botanybotches-blog
BotanyBotches
In all fairness, can the poor plants even say their own names?
11 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
Conversation
Mediterranean Terroir in a 4" Pot
Customer: Do you have a lemon veranda?
Employee: Lemon verbena?
Customer: Maybe? It tastes like lemons...
0 notes
Quote
Do you accept other people's coupons?
The Shopping Virgin
0 notes
Conversation
Buggles, Puggles, Muggles...You Know.
Customer: I'm looking for a plant...I think it's called buggle-something?
Me: Bugle? Like bugleweed?
C: No, I don't think so. It has chocolate in the name. It has dark leaves.
M: Bugleweed has purplish leaves and there's a variety called 'Chocolate Chip.' It's a groundcover.
C: No, this is really big. It has lots of leaves shaped like this (makes the shape of a hosta with his hands), and then it has a flower spike of lavender flowers.
M: I can't think of anything with hosta leaves that--
C: --It doesn't look anything like a hosta! It has lacy leaves.
M: Oh. Right. Sounds more like an Actea to me.
C: No, it's definitely starts with buggle-something.
M: How about you google it with your iPhone?
C: ...Oh my god, that's it. ...BUGBANE!
0 notes
Quote
It smells glorious in here! Are those dafeens?
Customer with a nose and a British subconscious.
0 notes
Conversation
The Birds and the Bees and the Tulips
Employee: Daffodils are another great option for spring color.
Customer: They sure are. Do you have anything else?
E: Well, you could always do tulips.
C: Yeah, but tulips tend to blow their wad kind of quickly, though, don't they?
0 notes
Quote
Is that Sarahcocka? No thanks. I already have a lot of that at home.
Customer looking for shade shrubberies.
0 notes
Quote
LuhVAHtuhruh! I love Luhvahtuhruh!
Lady customer in the perennials.
1 note
·
View note
Conversation
Is that a Beluga Relative?
Customer: I'm looking for this plant.
(Holds out piece of paper, upon which is written "PHLGA")
Me: Uh, that's a lot of consonants.
C: It's pronounced "FLOO-GAH," I think.
M: I've never heard of it. Is it a shrub?
C: Sort of. I call it the Cousin It plant, cause it looks like Cousin It.
M: Okayyy... (Espies fellow employee.) Hey ____, can you think of a shrub that looks like Cousin It?
C: I have the name written down here.
Employee: Ful...guh?
C: It's also called a whipcord.
E: Oh. A Thuja. It's called a Thuja.
0 notes
Quote
Shoot, I forgot my black pussy!
A customer walking toward the cashier. #BlackPussyWillow #SalixGracilistyla
0 notes
Conversation
Perv Alert
Customer: Do you have chlamydia?
Employee: What?
C: Chlamydia? I think it's a vine.
E: Clematis?
C: Yes!
0 notes
Conversation
Witch Hunt
Customer: Do you have warts?
Me: (not sure whether to be offended) ...uh...
C: I think my landscaper said St. John's?
M: Oh, worts!
0 notes