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E’s mom is having a roughy day. In the span of 24 hours she has learned

1. Carbonara is not just Alfredo with bacon in it.

2. There is not even cream in it

3. There is not even BACON in it

4. Her son and I have sleepovers (we’re ADULTS)

5. Cat abortions are a thing

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I love how Centaurworld really said sometimes the only way to free yourself from an abusive ex is to fucking kill him

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There is a huge difference between drinking to get through an event without having a breakdown, drinking because you think you'll only enjoy an event/your friends will only enjoy your company if you're intoxicated, and drinking because you like the people you're with and think an event will be more fun if you all have slightly lowered inhibitions and act even more like yourselves.

And I wish more people who are staunchly against alcohol understood that in moderation, social lubricant can be good, and enable a lot of meaningful connections for those who struggle with social anxiety. There is a huge difference between dependence and responsible use.

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"Lol I just got acid on my face"

"No laughing about getting acid on your face"

"It wasn't that bad, it's not like it left tangible burns. Like I stood there for several seconds waiting to see if it was bad or not like 'hmmm seems ok. seems ok. Actually I need to get this off my skin immediately.' and then I got it off my skin immediately"

"NOT FUNNY"

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“I hope for E’s sake that your dad visits while he’s still out of town so he doesn’t have to deal with how crazy you get when your dad visits.”

“You think being out of the country gets him out of that? He has text. He has internet messaging. He’s ALREADY dealing with it.”

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My Chinese-born boss: (marveling that people are coming up with weird new names for their kids because he was watching the NFL draft and saw names like D’Andre and Devonte)

Me: *how do I politically correctly ask this man if he has met an African American before*

Like somehow all the black people he’s met have been African or Afro-Caribbean🤦🏼‍♀️

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How many times have I rewatched Hazbin Hotel and only just now realized that Adam's favorite food is ribs because God took a rib from him?

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So I don’t think E’s mom is aware of how much interaction E has had with my mom. Because she has made it her personal mission to wingman him to her. We had a dinner party for both families and she immediately started hyping him up to my mom. My mom already likes him and started hyping him up too.

This was not enough convincing though. Now she is conspiring for him to do GESTURES to impress her. She does not know I am aware of this conspiracy.

I am a Nice Girl™️ and Fit In Well and that is enough. He is a Nice Boy™️ and Fits In Well but that is NOT enough (it literally is) he has to IMPRESS them and she is going to MAKE SURE OF THIS

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Kinda bold of RFK to say autistic people will never fall in love while there is a MASSIVELY popular Netflix series documenting autistic people falling in love

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Given my current life plan, I think it is appropriate but also absolutely hilarious that my boyfriend’s mom is putting her bets and efforts on getting her first grandchild from her other son (single, gay).

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Had two students who were too tired from Ramadan (doing itikaf) for lab today (legitimate safety risk) and they offered to get a note from their imam (thankfully they explained that’s the Muslim equivalent of a pastor) verifying that it is Ramadan and all that involves.

And on one hand I’m not gonna make them get a note from a whole ass spiritual leader just to tell me something I can very easily google/have seen passively on the internet.

But on the other hand I wonder what that note would look like? I’ve never gotten a religious observance note before. Would there be an informational pamphlet?

Also who tf is demanding a religious observance note for Ramadan? Or any other major holiday of a common religion? I feel like if you need documentation of a holiday that is on the iPhone default holiday calendar you’re either stupid or purposely being difficult.

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This is for everyone, but particularly for women.

If you like an article of clothing, but you think it accentuates a part of you you don't like, or it doesn't fit the way it used to, or you think you can't pull it off, WEAR THE THING.

I went to a fancy event yesterday. I had one dress that would fit the vibe. I hadn't worn it in 6 years (when I was barely an adult). I'm bloated and hadn't shaved my legs in weeks and my bra was not doing its job well. I realized when telling my boyfriend what I was wearing that the dress would probably fit differently and I better try it on just in case it didn't fit at all.

One look in the mirror and I felt horrible about myself. I'm a completely different shape than I was 6 years ago (as happens when you become an adult) and all I saw was the parts of me I wish were smaller and the parts of me I wish were bigger. I was embarrassed to be showing up in this dress and felt like people were going to laugh at me behind my back for wearing such an unflattering dress. But it was less embarrassing than wearing something else.

The next day was very hectic. I had to work this event (fundraiser) because one of the planners had a family emergency. I already had a very busy day and was going to be late because I couldn't get off work early on two days notice. I literally changed and did my makeup in the car. So couldn't even get hyped up by preening. I was still wearing my sneakers for fuck sake.

I walked into the event, which was planned by a bunch of my friends for the orchestra we all play in, which I had been looking forward to before realizing how my dress fit, ready to do what I needed to do to help them and be done with it.

The first person who saw me gushed about how nice I looked, how well the dress was suited to both the occasion and me, and oohed and ahhed over how smooth my legs were m. And spoiler alert, so did everyone else. Maybe nobody noticed what I saw. Maybe they did notice but they don't share my dislike of certain parts of myself. All I know is that of the few thoughts anybody had to spare about the way I looked in a dress, none of them were as nasty as the ones I thought looking in the mirror.

So wear the thing! You're your own worst critic, people are nicer than you think!

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I’m hedging bets right now that Toph is still alive

This new Avatar TLA series has everything: the next Earth Avatar in the cycle, a long-lost twin, a post-apocalyptic setting, the four nations shattered into seven remaining havens for humanity, angry human and spirit antagonists, and consequences from the previous Avatar

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The tik tok cake drama made me want to make a vintage heart cake and I mean. For a carved cake with piping it’s not that hard…

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Jesus Christ that was long how long did it take us to have that exchange??? I feel like our space age predictions might be spot on though…

Also concept: Kyoshi lived like 200 years bc of an earth bending trick. Toph might still be alive in the reboot🤣

This new Avatar TLA series has everything: the next Earth Avatar in the cycle, a long-lost twin, a post-apocalyptic setting, the four nations shattered into seven remaining havens for humanity, angry human and spirit antagonists, and consequences from the previous Avatar

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“I just don’t understand. He weighs 10 lb more than me but I think we have basically the same body. See? Compare our bodies!”

“He’s an inch taller, and his shoulders and hips are slightly wider.”

“And maybe my bones are more dense?”

“No, those differences alone account for 10 lb. Also I’m pretty sure there’s a porno that starts like this.”