boundlessescape

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Close the door. Remove the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Paulo Coelho (via makeandgather)

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I went through some pretty unbearable things a few years back. Things I refused to admit to myself had happened to me. Things that shattered my soul and drained my blood. Instead of trying to work through them, I pretended they simply didn't exist. They chewed through me, from the inside out. I kept telling myself that I was fine, as I slowly lost sight of everything that once made me who I was. In my quest to simply put one foot in front of the other, I let down a lot of people that used to make up my world. I was just too shattered, surrounded by my own rubble I didn't know up from down anymore. I hurt people immensely that never deserved to suffer as a result of my own catastrophe. I pushed away everyone who knew the minute details of me, because subconsciously I didn't want them to force recognition of what I had gone through out of me. I think I knew they would be able to tell something was horribly wrong, and I just wasn't able to accept that. I wasn't able to accept that I needed help. I wasn't able to accept the things that had happened to me. And I surely didn't want to be forced to acknowledge them. But here I am a few years later, still standing on my own two feet. Not fully healed but I have regained so much of myself. And I miss those people. I ache for the friendships I once had, that I ruined out of selfish denial when I turned into a person I cannot recognize. The girl who turned away from nearly everyone who loved her, who wanted to help her, its as if I only experienced her in a dream. I don't know how to explain it other than the drugs. I was on so many prescriptions, and in so much pain physically, mentally, and emotionally. All of them being sedatives, there's a year and a half of my life that I remember only through photographs. I have little bursts of what I think might be memories, but they feel more like something I watched as a bystander than they do things I experienced first hand. It's a very weird feeling, the feeling that for a year and a half you watched yourself from outside of your body. And even though I can't remember most of the things I did, and my mind tricks me into feeling like it was another person who occupied my body during that time, I know that it was still I who committed such crimes against those whom I loved. And now a few years later, it's just too late. My friendships, though some have been mended, will never be the friendships I once had. Some of them I hurt too deeply. Some of them I pushed too far. The world kept spinning while I slept. The wold kept turning while I hid from myself, my family, and my friends. The sun rose and set every day that I sometimes was unable to even leave my bed. And I turned away from a lot of people, I shoved knives in their back and sprinkled salt in the wounds. A few years later and I wish these friendships were mendable, but many wounds that heal often leave a scar. I'm sorry. I miss you. I hope life treats you well, that your wildest dreams come true, and above anything else that you live a life of peace and happiness.

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Never forget that the President of the United States saw millions of people around the world gather to march for unity, respect and equal rights … and then went on Twitter the next day to make fun of them and not address a single one of their very important issues.

It’s day two.

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from weheartit

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Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.

Ursula K. Le Guin (via lazypacific)

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Medicine should never have been privatized in the first place. The concept of profiting off of human desperation and the need for life-saving medicine is, philosophically, intrinsically, and morally wrong both as a fundamental concept and in practice. The fact that Martin Shkreli was ever able to buy an AIDS drug and increase its price 5000% is indicative of a problem even bigger than a truly evil, despicable, and selfish human being; it is indicative of the problem of the current system of for-profit pharmaceuticals with obviously inadequate price regulation.

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Reblog if you’re lost in life rn but still trying make shit happen

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