boneandbourbon

[boneandbourbon]

[boneandbourbon]

The GILT proxy mask is done

[boneandbourbon]

opinion on aams/maps? /genuine question

(aam= adult attracted minor,map=minor attracted person)

This seems like bait, but fuck it, I’ll give my opinion. Tw for discussions of pedophilia and grooming under the cut

If you’re asking what I think about pedophiles and pedophilia (which is what being a “MAP” is), then I would say those are people with an illness no different to you or I.

They need to be in therapy and getting help, and I have no problem with them up until the moment they decide to offend. Then they’re a sexual predator, and anyone who knows me knows how I handle those.

As for “adult attracted minors,” this is a more complicated topic. Teens being “attracted” (heavy on the quotations there because it is not true attraction) to adults is fairly developmentally normal. Teens, especially older teens, are bound to gain crushes and the like on authority figures or mentor figures or generally older people they interact with regularly. (Ask me how I know.)

However, actively pursuing those relationships is highly irresponsible and a marker of poor or neglectful parenting (and possible trauma in the home). You should be dating within your appropriate age range, and when a child (seventeen or younger) decides to attempt to initiate a romantic relationship with an adult, it is always the responsibility of the adult to say no and cut them off if necessary.

Adults and minors being in relationships (unless it’s like. 17 and 18 but this is not what we’re talking about anyway) is never okay and will always be abusive. It is always an abuse of power, an abuse of trust, and an abuse of the child.

Even if the child “agrees” or “wants” it.

The usage of “adult attracted minors” to me reeks of trying to blame groomed and manipulated children for their victimhood. There is no such thing as an “adult-attracted minor.” There are teens with normal crushes that should be curbed by the receipient and there are children who have been failed repeatedly and intensely, and who deserved better.

The inverse usage of “minor attracted person/people” reeks of trying to shirk the responsibility and weight of being a pedophile. Yes, the term has negative connotations, but the resolution to that is education. Not changing the fucking term. You are not a “minor attracted person.” You’re an adult who is attracted to children. You’re a pedophile. And you need to get help.

[boneandbourbon]

I'm so silly... when you said that shi/hir pronouns are intersex exclusive.. I thought you meant only people who are also intersex can call you by those pronouns...

omg noo haha just that only intersex people should use them as a pronoun set for themself

[boneandbourbon]

i actually came across a lot of Strange posts today so here's your reminder that most pwNPD & pwASPD are not always completely uncaring, devoid of all emotions, and lacking in action like people would have you believe. yes, i've done bad things and hurt people. i can count on one hand the amount of people i truly care for. i can't experience empathy. but i also physically saved a life before i was 16. i'm going into the psych field because i want there to be more resources for people with personality disorders. i married the love of my life and we're going to have a family

we're people too

take that as you will

[boneandbourbon]

hello mrs. cognac,i has a question

narcissism=npd right? i saw a post saying that narcissism wasn't npd and im doubting myself

uhh i mean technically no. narcissism is a trait that anyone can have while npd is a diagnosis

narcissism as a trait is common and exists on a spectrum, might not impair functioning, isn't necessarily rigid, and can be temporary or situational. npd however is a clinical diagnosis, usually causes serious problems, is rigid and persistent in pattern, and is long-term

squares and rectangles basically. all pwnpd are narcissistic, but not all narcissistic people have npd

despite them being different, i'd still say it's not okay/ableist to describe someone else as narcissistic. the term is pretty loaded and weaponized. saying someone is narcissistic tends to imply that they're selfish, manipulative, toxic, uncaring about others, and incapable of change. those aren't neutral observations, they're negative character judgements

using the label "narcissistic" oversimplifies complex behavior and assumes intent without knowing the full context. narcissistic traits can come from a lot of places like cultural and social conditioning, insecurity and trauma, anxiety masked as perfectionism and self-focus, and even things like autism

calling someone narcissistic, even if they don't have npd, can still make others view them as disordered, spreads stigma about personality disorders and mental health as a whole, and is dismissive of someone's needs because you've decided their motives are selfish

the use of the word narcissistic in the wrong context also tends to stop meaningful dialogue, cause others to not listen to what the so-called narcissistic person has to say, puts them in a fixed box ("they'll never change"), and justifies cutting them off or punishing them without addressing the actual behaviors

the use of the word narcissistic also further stigmatizes pwnpd (already incredibly stigmatized) by reducing complex mental health issues to an insult or moral judgement. it paints us as inherently abusive and toxic, which spreads misinformation, discourages constructive dialogue, and makes it harder to get help or be understood

the bottom line is that while narcissism and npd are different, calling someone narcissistic (even if they're showing narcissistic traits) is not clinically accurate unless diagnosed, often a form of social shaming/isolation or moral judgement, and more likely to stigmatize than help anyone (including you)

[boneandbourbon]

I, too, feel the same way towards you and Carnis as the first anon! I think you guys would be great parents, coming from a person who has shitty parents. And if your kid(s) suffer because the world sucks, I like to think you both will be excellent at comforting them.

thank you!

[boneandbourbon]

I've been doing some research on intersex stuff and I've come across the term endosex to describe people who are not intersex. I've rarely seen it used other than the research i've done and I wanted to know what you think because I highly value your opinion!

haha thanks

i think endosex is an okay term. i personally default to perisex, just because that's the one i remember, and i also rarely see endosex or dyadic used so most people know perisex

[boneandbourbon]

yes!

"These pronouns are intersex exclusive due to a history as being used derogatorily towards intersex people..." (link)

"One of the earliest examples of shi/hir being used was in the mid-1990s, where it was used for 'hermaphrodite' characters on pornographic websites" (link)

and if you look up "shi hir intersex exclusive", you'll find more sites talking about it

Genuinely curious: Why are they intersex exclusive, if I may ask? You can delete this ask if you want to though. Sorry if you've been asked before

no worries :) they're intersex exclusive because they're a mix of she/her and he/him and they have a history of being used in the furry community for characters with stereotypical "hermaphrodite" traits (having both a penis and vagina, a penis and boobs, etc). they're often used derogatorily towards intersex individuals, so many of us reclaim them

this also extends to any variation of "herm" (hermaphrodite) and any pronouns that mix he and she, like hesh/herm, heshe/himher, hesh/hiser/himer, etc (obviously does not include he/she, just so my wording isn't misconstrued)

[boneandbourbon]

which tribe are you from?

-curious lil Odawa

omg hii. i'm diné ("navajo") and niitsitapi ("blackfoot")

:o)

[boneandbourbon]

Genuinely curious: Why are they intersex exclusive, if I may ask? You can delete this ask if you want to though. Sorry if you've been asked before

no worries :) they're intersex exclusive because they're a mix of she/her and he/him and they have a history of being used in the furry community for characters with stereotypical "hermaphrodite" traits (having both a penis and vagina, a penis and boobs, etc). they're often used derogatorily towards intersex individuals, so many of us reclaim them

this also extends to any variation of "herm" (hermaphrodite) and any pronouns that mix he and she, like hesh/herm, heshe/himher, hesh/hiser/himer, etc (obviously does not include he/she, just so my wording isn't misconstrued)

[boneandbourbon]

https://www.tumblr.com/boneandbourbon/790628089252151297/is-it-weirdparasocialwhatever-that-i-half-wish?source=share

i relate to this anon tbh i thought about sending an ask about this but my disorder ™ keeps convincing me people hate me (the reason why im too embarrassed to follow your acc)

i mean if it helps at all i dont hate you. i love all my followers and people who interact fr. without you all my blogs would be dead and boring. i even love the haters. we're all family here :)

[boneandbourbon]

Honestly kinda feel the anon about the parents thing. Y'all will be good parents if/when you guys get to that point. I wish my parents actually cared or believed in mental health issues as I was growing up :/

yeah retweet. thank you. i'm hoping that if nothing else, having also been raised in that way, it'll help lay a framework of how i Dont want to act towards my children

[boneandbourbon]

how do you pronounce shi/hir pronouns?

/genuine question

that's a good question. depends on personal preference. often they're said as shay/hare, shay/here, or the same as she/her. i personally am okay with any pronunciation

[boneandbourbon]

You’d love to be my broodmare 😒 anon’s talking shit

yeah but only you're allowed to call me that >:(

its okay let them keep writing fanfics of us. at least they're creative

[boneandbourbon]

Can I sniff your panties

man what the fuck. i needa get off this app