shake when talking about home.

But the blue urchin didn't say anything, never commented on it. He didn't think Shadow would accept it anyway with how mad he is at him.

Then there was...him. The fox who always stuck by his side, who was once just a little kid who followed him around, who was always tinkering away on inventions a happy smile on his face, who was the greatest friend, greatest brother, anyone could ask for.

Most of his variants were the same, but not exactly. Mangey was nothing but a feral animal, unable to even speak, only talking with grunts and growls and Sails, while being the closest to resemble him, didn't have...it just wasn't the same.

But then there was Nine, the most different from him. The metal tailed fox was blunt and cold, barely smiled, worked alone, was always alone. Once bright and curious baby blues were now cold and pained icy blue (please dont look at me like that). Once fluffy and bright fur was now limp and pale. His ears were longer than his too, ending with darkened tips at the end.

He noticed how Nine's metal tails wrapped around his organic ones, making an illusion of one tail. He felt his ears droop at the sight.

The most painful thing was how...isolated and...and scared this kid was. When he first met them, they attacked him because he called them his name he broke into their lab. 

And he felt a harsh pang in his chest at how much they hated his name at how lonely this kit is.

He couldn't bear the sight of it.

So he tried to make sure he was there for Nine. Giving him compliments and encouragement, cheering him on, letting the fox lean on him for support, everything he used to do for him.

But it still hurt so so much...sucked.

All of this still sucked so much.

He sometimes wished he would wake up and all of this would be over. Just a nightmare.

But that never happened, he was still here, still in the now broken world he once lived in and protected.

Sometimes he felt a wetness in his eyes a little down, but he held his head high.

All of this will work out in the end, he just has to keep going, just has to keep staying positive. 

Just keep going.

Just.

Stay.

Positive.

[bluebunnyears-08]

I saw this a while ago in an Ask and an AU where where Sonic was basically in his early 30’s with Amy and both were married with Tails as their son (Ya know Adoption and the like) like Dad Sonic AU I think it was called.

It got me thinking of a prompt with the same scenario as Prime, but now Sonic has lost far more then he thought. Imagine now he’s in new yolk to see his son become a loner traumatised and hostile with not so great health and then his wife is a cold, compassionless metal machine?

This brings me to the Prompt of DadSonic first meeting Nine, telling him of their time together and what they all did as a family.

1. Nine having such care and being really immersed in how basically his Dad is telling him they both whooped Eggmans butt as father and son.

2. Nine during the sonic capture scene, seeing what is supposed to be his mother controlled like a puppet and his supposed dad being killed.

3. Nine being WAAAY more hostile towards the chaos council because of this.

Basically I just want to know how you think Nine and Sonic in this context would be like?

I've seen that AU, and it. is. ADORABLE!

And I can see these happening! Nine would originally be hostile and confused, thinking this guy is insane, until the hedgehog mentions personal things no stranger should ever know. Nine would be cautious, thinking this guy's a stalker, but ultimately bonding with Sonic like in the show, once again drawn in by the sincere kindness and gentle concern.

Nine would want to hear more stories, fully immersed in Sonic's passionate story of what they did together.

Nine would be horrified and much less compliant with the council, seeing the woman who could've been his mother, seeing the guy who could've been his father, both in horrible circumstances.

Nine would be nearly feral towards the bastards.

I think this idea is sweet, and also sad because of the whole erase them to restore the world thing, but I am trying NOT to think of that rn! Thank you for this nice ask ^v^

[bluebunnyears-08]

THIS IS SO OUT OF TOPIC BUT EVERY TIME I SEE UR PFP I ALWAYS CONFUSE IT WITH THIS

It's so dumb cuz the colors don't even match or basically nothing matches??, but it happens EVERY TIME i see your account it's driving me insane

I don't know if it's because the game where this art comes from is controlling my life or it's because im always sleepy when i open tumblr but pls help

XD

Yeah, but I can see why you get them mixed up! These aren't going to be my permanent profile pics though, just placeholder until I draw some myself ^v^

[bluebunnyears-08]

When it comes to the Tails Squad how do you feel they'd be like in the death of sonic the hedgehog game?

Make way everyone!

The investigator squad is here! Some are interrogating those who look suspicious, some are scrounging the place for clues, others are paying close attention to everyone, and some (or rather Mangey...) are sniffing around for any scents on the crime scene other than Sonic's.

They won't stop until they find the killer!

[bluebunnyears-08]

How Prime Has The Potential To Be A Great Psychological/Lovecraft Horror

I know, I know, all of you are probably looking at this thinking I lost my mind.

But let me explain and show you how it could be a horrifying experience.

First, all of you are probably commenting on how Sonic is a family friendly franchise, but that doesn't necessarily mean EVERY media of Sonic SHOULD be this way. There are some family friendly franchises with mature and more serious spin-offs or adaptations.

So Prime can be a good start to deviating from it's other media's. But I'll get to that later, I should probably explain how it can be, and in a way is, a psychological and Lovecraft horror, more than just another cartoon. At least to me.

1. (Psychological) Exploring The Character's Emotional Trauma and Internal Conflicts Is a Different Approach to Most Sonic Medias

While most Sonic media's focus on action and saving the day, Prime takes a different approach. Instead of just being action and "Sonic saving the day", Sonic completely breaks his home, unintentionally shattering everything, including his friends. Shadow is also inadvertently dragged along, using a Chaos Emerald to save himself from the blast, but ending up trapped in the void.

If the variants being shards of the main characters is true, then Prime is working to deconstruct the characters, but some variants caught my eyes. There's Rusty, a robotized Amy, which sure, that's cool, but remember Amy's first known introduction in the Sonic CD? I only remember some parts, but wasn't Amy kidnapped by metal Sonic to be robotized or something? Another obvious variant is Nine, who was basically abused for being different, only this time Sonic wasn't there to help him? And Dread, a greedy Knuckles, kinda reminding me of how Knuckles was tricked by Eggman so the Doc could steal the master emerald?

Something just seems a bit more about these variants.

1. (Lovecraft) The Variants Situation if The Shard Theory Is True

If the Shard theory is true, then the variants existence is a nightmare.

Imagine having flesh and bone, imagine having thoughts of your own, imagine having a backstory of your own; only for it to be revealed that everything, your body, your thoughts, your experiences; your existence, to be a mistake. You weren't supposed to exist, and if the putting it back together = Shattered Space disappears is true, then you're doomed to die.

Doomed be mashed together with other shards, to be pieced together into someone you don't know, and will never meet. Your very existence is a lie, something that needs to be fixed with your death.

Yeah...not a pretty picture, is it?

2. (Psychological) Sonic's Emotional Turmoil

Sonic suffers a lot in this show. No, I don't mean the physical pain, that's a gag, I'm referring to the emotional suffering, which is very much there.

Sonic is horrified by these events; breaking his home, shattering everyone he loved and cared for, having to experience hatred, scorn, and hostility from those who look so much like his friends; from people who don't recognize him, and having to witness or hear about his friends suffering, being unable to really do anything about it without being met with apprehension.

He's clearly not enjoying any of this, or having any fun, at all.

2. (Lovecraft) The Paradox Prism Is Unsettling Itself

What is the Prism?

We know it's powerful as hell, being able to rip apart reality, and possibly time, and is capable of creating new spaces. But what else is it capable of? Where did it come from? Why is it here beneath the Green Hills Bedrock?

Whatever it is, it's the one in control after Sonic breaks it, ripping apart the world, throwing Sonic through dimensions, trapping Shadow in the void, and even responding to certain contacts.

It's glow almost seems like it calling, beckoning for someone to find it, to use it, to break it.

3. (Psychological) Shadow In The Void

How is Shadow doing in this void?

All memes aside, it's clear he isn't taking everything so well. As when he first makes contact with Sonic, he sounds despondent and absolutely devastated, stating: "It's broken! It's all broken!". His voice is slightly shaky when he does so too. But in his final contact with Sonic, is him furious and violent.

From his first contact to his last furious one, Shadow's mental state isn't exactly stable. Being stuck in the void doesn't help anything either. Some development happened to Shadow off screen, one I really hope we'll see.

Yeah, Shadow is not having a great time either. But development can never be fast, it takes time, which brings my next theory in mind below.

3. (Lovecraft) The Void

Ending up in the void is something I'd choose death over. Mainly because, when thinking about it, it's something nobody would wish on their worst enemy. Which makes Shadow being there so much harsher.

The void is an empty space, nothing but shards surrounding you, you're alone, with nobody to talk to. You're alone with your thoughts. But the scariest thing would be how long it must seem.

From what we've seen so far, time runs differently in the Shattered Space, the void can't be any different. It could've been years to Shadow, but time doesn't seem to run in the void, only in the Shattered Spaces. If anything time seems to pause, or just stop working in the void. It doesn't exist there.

Shadow definitely isn't having fun, especially when you consider his alliance with Rouge and Omega, and even worse, his promise to Maria to keep the world safe.

4. (Psychological) Nine Being A Part Of Tails Says Something About All Of Us

One of the things talked about a lot is how Nine, if the shard theory is true, was a part of Tails to begin with. This bitter, jaded, violent, desperate, traumatized, in pain child was a part of the happy, jolly fox we all know and love.

But, if the theory is true, Nine having been a part of Tails all along speaks about how there's a hidden side in all of us. All of that bitterness, cruelty, selfishness, trauma, denial, desperateness, and love/touch starved hope is in all of us. But we try to deny, to hide, to avoid acknowledging it, which only makes it never go away, or makes it worse.

It isn't just Tails that denies it though, which is a whole other thing of itself...

4. (Lovecraft) They Can't Be By Each Other's Side, Both Are Doomed To Be Alone In Some Way

One of the saddest truths about Prime is that Nine and Sonic can't be by each other's side, they can't be there for each other: no matter how much they don't want to be, they have to be alone. Sonic is from a universe that's now destroyed, thrust into the remains of his actions face-first, he can't connect with these variants of his friends, and is emotionally alone.

Nine is just a part of the universe Sonic can't stay in, so there's no chance of them ever staying by each other's side, he's alone in both ways.

The universe, the shards won't allow it, thrusting Sonic from Nine via shard or by Sonic himself. Not to mention the inevitable fate that Nine has to face along with his fellow variants.

Their entire relationship is a world of inevitable pain.

5. (Psychological) The Dark Matter, Symbolism, And Complex Themes Of Prime

There's no denying it, at its core, with the sprinkled moments of unease and signs of deeper depths in the first batch, so far Prime's setting up a dark story, one filled with harsh tragedy. Pretty much every character suffers and is going to suffer even more in the second batch, the aspects of Sonic that save the day, Friendship and Hope is actually deconstructed in this show, showing how friendship can become a means of escapism and can't really save the day, and how hope can instead damage someone to denial.

Sonic is without his friends here and the friends he made out of the variants is going to be shattered once they find out the truth, so friendship can't be used, and his hopes to fix the world are...almost desperate, like he doesn't want to acknowledge that maybe it can't be fixed.

Another thing is that Prime actually has a lot of symbolism hidden in it. The Grim being a literal landscape of escapism, Nine's nine tails, the variants themselves being representations of different traits, the palm tree being a symbol of desperate hope, and more.

The final thing is the early complex themes in the show.

The inevitable fact that the variants has to die to restore the world is a very grim one, but it shows how painfully insignificant and meaningless they are in the grand scheme of things. They’re just shards that need to come together. That’s the universe for ya.

The use of "Man vs. Self" in this show instead of having Sonic just save the day and defeat bad guys

The exploration that there's a dark, sad, traumatized part in all of us

The need for balance in everything

The exploration of desire vs need, and most importantly:

Selfishness vs selflessness.

5. (Lovecraft) The Grim Is A Lovecraftian Horror Of Itself

The Grim is hauntingly beautiful. The sky is every color of blue, filled with stars, the ground is orange and endless, and silver crystals jut out of it, some partly buried.

Look at how small and insignificant Nine and Sonic looks here, how vast the Grim is that you can't see where it ends. It's truly an unsettling wonder. It looks unsettling and it is unsettling, not at all an ideal place to live in.

There are no trees, no water, no signs of any life. Nothing. You're alone, surrounded by absolutely nothing. The only thing there is you and your imagination.

Why isn't there any variants here? Why is it so empty? Why doesn't it end?

There's no answer except your own thoughts, speaking much louder now that there's nothing to distract you from them. You're alone, an insignificant speck in a vast world of beauty and isolation.

Paranoia would kick in, you'd think you heard something, but there's nothing there.

That's what the Grim is, it's nothing but you, there's nobody here, there's nothing here, this place never ends, it's the physical representation of isolation, of perfect escapism.

And that couldn’t be more terrifying…

[bluebunnyears-08]

Reblog if you're grateful for your internet friends

[bluebunnyears-08]

Some Nine sketches :D

[bluebunnyears-08]

@casketfactory you’re giving me ideas…

This scene genuinely made me feel so sad. Nine was so hopeful. He wanted to start something new with the person he truly thought was gonna be on his side. He felt so hurt and rejected, but despite his anger and hurt, he didn't want to just leave Sonic there

Someone help this poor kid 😭

[bluebunnyears-08]

Sorry for bothering you about this but I was wondering about if your doing your stories again simply because they are just great reads :)

I have a prompt for a story involving Nine and sonic.

1. Sonic trying to help Nine adjust to his new life with his friends because now he is able to exist with his twin and even taking him to the tree.

2. Nine being a little off put by how radically different Amy is here and her trying to comforting and even noticing how frayed and thin his Tails are.

3. Tails trying to adjust to having ‘Twin’ brother and both finding common ground but its still shakey.

4. A flashback of Sonic coming into the room and being like “Hey guys, so remember a few days ago when I shattered the prism” they acknowledge it and he just says TA DA and introduces nine.

5.Nine feeling like a fish out of water but doesn’t want to leave his brother, he thought tooth and nail to get this life and he’s not backing down.

6. Knuckles actually dulling out some sage advice to the young Kit.

Hello! I AM doing requests for stories again! Answering and writing them might take a while because I'm still writing my own things, and currently writing a story for the Nine series me and friend made, not to mention I want to practice my drawing so I can post it one day. And I'm so happy you like the stories I do!

And this is a nice prompt! One story coming up! I decided to try a different thing in this too! ^v^

=============================================

Everything was filled with beautiful color in this world. It was like living in an antique painting, one full of pastel colors and extravagant forms that were foreign to him. He never would have gotten here if it wasn't for the vibrant blue urchin that was his only dear friend.

Sonic is a very determined hedgehog, and Nine couldn't thank him enough for that fact.

That's what Nine learned as Sonic continuously tries to get him comfortable and happy in what the hedgehog stated was home. Not another Shattered Space, but the main universe Sonic originally destroyed. Nine put it all back together, but it would've come at a cost of disappearing forever, going back to being a trait.

Nine was scared, he assured Sonic it would be fine, tried to steel himself for fading into nothingness, but he was terrified. Naturally though, Sonic the "Mr. Freedom is the Most Important Thing" hedgehog, wasn't having ANY of it.

Nine was...caught off guard to say the least when the urchin began to insist on him staying with him in his world, the original world, began to implore if there was another way without the fox disappearing forever. Nine knew he had to refuse, he wasn't tails, not to mention to potential effects it might have, but seeing the genuine concern and care in those emerald eyes, the fear and pain...he knew he couldn't.

He knew Sonic didn't want him to. And he didn't want to either.

So he didn't. He found a less, effective solution in fixing the world, but made it so he could live there as well without any problems. He hoped it would be stable enough to allow such a big change.

But those worries went out the window now that he was here, and after a few days, he forgot he worried about anything at all. This world was wonderful! Green grounds, healthy trees and wonderful lakes, it was paradise! And he was right here, right by Sonic, finally eating Chili dogs with him, and it became a heaven!

The only problem was...Tails. The fluffier, more cheerful, more healthy (both in body and mind) fox Sonic loved as a brother. The reason why Sonic was so caring and sweet to him in the first place.

It wasn't that the fox was mean, at least not intentionally, nor was it that the two tailed vulpine annoyed him. It was just...he was so cheerful and naive. Not to mention seeing how...healthy he was, and those eyes those fucking eyes-

Wide blue eyes always stared at Nine when he was around, watching him, both with fascination and absolute admiration. Nine found the fascination understandable, the feeling was mutual, but the admiration really confused him. It confused him very much.

He couldn't understand at all.

Why would anyone admire him?, that's what he was curious about. When he asked the fox, he found the answer.

"It's just, you're so cool! You have those metal tails and your super strong and formidable in battle! Your just so amazing!", blue eyes sparkled as they answered.

Nine didn't respond. So that was why? Because he had metal tails, was good at fighting, and preferred to work alone? Nine didn't find anything to admire about the latter two. The fox could fight too, Nine saw this, not to mention the preference to work on his own came from being used to being alone.

But he simply nodded and came up with an event so he could leave. He didn't hate the kit, just...wasn't exactly friends with them. As long the fox didn't bother him they could manage.

Nine kept their interactions to a minimum and very short and brief.

Then there was Amy Rose. At first, Nine didn't know what to think. So, this was who Rusty was before the Council...'enhanced'...her body. She was a lot more, well, alive. Her green eyes sparkled with cheeriness and youth, her body lacked any traces of metal, and a flicky surrounded her, chirping happily instead of being trapped inside her chest cavity, chirping with pain and despair.

Nine was taken aback by how...young she truly was. Made him wonder with horror how old Rusty was when she was roboticized.

Rose was...very kind. A far cry from the emotionless callousness of the robot he remembered her as. Then again, that wasn't her, was it?

No, this Rose was friendly, full of expression, and so vibrant with the soft color of pink. Nine liked her. She gave him motherly vibes, even though he knew that thought was humorous, and he felt rather comfortable in her presence.

The only problem was how much she insisted on caring about his well being; making sure he cared for himself, making sure he worked on being healthy again, and trying to get him to 'open up'.

The first two weren't that bad. It was nice being cared for, and besides, Sonic did those too. Although he was a bit more stubborn about it, dragging Nine out of his lab and making sure he slept and ate. Nine acted annoyed and frustrated, but really he felt...warm. Again, it was very nice.

The only problem was the last part. The "opening yourself up" part. He understood that she cared, and didn't mean any harm, but when she offered to listen to his problems - and by extension, his trauma - he gently declined every time.

He didn't want to open up, didn't want to explore his trauma. His trauma could bury itself and die for all he cared. Although, he knew it was bad. He knew that choice would only make it worse. He just...it wasn't...

He just can't. That was all. Sure he didn't want to pour out his chest, didn't want to cry pathetically in front of this girl he had only knew as a robot, didn't want her to rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiippppppp open his chest and pull on his insides pity him even more.

But he knew he wouldn't be able to spill out his trauma like that if he tried.

He kept being polite to her, but like the others, he carefully kept his distance.

Then there was the echidna.

Nine found the echidna, named 'Knuckles', was someone he needed to keep and eye on. The echidna was as bad tempered as all the other counterpart Nine knew, not to mention how the echidna was suspicious of Nine when Sonic introduced the fox.

They weren't on the best terms.

However, Nine soon saw the echidna start to soften up. Knuckles didn't tense or stare at him whenever the fox was within proximity. But Nine still felt tense within the echidna's proximity, knowing the strength behind his namesake's.

So he was surprised when the guardian began to offer him advice. Rather odd advice. Telling him not to do things alone, to enjoy things while he's here, telling him that letting your feelings out doesn't make him weak, that it can help him.

He told him other things, but Nine tuned him out.

Why listen to advice that was utterly worthless? That everyone else has been trying to tell him, that didn't help him at all?

Why do they even care about him? Sonic he had some understanding but why do the others? To Amy, he was just a burden, a helpless person who needed to be cared for, to Knuckles, he was an idiot who needed to be taught, to...Tails, he was just a variant, just a simple reflection with a smear of gray.

Although come to think of it, Sonic probably only stuck with him because he resembled that damn soft fox.

But, even with that, he refused to go back to being a part of the fluffy fox, he refused to give up. He gave up everything to be here, he fought tooth and nail, and he wasn't going to go back because of a little difficulties.

He kept going.

Tails stared at him with those eyes of innocence and naive curiosity. Of admiration.

Keep going.

Don't give up.

Amy stared at him like a pathetic child who can't fend for himself.

You did so much to get here.

Knuckles' gaze softened every time he was within the echidna's sight

Ignore them.

Sonic must've told them.

Keep going.

A hand rests on his shoulder out of concern.

Don't give in.

Keep. Going.

Don't. You. Dare. Fucking. Cave.

Keep everyone out. Never yield.

Sonic is right there. He's in such a wonderful world.

So why wasn't he happy?

[bluebunnyears-08]

Hi :)

So how do you like the thought of Nine becoming a villain ?

Not in a " wanting to take over the World way " but in a " I want Sonic to stay with me and and do everything to keep his friends away from him " way ?

I find it very interesting.

After all, there has NEVER been an instance where Sonic and Tails truly fought or became enemies for a LEGITIMATE reason (never saw why archie!sonic decided to cuck his brother, even if it WAS to protect Tails, not to mention Tails was probably EIGHT so he couldn't get with Fiona anyway; but I found it hilarious instead of serious).

I'm curious on how they develop it. From what I've seen so far it isn't going to be the generic "Sonic abandoned me so I want him dead", looks like Nine WANTED to be captured anyway, and besides Nine IS a logical person so he probably would've figured out that Sonic was pulled out of New Yolk against his will again.

It's also probably not going to be Nine keeping Sonic against his will, he let Sonic go when the hedgehog first refused, not to mention it being WAY out of Nine's character to do so and the yandere vibes.

I'm REALLY curious on how it would go. Regardless on how it goes, three things are going to happen.

Nine is going to betray Sonic in some way.

Nine will be against Sonic if it DOES happen.

It will HURT.

[bluebunnyears-08]

Prime prompt: I could imagine this scenario after they capture Tails.

Eggman: "Take him to the pen!"

A minute later.

Eggman: "Huh, that was surprisingly effective."

Tails Nine: Stuck in a playpen with forcefields surrounding it while stripped of his mechanical tails

Eggman: "And Babbles gets a playmate!"

Nine: Indignant pout

Babbles: Shoves a pacifier in Tails Nine's mouth

Eggman: "Shut it! Naptime is in an hour, if you can even make it that long, you cranky brat!"

No.

Don't ask this again please.

[bluebunnyears-08]

"There is no light without shadow, and there is no happiness without pain" (Final)

This is the final draft of a story I recently did. Found it was a little underdone, and decided to spice it up a bit.

THIS is how I think Nine being in Sonic's universe would REALLY go.

TW: Nine Pain, emotional agony, and implied thoughts of suicide

============================================

This is the fox Sonic knew, a person so happy and cheerful it blinded him of cruel nostalgia, almost mocking him of something he used to have. Something precious, something you can only have once. And Nine never got to savor it, as it was taken by the cruel fists and harsh oppression of life. He turned jaded, covering the last purity he had under a shield of snark and hatred for the world he was forced to grow in.

This fox, who wore his tails proudly, letting them grow, never hiding them in a sleek metal cocoon, smiled a smile Nine longed to have again, their blue eyes shimmering with wonder as they gazed upon him, as if he was worth their curiosity, of such innocent curiosity.

Nine swallowed an odd lump in their throat, feeling that pain in his chest. And he hated it. All of that cheerfulness, that sweetness, that gentle, naive soul the fluffy fox gave the world when Nine never had a chance; he loathed all of it.

But this was the only way to even be in the same world as Sonic, this is the only way he can be with Sonic, the only way he can be alive. So he tolerated the fox. He wasn't buddy-buddy with him, but he tried not to be hostile or rude. Everybody assumed he was just being grumpy old him, so they didn't look too much into it, not even Sonic. Nine soon found that, even when surrounded by the friends Sonic spoke about, even when conversing and going on adventures with them; he was still alone.

It was then, watching the hedgehog's and fox's brotherly bond, watching them happily engage in each other's company, watching them give each other support, playing, adventuring, eating chili dogs, battling with Eggman that he realized, Sonic didn't feel bad for HIM, never saw HIM, gave compliments and affections not to HIM; it...was all for...

all...because he was...

He felt a strong and dreadful feeling. It was a feeling he never truly felt before, one of pain, of grief, of the tiresome torment of depression:

Despair.

Bitter, unmerciful despair. It swallowed him whole, sinking him deeper into its tired, hopeless depths. It mocked him of how hopeful and foolish he was, thinking HE could possibly be happy and loved, thinking HE could be in such a beautiful world, thinking HE would never be alone again.

Nine didn't try to struggle, didn't try to escape it. Not because it was too late, there aren't any other better outcomes for him than this, but because it just wasn't possible for ANY of those to come true.

What was the point of fighting against something that was true, of something that was clear right in front of you?

But...Sonic would worry. He'd ask him what was wrong, would be deeply troubled, would be hurt or sad if Nine ever told him. He would try to cheer Nine up, would be by Nine's side, when just being in this happy world made Nine ironically more miserable than he'd ever been, when all Nine wanted was to be alone.

So, he stayed aloof, despite wanting company so bad, he stayed snarky, no matter how much it made him want to kick himself, he stayed strong and fierce, because he didn't deserve comfort that was meant for someone else.

He stayed broken and in secret sorrow, because it's the only way to feel that he's his own person; because he's just the broken, suffering shadow of someone who's fixed and happy.

Nine found he hated this world. Hated the cheerful chirping of flickies, hated the spicy chili hitting his tongue, hated the idle and natural chatter around him, hated the doctors worthless cries of disbelief when they would take apart his pathetic excuse for robots (just shut up), hated the company of those who saw him as another Tails (justleavemealone), hated looking at the fox he was once a part of, hated walking on the ground, hated breathing the clean air (i don't want to breath now), hated being in this hell place, hated...

...he hated being around Sonic now too...that was the only reason he...wanted all of this...the only reason he was still alive...the only reason he fought with blood and sweat...

and now...

...

(i don't want to wake up anymore)

He never voiced these of course. They might be confused, or angered, and he didn't want to see the stupid pity in their gaze, or they might work on reverting him back since he was so unhappy.

Even if they felt sympathy for him, they wouldn't be able to truly understand this awful feeling, they would think he was worrying over nothing, and more importantly:

They wouldn't be able to help him.

So he swallowed down that feeling, ignored the frequent headaches, ignored the stinging in his eyes as he watched them bond with love, love that was never meant for HIM. (who could love a freak like me)

He walked on the colorful, welcoming knives with a perfect smile of false joy, ignoring the pain.

This was paradise after all...

And he was so happy...

so

so

happy

happy

happy

happy

happy

he

couldn't

ask

for

anything

else

[bluebunnyears-08]

Life Form With PTSD Meets Broken Eight Year Old (lol)

When that thing the kid and Shadow first interacted, Shadow had found him in what looked to be Eggman's base, only it seemed to be falling apart, debris and burning parts of the structure crashing and falling to the ground below in a city the doctor must've managed to take over. The civilians of the city surrounded the suddenly burning headquarters, curious on what happened. Just seeing the city brought shame and slight sadness to him. However, upon hearing about prisoners and people still being in there, Shadow went inside to try and help them to safety. The ruined and bleak state of the world he was supposed to protect, to keep safe, a godawful hellscape, with a giant building falling apart in the middle, revealing the insides like a blooming flower from hell.  He had a slightly morbid curiosity on who would do something like this and then sudden and unrelated rage that this to be because of Sonic shattering the world. If that blue idiot had just listened to him!-

He was interrupted from his raging thoughts when his ears perked up to metal clinking around on the ground of the long halls. He originally tensed thinking it was a robot, however, he quickly noted that the metallic foot falls were far too light and too fast for a tin robot. Not a second after that note, the shadow appeared in front of him at the end of the burning hall.

When he first saw the kid in the long hallway, he was originally unable to see them due to the fire behind it casting the thing in shadow. But when a part of the burning ceiling collapsed in front of them - and startling the life form into taking a sudden step back (the kid didn’t even flinch-) -  bringing it to light, he didn't know what to think or say out of shock and slight disgust. The sight of a convoluted, bruised, and starved jack-o-lantern, crawling around like a spider on metal tails, should’ve been the first clue that the fox wasn't stable.

The kit look awful. His fur was matted and tangled, heavy eye bags made dents underneath foggy blue eyes, blue eyes that didn't seem to have any thought behind them, that told a tale of indescribable horror, pain, and sorrow in them. They weren’t even looking at him, only staring ahead at a nothingness only they could see. He had several burn marks all over his body, neck, arms, legs, everywhere Shadow could see; some fur having been fried or shaved off, revealing pink, scorched, scabbed skin. His... clothes (when did Tails wear clothes?) were crumpled and ripped at some places, revealing uneven scars beneath. But the worst part was the overall state of his body. Vibrant golden fur was now pale and dull, chunks of it ripped, burnt, or shaved off, once a naive and childish face looked deeply worn and older, and his body now had barely any muscle or fat, exaggerated bone outlines and skeletal anatomy was the fox's vessel now.

Shadow didn't know if this was a child he was staring at or a decaying, walking corpse.

It took a couple of moments for Shadow to even realize that this was Tails, the cheerful fox kit that followed Sonic everywhere. Whatever this hollow, battered shell was wasn't cheerful in any way.

Staring back at him, this child, they looked more fragile, more lost, and completely broken.

Once he processed this, he cautiously approached the fox kit. While he never particularly cared for the kid, he knew he couldn't leave them like that, couldn't leave anyone so young like that. Besides, he knew of the fox's smarts as everyone else did, perhaps the fox could help fix everything the blue idiot broke. Approaching them, he called their name...

And immediately knew this wasn't Tails as their head suddenly snapped harshly in his direction (he thought their neck was going to break).

He was grabbed by metal, sudden sharp tips of the skinny metal tails nearly dug into his skin as he was slammed harshly against the wall. He gagged, surprised at the uncharacteristically aggressive act from someone he thought he knew. Looking down, he was met with the second clue when he saw a harsh and...unnatural scowl. It was more feral, more akin to that of an animal. The kit's teeth was bared, eyes wide-eyed and buggy, and his body twitched slightly. The words the child screamed harshly met Shadow's ears.

"it's NINE, NINE not tails NEVER tails you never listen never never never-“

Realization washed over Shadow like cold water. So this wasn't Tails. This was a variant of the fox. A rather erratic variant at that. He made a unintelligible noise, trying to speak but the metal was squeezing too tightly-

The third and final cementing clue about the kit's disturbing mental state was when fox began to ramble and mumble, asking Shadow how 'they' are still making things like him. Rambling about games, about tricks, and other nonsense Shadow couldn't understand. Taking the chance, he used the fox's self-imposed distraction, kicking them away. They grunted, landing on the ground like a puppet - landing hard on their face, limbs sprawling beneath him at an almost unnatural level - before weakly, but somehow quickly, righting themselves, launching himself at the black urchin once more.

Shadow felt a slight sting of pity at the pathetic sight,

Before long, the life form quickly got the upper hand, pinning the malnourished fox and explaining he's real, how he accidentally thought the kit was Tails. The kit paused somewhat, then asked how Shadow knew that name, just now registering it through the hazy fog of insanity. Broken blue eyes then noticed Shadows gloves, and they widened when they saw the odd things Shadow took from Sonic.

"Th...those are...", the fox began to mumble with horror and fear. As his brain slowly registered it, he began to hyperventilate, tears beginning to form, tears of horror, of fear, of cruel, unforgiving grief.

(no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no this cant)  As Shadow paused, taking note of the kids horrible reaction, he quickly moved off of them in an effort to give them space, taking a few steps back for good measure, hoping to calm the kid down so he could explain everything.

(be real this cant be real this cant be this cant it cant it cant please it cant be real why why

why why why why why why why why why why i failed im a failure failure failure w

orthless worthless worthless stupid fucking idiot you knew it was too good to be true

you knew it was too good stupid stupid this has to be a dream please be a dream wake up wake up wake up

wake up wake up wake up please please this cant be happening)

He still kept his guard up, just in case. Yet, the kid, Nine, only laid there on the ground, unmoving, eyes blank and glossed over, the little chest that rose with labored breaths not hardly moved at all. Shadow stared after what felt like hours, as the kid stared blankly at the burning ceiling,

no (this monster did he did he did he no no no it can't be those are they're)

thought

(he took them he saw sonic he hurt sonic I failed i'm a failure they were supposed to but

they failed i failed i've always been a failure how could i think this would change useless fucking worthless) behind them at all.

Shadow was suddenly thrown back harshly, like an unwanted toy, with sudden force from the sharp metal tails, and he was thrown harshly as haunting, horrid shriek echoed throughout the wide halls, mixing with broken wails as the monster seeped in lonely sorrow and rage. 

(he's dead he's dead he killed him he did it I failed no no no sonic was gone the grim was pointless I lost my chance I'm so stupid so worthless so stupid im going to kill him im going to kill him i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you you did this you killed him murderer you did it you did Sonic had so much life he was so alive)

The fight continued after that, the two dancing around flames, and Shadow dodged much harsher and animalistic blows as the nine-tailed fox screamed and asked over and over again what Shadow did to Sonic, where Sonic was. That he would kill Shadow, that Shadow took the only thing he had left, the only reason he endured ‘their sick games’. Shadow tried to explain, but it was clear there wasn’t any rational thought in the screaming, sobbing demon anymore.

Shadow didn't know how it happened, perhaps it was the harsh wounds he got from the kitsune that left him slightly weaker or maybe he was distracted by the pitiful state of the thing, but there was a sudden, harsh blow to his head, and everything went black.

[bluebunnyears-08]

Just realized something.

If the theory that the Shattered Verse IS the now broken up universe, then in order to put it back together Sonics going to have to go against everything he stands for. HE is going to have to essentially kill the variants, HE is going to have to crush their hope, HE is going to have to hurt his friends, and HE’s going to have to strip them of the little bit of FREEDOM they truly have.

[bluebunnyears-08]

"There is no light without shadow, and there is no happiness without pain"

This is the fox Sonic knew, a person so happy and cheerful it blinded him of cruel nostalgia, almost mocking him of something he used to have. Something precious, something you can only have once. And Nine never got to savor it, as it was taken by the cruel fists and harsh oppression of life. He turned jaded, covering the last purity he had under a shield of snark and hatred for the world he was forced to grow in.

This fox, who wore his tails proudly, letting them grow, never hiding them in a sleek metal cocoon, smiled a smile Nine longed to have again, their blue eyes shimmering with wonder as they gazed upon him, as if he was worth their curiosity, of such innocent curiosity.

Nine swallowed an odd lump in their throat, feeling that pain in his chest. And he hated it. All of that cheerfulness, that sweetness, that gentle, naive soul the fluffy fox gave the world when Nine never had a chance; he loathed all of it.

But this was the only way to even be in the same world as Sonic, this is the only way he can be with Sonic, the only way he can be alive. So he tolerated the fox. He wasn't buddy-buddy with him, but he tried not to be hostile or rude. He stayed aloof, despite wanting company so bad, he stayed snarky, no matter how much it made him want to kick himself, he stayed strong and fierce, because he didn't deserve comfort that was meant for someone else.

He stayed broken and in secret sorrow, because it's the only way to feel that he's his own person; because he's just the shadow of someone who's fixed and happy.

[bluebunnyears-08]

How do you think Nine will react if he was somehow able to co-exist with Tails? Would Tails think its like having a Twin? I think Sonic would in a way try to push then to be like siblings because he can’t really give up

I think Nine would have mixed feelings. He'd be ecstatic to stay with Sonic in a world the hedgehog told him about. Beaches and palm trees, chili dogs and adventures. It's all so wonderful! And he can enjoy it with Sonic too, now they're together! The only problem would be the whole Tails part.

It would probably sting (and I mean sting as in rubbing salt on a stab wound) knowing you're just and alternate version of someone who had a life you longed for. He'd be aloof and pretty cold to Tails more than anyone else, but he'd tolerate Tails because he makes Sonic happy.

Tails on the other hand would be absolutely ecstatic when he see's Nine. Another him wasn't something he hasn't seen before, but this one was so cool! He had metal tails and he looked so serious and formidable! Tails hoped he could grow to be as independent and fierce as Nine was. Although he would notice that Nine didn't seem to want to talk to him, giving short and simple answers or making up an event he had to do just to avoid Tails. He wouldn't understand why, but he wouldn't force Nine to be around him.

Tails lets Nine hang out with Sonic, because he know Nine never got the moments he had with the hedgehog. He wants Nine to be happy too.

Sonic is happy that the two seem to be getting along, although Tails seems to be more excited than Nine. But nonetheless, they seem to tolerate each other. Nine looks to be slowly healing from his psychological scars, and Sonic couldn't be happier at this fact.

[bluebunnyears-08]

Fucking Crying Over Here About Prime Again (Yes I have An Obsession With This Show, So What?)

Did anyone else notice a sort a cycle with Sonic and Nine, or what hopeless situation Nine is trapped in? I mean I didn't at first but thinking about it now it's becoming kinda obvious.

Let me start with the pattern part first. When Sonic and Nine had that brief moment of trust and friendship Sonic was sucked into the shard away from Nine, leaving the kit alone, confused, and most likely worried and no doubt hurt. When Sonic and Nine end up in the Grim and Sonic chooses to go and help the rebels, leaving Nine alone again, leaving him with the horrible feeling of rejection and loneliness one more. And finally when Sonic goes to look for Nine he unintentionally leaves Nine once again at the mercy of the council.

Now you might be thinking, so what are you saying? Well, did anyone else pick up on the fact that it wasn't just a moment of events, but it was the fact that Sonic leaves Nine in an even WORSE psychological state the more he unintentionally gets pushed away (either by the literally universe, or even Nine himself) and repeatably abandons Nine?

In the first moment of unintentional pain, Sonic gets sucked into the shard, Nine being concerned, confused, and no doubt conflicted, being left alone to ponder in his own worries and thoughts, even after he escapes the council. (Another thing is how he abandoned the rebels and Rusty to find a way to find Sonic, mostly due to his nihilistic and loner mindset, but a small sliver of it might've been due to Sonic disappearing without a teace. The only person who was EVER kind to him)

The second moment leaves Nine even worse, Sonic gently shutting down the Grim DID NOT take away the pain and probable gut punch Nine felt. Nine noticably doesn't yell or snap at Sonic (his noticable changes I'll mention in another post). In fact he seems to bitterly try to swallow that rejection. He pushed himself away from Sonic in that moment, obviously trying to protect himself from the pain, letting him go back and help the rebels, not forcing Sonic to stay (even thought he could've easily done so, he didn't, which again, I'll talk about his noticable character change in another post). Sonic leaves and Nine is left with his own thoughts, to gulp down on that emotional pain on his own.

The last time is when Sonic unintentionally leaves Nine to be captured. From the scenes we see, Nine isn't having the time of his life. He's tased relentlessly, having to dealt with the fact that the person he saw as his only friend rejected being together with him, AND left him when he needed his help on top of that. Not to mention listening to plans of murder.

Imagine: You're an eight year-old child who's been bullied and ostracized by everyone around you, being abused and neglected for something you never asked for, then after YEARS of pain, isolation, and loneliness, you find someone who tells you of another life you could had, someone who shows nothing but selfless concern and care for you, and that same person gets taken right in front of you, leaving you confused, hurt and alone again for what was stated to be WEEKS. Then you build a space ship so you can find him, finding a home for the both of you, when you finally see them again though they reject your idea of a perfect world. In your head: they reject you. You let them go, deeply hurt, but come back to help, only to be captured by tyrannical dictators, abandoned again by the only friend you had. You now have to deal with the undeniable fact of them rejecting you, being stuck with cruel but idiotic dictators who talk about KILLING someone you thought cared for you, and even when you manage to pursue them against it, they talk about draining them, about essentially torturing them to death. ALL OF THAT combined with the emotional trauma of a year long abuse, living in a crap sack world of cruelty and misery, being alone, hated, AND continuously blaming and hating yourself for years, AND the future mental toll of the revelation that it took someone from ANOTHER WORLD TO MAKE YOU FEEL LOVED AND SAFE, BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE THEY SEE YOU AS SOMEONE ELSE, SOMEONE YOU COULD NEVER BE.

It REALLY makes wonder how Nine hasn't fucking SNAPPED.

But something tells me season two is going to get a lot worse for Nine. This series is about Sonic going through redemption to save the world, and Shadows eventual realization that communication takes using your words than using your fists, AND questions just how far a super genius child's mental state and psyche can last when our through isolation, horror, and depression.

But hold on, because I'm about to make this so much worse.

Which brings me to my second point of this post.

I can't remember who rn (mainly because I'm tired as fuck and writing this at 6 in the morning) but someone mentioned something that got me thinking; Nine's entire goal, his entire dream, his SUFFERING is beginning to seem all for nothing.

If the theory that Sonic collects the shards and boom worlds fixed is true, what did Nine suffer for? What did Nine fight for? What did Nine keep going for? All of that pain, that isolation, that psychological horror he experienced and will probably continue to experience, all of his efforts would be for nothing. His goals will never be fulfilled, Nine will never be able to truly win. He'll never be happy.

Either:

He'd just fade from existence and merely become another trait in someone he desperately wants the life of and refuses to be known as.

He'd get rejected by Sonic and would have to suffer this revelation. HARD.

He'd find some way to force Sonic to stay, but in a world where the hedgehog can never be truly happy in (Sonic values freedom above anything else, not to mention his considering of his friends as his home and his insatiable thirst for adventure). And given how Nine seems to want BOTH of them to be happy in the Grim (given his uses of 'we' and 'our'), it would still be for nothing, not to mention it most likely won't make Nine happy either from the sheer guilt or self hatred he'd be in.

He could prevent Sonic from getting sucked into any more shards or in the ShatteredSpace, but seeing how Shadow found a way to escape the void, it wouldn't last very long.

He could find a way to join Sonic in his world, but either reality would collapse and all of them will die or he'd have to live a life being seen as Tails's doppelganger and not a true person, not to mention to undeniable jealously and emotional torment he'd face seeing the fox's and hedgehogs unbreakable friendship.

He could betray Sonic and take over the multiverse, but he'd be hated even more than ever, seen as a monster, not to mention it would completely ignore and trample upon his goals of wanting to be happy. He'd still be fucking miserable.

He could join the Council, but same problem as the one above, only this time he's still trapped in New Yolk with a bunch of cruel dictators.

He could sacrifice himself, but he might never find peace in even that, knowing he's just a mere doppel in Sonic's eyes, knowing his efforts were futile, still rendering his actions to nothing.

No matter what you think of, Nine is still going to be miserable, dead, or reduced to a possible fate worse than death. Nine can't be happy. He can't ever win.

(Which makes my constant tag of #NineDeservesToWinNoMatterWhat pointless too, but I'm going to continue to stand by this. He deserves to win, he deserves happiness more than ANYONE.)

But it's truly depressing that Nine is a person that nobody, not even Sonic, can save. In fact, while Sonic can help and give Nine the unconditional love and support Nine definitely needs, hes inadvertently making Nine's mentality worse not just by abandonment, but by his views of Nine as a doppelganger of his best friend and not his own person, which would undoubtedly take a huge chunk of Nine's psyche, his inability to accept Nine (both as this being a part of Tails, and also due to Nine being a Tails in his eyes, again he still sees Tails), his rejection of Nine's Haven, and the WORST PART OF ALL: Giving a hope that Nine can never grasp.

Sonic gave him a hope of palm trees and beaches. A world of joy and love. A world with Chillidogs and the two of them together. Forever.

But Nine can't ever grasp it, he can only claw and scrape the edges of it, he can only stare at it and make useless prayers for it to come to life. For once, Sonic's hope, his kindness, his friendship, but these normally good things only made things even more painful, even more hopeless, to the person who needs it the most.

And that's fucking traumatizing to think about.