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[boring-ally]

How could you?

If I saw you I’d run up to you and hug you.

But then I would have to break away, because all the sweet nothings you’d tell me would fill my body up and I’d fly away.

What happened to you not being able to live without me?

Our connection was so strong. You took that from me.

You’d try and pretend you were different, but you were just like them but with a manipulative twist.

I would still hug you just to feel what I thought was true.

I wanted it to be true so bad.

I wonder if you ever think about me.

You’re unforgettable, I know you like the back of my hand.

You linger in my mind. Show yourself so I can be done with you once and for all.

You are not my safety.

You were a fairytale, but this one didn’t have a happy ending.

How could you?

I change my mind.

If I saw you I would pretend you didn’t exist just like how you did to me.

You let it all drift apart.

How could you?

You lied to me. You lied to me.

You hurt me.

How could you?

Was any of it even true?

Was I ever enough for you?

How could you.

I loved you.

I loved you.

I don’t need you.

And I never did. But how could you?

You knew I was broken. You added onto my pain.

How could you.

I just wanted to me sane.

How could you?

[boring-ally]

The saying a boy has to love the girl more for the relationship is true.

We love so carefully, scared to get hurt, and when we love someone so much we fall so deeply in love with them, and sometimes just get lost.

Lost in our own wonderland full of love.

But that usually comes to a dark end. Imagine going down a tunnel and you just see the grid patterns flash as you’re going by, the tunnel always comes to an end, just like when you love someone whole heartedly…. It happens so fast, you get lost, but it always comes to an end.

And the feeling you get from it, empty, numb. You don’t want to move, you have no appetite, no sense of anything except them.

After feeling like this not once but two too many times, you know.

I will always love with my whole heart, but I aim for the ones with the bigger hearts than mine

[boring-ally]

I always attract people without even trying, I know when someones thinking about me

[boring-ally]

Herbs to Avoid During Pregnancy

If you’re looking at this for a list of herbs to avoid while you’re pregnant, so as not to risk hurting the fetus and ensuing baby, then you should be avoiding these herbs if you’re trying to become pregnant too. Studies show that 30% to 50% of all fertilized eggs are lost before a pregnancy is actually established, and the woman never even knows about it. Of known pregnancies, 10% to 20% end in miscarriage. So, it’s important if you’re trying to have a baby, to do everything possible not to contribute to those numbers.

So, with no further ado, these are the herbs to avoid if you are now, or are trying to become pregnant.

Saw Palmetto

Goldenseal

Donq Quai (used in combination with other herbs to induce miscarriage)

Ephedra

Yohimbe

Pay D’Arco

Passion Flower

Black Cohosh (used in combination with other herbs to induce miscarriage)

Blue Cohosh (used in combination with other herbs to induce miscarriage)

Chamomile (roman)

Pennyroyal

Ginseng

Evening Primrose

Feverfew

Kava Kava

Aloe

Valerian

Rosemary (in amounts greater than normally found in food)

Yarrow

Licorice

Angelica (used in combination with other herbs to induce miscarriage)

Lovage

Mistletoe

Myrrh

Sage

Thyme (in amounts greater than normally found in food )

Tumeric

Motherwort

Also, while you (hopefully) don’t ever ingest known poisonous herbs, I’d also advise not handling them while pregnant as some things can be absorbed through your skin. Not a lot, but better safe than sorry. These are herbs that are listed by the USDA as Unsafe or Potentially Unsafe for use during pregnancy.

[boring-ally]

Blue eyed beauty.

Life is flashing before your eyes and now is the time to LIVE.

Don’t get lost in this big world.

[boring-ally]

Unwanted

Countless of people, still always the same thing.

I’m never enough for anyone.

It hurts to even try anymore.

I don’t know if I even believe in love anymore.

Everyone is better than me in every way.

Thats why everyone always leaves.

I will never find someone who loves me and wants to be with me.

They don’t exist.

And that’s all I’ve ever wanted was to be loved.

Wanted.

I’m not even a chapter in anyones book, but I could go on and on about so many.

It hurts to love.

And it hurts to even be here anymore.

I’m so tired.

The other kind of tired.

[boring-ally]

July by Noah Cyrus

[boring-ally]

I'm sorry the world is such a cruel place for a beautiful soul like yours.

You don't deserve to be at war in your own head.

You always care for others but never get as much in return. And I wanted to give you the whole world but it just isn't our time.

I don't know if we will ever get a chance to stop the world together or not, but even if that day never comes I will never stop loving you.

You are my love.

It hurts to know you are in pain, and you can't even live in your own thoughts. I wish I could take the pain away for you. If only...

Everyone hurts differently, and I don't know your hurt exactly.

I just pray God spares you, because I would be lost without you.

I have to love you from a distance because my love is too strong and overwhelming. Maybe it's blissful sometimes but it's too much for you right now.

I have never loved someone so purely and felt this way for someone. It is simplicity with complications. But I would never change anything about you.

I hope we get a chance to be together in this life time.

I will always and forever love you Jeter.

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“You’re not the person I fell in love with anymore.”

— k.b. // i don’t know you anymore

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“I never was the reason why, it was you all along. Doubted myself, built up insecurities that I never had before. Because I thought I was never enough. Now I know it was always the other way around.”

— k.b. // i was the one too good to be true

[boring-ally]

I hate me (b)

I have never loved someone so much who hated me with every ounce in their body.

I want to die.

My depression has sunk back into me.

I’m drowning.

And everyone around me sees it.

I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get up and go but it just is.

It’s not like he wants me.

He would be fine without me.

I’m nothing to him.

I’m worthless.

I feel like I’m just another body to this planet.

I mean nothing.

I hate feeling like this but it’s true.

I hate myself.

[boring-ally]

I just want to be happy. j.

I want to try with something new, but everything traces back to you.

I can’t trust anyone because I’m scared of my past.

And history has it’s way of repeating itself.

I know I deserve so much more, but for whatever reason I settle for what I think in my head I deserve.

I am too nice.

That’s what gets me hurt.

I am just a hopeless romantic person that gets taken advantage of, because I want to be loved so badly.

[boring-ally]

True Colors .j.

I told myself I wouldn’t write a poem about you, but you ly within all of my newer poems.

But this poem is about moving on from you.

You destroyed my thoughts about love, and potentially being in love.

Somedays I feel fine, other days I feel nothing at all.

Today was one of those days.

I sat in my car thinking, listening to music. Feeling nothing at all.

Some nights I ly awake thinking about how I might never make someone happy, and have someone fall in love with me. I get depressed thinking of it.

I ly awake thinking of why you treated me the way you did.

It was never my fault, it all traces back to you and how I guess I really never knew you.

I wish I could tell people everything you ever said to me so they could see both sides of who you are.

I wish everyone saw the real you.

I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with me. I treated you accordingly.

I have such a genuine personality, and a kind heart. I showed you my scars, and let you in. You knew what you were doing the whole time.

Here’s to my mistake for ever giving you a chance.

But I have found myself, and I promise myself to never get that close to someone ever again without being as close to them as they are to me.

Because I never knew you, you finally showed your true colors.

[boring-ally]

Here’s to you

Did you really know me? .j.

Because I didn’t even know myself. I still don’t, I was close to knowing her but then she ran away.

Here’s what you all have been waiting for. To all the ones who hate me. To the ones who wanted to see me fail. To the boys who broke my heart. Here’s to you.

[boring-ally]

You took the last bit of trust I had in me.

I needed you.

You left me.

You never needed me as much as I needed you.

And you knew that.

I felt so powerless.

My whole world was gone, and you took it all.

You knew what you were capable of doing.

I didn’t want to breathe after you left me.

I layed in bed thinking about how much I hated myself.

After what had happened to me, you decided it was too much for you so you left.

And that’s how I truly know you never cared for me like you said you did.

And I hate you for that.

Hearing your voice the other day made me cry. Not because I missed you.

Because I was afraid of you.

I was scared of the person who you’ve become.

I don’t know him.

You are my worst nightmare.

You are the person who has turned my dreams into a dark place.

.j.

[boring-ally]

People like you .j.

People like you are the reasons why I am at war in my head of whether it’s worth living or not. Because people like you destroyed me. And made me weak.

People like you are why I am the way I am and that I can never change.

People like you told me sweetnothings, beautiful lies. People like you are always sorry, but sorry is never good enough to me.

Because you aren’t really sorry. And apologies mean nothing to me because I’ve heard them so many God damn times that, that word is over-used.

Don’t tell me you’re sorry. Tell my friends you are sorry for hurting me because they are the ones who have to pick me up.

Tell my mom you are sorry when I lay in bed crying and can’t get out because of how bad it hurts.

And tell God you are sorry, because I prayed for you over and over again just to keep getting let down.

[boring-ally]

Why can’t i be normal?

do you ever feel like your heart is beating out of your chest and the whole entire world is out to get you.

i feel like no one understands how I feel and I hate talking to people because no one gets it and everyone thinks I’m just no help.

this feels never ending.

everything i do is a mess. everyone i meet thinks i’m a mess. i don’t know who i even am anymore.

i’m tied in between two lives. one that i should be living and the one that i live in now.

i just want to scream and cry and hug my knees.

i just want this to stop. this, feeling.

feeling like this all of the time i’m so tired of feeling like this.

i honestly thought i was happy for once and then everything came and destructed it.

everyone always says “it will be okay” or “it will get better” WHEN. when does this end. when do i get to catch a breath.

why does this happen to me. and why do i have to face all of this alone.

why can’t i be normal.