bossboo

[bossboo]

being a scavenger animal must be so fucking great. imagine if every time someone died a new restaurant opened up downtown.

[bossboo]

[very clearly enamored AND elated] He fucking bit me.

[bossboo]

i love, therefore i bite

[bossboo]

That’s it. That’s the show.

[bossboo]

truly the most american thing is Big Drink. more than late stage capitalism, more than an unparalleled cultural focus on individualism, more than 9/11 jokes

what binds all americans together culturally is Big Drink

and you might be saying "is this fat shaming" or "but mayor bloomberg outlawed Big Drink in nyc" or "gays are so annoying about their iced coffee" or some other dumb comment but no open your minds, Big Drink isn't just sugary or caffeinated beverages

every day i see one of you hydration bitches (affectionate) on the train with a water bottle so big a toddler could drown in it. that too is Big Drink. we literally invented a bigger beer can (tall boy) in wisconsin in the 60s in the service of Big Drink

anyway i never feel more american then when i have Big Drink in my hands

[bossboo]

Do you think they would have beef over the costumes?

Bonus: an unexpected triumvirate for a night

based on these images

[bossboo]

Just got beheaded ahh feels so much better

[bossboo]

the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier

[bossboo]

very much a fan of this post so i felt compelled to make my own. print it out and give it to your coworkers or hang it in your cubicle and go "don't make me tap the sign"

[bossboo]

I think I would have really thrived as a Nantucket whaler’s wife…..I’m a professional yearner with a low sex drive, I love to be alone and have my space…..an intense emotional affair with another whaler’s wife while our husbands are at sea could have easily sustained me for decades

[bossboo]

have you guys heard of noodles? that shit is thick or thin depending

[bossboo]

my husband has this image saved for whenever i grow distant

[bossboo]

scraps. oil painting on linen

[bossboo]

we need to be doing everything in our power to acquire and consume tiramisu

[bossboo]

happy pride month to the fuck tree I guess

[bossboo]

[bossboo]

Yeah, the doctors ran some blood work and discovered I was actually the Thing all along. No, I don't know if my insurance will cover it