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A Day That Never Comes

You should be dead, you should have died a year ago. The number 34 shines on the monolith as a sick reminder - you should be dead.

You're special, that's what all parents tell their kids. You didn't actually believe it though, not until you survived the impossible.

You should have gommaged at 34, but you're still here. You're shunned and outcast, some people blame you for everything, others think you’re cursed. Why out of all the people in Lumière did the paintress choose to save you?

The only way you can think to make people happy and get answers is to join expedition 33, at least death will find you there

Chapter 1 - The Second Gommage

WC: 4.2k CW: Death, mentions death, description of scars, description of past assault, mourning, greif.

Enjoy <3

You should be dead, you should have died a year ago.

The number 34 shines on the monolith as a sick reminder - you should be dead. Everyone dies, there has never - in the history of Lumière - been someone that survived the Gommage, it’s an inevitability. You wonder what you’ve done to deserve a life worse than death.

People look at you with disgust in their eyes. Why did you survive but not their friends, parents, brothers and sisters? You wish you were used to it but it still makes you feel uncomfortable whenever you have to leave your flat.

It’s the staring that gets you more than the talking, at least you’re pretty much heard everything people say about you. Most people avoid you, it’s the people who stare at you with angry eyes that makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck.

You look down at the inside of your arm. There’s a scar, it’s only a few months old, it’s still red and pink, the skin distorted from the attack. You carved Croma over it in a pointless attempt to try and hide it. You deserve it really, that’s what you keep telling yourself. The only person who tells you otherwise is your brother and he’s supposed to do that he’s your only family left.

You move away from the window and pick up your armband. Expedition 33, you never planned on joining an Expedition, maybe it was out of selfishness, no one comes back from them and you were too selfish to give your life.

In reality it was probably fear, the fear of not really knowing what was out there. The fear of not knowing how painful death would be. You were always a selfish person, you remember fighting with your brother, your parents, even when you know how little time you all had together.

You look at the only family photo you have with your family. It was taken a week before your mother Gommaged, your father was a year later. You miss them, they would know what to say, what to do.

There’s a knock at your door a second later your brother walks in.

“Happy Gommage!” He calls with two bottles of beer in his hands. He makes you smile as he comes over and throws his arms around you. You hug him back as tight as you can. This could be the last ever time you hold him like this.

“It’s not happy.” You say, he breaks from the hug going into your kitchen.

“Are you joking!” He calls looking through your cutlery drawer for a bottle opener. “From this day on I never have to work for Samuel and his stinky fish ever again.”

“You could have quit.” You remind him. He turns back, opening the beers and handing one to you.

“And what? Joined an Expedition, pff.” He says taking a swig of his beer. You follow him as his eyes look over you. You dressed in your expedition uniform, it will most likely be the last thing you ever wear.

“You look good.” He says, his voice more sombre now as he lowers the beer. You smile quickly and look down at the band in your hand, you run your thumb over the golden 33.

“You don’t have to do this.” He says. You look back up at him, you know that but what choice do you have? Live here and watch everyone slowly die until you’re the only person left. You’ve already spent a year arguing with your brother about this.

“Maybe I’ll survive and I’ll find some answers.” You say looking up at him sympathetically. He sighs, taking another swig of his beer.

“I hate knowing you’re leaving-” He sighs again. “Whatever fucked up thing happened to you - if it’s the Paintress - or some other power maybe Esquie? I don’t know.” He shakes his head, it’s like he’s not sure what to say.

“You have something no one else has.” He reaches out to grab your hand with the armband. “A life, you have a life.”

“So do you.” You say.

“No, not now I don’t.” He says squeezing your hand. “I hate the thought of you throwing away your gift.”

“It’s not a gift.” You say pulling your hand out his and turning away. You feel tears form in your eyes. You take a long drink of the beer blinking them away.

“It’s not a curse though.” He says, you sigh and turn back to him.

“I don’t want to fight. Not today.” You say. He nods and comes over to you, putting his beer down on the table. You turn to look at him and he takes your armband out your hand.

“Maman and papa would be proud.” He says as he pulls it up resting it on the top of your arm. His hand lingers as he looks at it. You know it’s a lie, but what else is he supposed to say? Besides you should be the one comforting him, he’s the one who’s going to die today.

“Kick some Nervon ass yeah?” He says going to pick his drink back up again. You nod and smile at him, before he gets a chance to move you throw your arms around him again.

“I love you.” You say choking on a sob.

“Hey, what’s the rule?”

“No crying.” You say squeezing him tighter, swallowing the tears. He sighs holding you tight for a few seconds. Neither of you say anything, you never expected to see your brother Gommage, you always knew you would go before him. Now you’re going to walk down to the dock with him and watch him vanish just like your parents.

Just like everyone other than you.

“Come on.” He says breaking from the hug. “We should go before it’s too late.”

“Hold on.” You say stopping him and going back over to the windowsill. You pick up the red flower you picked out for him. You walk over to him and pin it on the lapel of his red and white suit.

“There, perfect.” You nod, he smiles then turns to leave. You don’t bother locking the door to your flat, you already dropped your bags off at the ship this morning. Tomorrow this will be someone else’s flat.

Or maybe people will think it’s cursed like you and it’ll stay empty.

Someone is calling your brother over as you make it out to the main street. You look up, letting your eyes adjust to the bright sunset.

“Sophie!” He calls, you swallow the nerves as you walk down the steps to catch up with him. You were friends with her, everyone is friends with Sophie. Like most people you haven’t really seen her in almost a year. It makes your stomach drop as your brother hugs her. She’s in red and white too. She already has a garland around her neck.

“I will miss your fish jokes.” She says smiling. You see Gustave standing behind her, he looks good. Tired and sad but good, it must be hard for him, he used to date Sophie.

“Why are fish so smart?” Your brother says.

“Because they swim in schools.” She replies laughing. “You told me that one already.”

“How am I supposed to keep track with all the fish the orphanage goes through?” He replies, throwing his arms up and laughing. Sophie’s eyes land on you, you smile at her. You don’t know what to say, she should be living not you. She did more with her short life than you ever did.

“Good luck.” She says to you.

“Thank you.” You smile.

“You’ll take care of my sister won’t you?” Your brother asks Gustave.

“Clement!” You snap grabbing his arm. It’s not Gustave’s job to look after you, you blush. “Sorry, we should go.” You say nodding at him and pulling your brother away.

“Good luck!” Your brother calls.

“Good luck?” You ask, still feeling the heat in your cheeks.

“I mean who knows what really happens when we Gommage.” He says nudging you. The thought makes your stomach sink. You hope that there is another place after the Gommage and that your brother will be happy, maybe he’ll see your parents again. You loop your arm around his as you head down the main strip towards the dock.

People seem to stare at you less now you’re walking around in an expedition uniform. You still catch them though, the little looks and hushed voices. The sun is really low now and the sky is a beautiful mix of colours. You and your brother don’t say much, You’re not sure what to say.

You feel like you said everything you wanted to say a year ago when you were here instead. You haven’t been back to the docks since, you isolated yourself away from the world. It didn’t help that the first week after everything happened someone attacked you. They cornered you while you were on the way back from the store.

You don’t remember much, just the pain of the knife on your arm and your neck. You woke up at the infirmary with your brother by your side. He stayed by your side the whole time you were recovering.

You don’t quite make it all the way down to the docks, your brother leads you away from the crowd over to the left of the main dock near where the Expedition will be leaving from. You look up at him bracing your hands on the wall that faces out towards the sea, he looks scared.

You’ve only ever seen him scared a few times before. When your mother and father Gommaged and when you woke in the infirmary.

He looks scared now. You reach over and grab his hand. He turns to look down at you, you see the tears building in his eyes. You squeeze his hand and he turns to you slightly.

“I-” He chokes on the word. “I thought maybe I would get spared too.”

“There’s still time.” You say with a smile trying to lighten the mood. It doesn’t work though and he shakes his head, your smile quickly fades.

“I can feel it.” He says and looks back out at the monolith. You want to ask what he means but at the same time you don’t want to know. The energy seems to change, the sound of the crowds starts to die down. You hold your breath as you see the Paintress’s head start to rise. He squeezes your hand again, he chuckles and your head snaps up to look at him.

“What?” You ask. He turns to look at you reaching out for your other hand forcing you to turn and face him.

“I always wondered if it tickled.” He says. You don’t know what to say, you just keep looking at him, you see the Paintress out of the corner of your eye. You see the number change from 34 to 33. It makes you feel sick, tears are rolling down your brother's face. You can’t hold yours back anymore.

They’re fogging your vision but you don’t want to blink and miss your brother. You start to see white and red petals fly into the air. You squeeze his hands again and he squeezes you back.

He’s still here, your happy-go-lucky younger brother. Who would protect you at the orphanage from the older kids. Your brother who almost burnt your flat down baking crème brûlée to surprise you.

“You’re going to do amazing things. My gifted sister.” He says. You want to reply but your voice catches in your throat as he starts to fade too.

“Does it tickle?” You ask, he smiles, tipping his head to the side. He squeezes your hand one more time, you look down at them and close your eyes feeling your brother's hands leave yours. You wish yours was vanishing too, but when you open your eyes you’re still here.

You let out a sob as the petals left by your brother fall out of your hands. You look back towards the crowd. Some people are crying, some are holding each other but most are slowly making their way back to the main square and away from the docks.

You take the opportunity to turn and look back out towards the monolith, you see Gustave all the way down at the end of the dock, he’s alone now.

You look out as the darkness of the night starts to fade in, the warm oranges and pinks are blown away with the millions of petals drifting towards the monolith.

You shouldn’t be here. Out of all the people in Lumière you should be the last person spared.

___

“So I guess the theory you got the year wrong was also incorrect.” Tom calls to you as you walk down to the Expedition celebration. He has a bottle of wine in his hand.

“Yeah.” You say, you’re not sure what to say. You don’t know any of them very well, you trained with them for a little while but even the people you’re going to be dying with held you at arms length.

“Well at least you’re making up for it.” He slurs and offers you the wine. You accept it, you can hear the spite in his voice. He’s lost parents, friends, he has a younger sister he’ll never see again after tonight.

You take a big sip of the bitter, warm wine.

“I heard Lune wants to talk to you.” He says as you hand him the bottle back. You look past him down the steps to see her working on a log by booths. “Probably wants to make sure you’re definitely not going to curse us.”

“He-”

“Easy Tom, if you drink too much you’ll be vomiting the whole journey.” A familiar voice behind you says.

“If I’m going down it’s not going to be sober.” He says holding the bottle up. You turn to look at Gustave as Tom mumbles and makes his way down the steps.

“Thank you.” You say, you feel yourself blushing again. Why? It’s just Gustave, you’ve spoken to him a handful of times, he’s a nice person.

“It’s okay.”

“How were things with Sophie?” You ask, your eyes go wide as you realise what you’ve just asked.

“I mean- sorry. How-” Idiot, you’re such an idiot. You feel more heat rush to your cheeks and let out a breath. “Are you okay?”

He chuckles. “Yeah. How about you?”

“Yeah.” You say. “I never thought I would be the one seeing my brother go.”

“He worked down on the docks right?” He asks. You smile.

“Yeah, with Samuel.”

“He had good fish.” Gustave says. You nod, remembering the free fish your brother would regularly drop off at your flat. Talking about him makes a lump form in your throat you’ve only just stopped crying.

“I should go.” You say turning to look back over at Lune. “Lune, she’s looking for me.”

“Of, course. I’ll see you later then.” He says. You nod and smile at him before turning to go down the stairs. You’re about halfway down when he calls you. You freeze and turn back to look at him.

“I don’t blame you. For what happened, last year at the Gommage.” You’re surprised he’s talking about it. Your mind is drawing a blank, most of the time people get angry when they bring it up. Most people in the Expedition think you’re cursed and therefore the Expedition is cursed too. You smile at him and nod, letting out a long breath as you walk over to Lune.

She looks concentrated as she works on an expedition log. You almost don’t want to disturb her. She hears you though putting down her work and standing up, she turns to look at you. Lune has always been fascinated by you - well not always - after you survived your first Gommage she would come to your flat almost daily to try and ask you questions.

When you were in the infirmary after the attack, you couldn’t avoid her. She would sit and question you for hours, until a nurse or your brother would ask her to leave. It was strangely nice, she became someone you would look forward to seeing - other than your brother.

“Is he..?” She trails off. You nod. She turns back to the table.

“I found some papers written about what could happen if someone ever survived the Gommage.” She says picking them up and turning back to you, you take them from her. Typical Lune; not one to dwell on the past for too long. It’s all about the future. Tomorrow comes.

“I still think this is a bad idea. You should stay here not come on the Expedition.” She says, there’s spite in her voice. She was also a big advocate for you staying behind, although unlike your brother she’s expecting you to re-populate Lumière.

“I want answers, maybe the Paintress can provide some.” You say. It’s optimistic, you know it is, she knows it is. The chances of you actually making it to her are slim, you’re more likely to die way before then.

“You could have at least had a child. Maybe it’s genetic.” She says.

“Then maybe I’ll get to watch my children die too.” You say.

“At least they won't lose their mother.” She says. You don’t know what to say, it’s making you sad. You don’t want kids, you’ve never wanted kids. Your best chance is still to get to the Paintress, maybe you can ask her for answers. If not they at least you can kill her and no one else will die.

“Lune! Let me read your card.” You hear a bubbly voice behind you. You know who it is instantly; Sciel. You move to the side swallowing the nerves, Sciel doesn’t like you.

“Oh,” she says, stopping when she sees you.

“You know I don’t believe in that Sciel.” Lune replies, crossing her arms, ignoring the obvious tension between you both.

“Why don’t you do a reading for the whole Expedition?” You say. You need the people in the Expedition to at least tolerate you, if you’re going to be responsible for each other's lives you’d like to think they would help you.

Sciel sighs looking quickly at Lune before shuffling the deck. You smile, maybe before this is all over she might even like you. She pulls out a card and flips it so you and Lune can see. It’s a pretty card with a large moon and gold accents.

“The moon.” She says.

“Is that good?” You ask, her eyes snap to you almost like she’s annoyed you’re asking.

“It can mean different things.” She says putting it back in the pack.

“It could be the death card, but it doesn’t mean anything.” Lune says.

“Ah, the cards never lie.” Sciel says putting the pack in her pocket. “Besides, everyone dies.”

She turns to look at you, her smile fading. “Well, maybe not everyone.”

…

After your run in with Sciel you made your way to a quiet corner of the dock.

You picked up a glass of wine too. Maybe Tom had the right idea, if you’re going to go it might as well be with a buzz. You sip on it as you see Sciel continue to go around reading people’s cards and raising a glass with everyone. Everyone but you.

You’re not sure what you did to make her hate you so much - other than survive the impossible. When you showed up at the Expedition hall to sign up for Expedition 33. She looked shocked, staring at you with wide eyes as you spoke to the recruiter.

Most of the other expeditioners kept their distance from you. The only people who would say more than two words to you were Lune and Gustave. Lune would help you train, teach you how to use Croma and carve it into your skin.

Gustave was always so busy with his sister, Maelle you always thought he would be named as the Expedition Commander. Maelle also seemed reserved about you, you should be used to it by now, you shouldn’t care what people think. You see Emma walking down the steps. You watch as people start to turn their heads and move towards her. You see Gustave meet her at the bottom of the steps.

You head back over to the tables putting your empty glass down as she makes it to the podium to make a speech. Alan, the Expedition commander steps up and accepts her hand, they talk between each other before he leaves her and she turns to look at everyone gathered around.

Emma and Alan will give a speech then you will all raise a glass to the previous fallen Expeditioners and then there’s the traditional slice of cake. It always looked sad to you with the bent tower candle. At least the cake tastes good. You watch as Emma steps to the edge of the platform.

“Expeditioners. The sword of Lumière. We honour your dedication. We do not take for granted that you dedicate your final year of life to keeping the hope alive for all of Lumière.” Emma starts. You look down at your hands. If you fail everyone here and everyone staying behind on Lumière will die.

Maybe Lune was right and you really are the only hope for life to continue. Maybe you leaving to go on the Expedition is selfish. You look over and see Gustave, Maelle is standing just to the side of him. He’s done amazing things for Lumière, especially the Lumina Converter. He doesn’t need to sacrifice himself anymore.

Just another person who deserves better. He looks over at you and your eyes lock onto his. You quickly look away, you should be paying attention to Emma’s speech. You swallow the embarrassment but you can’t help looking back. His attention is turned back to his other sister Emma finishing off her speech.

Your heart is thumping in your chest. Your mind wanders to the times you’ve spent with Gustave. He’s a good person, a nice person. Sometimes shy but everyone loves him, he’s almost the opposite of you.

Everyone starts clapping and it makes you jump, you look up at Emma and join in as she walks to the back of the podium and Alan steps up. You sneak a glance back over at Gustave but he’s moved, the only person you see now is Maelle and her red hair.

You don’t listen to Alan’s speech, you find your eyes wandering over the crowd, looking for Gustave. You curse at yourself for looking, he’s just an acquaintance, a colleague. Besides what does it matter, you’ll all be dead by the morning anyway.

___

The ship ride across to the Continent was quicker than you thought it was going to be.

Most people stood or sat around in silence, the only people talking were Alan and his lieutenant. They talk about the beach that we’re going to dock at as a heavy fog rolls in. It's thick, so thick you can’t see the land, it doesn’t help that it’s dark too.

People are nervous, you can tell by the way almost everyone is gripping on to the side of the boat for dear life. The only one who’s smiling is Sciel, she seems the only calm one and by calm she’s almost giddy. It feels like the ship is rocking more and more the closer you get to what you think is the shore.

It’s not long before there’s a crash and the sound of wood grinding against stone. The ship comes to a stop.

You go to the edge, you can see the black stony shore - you’ve never seen anything like it before, there are no beaches in Lumière.

“We’re here.” Alan announces. Some people look excited, most look more nervous than before. You look around the group, you see Lune and Gustave. They climb off the ship first with Alan. You linger a little getting off with the back of the group.

You’re all walking forward, following Alan when a sound of thumping fills the air. The fog is still thick, you think you can see huge black cliffs that look like they go on for miles. That’s going to be the first hurdle getting through them, maybe you should have landed at a better spot.

Alan puts his hand up as there’s another thump. It’s louder now, it makes your body shake, you can’t quite pin where the noise is coming from, you see everyone looking around too.

It’s definitely getting closer, it almost feels like it’s coming from below you. You spot Maelle in the group, her red hair makes her stick out as she stands behind Gustave. Your hand slips into your pouch, you feel your crystals, if you’re attacked at least you’ll be able to shield yourself.

“Get ready.” Alan says, turning back quickly. You watch as people’s weapons materialise in their hands, you pull yours out too, wrapping the chain around your wrist and hand and letting the large crystal on the end fall.

Suddenly the thumping stops, it’s almost like everyone is holding their breath. There are alot of people in front of you, you move to get a better look.

“You- You’re old.” Alan says, confused. You almost don’t believe your ears, then you see him. An old man, grey hair with a cane in his hand.

“How did you- How did you survive the Gommage?” Alan asks. Now you’re not breathing, a few people turn back to look at you. You feel guilty for some reason, heat rushes to your cheeks. The man doesn’t say anything, he just stands there. He’s dressed smart but he’s not wearing an Expedition uniform.

“What Expedition are you fr-” It happens quickly, a single swipe of his cane and Alan is silenced. You’re not quite sure what happened at first, you’re still trying to comprehend it when his headless body falls to the floor.

His lieutenant shouts to ‘fall back’ but you don’t register it quick enough and suddenly there are explosions all around you. Everyone scatters screaming and yelling. You rush forward looking for cover. You look around to see where other people are running to. You see a flash of red hair then an explosion right in front of you blows you off your feet.

You’re thrown painfully against the hull of the ship. Your head is ringing as more explosions are fired off and you see new enemies moving in the dense fog. You need to move, get away from this place and find cover. You force yourself to your feet even as your vision blurs.

You hear something stepping behind you, you’re almost too scared to turn around. Your heart is pounding in your chest. Whatever is behind you sounds like it's croaking, you see light envelop you from behind.

You hold the chain of your weapon between both your hands. You almost want to laugh as you turn around to face the Nevron. You didn’t even make it a metre onto the Continent.

The Nevron is huge, you can’t make much of it out, your head is still spinning, your vision is still blurred. All you can see is a bright yellow light and two massive hands, you start to spin the crystal on the end of the chain. If you’re going to go down you’re not going down without a fight.

You barely have time to move or even scream before it lunges at you and everything goes black.

Banners by uzmacchiato & cafekitsune

#i love this already #excited to see where this goes

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