boldofyoutoassumeishitpost - Tumblr blog

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you know what? fuck you *unpops your pussy*

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Hey gaud why is your skin wet enough to wring out

*peels off the top layer of my hands like a pair of gloves & wrings them out over the sink*

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Due to personal reasons I will no longer be

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There’s plenty of places to sit if you aren’t a fucking coward

Additionally, bringing your own seating is the intimate power move. The uglier, the better. Bring an 80’s beanbag or a rusted out lawnchair.

Real talk I hate modern interior design. I loathe it. I detest it in the personal vindictive way typically reserved for middle school bullies and extended family members who vote republican. Modern furniture design is grotesque, and not in the fun freaky way I respect. It is disgusting. It is morally indefensible. It has no back support, provides no comfort, no joy, no cushion for my tush or my spine. Minimalism does not exist for you, it in fact resents your very presence and the fact of your birth. These worthless sticks of chrome and pleather furniture are shaped solely to stroke the slimy egoes of fool designers & capitalists & hipster-cum-sports bars that charge $12 for an appetizer. Such morally defunct furnishings are for observation and corporate office waiting room decoration only, their raison d'etre is stubbed toes and back pain, they exist to punish you for having the needs of flesh, how dare you mistake them for friends

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I helped illegally raid a puppy mill once! It was cool and I highly recommend it

We got a bulldog from a breeder who didn’t want her anymore and this breeder lives in like, a McMansion so I’m kind of 😡 he just gives up dogs. The bulldog we have is a girl named Ava, luckily she breathes better than any other bulldog I’ve met, but I notice her feet are sore and questioned the breeder about it and he said it’s because she’s been on pavement a lot. I noticed cages on pavement in the background with other dogs in them. It’s warm outside and bulldogs are heat sensitive. Ava also has hair loss, which of course I also asked about, and the breeder said it’s normal after pregnancy. I have no idea if this is true, but it’s pretty clear these dogs are not in good condition. Oh, and apparently this breeder has almost FIFTY dogs. There’s only two other people helping. So there’s just like, a line of small cages outside with dogs, not much in the cages either other than sometimes metal bowls.

I’m pretty sure we unintentionally rescued a dog from a puppy mill.

How is your Thursday going?

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I don’t understand people who are like “paintings of sunsets are boring” like!!! Art is!!! So good!!! Regardless of how many times people have painted sunsets, sunsets are still beautiful!!! People have been painting sunsets for hundreds of years and painting them for millennia!!!! How can that be boring!!!!

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See I grew up in the rural south so for me this is just like. Shit happens man, I’ve seen worse. If you don’t want shit to happen don’t play hide and seek in the country you absolute buffoon

when i was 8-9, i was playing hide and seek with my sisters (i am the b e s t at that game) at my grandma’s house, and as a last minute decision i decided to hide inside the giant pussywillow in the backyard. i hid in there for at least an hour and only heard my sisters nearby once. another hour or two passed, and i was wondering how they hadnt found me yet, because im not that good, and so i climbed out and went looking for them. it was starting to get dark and when i went inside my grandma was super suprised to see me. she said “how did you get here?” and i said, “ive been hiding in the pussywillow since we started playing hide and seek” and she said “really? because i saw you leave with your sisters.” and i got a wicked chill. she called my mom and she said “she came home with us, how did she get there?” and i told her that i’d been hiding and she said “then who came home with us?” and went to check on me. i wasnt there so she asked my sister “wheres (my name)?” and she said “she was just telling me to come outside with her because she had something to show me but i said no because its dark. she was really mad at me.” and my mom told me after i got home that after my sister had said that she had looked out the window and saw me staring at her with big pale blue eyes.

my eyes are green.

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Would you like your dick to stay attached or no

Because you absolutely can but there is no guarantee your dick will stay attached

could you really ride a jackhammer like a pogo stick like in cartoons or is it just another sorcerers trick

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Mate that’s an allergic reaction. I’m allergic to citrus and that’s what happens.

Hey guys judt a quick question. What does it feel like when you eat a kiwi?

Cuz for me it feels like after you've eaten waaaay too much pineapple and your mouth burns and like your mouth is all numb and burny and I've just been told that's not normal ???

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Applebee’s on Portsmouth Blvd.

restaurant called horrible restaurant where they don’t give you food they just beat you up

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The T stands for Three dirt-related emergency room visits

dirt

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The r stand for Regret after consuming the dirt

dirt

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I’m McDying, Squirtle

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Mm,,, I can’t resist taking a bite of the raw dough before cooking