boba-t-butch

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This is an incredible read. It's like Ozy took every annoyed rant I and numerous detractors of Conflict is Not Abuse have made while gathered around our kitchen tables with friends and actually formed it into a coherent take-down. I've been waiting for someone to write this for years and I'm so grateful I didn't have to do it, that someone else did it far better.

Ultimately, Conflict Is Not Abuse is the among the purest works of victim mindset I have ever read. It just has different ideas than normal people about what makes you a victim. Someone physically attacking you and breaking your bones, for example, doesn’t make you a victim. Schulman wants to reserve that status for people who have truly suffered, such as: People whose phone calls were not returned. People who got in Twitter discourse, but whose interlocutor didn’t want to meet up in person to talk about it. People who were broken up with even though they didn’t consent to being broken up with. People who have provided an extremely convincing argument about why they deserve to be friends with someone, and yet that person still doesn’t want to be friends with them. People who hit on someone who claims not to be attracted to them, even though they totally were, bro. People who were rejected romantically without even the opportunity to stand outside a window holding a boom box that’s playing In Your Eyes. People who have been cruelly iced out just because they broke someone’s bone which is, clearly, not that bad in the grand scheme of things. Ironically, this entire line of argumentation is a great example of how thinking of yourself as a victim causes you to harm or abuse others. Maybe it’s performance art.

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I’m not gonna say solving the insect crisis and biodiversity/extinction issues are going to be easy, but I am saying that after committing to native plants for only 2 summers in a row in even a small portion of my yard, I saw 5 lightening bugs in my front yard today!

They were in no one else’s yards, but they are in mine!

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obligatory post today

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so i just got fired from the public library for being too vocal about palestine, trying to figure out next steps but i need stable income. they said "river" and "sea" are considered hate speech. if you're able, please consider subscribing to a paid tier of my substack.

https://substack.com/@bobabutch

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Can we please start romanticizing knowing and accommodating your limits instead of romanticizing pushing yourself to the point of burnout and illness? Like being able to stay within the frames of what your brain and body can actually handle isn't laziness, it's a vital skill that more people should practice even as this society makes it hard.

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I have some news for members of the united states armed forces who feel like they are pawns in a political game and their assignments being unnecessary.

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it’s crazy how different you get treated in a mask but what really gets me is that when people ask why I’m masking, I’ve stopped saying I’m immunodeficient and started saying I have an immunodeficient family member at home. I am not exaggerating when I tell you this has 100% improved every single encounter I’ve had with anti-maskers. i’m not exaggerating in the slightest.

i used to tell people i’m immunodeficient and they’d ask invasive questions about my diagnosis, whether my parents kept my childhood overly sterile, whether I was vaccinated as a child (with the implication that it would have been bad if I were).

Now that I say I have an immunodeficient family member at home, people smile knowingly and say, “oh, well you do what you have to do,” and “my mom went through chemo. I remember how hard it was to do all the precautions” and “that’s so kind of you.”

if i tell someone i mask because i’m disabled, i’m assumed to be the weak link in our society, a burden to my family.

if i tell someone i mask to protect a disabled family member, i become the burdened, compassionate caretaker deserving of sympathy. how sad that i must limit myself to protect someone i love. how heroic that i choose to do so.

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my partner does beautiful leatherwork but is bad at promoting himself, so i’m here to do it for him

Everything is made from real leather - no plastic! - that is veg-tanned, meaning no ecologically damaging chemicals are used in the tanning process. He makes pieces both as fashion statements for casual daily use and for BDSM / leather fetish wear. Everything can be made to order and adjusted for sizing and accessibility needs - larger sizes of any piece do not incur an upcharge, and any needed or wanted customizations are welcome and encouraged, whether it be accommodating for mobility limitations or doing a custom paintjob.

He regularly makes chest harnesses, strap-ons, and collars, but he has also done full-body sets, buckle corsets, garters, and more, and is always enthusiastic to make unique custom pieces of any kind.

he doesn’t post his work on tumblr, but you can follow him on twitter or instagram. he also has a shop of ready-to-ship items as well as commission info for strap-ons and chest harnesses on his kofi!

dimitri is a disabled trans person who makes everything with the lens of those groups, so a piece that fits your body and your needs at an attainable price is extremely important to him. his pieces are priced quite low for what they are to make them as accessible as possible. if you’re a sex worker, reach out to either of us about receiving a discount, and anyone can pay in installments if needed. thanks for looking <3

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Reporter: Why do you think so many countries’ governments around the world are just ignoring what’s happening in Gaza?

Greta Thunberg: Because of racism, that’s the simple answer, I would say. Racism, and basically desperately trying to defend a deadly, destructive system that systematically maximizes short term economic profit and geopolitical power over the well being of humans and the planet. Right now, it is morally difficult to defend that – it is impossible— but they’re desperately trying which is …. absurd is not the word, but there are no words to describe it.

- Greta Thunberg in Paris, after returning from Israel’s illegal abduction of her aboard the Madleen (10 Jun 25)

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when I was a kid I read a sci-fi story where some researcher discovers that all crocodiles since prehistory have had the same congenital heart defect, so they set about curing it. when they do, suddenly their research specimen starts getting stronger and healthier and growing rapidly and developing new appendages, and it turns out all crocodilians were actually stunted sickly forms of dragons. that story really stuck with me because it's basically an expression of the "what if I went to the doctor and they discovered I was deficient in one special vitamin and then I took a pill and all my problems and ailments vanished immediately" fantasy.

unrelated, I started taking daily antihistamines this month for the first time in my life,

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This is the worst time to give into apathy, to give into "compassion fatigue", to give into defeatism. Things are dire. So fucking dire.

Like did you know the International Court of Justice has dismissed the case against the UAE for being complicit in genocide because they lack jurisdiction? Did you also know that drones have attacked Port Sudan, where aid would enter the country? The main power station has been hit, leaving the city in a blackout!

So please make noise for Sudan. We need a permanent ceasefire and we need the UAE, along with other countries, such as Russia, Libya, Colombia, and Saudi Arabia to be held accountable. Make sure to boycott, protest, and of course, donate! How about you donate and share my friend's, Randa, @rnd8, fundraiser? She is a Sudanese living in Rwanda and she is raising funds to evacuate her family. Thankfully, her father and 3 sisters have evacuated and reunited with her, but her two brothers are still left behind in Southern Khartoum to this day!

Let's reach the 34K mark ASAP! There is €816 left to go! Plus, GFM has given an extension, but it has passed, which means the fundraiser can close at any moment! You can match me. I have given €10, but you are more than welcome to give any amount! ! !

Verification: Shared by Jin (@/jinforjustice on IG), and @/northgazaupdates!

€33,184 / €35,000

Tagging for reach. Please leave a reply if you wish to be removed. Thank you.

@relelvance @bioh4zards @fogsvr @swallowedabug  

@is-there-a-filipino-legend-yet @confusedquizzer

@the-rebloggerrr @snorlaxgod @lapin-noire

@mpc07-foundtheinternet @beybuniki @umbr3llaz 

@5nake-eater @romantiquue @gamb0fficial @vincentspork

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@cosmicgamerboy @andnowanowl @lun4rc0w @purpleweredragon

@postanagramgenerator

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On the topic of English people being shitheads towards Welsh people - This fucking dude today on AITA

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[“The misconception about generosity is that you should be willing to do pretty much anything, and if you aren’t, you need to change your attitude and expand yourself somehow. This is backwards. The secret to generosity is to tend to your limits. When we can say no, we no longer have to guard against what someone may ask us for, so we relax and become generous within our limits. It’s limits first, and then generosity and joy arise from there. Like any form of giving, if you feel resentful or hesitant, you have not yet noticed or communicated your limit. When you feel tense about giving, look to your limits. Ask yourself, What am I afraid they will ask me for? Which is to say, What am I afraid to say no to? You also might find that when you trust yourself to stay responsible, your limits themselves relax somewhat. You learn you don’t have to keep your guard up and that you can change your mind at any time.”]

Betty Martin, The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent

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this made me laugh waaaay too hard