bluecookiesabi

[bluecookiesabi]

when i say “that reminds me” & theres zero connection you just have to take my word for it theres no time to explain

[bluecookiesabi]

i think, if you're gonna open a restaurant, you should be legally required to have a fat person come in, move through the restaurant, and sit in at least one of the chairs. I think that person should be able to veto anything from how close together the tables are to how fucking skinny the chairs are. few things tick me off more then being unable to get to half the resteraunt because all the tables are like, 10 inches apart, or sitting down in a chair that has pointless side rails only to realize that they are gonna be digging into my butt for the next hour unless i sit on the very edge of the seat and never lean back.

[bluecookiesabi]

okay i have to show everyone my favorite tiktok.

you don’t understand. i could recite this from memory.

[bluecookiesabi]

i like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and being like "i have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"

[bluecookiesabi]

[bluecookiesabi]

"what groceries u been into recently" is actually a great question, there's a bunch of good conversations inside it

[bluecookiesabi]

[bluecookiesabi]

"What were you doing at the devils sacrament" jarking my whole thing off. Next quiestuon.

[bluecookiesabi]

i could fuck a thunderstorm if i really put my mind to it

[bluecookiesabi]

i’m online and ready to look at a picture!

[bluecookiesabi]

haha thats so funny [face gets gravely serious] but were you not a staunch and trusted ally i would have you executed for such a joke

[bluecookiesabi]

"you should be at the club" I should be working on my fanfic

[bluecookiesabi]

*deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting* *deletes rant before posting*

[bluecookiesabi]

I survived because the fuck it we ball inside me burned brighter than the it's so over around me

[bluecookiesabi]

“tumblr mutual” beloved friend I would pick up at the airport if y’all visited my home city

[bluecookiesabi]