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Reblog with your animal. It’s toucans for me

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tumblr is for putting your stuff somewhere that's not secret but also not for anyone particular to see so it's true neutral in a really nice way

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people trip me out when they say shit like “oh i miss being 10 years old and not having problems” like the fuck you mean you didn’t have problems

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"Yeah hold on, let me change out of my work clothes" [undoes a single button on my hawaiian shirt and nothing else]

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Everyone thinks the music i like is bad

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if your favorite cuss isn’t here but uses one of these as a base word, choose the base word (ex: for “shithead” then choose “shit). if your favorite cuss word is a combo of two or more these (ex: “fuckass”) then choose which of the component words you think really carries the bulk of the cussing power or humor

note: your favorite cuss doesn’t necessarily mean the cuss you employ most frequently. my favorite is “rat bastard” but it’s definitely not my most-used expletive.

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nobody on this site is ever ever EVER going to top running a blog dedicated entirely to posting cute pics of sweet old dogs in a shelter for a year and gradually becoming one of the most recognized blogs on the website, then without warning dropping “i just want to get dicked down again =/” with 0 explanation and abandoning the blog. not deleting it, not explaining anything, just leaving the whole thing as a monument. fucking flawless posting. literally the best of all time.

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Super Informative and accurate.

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The cure to anxiety is completing all the tasks you have to finish for the day early and doing them phenomenally and being physically perfect and on everyone’s good side preferably even their favorite.

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every time I mention how many days sober I am I appreciate people congratulating me and telling me to keep up the good work. it is nice. but I also wish that milestones in addiction recovery weren’t still so pinned to length of sobriety/abstinence

yeah yeah I’m 50 days sober who cares. how about the fact that, when I do drink, it tends to be nipped in the bud after two days nowadays instead of weeks or months? how about the fact that drinking has been condensed to a six pack because I’m at the end of my tether, instead of browning out every night? how about my friend who has decided to stop drinking alone, and is actually sticking to that? recovery doesn’t always look like sobriety and I wish it was more normal to talk about that. yknow. when addiction is normal to talk about at all

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Heinz EZ Squirt Ketchup (2000-2006)