borntobemuslim

[borntobemuslim]

Eid Mubarak y’all ! May Allah accept our deeds 🤲

[borntobemuslim]

Ramadan Mubarak tumblr!

[borntobemuslim]

Took one huge step towards Allah on February 8th.

A step I should have taken one year ago.

[borntobemuslim]

10 years ago.. where has the time gone?

Listening to Qur'an =nostalgic

[borntobemuslim]

There has be some kind of explanation to why mothers are so harsh to their daughters and soft with their sons.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

[borntobemuslim]

I did it. I finally did it.

[borntobemuslim]

I haven’t felt like this in a very long time alhamdulilla,h but the jealousy I used to feel towards my younger sister is back.

She’s always receiving the compliments from left, right and centre everywhere we go.

She doesn’t even have to try to be beautiful, she just naturally is. Allah swt has blessed her with these stunning natural long and thick eyelashes. You would think it’s fake and wouldn’t believe her when she tells you it’s not.

She has a very natural beautiful physique. Has curves all in the right places.

She has the most symmetrical face. Soft feminine features. Has natural blush.

She’s got the kind of beauty that my mother is worried about. She never had to worry about me. She’s going to receive proposals the second she graduates highschool my mother says. Already when we go out, my sister has mothers asking about her for their sons. All their eyes look past me and just stare at her. 10 years older than her and I’ve never had a proposal.

I’ve so unbelievably jealous of her. So jealous that I’m angry at her. I can be so mean to her sometimes. It’s not her fault.

[borntobemuslim]

hey i hope you are doing okay and i am really glad you realise the outcome of your situation and honestly it was Allah who saved you. Wallahi you will get better than ever. just submit to Allah and i swear all this feelings, stalking him and thinking about him will go away. I promise you that. just repent from your heart and cry to Allah, make dua and it will get better even if your life goes up and down, the contentment you’ll feel everyday will make you stronger. there is someone who is written for you, and if it’s not in this dunya then it’s in jannah. but your name is written. just know this, Allah wouldn’t have saved you if Allah didn’t love you. Allah loves you, he wants you back and so just be patient. (and patience doesn’t mean don’t cry or rant to Allah, do that please, this will ease your heart which alll the feelings and the words you couldn’t say to that person but know this it’s for your own good). There will be Khair for you. yeah🩵🩵🩵

After receiving this message, I took a break from tumblr. It’s been a few months.

Not once did this not cross my mind or my heart. Your words Whixh Allah sett has sent you to tell me made me cry…

It broke my heart, yet restored it at the same time.

The heart is weak. We get attached to things that don’t belong to us.. He was the only person to make me feel this way. No one has made me feel those feelings..ever..

I ask Allah swt to forgive us all..

I ask Him swt to bless you for your words. For Him to protect you from all harms. 🌹🌹

I hope you get the chance to read this response. Wallahi I love you for the sake of Allah.. may Allah swt bless you in every way possible. As I said, your words were God sent. 🌹🌹🌹

[borntobemuslim]

Eid Mubarak tumblr friends 🫶

[borntobemuslim]

Allah swt gives us many signs. Some signs come in our dreams. I believe the dream I had last night was a sign from Allah.

A sign showing how things could of ended up if it kept on going that way. Down a path that would of lead to complete haram. What was once a few innocent text messages to asking to meet up and lengthy confessions of feelings. And trying to hide this from everyone.

Then my family finding out. The displeasure of my mother. Her disbelief and disappointment shown in my dream. Her angry tears being the main focus of my dream.

I ask Allah swt to give me strength and to keep me away from haram.

I’m not happy with myself.

[borntobemuslim]

I stopped checking to see if you are online. It was hard. The temptation was real but I got there.

Saw you after 2 months & none of those feelings exist anymore. Bittersweet. I thoroughly enjoyed liking you. Was something exciting and foreign. I miss liking you.. I miss the feeling of excitement, I miss looking forward to seeing you, and I miss the way you used to make me feel.

But I thoroughly enjoy making Allah swt happy 10 times more, I missed pleasing Allah, I missed the feeling of asking for forgiveness, I missed looking forward to praying, & I missed the way I used to feel before meeting you.

Since leaving that job, not a day goes by where I don’t think of you..

The first month was challenging. The first week was hell. The second was okay, the third I forgot your voice and the forth week was okay.

But 2 months out, and I still think of you. Still make dua for you..

I’m not sure when I’ll forget you, I hope I don’t but I hope I do..

[borntobemuslim]

When am I going to stop checking if you are online?

[borntobemuslim]

Ramadan Mubarak 💚🌙

[borntobemuslim]

I ask Allah swt to forgive me. I need to feel forgiven because this feeling inside me makes me so sad.

[borntobemuslim]

I find it so crazy how you could be going through the biggest war with yourself and your family has no idea. zero idea.

They don’t know how hard is it to act like everything is okay. To not let anything slip.

Any moment you get to yourself is a moment to let some emotions show. Just a few seconds.

[borntobemuslim]

Something better is written for me, I promise

[borntobemuslim]

Im going to miss him so much but I ask Allah swt to keep me away from haram.

Having a colleague who is a older man and who always flirts with you is difficult. This man is also married and has children.

Being the only one out of the two trying to keep things professional is difficult. Trying your hardest to not let shaytan get to you, and engage in banter is difficult. Wallahi it is.

Shaytan makes these conversations so easy. It brings out a connection between us. A connection I never felt. Its foreign and exciting.

It’s dangerous.

I’ve come to realise the dangers of the road I was taking for the past 2 years. This road took 2 years to get to this point. It took 2 years to blur the lines of professionalism.

Shaytan works slow. Not overnight. 2 years, not overnight.

I thank Allah swt for making me realise where I was heading. Alhamdulillah I’m trying to keep it professional and halal. But it’s hard. Oh Allah!

I ask for your strength and mercy Ya Rab. You know how temped I am to engege in these conversations but my love for you, Allah, is stopping me. My fear of your angry and fear of your displeasure.

Allah, please Allah keep me on the straight path