early 30ies ~ she/her/they/them ~ 16+ blog ~ come find my stuff on the AO3 or enjoy the chaos here (i try to tag well though if you want to filter things out)
knitting tutorial made by a twenty-something knitting influencer: 18 min long, 12 of those minutes being the intro and a sponsor plug, they show the first few steps of the tutorial at the slowest speed known to man, they show the most important steps at a neck-break speed, they stop every five seconds to talk about what they just did, 40,000 comments filled with questions ranging from insightful to “how do i knit”, filmed with a camera that costs more than a car, the tutorial is incorrect.
knitting tutorial made by a seventy-something grandmother: two min long, filmed 17 years ago, shows you what you want with the skilled patient hands of a beloved deity, made with the world’s shittiest camera, the best video on the fucking internet, four comments and 30 views, you lose the video and never find it again.
Queer history is often complex. One particular complication that I am thinking about right now is the messy Venn diagram that occurs when the erasure of a lesbian relationship leads to homophobic historians suggesting that the parties in question had no physical relationship so as to say that they had no relationship at all. With the current knowledge that two (or more) people can have a romantic relationship without a physical one, this does not change the possibility of the women in question being lesbians, but does bring forward the possibility that they were asexual.
This possibility is complicated by the fact that finding evidence of a sexual relationship between two women is a difficult task on the best of days. It is further made difficult by the additional fact that a large part of history (especially though not exclusively European history) has included the specific brand of sexism that assumes that women have no sexuality to speak of. This first can lead to people trying to make a woman seem respectable by stripping her of her sexuality, and second, can lead the woman in question to not know or not express her sexuality out of fear. Neither of these things makes a person asexual by most definitions of asexuality in use today.
All these things are inseparable, frustrating, and worth acknowledging in the broader discussions of queer history. Asexual history exists and deserves to be explored, and I am hopeful that, as a queer historian, queer history continues to complicate the discussion. There is so much worth in the addition of asexuality into our understanding of queer history, and a part of that worth is how it adds depth and dimension to these particular dynamics that have appeared in the telling of history.
you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy