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Thinking about how eddie and buck were definitely bedroom kids but chris is so clearly a living room kid and that's the kind of breaking of generational trauma i love to see

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i deserve a songbvrd fic after that finale

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the reverse eddieshannon fake out was incredible. like we were led to believe that eddie ran because it got too hard. eddie has said himself that reenlisting in afghanistan was him running from shannon. and then she ran from him. it was a cycle they both got caught up in, and then their marriage failed. shannon yelled at him. she didn't need a provider, she needed a partner.

this time, things got hard too. eddie pointed his finger in buck's face and he yelled and he was so so so angry. but instead of running, he brought his son home because he knew buck needed chris. he was able to push through everything else to be the partner buck needed. because buck was feeling isolated and like he was lacking connection, so eddie brought him family. family who may not be biologically related to buck, but who accepted him in their diaz ranks a long long time ago.

eddie broke the cycle. instead of doing the same things that destroyed his relationship with shannon, he took a step back and realized what buck needed. what they both needed. their family, in tact and together again. and so eddie made it happen.... eddie's first. and his last.

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I don't know that this nuance really matters, but I don't think Buck is selfish so much as he is self-absorbed. I feel like selfishness kind of has a connotation of like, wanting himself to have things (understanding, support, love) at the expense of others, or greedily grasping those things for himself without caring if others have them, and it's not really that. It's more that when he's upset, he becomes temporarily incapable of getting outside of his own head. He is certainly not indifferent to others' feelings (the grief surveys prove that); he just doesn't really see or understand the way others are feeling, because he's too focused on the way he is feeling.

The only reason I say this is because Eddie actually does the exact same thing, it just manifests in a different way. He is so focused on how he is feeling that he projects it onto others--like accusing Buck of making him choose between him and Chris when he wasn't, or preemptively getting mad at Buck for not being happy about the El Paso job when really he isn't happy about the El Paso job--and then he reacts to the feelings he projected instead of what's actually happening.

But also, it's important to realize that all people get self-absorbed when they are unhappy, and that's not really a true reflection on a person's character. We also see this in the scene with Athena and Karen, when Athena admits she's being unfair, and Karen says, "You're grieving. Fair can mind its own damn business." We are meant to understand that people need some extra grace when they are hurting and are temporarily incapable of seeing past that hurt.

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i think it's important to point out that eddie's parents stole his kid and were letting people believe they were christopher's parents, yet eddie was gentle as he announced he was taking his son back. yeah, he was petty and left his dad in lubbock, but he also kissed his mom on the forehead as he went to leave.

meanwhile, he is willing to scream and cry and point his finger in buck's face. because he is safe with buck in a way he isn't safe with his parents. the difference is SO LOUD. eddie can't be messy there. they are watching his every move, so he has to keep himself together. but with buck, he knows he can fall apart, and buck will still be there. and that's why LA (buck) will always be home. and why el paso (his parents) can never be.

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this is the kind of fight the kind of conflict and tension you could only get with seven years of history btw I'm not naming names but some people could never get what we just got bc the shared history just isn't there. These are two people who know each other intimately and to their core and know which buttons to push to get the reaction they want bc theyre familiar with every single little nerve ending in the others psyche. that fight scene was a form of intimacy that's built over years and not months and the reward of sticking with a relationship that's been built over the better part of a decade.

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That was a fucking married person fight, oh my god. It starting over something small (the groceries) and escalating so quickly. Hitting the other where it hurts the most because you're hurting and it's easiest to hurt the people you love than deal with your hurt.

The tension. The domesticity. The simmering anger. The grief.

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Fanfic is a free hobby.

It's one of the last few things we can have as a society that's free. You can engage, for free. People give you things (art, stories, etc), for free.

Don't buy into the consummerism just because it's everywhere else.

You don't have to consume everything you interact with. You don't have to use things, just because they exist.

You're allowed (still, for now), to have things that are enjoyable for free.

Do you realise how insane the world is? We don't have many places where we can just be, for free anymore, but ao3 is. Did you notice we don't have ads in ao3? We don't have pop ups? Where ELSE do we not have that?

Where else can you just go and not have to wait for a commercial to be over or for ads to be on the sidelines?

I don't think the younger people understand, but the whole of internet used to be like this. YouTubers would do Youtube for free, just because. You couldn't monetise your internet presence before.

Ao3 is like a little preserved corner of the internet where the old internet used to be, and it's being attacked by people who do not understand that free things are allowed to exist without judgment.

Please don't ruin this for us.

Some of us need it.

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'We killed him for realism'

THE SEASON STARTED WITH A FUCKING BEE TORNADO, TIM.

THAT UPSIDE DOWN CRUISE SHIP SAILED LONG AGO.

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Pls for my sanity I need this. This was so monumentally unnecessary. Tim Minear had the perfect fucking recipe for the show. No matter what route they go, everyone is going to stay pissed. Props to everyone who's done with the show after this bc I fear I am not strong enough to let go yet 😭😭

WE STILL HAVENT SEEN A BODY THE FEDS HAD HIS BODY WE GOT THE MOM BEING LIED TO ABOUT THE EMPTY COFFIN THEY LIED TO ATHENA THATS NOT BOBBY IN THERE HES STILL ALIVE THE GOVERNMENT HAS HIM BOBBY STILL ALIVE BOBBY COMING BACK IN THE FINALE I KNOW IT

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I wasn't actively watching Criminal Minds when Emily Prentis dies in 6x18 "Lauren" nor for 7x01 "Ita Takes A Village" for her return. All I know is when I watched it, we found out at the very end OF THE SAME EPISODE that her death was faked. But there was never a confirmation that Emily would ever return. That anyone but Hotch or JJ would ever know the truth of her death, until 7x01.

Now obviously, we didn't fucking get that with 9-1-1. NO. We got an unecessary death, FROM A DEASEASE WITH A SYMPTOM THAT MAKES YOU MIMIC DEATH, amongst all other evidence that could equal to an alive Bobby Nash. When I say I need bobby nash to have some type of Emily Prentiss resurrection return, I mean that!

Hypothetically, rn no one would know Bobby's still alive instead of 2 two people knowing. In this scenario it could be a perfect cliffhanger, just a small nefarious hint that has us asking questions and hinting at the possibility of his 'resurrection'. Ideally would I like to or prefer to wait until the first episode of season 9, no. But if this is the route we have to go to guarantee and alive and well Bobby idc. No one fucking wanted this Tim. Idc if it makes me delusional or in denial, I'm not accepting this until latest 9x01 if I don't see him or any semblance or hint of a return before then. For my own sanity.

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Also, just to be clear

All of us will pretend that Bobby is alive when writing fics for the future right?

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You all saying that you’ll stop watching the show if Bobby’s actually dead is so admirable because I’m gonna have to watch that shit until Buddie becomes canon or we find out why Chimney’s called Chimney whichever comes last

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Fandom is so different now and it’s becoming un-fun with how quickly shit moves.

I just want to enjoy things. I don’t want to have to play a game of Artist-Race that seems to be afoot lately.

Ya’ll eat up fandoms, leave artists and writers bone dry and then move on so fucking quickly then fucking wonder where all the Good Fandom Stuff is.

Idk Maybe cherish some things for longer. Reblog stuff. Interact with people. Comment and share.

Fandom is Capitalism now and I’m not being nuanced.

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Bobby Nash might be dead on ABC, but he’s alive and well on AO3.

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I don’t wanna be that one bitch who can’t let go but like,,,, this can’t be. they wouldn’t have let it be spoiled so easily a few weeks ago. they wouldn’t have killed bobby. they wouldn’t have— they never die. chimney had a rebar through his skull. buck had a firetruck fall on him. eddie nearly chokes on mud. I—

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