bouncingbluebeast

[bouncingbluebeast]

What products do you use on your fur? Hair and fur are technically the same thing, however there are different types of hair textures, does that apply to your fur?

Also I hope you have a good day!

"Why, thank you! I hope you do as well. As for your question..."

"Depending on the season, de-shedding shampoo and a conditioner are a necessity to avoid tracking hair across campus. Usually I opt for a neutral apple-scent or some lavender if I'm feeling particularly gregarious.

My 'hair' on my head does seem to function slightly differently to my general coat, perhaps due to a mutation between my vellus and terminal follicles - hence why you see some darker colorations where typical hair might be on a human or a homogeneous mutant.

But yes, to answer your initial question without sounding like an infomercial you can get for 49.99 - fur and de-shedding shampoo for my body, moisturizing shampoo for thick hair (often coconut or avocado mix), conditioners, and then the brushing and scrubbing accoutrement for a thorough washing.

...I do wonder if I could arrange some sort of "Beast Wash" station like a car wash when I'm in a hurry. Wallace and Gromit make it look so whimsical, and I synthesise my own shampoos anyway...hm! You've given me something to ponder, viewer. If you'll excuse me."

[bouncingbluebeast]

Do you have a favorite subject to teach?

"There are so many I enjoy learning and sharing, though I suppose there are general patterns with today's youth on the ones they truly enjoy being taught."

He strokes his furry beard for a moment in thought, then responds,

"Literature, Chemistry and Engineering. I enjoy teaching subjects that get students thinking, or allow me to plan some kind of fun engagement as a learning aid-"

Hanks mind flashes back to the sound of sirens and the spraying of water over a burning plot of ground. Students on their phones, or watching in horror/fascination as a chemical monstrosity is soon extinguished.

"...As long as the fire department doesn't have to be involved. I'm afraid a pole dance can only be so charming when negligible arson is on the table..."

[bouncingbluebeast]

So Hank. Have you ever attended any fur cons and furry parties before?

"Oh yes! Kurt has gone to a few furry parties and called them magnificent, and - apparently - people had asked about me as well!

Naturally, Kurt asked if I would come to the next convention he went to, which I had no complaints; I'm an old-generation trekkie, after all!"

Hank chuckles to himself and shakes his head,

"Imagine my surprise when I see a convention center, wall-to-wall with a veritable sea of fur and scales and hide! So many shapes and sizes, and I was um...much MUCH more popular than I'd expected. People wanted pictures with me, they wanted to have hugs. I suspected Kurt was enjoying this a little too much..."

"And then the fabled room parties. Everyone was quite responsible (though I carried quick tests for anyone who may need them). Aside from the...lax dress code...there was an unusual surplus of food in the hotel room.

I was almost fully relegated to a seat of honour on a king-sized bed while the festivities continued. A harem of hands exploring me, a feasting of foods fed to me, it was- ahem. A good time for my first 'room party'. I was almost overcome, seeing myself featured in such a desirable position."

[bouncingbluebeast]

Has anyone pranked you recently?

By like targeting anything you have?

By like messing with labcoats, fur, equipment, food, etc.

Just wondering.

"I...can't say they have, no."

His eyebrow raises a centimeter, glancing over his sleeves while making an effort not to show paranoia over the possibility.

He smooths out his fur, checks all the settings on his equipment, even viewing security cameras to see if there were any visitors.

"Well, it would make for an interesting day - what's life without a sense of humor?"

SPLAT

...Ah. Banana cream. Custard filling. A tad low-brow, if one could rank comedy. But the flavour is quite rich, with excellently-timed delivery.

"Now would you know about any recent pranks or tamperings? Just wondering."

[bouncingbluebeast]

Mr Mccoy, doesn't the idea of absolute sloth interest you? Giving into base urges and doing nothing but eating all day long

Hank looks surprised at the question, before looking around and clearing his throat, shifting one leg over the other as he read through some of his experiment reports,

"...I cannot say the thought had ever crossed my mind.

Ah, but it would be a mere intrusion on my thought processes, a misfiring of synapses...a-a flight of fancy amidst the myriad scenarios I prepare...'prepare'? No, no u-um...preclude! That's the word. That I'd preclude from possibility."

He doesn't say how he imagines laying in a custom bed, as a bed for his beloved boyfriends.

He doesn't say how he's occasionally fed by all of them, fondled and teased with words of encouragement. How he'd stifle belches from being stuffed full of his favourite foods until he couldn't hold back anymore.

He doesn't say how even his beastly endowments are buried under bounties of blubber, or how he'd finally give up his ability to top after an earnest attempt.

He doesn't say how he'd waddle everywhere, every furry fold he'd wash in an industrial shower or the sheer volume of fabric needed to cover him for public engagements.

He doesn't mention how he'd turn his laboratory into a lair for lazy gluttony - conducting experiments while he snacked or played simulations or watched videos.

Why would he need to say anything? The thought hadn't crossed his mind, after all.

[bouncingbluebeast]

You seem like you'd make such a sweet father figure, have you ever thought about having kids?

"Ha-HA!"

The laughter was a bit too loud and a bit too sharp all at once, and so he clears his throat and blushes a bit.

"Forgive me, it's been a while since someone asked me that genuinely rather than-ahem, anyway..."

"The thought had crossed my mind at different points in my life, yes. I suppose I always stop myself when I think about the concern of care.

'Would I be a good father?', 'Would my work get in the way?', 'Whom would I even raise a child with?'

Bobby is...perhaps not the parenting type - even if he enjoys calling me one.

Simon had similar hang-ups as I, the boys-about-town we were. Still, at least he has experience playing a father in movies (albeit with much more gravelly tones and explosions).

Kurt is an absolute delight with children. And yet...he's so free and happy more than he's ever been - I couldn't ask him to give that up.

Then of course there's little Nathan and Hope...not to mention Anna and Remy's little one on the way. I feel so happy to see them all have a future. I'd be delighted to share some of my old VHS tapes of cartoons for the kids to watch, or perhaps help with their education?"

He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly,

"I suppose even if I am...intimidated by the prospect of being a proper father, I'd still like to be a good uncle or godfather."

[bouncingbluebeast]

Dumb question to ask, but do you still lift like ten tons?

"No such thing as a dumb question, friend!"

"I believe it shifted a tad above ten tons, since my body also needed to compensate for carrying my extra weight.

Admittedly, I don't think my stamina would be the same for prolonged lifting, but I can manage 15 tons on a good day!"

[bouncingbluebeast]

Dumb question to ask, but do you still lift like ten tons?

"No such thing as a dumb question, friend!"

"I believe it shifted a tad above ten tons, since my body also needed to compensate for carrying my extra weight.

Admittedly, I don't think my stamina would be the same for prolonged lifting, but I can manage 15 tons on a good day!"

[bouncingbluebeast]

Hank McCoy

For: @goat-bones

[bouncingbluebeast]

Hank McCoy Tramp Stamps?

Hank McCoy tramp stamps

((I was discussing earlier with a dear compatriot of what kind of tramp stamp he might've gotten while he was younger as a lark.

Either self-referential to his introductions, or a raunchy reference to one of his favourite authors:

Runner up ideas were "As You Like It", "The Expense of Spirit" (Shakespeare) and "If it's Worth Doing, It's Worth Doing Well" (Oscar Wilde)

Enjoy the slutty Hank headcanons!))

[bouncingbluebeast]

Your fur is always so soft and fluffy looking, what's your haircare routine like?

"Why thank you! It certainly pays to buy shampoo in bulk, I'll tell you that much.

In terms of routine, I suppose I'd best describe it as a half-day endeavour - usually at least twice a week. (Sometimes more if we were in a particularly nasty biome or against some sort of viscera)

First, I go for a full body wash with some fur shampoo. I enjoy some light scents, though I tend to avoid anything too fragrant. Then comes the rinse. Usually I go back and forth between lather and rinse three times to ensure I'm thorough.

For my head, face and shoulders, I add some conditioner to give it that volume and sheen.

Perhaps the most tedious part is the drying off, simply because of all the fur. I've attempted blowdrying, though that ends in...ahem...amusing results. And so I usually towel off and dry in my bathrobe.

Then, if I'm feeling daring, I do a little beard trim and a dab of cologne.

The first step to looking your best is to feel your best!"

[bouncingbluebeast]

Howdy Hank! I'm loving your plumper look and I was wondering how your change in appearance has impacted your romantic encounters. Have you had any new admirers since gaining weight and has gaining led to new opportunities with your romantic partners?

"Oh boy, has it!"

Hank seems a little sheepish for a moment, rubbing his thick neck in recollection,

"Well, you can imagine the initial scandal of the tabloids posting headlines about 'The Bouncing Blue Blubber'. Trish seemed to have fun with that one....Anyway, going out to my usual stomping grounds went from challenging to impossible.

That being said...perhaps I didn't know where to look. Bobby and Morph were kind enough to invite me out on 'Bear Night' at a bar they liked.

I was blindsided by the attention after months of cold shoulders and turned noses. Imagine a fat furry professor being fondled and flirted with by a whole room of men. While the festivities were delightful, it didn't have the deeper connection I'd come to appreciate.

Then I'd received confessions from three of my dear friends over the course of as many years.

First there was Kurt Wagner; as bold and tender as ever, seizing the initiative gambit during our bi-weekly laser obstacle chess game. I'd been trying to shed some 'winter weight' at the time and he'd...been very direct about how much he cared for me at any size. I suppose that was the start of it...and around the time I'd discovered my new mutation surfacing.

Then came along Simon Williams. We'd been away for so long - and yet one drink after nearly a decade - it was like we were right back where we were...he'd fallen out of the press' favour due to old skeletons dug back up, I'd fallen further from my tenuous grace with my rounded reputation - it was refreshing to get close with someone else and not care what anyone thought. A best friend really can help you take on the world.

Finally, there was Bobby Drake. My brother-in-arms from the early days...he'd been over in Los Angeles sorting his own things out, and I could hardly blame him. And wouldn't you know it? He was incredulous when he'd found out I was not only bi but dating TWO men. The look on his face when I'd asked if he'd like to be the third...I think he thawed out of that chilly isolation after that. I was always the one he'd come to when he needed cheering up~

Of course, Kurt is ever the beating-heart romantic with his emotional cactus, Wolverine. Logan doesn't like to admit it but I've caught him more than once staring at my form. I'm more than happy to include our common curmudgeon in our cuddle-time..."

[bouncingbluebeast]

Your fur is always so soft and fluffy looking, what's your haircare routine like?

"Why thank you! It certainly pays to buy shampoo in bulk, I'll tell you that much.

In terms of routine, I suppose I'd best describe it as a half-day endeavour - usually at least twice a week. (Sometimes more if we were in a particularly nasty biome or against some sort of viscera)

First, I go for a full body wash with some fur shampoo. I enjoy some light scents, though I tend to avoid anything too fragrant. Then comes the rinse. Usually I go back and forth between lather and rinse three times to ensure I'm thorough.

For my head, face and shoulders, I add some conditioner to give it that volume and sheen.

Perhaps the most tedious part is the drying off, simply because of all the fur. I've attempted blowdrying, though that ends in...ahem...amusing results. And so I usually towel off and dry in my bathrobe.

Then, if I'm feeling daring, I do a little beard trim and a dab of cologne.

The first step to looking your best is to feel your best!"

[bouncingbluebeast]

Your fur is always so soft and fluffy looking, what's your haircare routine like?

"Why thank you! It certainly pays to buy shampoo in bulk, I'll tell you that much.

In terms of routine, I suppose I'd best describe it as a half-day endeavour - usually at least twice a week. (Sometimes more if we were in a particularly nasty biome or against some sort of viscera)

First, I go for a full body wash with some fur shampoo. I enjoy some light scents, though I tend to avoid anything too fragrant. Then comes the rinse. Usually I go back and forth between lather and rinse three times to ensure I'm thorough.

For my head, face and shoulders, I add some conditioner to give it that volume and sheen.

Perhaps the most tedious part is the drying off, simply because of all the fur. I've attempted blowdrying, though that ends in...ahem...amusing results. And so I usually towel off and dry in my bathrobe.

Then, if I'm feeling daring, I do a little beard trim and a dab of cologne.

The first step to looking your best is to feel your best!"

[bouncingbluebeast]

((Hemming and Hawwing over Hellfire Gala Hank))

((After doing some research - and reading @positivelybeastly's immaculate takes on Hank's fashion sense, I've started to take a stab at potential outfits with some themes in mind:

Scientist (Labcoat/flowing coat/robes)

Animal mutation (Tiger/Leopard print patterning on shirt and open chested style)

Acrobatic (Thigh shorts or flowy pants)

Bright yellow (referencing 70s fashion he grew up in with colours that pop on blue fur)

Hope to iron this out more soon!))

[bouncingbluebeast]

Are you a soda enjoyer or do you prefer coffee or tea more?

"Ah - a matter of occasion and purpose, dear viewer!

The palate acquired through a caffeine dependency - especially one as severe as those who are absorbed in their work - leaves little room for coffee to be 'enjoyed', as it were..."

He raises a finger, as if to argue against his own point:

"Now, the fragrance of a fine roasted coffee blend that presents itself as an art rather than a fuel? Marvelous!"

Hank sips at a coffee, grimacing before smacking his lips with his face scrunched.

"Alas, tis not the case with a Beast's regular brew. Regrettably, it is a beverage I go to out for business rather than pleasure. Now if we were to talk of enjoyment-"

He bounces over to a classic style Big Chill refrigerator with cyan paint and chrome trim, wiggling his eyebrows as he opens his vault:

"I make a point of finding artisanal pops for the best floats, or if I'd like something refreshing in a chilled glass...root beer, a nice cola, a cherry-lime pop or a cream soda if the fancy strikes me. There's nothing wrong with a regular can, mind you - but there's something so nostalgic about glass pop bottles, almost like it enriches the flavor."

Hank quickly flicks a cap off with a claw and takes a swig of a cola, letting out a hearty little belch with a blush.

"BUARP - Oof, beg pardon! Now for relaxation, I do have a plethora of tea I enjoy - herbals for a nice nightcap or detox, black and green for a late night of reading. Now I'm a sucker for a good old-fashioned earl grey, but I do think the right floral blend can also be quite lovely paired with some cake or pastry."

The professor pushes up his glasses after pontificating, "Well, hopefully that answers that! I appreciate a thorough answer for a thorough question."

[bouncingbluebeast]

Hank McCoy Tramp Stamps?

Hank McCoy tramp stamps

((I was discussing earlier with a dear compatriot of what kind of tramp stamp he might've gotten while he was younger as a lark.

Either self-referential to his introductions, or a raunchy reference to one of his favourite authors:

Runner up ideas were "As You Like It", "The Expense of Spirit" (Shakespeare) and "If it's Worth Doing, It's Worth Doing Well" (Oscar Wilde)

Enjoy the slutty Hank headcanons!))