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the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier

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Dreams, dreams Of when we had just started things

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I think 50 shades of grey did so much damage to BDSM writing in fic and like not because I think fic writers were taking inspiration from it, but we did get a lot of detailed explanatory posts about all the different ways in which those guys were Doing It Wrong, which is not in and of itself a bad thing but since then everybody got so hung up on making sure everybody in their fics was nothing like 50 shades of grey and actually demonstrates that yes I do understand the principles of safe sane and consensual and the traffic light system and safewording and aftercare and checking in that now everybody fucks like a 101 handbook and I think we've only just recently started to recover from it. love me a dynamic where it's two repressed freak idiots who accidentally invent BDSM all on their own and have to come up with the strangest most deeply harmful ways of navigating that situation

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i remember when mdzs first came out and i didn't know shit about the genre yet, so my friend and i found it in a bookstore and she went "grandmaster of demonic cultivation???? what is 'cultivation'. google says it's practicing agriculture. how can you do that demonically." and i was like "farming evilly and deviously......"

anyways this exchange became ten times funnier when i read mdzs years later and got to the part where everyone thinks wei wuxian is establishing a horrible evil demonic sect with the wen remnants but he's actually just trying to farm so they don't starve. doing some straight up evil and demonic and devious farming.

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You know what? Lan Qiren deserves more credit. If my brother married a murderer, peaced out forever, and left me to run an entire religious sect while raising two autistic gifted kids with insane magical powers, I would have lost my fucking mind, crashed out, and gone on a killing spree.

Like, yeah. He could have done a lot better. But under the circumstances he could have done so much worse.

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I'm super out of it but hopefully I can word this well...

Idk I just feel like tumblr danmei is heavily dominated by mxtx readers who haven't read much else (I'm not judging, you do you) and I got curious if that was true.

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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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cloud in costa del sol if he wasn’t busy saving the world TT

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the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

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you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

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You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

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Lan Qiren would definitely a 5G conspiracy theorist who forbid his nephews from using technology in case the flexible woke got to them

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There's things I wanna say to you But I'll just let you live Like if you hold me without hurting me You'll be the first who ever did Lana Del Rey - Cinnamon Girl

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The Untamed | Legend of Zang Hai

Wei Wuxian and Zang Hai having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

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remember the wonderful world of the untamed behind the scenes photos

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Okay you guys.

IF YOU PRIMARILY DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH reply with what you mentally call it, if you have a nickname for it or something