bones-of-tofu
bones-of-tofu
Tofu
851 posts
Everything slightly too queer for my friends to see | He/Him | 18
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
bones-of-tofu · 12 days ago
Text
26K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 13 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
jokingly made an au where kaji and sakura were actual brothers
2K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 13 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
wanted to doodle them
2K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 18 days ago
Text
can anyone tell me the watch order for every movie ever so i can understand all references and homages
43K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 18 days ago
Text
At the risk of sounding anti-intellectual, I think that college should be free and also not a requirement for employment outside of highly specialized career fields
166K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 22 days ago
Text
I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like he’s only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????
45K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 22 days ago
Text
59K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 29 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Artober day 6: Copy Cat Kakashi
9K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 29 days ago
Text
Let me tell you about one of my high school friends’ old Dungeons and Dragons PCs.
Olaf Olafson was your pretty straightforward Northman Barbarian type. Huge, strong, pale, red-haired and with a tremendous beard. What made Olaf special was the little things.
Despite living in a world with clerical magic, demons, and other powerful alignment-based Outsiders, Olaf was an atheist. This was because his people believed the last world had already ended and the gods went with it (basically post-Ragnarok). All that was left were ‘spirits’. Powerful spirits. Who could grant deific magic. But they weren’t gods, and you didn’t have to worship them- in fact you shouldn’t, because it would just inflate their already swollen egos.
Despite being an enormous, frightening, powerful man with dubious hygeine and a propensity for going literally berserk in combat, Olaf was a gentle fellow in towns and villages, had a deep fondness for small fluffy animals and children, and was a generous tipper.
Olaf liked to drink. Not mead, but wine. He liked to sip it. It made him feel ‘civilized’. He never drank it quickly enough to get drunk. His meals almost invariably consisted of “Wine. Meat. Cheese.” Which was what he would order in literally every tavern. They’d ask him to clarify, what sort of wine? What sort of meat? What sort of- Olaf would raise a hand and repeat, slowly, as if to a fool: “Wine. Meat. Cheese.” 
Olaf spoke broken common, more or less Hulk-speak, referred to himself in the third person almost exclusively, all that fun stuff. Then we had a story arc where I sent them up to Olaf’s homeland, where everyone spoke ‘Northman’ or whatever the hell I called it. While up there, he was incredibly fluent. Even poetic. “My brothers! I have returned from the decadent lands of the south, bearing riches and glory, and tales of great deeds!” The other players caught on and talked like a pack of movie Frankensteins, barely able to communicate in the foreign tongue.
For a long time, Olaf was the most financially stable member of the party. Because he bought a tavern in their home-base-town, hired the senior barmaid/waitress lady to be the manager, and funneled the profits back into the business. He kept his adventuring money and his tavern money separate, except when he would sometimes spend adventuring money to expand the tavern. 
 There’s not a lot to do in 3rd edition with skill ranks when you’re a barbarian, so eventually Olaf sank a point into Healing on a lark. A few sessions later, they captured an important enemy NPC, but he’d lost an arm in the fighting and was about to die. Their cleric had been captured and their NPC paladin wasn’t around, either. There was no magical healing available, and no one else had any ranks in healing. The dude was about to die, and take with him the knowledge of where their friends had been taken. Olaf- with a  single rank in Healing I remind you -offered to save his life in exchange for the location, and the guy agreed. Olaf then stuck a sword in the fire, said “Olaf see this once,” and cauterized the wound.
It worked, of course. I didn’t even make him roll. I was too busy trying not to piss myself laughing. “Olaf see this once.” Jesus Christ.
99K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 1 month ago
Text
baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents' hoards
66K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 1 month ago
Text
listen I ended up regretting saying anything about this on my old blog because people will interpret literally any and every statement maliciously on this hellsite but I want to start like. a helpline for people who are like “hey I pretty much only read YA but I’m like 22 now and don’t relate to teenagers as much, it’s such a shame that there are no fun books written for adults :(” because boy HOWDY are there some fun books for adults 
66K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 1 month ago
Text
do you ever draw something for yourself that’s so deliciously self-indulgent that you just sit there like
Tumblr media
[Image ID: 2 digital drawings of a short-haired person drawing on a tablet. In the first image they are looking at the screen and blushing pink. In the second image they are looking away from the screen and blushing more heavily, with the caption “…is this allowed?”. End ID]
89K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 2 months ago
Text
When I was early on in my transition I got in a Lyft, and the driver was this big country guy. I was a little nervous so I just sat quietly in the back.
After a moment he changed the music on his phone to what sounded like a Hatsune Miku song. Curiosity got the better of me, so I finally spoke up and said “is this Hatsune Miku?”
And he said “Yep. You looked uncomfortable, and I know Transgender women like Hatsune Miku, so I thought it might help.”
I think about that interaction a lot.
90K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 2 months ago
Text
"Aro/Ace person gets given a love potion" story but instead of them being immune or whatever, it DOES work, and they realize IMMEDIATELY that they've been fed a love potion because this feeling is so wrong and foreign but everyone keeps laughing off the idea of it being a love potion because "they were probably just a late bloomer" or "no, you just finally found the right person!" and it's just a horror story about how no one believes them even though they know, they KNOW this isn't right and they can't stand it.
34K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
I think it was Minato the one who found Kakashi after Sakumo's death
4K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 2 months ago
Photo
Tumblr media
Took a pic of the sunrise out my office window and the interior lights made some cool reflections
32K notes · View notes
bones-of-tofu · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Puts this old man in a situation
4K notes · View notes