blueshiftedthaan-blog

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Okay, hiatus is formalized. Words below the readmore.

Hokay so! First and foremost, sorry for dipping off and vanishing, with double apologies to @stargazer-stargazing @ensignxretter and @skymade for ducking out of my wordy debt in the middle of our threads. I have a special place of loathing in my heart for stories left unfinished, but real life needs my full attention.

1. Work. Really, I don’t need to go into this further, right?

2. The egg of my RPG project is crackling and shifting restlessly. It’s nearly time. My To-Complete List is rapidly dwindling and soon it will be time to handle legal matters and see about kickstarter. It’s extremely exciting and terrifying! Have a playtest game lined up with some podcasting guys and another with a mad Italian man (who nobly strode forth into a wasteland before I realized I hadn’t given him the adventuring or combat sections of the book and was therefore woefully underequipped.) Thrilling! It is however, a delicate time and much of my free time is spent here, balancing and polishing. 

3. This one’s been a long time in coming; my desire and motivation for RP has dwindled. I still enjoy the activity, but the limitations of the format have really made themselves known in the past few months. Tumblr’s incessant fits of uselessness aside, the frequent lack of story completion is literary blueballs made all the worst owing to the difficulty of pursuing actual arcs. This isn’t a knock against anyone here though; if you’re having fun, that’s literally The Thing and all else is secondary... My enjoyment just doesn’t mesh without being a giant douche about chasing after threads and plotting. That role just makes everything less fun for everyone involved. Yepruna ba, I know how vexing it is when the words just aren’t coming and you have someone breathing down your neck with frequent comments of “take your time” that carry all the sincerity of a Cardassian spy promising that this time will be different.

Is my time with the blueberry done? I don’t believe so; the tingling of narratives yet unweaved continues to tickle my fingertips. If nothing else, he is an excellent vector for shitlording and that is a job that never ends... But I simply cannot promise anything. Ensign Relen th’Iraathror simply cannot cut into my attention at this juncture.

What does the future hold? Dunno, but I’ll let y’all know when I get there.

-Old Man Derek

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StarFleet Ranks

Trying to figure out your character’s rank and where it fits in the grand scheme of things? Look no further! This post lists all of StarFleet’s ranks from lowest to highest. (This information is compiled from Memory-Alpha.)

ENLISTED RANKS

Members of StarFleet who did not attend StarFleet Academy. They went through basic training and specific courses relevant to their position, from StarFleet Technical Services Academy on Mars or somewhere similar.

Recruit

Crewman Third Class

Crewman Second Class

Crewman First Class

Petty Officer Third Class

Petty Officer Second Class

Petty Officer First Class

Chief Petty Officer

Senior Chief Petty Officer

Master Chief Petty Officer

CADETS

Those currently attending StarFleet Academy. They are not yet considered full officers, and cannot issue orders, but still fit into the chain of command. There are high standards for entering the Academy, and cadets can be dismissed for poor conduct or poor grades.

Cadet Fourth Class ( freshmen / first year )

Cadet Third Class ( sophomores / second year )

Cadet Second Class ( juniors / third year )

Cadet First Class ( seniors / fourth year )

LINE OFFICERS

This is what most people would think of when they think of StarFleet officers. Academy graduates, currently stationed on a starship, starbase, or colony. Academy graduates enter the Fleet with the rank of ensign; Medical Academy graduates can sometimes enter the Fleet with the rank of Lieutenant Junior Grade.

Ensign

Lieutenant Junior Grade

Lieutenant

Lieutenant Commander

Commander ( can sometimes command a small ship or base )

Captain ( usually in command of a ship or base, but not always )

PROVISIONAL OFFICERS

These are civilians who have been temporarily granted ranks and authority over officers; they would have the same rank as a line officer above. This is a very rare occurrence, typically done out of necessity when no one else can fill a role. The rank is often revoked when the necessity has passed. Examples: Kirk being appointed first officer/captain in the 2009 film, and the former Maquis crew members of Voyager serving with StarFleet ranks.

FLAG OFFICERS

The highest ranks in StarFleet. These are the ones who call the shots. They’re rarely stationed on a ship full-time, but they can assume command of any ship they’re aboard, should they choose.

Commodore

Rear Admiral

Vice Admiral

Admiral

Fleet Admiral ( commander-in-chief holds this rank )

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bashir visits where relen is stationed one day in order to leave single serve cups of spice pudding throughout his entire quarters. how did he get in? don't worry about it. where did he get all that spice pudding? again, don't worry about it. just be glad he left a place to walk. kind of. if you're careful.

It had been a long day. The conference had gone well and his lecture on the benefits of toroidal warp fields was well-received, but he was jetlagged and had missed his post-lunch nap. It was a nasty combination and only the excitement of talking with his peers kept him from falling asleep on his feet.

A gentle wave of his hand opened the door to his temporary quarters on Earth with a hiss... Followed by a tok as a plastic cup of pudding hit the floor at his feet. He blinked at the little cup and slowly panned up to take in the entirety of his quarters. It stunned him and left his mind caught somewhere between rage and sheer amazement. Lacking better instructions, his feet carried him into the room, gingerly stepping over the pudding cups all over the floor.

They covered every horizontal surface... The bed, chair, desk, computer console, shelves, replicator, and Empty Throne, even in the sonic shower! Hundreds, perhaps even thousands of little cups of spice pudding. The list of possible perpetrators was slim... Sure, lots of folks knew that story behind the spice pudding, but there were only a few who had the sheer dedication to pull off a stunt of this magnitude.

Dax was still on the station and the tailor wouldn’t be so overt... It had to be Bashir. Can’t kill him, the Andorian thought as he numbly kicked his way through the pudding horde, death’s too good for him. The holodeck. I’ll reprogram all of his stupid programs to change every enemy into a clown. Honking, stupid clowns.

With a nearly psychotic grin, Relen set to his new task with maniacal glee. The doctor would pay, oh yes he would, he’d pay in spades 

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brashir:

     if there’s a hell? julian bashir will certainly burn in it for this. 

     seeing the ensign pale gives him a gentle twist in the gut that reminds him that he is, in fact, capable of guilt. unfortunately, he’s equally capable of ignoring it, covering it with a small smile over a sip of tea.

     truly, he will burn for this. if not by hellfire? by karma. he can already feel it. the universe does has a keen way of throwing everything right back into the good doctor’s face.

     new types of pudding. holy shit. that one gets a little snicker out of julian before he can catch himself. it isn’t his fault, really, he can’t help it! trying to pass off spy secrets as types of pudding is pretty damn hysterical. 

       ❝ new types of pudding? well, i’d be happy to hear about any you come by. i do enjoy pudding, after all. ❞

     one kind. the kind he’s got in front of him. or, possibly, the one that’s sitting in garak’s shop. all depending on what kind of pudding relen is speaking about.

At least Julian will find himself among his intellectual peers, so that’s something. Probably no spice pudding down there though.

“Thank you for the information, sir.” Relen would curse the name Bashir with every fiber of his being in a few years. Empty Throne, he didn’t even like spice pudding! “I’m sure we’ll chat again soon.”

After glancing around in what he hoped was an inconspicuous manner, the ensign nodded to the doctor and walked away with a new sense of gravitas. It added a firmness to his step.

Yeah, the Andorian wasn’t likely to ever live this one down. Worse yet, his commute between his quarters and the science department took him right past the sickbay and Garak’s shop. Bloody constant reminder! Still, that was an issue for tomorrow’s Relen... For today, the lad felt that he was now part of a larger world.

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ensignxretter:

Summer was kicking herself for letting herself run late. She was on a temporary duty of going to the Gamma Quadrant to be the exozoologist of the first of a few missions. She was on a new ship and wasn’t quite used to it and that should’ve been the first inclination to try and be earlier.

This would be her first trip into the Gamma Quadrant and she was excited, and she hoped her partner would be too. She had read the mission brief that morning before rushing to get to her destination on time. When she reached there she saw her partner. “Good morning, sorry I’m running late.” Summer spoke, looking at the Andorian with a sheepish smile. “I’m not use to the ship.” She quickly added. “So you do know which types of isopods we have to collect right?” She inquired, wondering if he had any background with any type of zoology.

If it’d be any consolation to Summer, Relen was late to his first day as well.

“Good morning,” the Andorian said as he extended a hand forward. “You’re only a minute or two behind schedule, so no big deal. Took me a month to learn how to get around DS9!”

”I read the briefing, but the differences between the isopods is beyond me. My, uh, specialty is warp theory.” He gestured back towards the airlock behind him. “The Rio Grande is ready to go. Do you prefer to pilot or shall I?”

Day Trip

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skymade:

   “Depends. Can your computer make real dirt, or is it fake, fun dirt? I think it matters. Fuck, why did I never ask Tallow if it mattered before he left?”

   Willow wasn’t one of regrets. If she wasted time regretting, she wouldn’t have any time to do anything else. Besides, most of the shit after she left Amyr wasn’t totally her fault… she didn’t think… maybe… well, either way. Didn’t really care. 

   Still, if there was anything she regretted, maybe not… drilling Tallow with questions on how to Travel alone may be somewhere… on that maybe list.

   “A sit down? Why are we sitting down? We don’t gotta sit down. In fact, I– I should probably be out as fast as possible. So! Uh.” The hand not curled around her side drummed against her Staff, only briefly. Shoes tapped arrhythmically against a yellow and black lined floor. Moving, moving, moving, moving… 

   “So, uh, okay. Bar. I’ll go to the bar. And, yeah. I’m Willow. Hi – uh… … … uh…” Wow, was her memory really that bad? She stared at him, a little embarrassed, a little apologetic. “… Raypen Thor?” 

There’s an old Andorian word that fit Relen’s mindset in this moment: Uhktooph. It’s a amalgamation of the words for ‘ice’ and ‘drowning’ and it’s used for that special sort of confusion-leading-into-panic when someone falls through the ice into frigid water and quickly becomes disoriented. Aside from its literal use, Andorians also utilize the term to describe any situation where one finds themselves unable to make sense of anything that’s going on.

The ensign was hardcore uhktooph-ing right now.

“Not... No, the, uh, dirt would be holographic.” His antennae fixed themselves on Willow in the vague hope that maybe something about the purple lass would start making sense. “Rel-en th’Iraa-thror,” he repeated slowly, “and no, I don’t think the bar is a good idea. “You seem to be hurt and as the highest ranked officer here,” here being a relative value not exceeding 15 meters, “and it is my assessment that you need medical aid... Or a security team.”

He crossed his arms and tried to look imposing. It was a hard act to sell when you barely scraped 5′3 at maybe 130 pounds.

Interruptus Salix

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stargazer-stargazing:

“You’ll know them when you see them. Just don’t do anything stupid.” Zap started off towards the warp core.

Angel pulled Relen in closer as they walked. “He can get a little…Excitable. Just give him a chance and try to keep your cool. He may be a combat expert, but he’s marshmallow filled.”

Relen’s antennae clenched for a moment at Zap’s comment, but he was quick to relax them... Only to find them tensed again when the chief engineer got a bit closer than he was used to having senior officers. This was going to be one of those odd assignments, he could tell. Still, weirdness or not, the engisn wasn’t about to let the opportunity slip by.

He kept his back straight and nodded to Angel. “Of course, commander,” he replied to Zap as he tried in vain to understand the marshmallow comment. “It was mentioned in the briefing that the Baldur’s warp field keeps sliding slightly out of alignment. I presume the warp coils have all checked out? No anomalies there?”

Blue and Yellow

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“Call me a snowhead. Call me a snowhead one more time.”

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Pretty sure calling an Andorian a “snowhead” is racist.  In fact, most of this is racist.  From FASA’s Next Generation Officer’s Manual (1988)

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brashir:

me, when first making this blog: julian’s an angel who wouldn’t hurt a fly or mess with anyon–

relen: hey 

julian, who has spent way too much time with garak: >:3c

Years, even decades, later LtCmdr th’Iraathror, respected and oft-cited warp field specialist still finds single serving cups of spice pudding on his desk now and then. Everyone else finds it hilarious. Blueberry finally snaps and swears revenge on the doctor and his pet lizard.

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stargazer-stargazing replied to your post: If a human and an andorian had a baby, what color...

((Actually I think one of the books does mention the other two! They’re Aenar as well. Apparently Shran has a type.

“Once you go pale, that’s all that you’ll nail.”

Alternatively, “once you go light blue, it’s all that will excite you.”

You’re welcome.

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If a human and an andorian had a baby, what color would it be?

Now there was an unpleasant thought!

“I wouldn’t care to, uh, guess,” the blueberry replied after he managed to get his antennae to relax. “I do not think such a union would be possible without extensive genetic reconfiguration.”

“Our population problems haven’t not gotten so severe that we would consider cross-breeding yet.”

Given the complex reproductive process that Andorians go through, with fully three members contributing genetic material, it isn’t likely that such a cross would be possible. That said, if one could fertilize a shen’s egg with male gametes, you’d stand a better chance than a Human egg getting a double dose of Andorian ‘male’ gametes.

Now, let’s do some extrapolation. First, consider that cmdr Shran boinked an Aenar (please ignore the lack of second male and lack of Andorian naming convention ANYWAY!), he ended up with the adorable Talla.

Dawwwwwwwwwww.

Aenar are notorious pale and when you see the two ENT blueberries next to each other, thusly:

You can see the clear color differentiation. Skin pigmentation is shown to be rather diverse in onscreen appearances, but nearly all Andorians shown have a fairly striking shade of blue. From Talla’s more Aenar-like coloration, I surmise that lighter tones are more genetically dominant among the Andorians. Overreaching? Maybe. I’m willing to bet that if you could successfully crossed an Andorian with a Human, you’d end up with more pink than blue; probably something close to a Human with hypothermia.

Also note the lack of the distinctive gap at the end of Talla’s wigglers that all other Aenar are shown to have. Dominant trait? Seems reasonable! Dominant enough to ensure the offspring would also have antennae? Eh, definitely a stretch.

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skymade:

   “Bajor, huh?” Sounded made-up-enough for her to have scribbled it before she got here. He looked made-up-enough. Fuck, maybe it was blood loss. Maybe it was this fucking day… she felt so fucking tired… 

   But she still beamed, still rocked with something like innate, excitable energy. 

   “Uh, no! No attention. Well, yes attention. Always attention, yeah, please. Just no medical. I’ll be fine. Doesn’t hurt that much.” It did, but, y’know. It was Willow, after all. There was a moment where she shifted her hand – disappeared from where she was standing to reappear, smile slightly more pained and ragged, before she sucked in some air and mustered a beam again. 

   “So! You said bar? Where is that? And is there any dirt in the Bajor space station place? Because, like, that’ll be helpful. I’ll need that, super, yes, please, thank you.” 

Wow, rude. What, was Willow some sort of Occupation denier? Someone somewhere didn’t sign up for this.

When the woman seemed to vanish for half a moment, the ensign’s antennae naturally curled back on themselves. That was an odd feeling! Whatever she had done, and Relen was certain he wasn’t sure what that might have been, his wigglers did not like it one bit. The sensation reminded him of his first, and only, sip of a pan-galactic gargle blaster.

“No attention, okay,” Relen replied while steering way away from that dirt comment. Something was seriously wrong here and the Andorian couldn’t seem to get any mental traction on the situation. It was... Disquieting. “The bar is just past that door, but how about we have a sit-down first? Would you be more comfortable if the computer made some dirt for us?” One blue hand rose to rest against his chest. “My name is ensign Relen th’Iraathror. You said your name was Willow, yes?”

Like all Starfleet officers, Relen had undergone plenty of first-contact style training that covered everything from darkmoking the jalad to how to deal with literal minded species... But nothing had prepared him for Maybe Drunk Interloper. Upon further reflection later, that would seem like an obvious choice to add to the curriculum.

Interruptus Salix

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stargazer-stargazing:

Both of them smiled at the young man. This time, it was Zap that spoke up. “No, but I can understand why you’d think that! Only a few of our Auroran officers are in engineering. Most of us are scientists.”

“If the jeffries tubes were filled with water the other engineers wouldn’t be able to get through without breathing equipment.”

“What we have is a different integrated tunnel system that runs down the hallways in the ship. There’s various entry points, but I highly advise against trying to get through them without breathing equipment.”

“There have been accidents with a few officers who seemed a little too fresh out of the academy.”

“Apparently living on a starship isn’t interesting enough without someone almost drowning.” Zap’s ears pulled straight back in annoyance. He was more busy than he liked to be as the chief of security.

The ensign nodded and resisted the urge to comment that he was, in fact, quite a strong swimmer and would love to give these wetffries tubes a try. Maybe after work, he thought moments after he coined the term wetffries tubes. He made a note to share that one at first opportunity.

“I suppose it’s in an ensign’s nature to seek the unknown, yes?” His antennae wiggled in a mirthful gesture. “So long as the signs are marked, I’ll be sure to keep my distance.”

Relen hefted his tools and gestured towards the door. “Shall we head to Engineering and continue talking while I work? I very much look forward to seeing your system.” Were he not supervised, it’s likely the thaan would spend a few minutes just smearing his antennae against the Baldur’s warp core. Keep a close eye on blueberries.

Blue and Yellow

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you fucked-up a perfectly good vulcan is what you did. look at it. it’s got this simple feeling

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stargazer-stargazing:

Two officers awaited the young Andorian when he arrived. One was a woman with tan skin and long brown hair tied in a bun, and lovely brown eyes. The other was a short man with an athletic build. He had orange hair, yellow skin, and pink eyes. The woman was the first to approach.

“Hello! It’s a pleasure to have you aboard! I’m lieutenant commander Angel Patel, and this is Commander Zap Stargazer! Captain Patel said you would be coming to help with our warp core!”

The Andorian nodded to each officer in term. “Thank you for having me, commanders, and yes, if there’s a problem with your core, I’ll find it.” A bold promise from an ensign, but dammit all, he believed it. This was his first chance to really shine!

Relen hefted his equipment and tried to look cool’n’collected... But if anyone here was familiar with Andorian body language, the lad was practically vibrating with excitement. “The Baldur is fascinating ship. Is it true that you have water-filled jeffries tubes?”

Blue and Yellow

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skymade:

   Was she in danger? “Usually.” But she said it with the dancing grin of someone who was excited at the thought.

( In fact, even now her hand twitched against the wound – something desperate, something reassuring. She had to make sure it was there. It hurt almost too much to quite feel. ) 

   “Uh, lots of people, always. No big deal. Your bullets hurt a lot less. It’s fine. Unless!” And now she was thinking out loud. No different to usual, but this time seemed a bit more obvious. “You shot me with poison dart stuff. So I’ll only start to feel it later. But I can’t be poisoned, so, you just wasted your cool computer dart thing.” 

   Wait… computer? “Oh, fuck, is that where are we? Do we live inside of a computer? N… nice. Is there any, like, dirt inside of this computer?” 

What even was this chick’s deal? Poison dart? Dirt inside a computer? Relen was beginning to suspect that the purple woman was drunk... Or, he thought as he noticed her shivering hand held tight against her side, maybe she’s in shock. That would explain a lot, actually.

Antennae fixed on her staff, the Andorian took another slow step towards the woman. “Er, uh... Willow, was it? We’re not inside a computer.” He paused. “Well, we sort of are... We’re on a holodeck on a space station in the Bajor system. The weapon I, uh, shot you with wasn’t real, nor was the dirt or people. Are you wounded? Do you need medical attention?”

Honestly, the Andorian was about half a breath away from calling medical. And security. Basically anyone with more than one pip on their collar would be a welcome sight at this point.

Interruptus Salix