bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow - Tumblr blog

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

How in the living hell did it take me 12 years to discover the ATLA reference in Skyrim??

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Rockstar Games Facts You Should Know

There are some theories that suggest that all of Rockstar’s titles are all part of the same universe. This is untrue, especially considering the GTA games take part in 3 different universes: the 2D Universe, which consists of GTA 1, its London expansion packs, and GTA 2; the 3D Universe, which consists of GTA III, Vice City, San Andreas, GTA Advanced, Liberty City Stories, and Vice City Stories; and the HD Universe, which consists of GTA IV, its DLC expansions The Lost and Damned and The Ballad of Gay Tony, Chinatown Wars, GTA V, GTA Online, and the upcoming GTA VI. We can rule out the Midnight Club and Max Payne series as well as L.A. Noire, since they use real-life locations as the main locations, plus the fact that Midnight Club uses actual real-life vehicle manufacturers. The Manhunt series and Bully are part of the GTA 3D Universe, and the Red Dead series could be argued to be part of the GTA HD Universe.

There exists a theory that suggests that Jimmy Hopkins from Bully and James Earl Cash from Manhunt are the same people, due to the two having similar hairstyles, and the fact that both their names are James.

With the exception of the Midnight Club series and Bully, Rockstar’s games have the M rating. Over the years, Rockstar has pushed some boundaries over what’s acceptable in an M rated game. During the development of San Andreas, Rockstar originally intended to implement a sex mini game after you go on a date with one of your girlfriends in the game, but this would’ve given the game the dreaded AO rating, meaning many retailers wouldn’t even have it on the shelves. More on that later. Also, if Rockstar hadn’t heavily censored Manhunt 2, it would’ve gotten that rating in the US.

Jack Thompson had an infamous reputation for being the worst enemy of video games, period. He especially had a hard-on for the GTA series, as he looks connections between the crimes the player would commit in the virtual world and crimes individuals have committed in the real world. Gamers would probably be pleased to hear that in 2008 he was permanently disbarred.

Who’s the mysterious man John Marston keeps running into throughout Red Dead Redemption? This man sends John out to “test his morality,” and when John meets him the last time, he gets frustrated that this man would not tell him who he is, and as he walks off, John shoots him, but the bullets just pass right through him. Many people have speculated that the man is actually God. Now as an atheist, I find that absurd, but to each his own.

Remember the sex mini-game I mentioned in San Andreas? Well, Rockstar, instead of simply removing mechanic, they just simply bury it in the game’s code. But thanks to some modding and some open-heart surgery on the game, PC gamers have unearthed this mini-game. The ESRB caught wind of this, and gave the game the AO rating, and many stores pulled the games from the shelves, and they were put back on the shelves once the “Hot Coffee” mod was removed entirely. So THAT was why my dad and I couldn’t find it at Blockbuster when it first out…

In Vice City, the main protagonist, Tommy Vercetti, was voiced by the late Ray Liotta. Employees at Rockstar have stated how difficult the actor was to work with, with one occasion with Ray pulling a Joe Pesci Goodfellas moment when they’re all eating and drinking at a steakhouse, and suddenly Ray says “What the fuck are you laughing at?” After a few seconds of awkward silence, he finally says “I’m fucking with you!” They even said Ray would groan before recording all his lines. Needless to say, this was just one of the reasons Rockstar decided not to employ big actors for future projects. Insult to injury, the late Burt Reynolds was also in Vice City, and Rockstar also did not enjoy working for him.

Young Maylay, the voice of CJ from San Andreas, and Shawn Fonteno, aka Solo, the voice of Franklin from GTA V, are cousins in real life. Fonteno even voiced a Grove Street NPC in San Andreas, which made it easier for him to secure a role in GTA V.

Gamers have sworn they saw Bigfoot in San Andreas. This has been proven a false myth, as modders have added a skin to an NPC seen in the wilderness. But Rockstar added a Sasquatch encounter in Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare, and the completion of this awards the achievement/trophy named “6 Years in the Making.” In the GTA V mission “Predator,” when you control Michael holding a sniper with a thermal scope, you can see Sasquatch in the corner of the screen. Once you aim your reticle at it, it disappears. Also, upon achieving 100% completion of GTA V, you’re given one more Strangers & Freaks mission named “The Last One,” where you’re helping a hunter hunt for a Sasquatch that he’s been looking for “for 9 years.” Gotta love the meta references that allude to the year 2004.

A fan has asked Steven Ogg to send a message via Cameo to Jason and Lucia, the protagonists of the upcoming GTA VI, as Trevor Phillips. Steven did the opposite by stating he’s not Trevor. Clearly he doesn’t wish to continue being associated with the character that essentially made his career. He’s been in AMC’s Better Call Saul and The Walking Dead, but I always referred to his characters as Trevor, even if his TWD character is named Simon.

Remember the 2021 disaster known as the GTA Trilogy: The “Definitive” Edition? Well did you know there was another “remastered” version of GTA: San Andreas released on the PS3 and Xbox 360 in 2014 to celebrate the 10 year anniversary? Yet there was no such version for Vice City or GTA III. Well, the “remaster” is actually the shitty mobile version that was ported for consoles. And yes, that version is ass! And guess who was responsible for that version? War Drum Studios, aka Grove Street Games. The same assholes that gave us the Defective Edition…

San Andreas’ “Wrong Side of the Tracks” has quite a reputation. Not just for being one of the toughest missions in GTA history thanks to Smoke’s Galactic Empire Marksmanship training, but due to the infamous “Mission Failed” cutscene: “All we had to do was follow the damn train, CJ!” That line has become a meme, that even one of the lines in the main menu in Minecraft said “Follow the train, CJ!” Hell, there’s even a gold medal requirement in GTA V’s mission “Derailed” called “Better Than CJ,” which is given if the player, controlling Trevor, hops onto the train in the very first attempt.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Was Family Guy All In Peter’s Head?

This is an interesting fan theory. It probably makes the most sense as the Griffins don’t seem to suffer consequences, and at the end of each episode, after all is said and done, everything goes back to normal. All these inconsequential moments occurred because Peter imagined them that way after being committed to a mental institution. That’s his way of coping with a tragedy with his family.

Meg was actually a beautiful teenager and the most popular girl in high school, Chris had an intellectual disability due to not having enough oxygen when he was born, and Lois was still pregnant with Stewie. Meg goes to a party and brings Chris along, but Meg drinks way too much. Chris has a panic attack, and Meg decides to drive him home, but being too drunk to drive, they get into an accident and both die. Lois, not able to deal with losing both her children, commits suicide while still pregnant with Stewie. This makes Peter lose his mind.

While institutionalized, he reimagines the family as still being alive, just with alterations. Peter resented Meg after she died for being the cause of the chain of events that lead to him losing his family, so he imagined her as being unattractive and unpopular, and being bullied by absolutely everyone. Stewie was imagined as a genius because the son Peter never got to meet was seen as having limitless potential. The reason for Stewie’s matricidal attempts was because Peter was angry with her for ending the lives of herself and their unborn child.

What about Brian and the guys? Simply put, Brian IS Peter. Or at least he’s a manifestation of Peter’s former personality, as for the “oafish brute” we’ve seen is what he’s actually become, just a dim witted shell of his former self. As for the guys, Quagmire and Cleveland visited him from time to time. Joe was the new neighbor that moved to Peter’s house, so Peter never met him.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

What The Fuck Is Wrong With Modern Family Guy?

Family Guy first aired in 1999. For the past 25 years, the show has survived two cancellations, a couple friendly jabs from The Simpsons, a not-so-friendly bashing from South Park, has been the subject of many controversies, had a few banned episodes, was the target of PTC groups, and it’s still going. Nowadays, the only thing the series is good for is the nostalgia for the classic episodes, because let’s face it, the show FUCKING SUCKS NOW!! At what point did the once beloved adult cartoon become an embarrassment to animation? Some would say starting with season 9 when the show made the jump to HD, others would say around season 7, personally I’d say around season 8, right around the time they made Brian and Quagmire mortal enemies. So, what earned this piece of shit show its fall from grace? Time to set the record straight!

1. Character Flanderization - Each character had traits that have been overly simplified while other traits have been greatly exaggerated. Take Brian for example, cause he was one of the hardest hit characters with that concept. At the start of the series, he was the intelligent voice of reason, but now he is an alcoholic, pretentious, unlikable scumbag! Peter went from lovable doofus to domestic abusive, underoos psychopath, and Lois went from caring housewife who played the piano beautifully to sexual deviant who’s obviously cheating on her husband, and not just with Bill Clinton! Meg went from typical awkward teenage girl to the show’s punching bag (more on that later), Joe was a heroic cop in spite of his handicap who’s now seen as pathetically worthless. And don’t get me started on Quagmire! While he was always perverted, he at least used to be likable. But now he’s noting more than a sex-crazed maniac. And he had the BALLS to call Brian out on his faults when he’s the BIGGEST FUCKING HYPOCRITE OF ALL TIME??!!

2. Convoluted/Recycled Episode Plots - A LOT OF EPISODES ARE THE SAME SHITTY PLOT!! No matter what season we’re on, if you get asked if you’ve seen the most recent episode of Family Guy, and you ask, “Isn’t that the one where Peter does some reckless shenanigan that leads to Brian ‘finding love,’ only for the relationship to end abruptly because of how unlikable that fucker is?,” YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!! Also there’s the problem of two things going on at once. In one episode, Stewie gets PREGNANT (more on that later), while in that episode’s B-plot, Peter and the guys are trying to make a viral video. Honestly I forgot how well that turned out cause I was already disgusted by, uh, THAT plot! WHICH WAS WHY THERE SHOULD NOT BE MORE THAN ONE FUCKING PLOT IN A FUCKING EPISODE!!!!

3. Drawn Out/Extended/Overused “Jokes” (aka Filler)- Yeah, I put that in quotation marks because a joke is supposed to be FUNNY! Not even the Joker would find the “humor” in this shitwad of a show hilarious! But I digress! You know the writers have not written enough material for an episode when they throw in something as filler just to fill up the 22-minute runtime. Like the chicken fights, while they are epic, they’re just really used as an excuse to make up for lack of material, because each fight just gets longer, and Longer, AND LONGER! And don’t expect that to end anytime soon, because Peter brings Ernie back to life solely because he didn’t want to be the only one responsible for paying for the damages their conflict has caused throughout town throughout the years! Oh and the Conway Twitty jokes! I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t really like them the first time, but that was at a time I DESPISED country music (I still hate modern country music, but thanks to New Vegas, I broadened my horizons, and my favorite music is metal). But in one scene, they decide to SHOW AN ENTIRE 3-MINUTE SONG!!! 3 MINUTES! OUT OF A 22-MINUTE EPISODE!!! Eventually, even God told Peter that Mr. Twitty himself says to cut it out and actually write a joke! And who can forget Peter falling and hurting his knee? The “SSS, AHHH” gag was funny the first time, but after being used repeatedly, it gets old fast! Also, I should mention the wasted minute of Carter smashing a park bench with a bulldozer.

4. Shocking/Grossout “Humor” - I purposefully didn’t mention this in my last point, but that moment when Peter “rescues” a beached whale with a forklift truck? Yeah he actually impales it with the truck’s forks, killing it instantly. Not only that, but he spends a minute and a half getting it off the forklift, spilling its entrails and even its fucking jaw! How about that episode where Brian GIVES STEWIE HERPES??? OR THE ONE WHERE STEWIE IMPREGNATES HIMSELF USING BRIAN’S DNA?!?! THATS FUCKING DISGUSTING!! I ALWAYS SKIP THE LATTER TWO EPISODES BECAUSE I DON’T EVER WANNA PUT MYSELF THROUGH THAT AGAIN!! How about a moment that got an episode banned from rebroadcast, when Peter wins the Boston Marathon by getting in his car and running over the other competitors? That’s NOT funny!

5. Mean-Spirited Show - Peter even admits he’s no longer attracted to Lois AND he didn’t like being around the kids, Lois encourages Meg to commit suicide, Brian became an unbearable douche after he writes a best-seller, Stewie tells Brian that he’s gonna buy a cake when he dies, Bonnie is hellbent on leaving Joe, even contemplated killing him, and the list goes on and on. That’s all I have to say…

6. Not Living Up To The Name - It’s called “Family Guy,” not “Idiotic Menace Does Whatever Moronic, Reckless Shenanigan That Pops In His Head With Zero Regard For His Family, His, Friends, Or His Whole Community At Large, And Gets Off Scott Free And Learns Nothing!” Peter Griffin, the so-called “Family Guy,” is a selfish, immature, drunk, abusive, unfaithful, apathetic, unsympathetic, unlikable, idiotic, psychopathic JACKASS!! HE PUTS HIS OWN DAUGHTER’S FACE TO HIS ASS AND FARTS IN IT!!! MORE ON THAT LATER! HE CONSTANTLY CHEATS ON HIS WIFE, HE DOESN’T REALLY CARE ABOUT CHRIS OR STEWIE, AND HE CONSTANTLY BELITTLES OR PUTS DOWN HIS OWN BEST FRIENDS, DRINKS WAY TO MUCH, AND DESTROYS THE FUCKING TOWN EVERY FEW YEARS FIGHTING ERNIE THE GIANT CHICKEN!! HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT IN PRISON?!?!

7. Meg Bashing - WHY. THE. FUCK. IS. THIS. A. THING?!?! Meg started the season off as an unpopular high school girl, you know, normal teenage bullshit, and she suddenly becomes UNIVERSALLY HATED BY EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY HER FAMILY!!! LOIS AND PETER ATTEMPT TO ABANDON HER AT A FIRE STATION AS A BABY, LOIS MAKES IT A POINT TO PUT HER DOWN EVERY CHANCE SHE GETS, PETER FARTS ON HER, AND THE LIST GOES ON!!! WHY ALL THE HATE? BECAUSE APPARENTLY SHE’S “UGLY??” SHE’S NOT EVEN THAT UNATTRACTIVE!! EVERYONE ON THE SHOW SHOULD DIE A HORRIFIC DEATH!!!

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Images that precede terrible events

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Examples of the Mandela Effect

Ever remembered seemingly minute details of one thing, but reality shows you that detail was entirely different? Some suggest we have jumped into an alternate reality and the things we remember were from the reality we left behind. That’s called the Mandela Effect.

The namesake: This phenomenon was named after Dr. Nelson Mandela, whom many of the older generation could distinctly remember dying in prison in the 1980s. Actually, he died only 10 years ago!

Often misquoted movie lines: I’ll give a few in the same entry, since I could make a list on its own of those alone. In undeniably the greatest plot twist in all of cinema, when Luke faces Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back, Vader reveals to the young Skywalker that instead of killing the boy’s father as old Obi-Wan Kenobi had told him, Vader IS, in fact, young Luke’s father! He doesn’t actually say “Luke, I am your father,” as many people like to say, but rather, “No, I am your father!” Also, the Evil Queen says “Magic Mirror on the wall,” instead of “Mirror, mirror, on the wall.” Also, upon first meeting FBI agent Clarice Starling, incarcerated cannibalistic psychiatrist Dr. Hannibal Lecter actually says “Good morning,” not “Hello, Clarice!”

The wrong family of bears - Did you know it’s Berenstain Bears and not Berenstein Bears?

Wait, I thought these were cartoons, not songs - Looney Tunes. Not Looney Toons. Just remember the name of its sister cartoons, called Merrie Melodies.

How do you spell the cereal? - Froot Loops

Speaking of fruit - What’s with the lack of the cornucopia in the Fruit of the Loom logo? I swore it was there?

Rich uncle - Contrary to what we remember, “Rich Uncle” Pennybags, better known as Mr. Monopoly, never wore a monocle.

Gotta catch ‘em all - I’m sorry, but Pikachu actually didn’t have a black detail on the tip of its tail.

Talking about tails - Curious George doesn’t have a tail! Wouldn’t that make him a chimpanzee instead of a monkey?

The magic comedian - Who remembers Sinbad being a genie in the movie Shazam back in the 1990s? Wait, he didn’t? And there didn’t exist such movie title until 2019?? I guess we’ve gotten that confused with Kazaam staring Shaquille O’Neal, not Sinbad!

Got it going on with the wrong band - “Stacey’s Mom” was not written by Bowling for Soup, instead it was by Fountains of Wayne.

How does the song end again? - The final chorus of Queen’s “We Are the Champions” doesn’t end with “Of the world!” Just ends with “…’Cause we are the champions!” And that is a perfect ending to my list!

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

If you have sex, your penis will fall off, and land in another dimension, populated entirely by dogs, who will eat it.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

How Old Are the Griffins Really?

Family Guy has been around for over 20 years, not including the 2-and-a-half year hiatus when the show was cancelled a second time. Being a cartoon, the characters in that show don’t age, and the whole timeline has been known as a “floating timeline.” If cartoon characters aged, well get to the bottom of old they are! How I’ll calculate this is I will take the year 1999 when the show first aired, and take their first reported age, and with a little subtraction, calculate what year they’d have been born and determine how old they’d actually be in 2023

Peter Griffin - In “Stewie Loves Lois,” Dr. Hartman informs Peter that he’s 42 years old and has never had a prostate examination. 1999-42=1957, making Peter 66 years old.

Lois Griffin - In “Let’s Go to the Hop,” Lois reminds Peter she’s 2 years younger than him, but “Meet the Quagmires” suggest they’re most likely around the same age, since they were both 18 when Death takes Peter back to 1983. We’ll take Peter’s year of birth and add two more years and we’ll have an age range on how old Lois would most likely be. Lois would’ve been born at some point between 1957 and 1959, making her 64-66 years old.

Meg Griffin - In “I Never Met the Dead Man,” Meg’s “Wonder Years” voiceover said she was 15 years old. 1999-15=1984, making Meg 39 years old.

Chris Griffin - In the pilot episode “Death Has a Shadow,” Lois reminds Chris he’s 13. 1999-13=1986, making Chris 37 years old.

Stewie Griffin - Stewie has his first and only birthday in the show in the season 1 episode “Chitty Chitty Death Bang.” Stewie would have been born in 1998, making him 25 years old.

Brian Griffin - Brian’s first reported age is 7. Brian would have born in 1992, so he’d be 31 years old, but dogs only live to be 15 or so, so he’d definitely be dead by 2023, probably twice.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

More facts!

Quagmire is actually 61 years old! His secret to looking young: carrots.

Out of all the members of the Griffin family, Stewie is the only character to remain the same age throughout most of the series, still being a year old since the season 1 episode “Chitty Chitty Death Bang.” Brian had just turned 10, Peter is 45, Lois is 44, Chris is 15, and Meg is 19.

Peter’s full name is Peter Löwenbräu Griffin, Sr. His birth name is Justin Peter McFinnigan.

Peter and Lois actually have 4 children. Peter Griffin, Jr. unfortunately died after being shaken to death.

Like Meg, Cleveland Brown had 3 different voice actors: he had a different voice in the unaired pilot, then for most of the series, he was voiced by Mike Henry. In light of the 2020 riots, Henry stepped down as the voice for Cleveland. Cleveland is now voiced by Arif Zahir.

Vern and Johnny, the vaudevillian duo, were both killed off by Stewie due to the audiences being sick of them. They made one more running gag after their death, when Vern’s ghost does a performance that falls flat, asking Johnny to “play him off.” Johnny does so from Hell.

Family Guy had two “lost” episodes. “When You Wish Upon A Weinstein” was originally gonna air along with season 2, but Fox feared it was too antisemitic, so they refused to air it. It eventually was released on DVD in 2003, and finally aired on Adult Swim in 2004. “Partial Terms of Endearment,” on the other hand, never got aired on any TV channel in the US, but was still given a DVD release.

Chris originally had earrings. They were subtly removed due to them being hard to animate at the time.

As a cartoon, the show lacks consistency in continuity. For instance, in one episode, it’s revealed that Chris was the outcome of a broken condom, and the resulting lawsuit settlement got the Griffin their house on Spooner Street. But later episodes reveal that Chris was adopted, and that Chris is the son of Phillip Seymour Hoffman after Lois has an affair with him. Later episodes also reveal that Lois’s father Carter actually pays for the Griffins’ house.

While The Simpsons has been infamous for its accurate predictions of the future, Family Guy has been guilty of such a thing on more than one occasion, such as the Boston Marathon, Kevin Spacey’s sexual assault allegations, Caitlyn Jenner’s transistion, and the episode “Hot Shots,” which accurately predicted the COVID-19 pandemic to a T

Facts about Family Guy you probably didn’t know (or maybe you do!)

1. Creator/executive producer Seth MacFarlane was only 25 years old when the pilot episode, “Death Has A Shadow,” first aired in 1999, making him one of the youngest executive producers in history at the time!

2. Family Guy was based off a cartoon a young MacFarlane made in 1995 as a school project when he attended the Rhode Island School of Design, titled “Life of Larry.”

3. Meg Griffin has had three different voice actors: Rachel MacFarlane voiced her in the 1998 unaired pilot pitch, Lacey Chabert voiced her for the entirety of season 1, and a percent of season 2, and Mila Kunis, the current voice of Meg.

4. The giant chicken Peter is constantly fighting with is named Ernie. Their feud started way back in season 2 when Ernie gave Peter an expired coupon!

5. Seth based Brian entirely on himself. Brian speaks with Seth’s natural speaking voice, they’re both supporters of the Democratic Party, and they’re both atheists.

6. Even though Seth hasn’t written or directed an episode in over a decade, and despite that now his only contribution to the show is his voice work, he still has his work cut out for him! He voices Peter, Brian, Stewie, Quagmire, Ida, Tom Tucker, Seamus, Carter Pewterschmidt, Dr. Hartman, God, Jasper, and even the Kool-Aid Man!

7. When Seth Green auditioned for the voice of Chris, he was the only one who didn’t talk in a surfer voice. In fact, he auditioned using his Buffalo Bill impression!

8. Stewie’s sexual orientation has remained intentionally ambiguous throughout the show, but Seth MacFarlane himself has “comfirmed” the character to be gay, in an interview with Playboy Magazine no less!

9. Brian’s feud/“frenemy-ship” (I know that’s not a word) with Glenn Quagmire dates back to season 8’s “Jerome Is The New Black,” when Quagmire goes on a major tirade on why he hates his best friend’s dog. Brian ends up pouring gas in the fire near the end of the same season when he ends up having sex with Quagmire’s parent Ida after her gender affirmation surgery.

10. Peter’s third grade teacher, Mrs. Wilson, is confirmed to have died as she was seen in the boat with the other deceased characters in “Coma Guy.” Her death was due to Debbie Reynolds, who voiced the character in her only appearance, unfortunately passing away in 2016.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Mortal Kombat Games Ranked

I will not be including the spin-offs, because let’s face it, two of those three are just HORRIBLE!! And as of making this post, the upcoming Mortal Kombat 1 has not been out yet, so I can’t rank it based on gameplay trailers alone!

Mortal Kombat X

Mortal Kombat (2011)

Mortal Kombat 11

Mortal Kombat: Deception

Mortal Kombat: Armageddon

Mortal Kombat II

Mortal Kombat (1992)

Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance

Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3

Mortal Kombat 4

Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Family Guy Characters Who Died

1. Mayor Adam West - There may be a few entries on this list that are the result of their voice actors dying in real life. Former Batman actor Adam West voiced a fictional and eccentric version of himself, as the mayor of Quahog. Unfortunately, the real life West died in 2017, and after all his unused dialogue was used, the show runners had to retire the character and pay a homage to the late actor by renaming the high school to Adam West High.

2. Angela - Like Mayor West, this character was tragically killed because of her voice actor, Carrie Fisher, having unfortunately died in 2016. The season 17 episode “Pawtucket Pete” begins with Peter giving a touching eulogy for his old boss, while also paying homage to Fisher’s best known role as Princess Leia Organa from Star Wars. Unfortunately, in classic Family Guy fashion, Peter gives his eulogy at the wrong funeral.

3. Brian Griffin - My criteria is the character has to have been killed and remain dead for the rest of the episode, and remain dead for at least another full episode. In season 12, Brian was hit by a car and died from his injuries. The grieving Griffins decide to get a new dog named Vinnie, and for the next two episodes, Vinnie replaces Brian in the theme song. However, at the end of “Christmas Guy,” Stewie miraculously brings Brian back via time travel, making all those crying viewers feel stupid for getting those “R.I.P. Brian” tattoos.

4. James Woods - Like Brian, he was axed and brought back. In the season 9 premiere “And Then There Were Fewer,” James Woods had become a born again Christian, and invites pretty much all of Quahog to a dinner party to make amends with everyone he’s ever wronged. The Griffins weren’t the only victims of his antics. Unfortunately, he was killed by TV news coanchor Diane Simmons after he dumped her for turning 40. However, he reappeared a season later, and explained that since he’s a Hollywood actor, he gets better health care than regular people, being given the life force of a 17 year old girl, raising him from the dead. Now he’s no longer in the show due to his real-life counterpart’s staunch conservatism and controversial tweets.

5. Thelma Griffin - Peter’s mother, who has actually had three voice actors, two of whom have passed away. She appeared in cutaways in season 2, voiced by the late Florence Stanley, but made several appearances in seasons 5 and 6, voiced by the late Phyllis Diller. In season 5, she reveals that she divorced Peter’s father and dated TV news anchor Tom Tucker for a bit. She then appeared in two more episodes informing Peter that his real father is a drunken Irish man named Mickey McFinnigan, and that Peter was actually born in Mexico when she tried to terminate her pregnancy after her affair with McFinnigan, resulting in Peter’s birth. When Phyllis Diller died, the creators decided to retire her character. She last appeared in a flashback scene, voiced by Alex Borstein, who voices Lois.

6. Francis Griffin - Peter’s devout Irish Catholic father, who puts his faith and his work above all else, including his own son. Francis disapproves of Peter’s lifestyle and hates Lois for being Protestant. He does, however, love Peter, even though he doesn’t like him at all. In “Peter’s Two Dads,” at Meg’s birthday party, Peter gets drunk and accidentally kills Francis. In the hospital, his last words were to tell his son he was a fat, stinkin’ drunk. The same episode reveals that Francis is actually not Peter’s real father, as Peter’s mother took a vacation in Ireland and had an affair with Mickey McFinnigan. Francis appears as a ghost to remind Peter that he is a fat, stinkin’ drunk, just like his father, and that motivates Peter to prove to Mickey that his is, in fact, Peter’s father.

7. Diane Simmons - Introduced in the beginning of the series as the Channel 5 Action News coanchor next to Tom Tucker, the pair started having fun and witty banter during their news segments. As the series progressed, however, their back-and-forth has become more hostile. In “And Then There Were Fewer,” she was the mastermind behind all the murders at James Woods’s dinner party, including Woods himself, Stephanie, Pricilla, Derek Wilcox, and Muriel Goldman. She was close to killing Lois too, before Stewie shoots Diane from a distance, causing her to fall to her death off the cliff into the rocks below. Stewie then declares that if anyone was gonna “take that bitch down,” it’d be him, as only he had the right to kill Lois.

8. Jonathan Weed - Peter’s old boss back at the Happy Go Lucky Toy Factory. He’s a boss first, and friend second. He fires Peter for negligence in the pilot after the latter shows up to work with a hangover. Of course, like all cartoons, when the main character loses their job, they end up getting it back in the end of the episode. Up until the Griffins invite Mr. Weed to dinner and end up getting Peter an upcoming promotion. The shock of the news causes Brian to choke on a dinner roll, and after having the Heimlich maneuver performed in him, the roll flies into Weed’s throat, causing him to choke to death. His death causes the toy factory to be demolished in his will, eliminating Peter’s job.

9. Doug- Hot take time: I NEVER cared for Doug. He was introduced as another toddler voiced by a mature man, who would share a few back-and-forth banters with Stewie, until the writers decided to make them rivals, because clearly we need another rivalry with a main character. It’s not like we already have Peter and Ernie, Peter and Carter, and Brian and Quagmire. Their rivalry reaches an all time high when they both run for an election for their daycare’s snack captain. Stewie ends up winning because he has revealed at the end of “The Candidate” that Doug has died in a commuter plane crash. He was a smug asshole and I’m indifferent to the fact that he died.

10. Muriel Goldman - Mort’s wife and Neil’s mother, both she and Mort were introduced when Meg ended up kissing Neil, and like all cartoons, the parents have to look EXACTLY identical to their kid! She was one of the last victims of Diane’s killing spree. Turns out she was not exactly missed by Neil. Or Mort for that matter. The only thing the latter missed about her was the fact that they were married.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Facts about Family Guy you probably didn’t know (or maybe you do!)

1. Creator/executive producer Seth MacFarlane was only 25 years old when the pilot episode, “Death Has A Shadow,” first aired in 1999, making him one of the youngest executive producers in history at the time!

2. Family Guy was based off a cartoon a young MacFarlane made in 1995 as a school project when he attended the Rhode Island School of Design, titled “Life of Larry.”

3. Meg Griffin has had three different voice actors: Rachel MacFarlane voiced her in the 1998 unaired pilot pitch, Lacey Chabert voiced her for the entirety of season 1, and a percent of season 2, and Mila Kunis, the current voice of Meg.

4. The giant chicken Peter is constantly fighting with is named Ernie. Their feud started way back in season 2 when Ernie gave Peter an expired coupon!

5. Seth based Brian entirely on himself. Brian speaks with Seth’s natural speaking voice, they’re both supporters of the Democratic Party, and they’re both atheists.

6. Even though Seth hasn’t written or directed an episode in over a decade, and despite that now his only contribution to the show is his voice work, he still has his work cut out for him! He voices Peter, Brian, Stewie, Quagmire, Ida, Tom Tucker, Seamus, Carter Pewterschmidt, Dr. Hartman, God, Jasper, and even the Kool-Aid Man!

7. When Seth Green auditioned for the voice of Chris, he was the only one who didn’t talk in a surfer voice. In fact, he auditioned using his Buffalo Bill impression!

8. Stewie’s sexual orientation has remained intentionally ambiguous throughout the show, but Seth MacFarlane himself has “comfirmed” the character to be gay, in an interview with Playboy Magazine no less!

9. Brian’s feud/“frenemy-ship” (I know that’s not a word) with Glenn Quagmire dates back to season 8’s “Jerome Is The New Black,” when Quagmire goes on a major tirade on why he hates his best friend’s dog. Brian ends up pouring gas in the fire near the end of the same season when he ends up having sex with Quagmire’s parent Ida after her gender affirmation surgery.

10. Peter’s third grade teacher, Mrs. Wilson, is confirmed to have died as she was seen in the boat with the other deceased characters in “Coma Guy.” Her death was due to Debbie Reynolds, who voiced the character in her only appearance, unfortunately passing away in 2016.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Breaking Down Quagmire’s Tirade Against Brian

“You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend’s wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard.”

Since almost the beginning of the show, Brian has been in love with Lois Griffin. There have been moments throughout the series that sees Brian trying to get with Lois, most notably in the episode “Play It Again, Brian,” when Brian tries to throw himself at her. This criticism towards Brian could be hypocritical on Quagmire’s part as he too tries to have sex with Lois. But in a later episode, he reveals to his parent Ida that he’s also in love with Lois.

Brian was a stray when he was found by the Griffins. When Brian was scheduled to be euthanized back in season 1 (and later season 17), Peter saves him from being put down.

Of course Brian poops in Peter’s yard; he’s a dog!

“And you’re such a sponge! You pay for nothing; you always say, “Oh, I’ll get you later,” but later never comes!”

This could reference the episode, “Patriot Games,” when Brian loses a $50 bet to Stewie, and defaults on his payment. As a result, he gets the ever-living shit beaten out of him twice. This wasn’t brought up on my first point, but throughout the show, among other side hustles for the sake of the episode or cutaway gags, Peter has worked three steady jobs at a toy factory, a fishing boat, and currently at a brewery. He makes Jack-shit, and probably most likely ended up buying Brian’s car. We’ll get to that later. My point is, Peter is the breadwinner of the house, and pays for everything.

“And what really bothers me, is you pretend you’re this deep guy that loves women for souls, but all you do is date bimbos! Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I’m honest about it! I don’t buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation on how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual. He wasn’t! He was a spoiled brat! That’s why you like him so much: he’s you! God, you’re pretentious!”

Brian’s longest lasting relationship was with a pretty airhead named Jillian Russel-Wilcox. Since their brutal breakup, Brian has tried to find love, but was only interested if she was smoking hot. Quagmire owns the fact that he dates women for their bodies, because he’s a sex-hound. Seriously, read The Catcher in the Rye. The protagonist, Holden Caulfield, is EXACTLY like Brian in every way.

Brian’s pretentiousness has been made even worse in recent seasons, where we see him act like he’s all sophisticated but really he’s just about as dumb as the rest of the Griffin family.

“And you delude yourself by thinking you’re some great writer, even though you’re terrible! You know, I should’ve known Sheryl Tiegs didn’t write me that more. She would’ve known there’s no A in the word “definite.””

BRIAN. IS. A. SHITTY. WRITER. Apparently, he can’t spell either. No wonder his novel did so poorly…

“And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should “legalize pot, man,” how big business is crushing the underclass, or how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you don’t to help?”

Brian actually did lead a campaign to legalize marijuana, but ended up leading another campaign to reverse the legalization so Carter would publish his infamous novel. And Brian along with Stewie has both destroyed the Superstore USA, so Brian has actually done a couple things.

“I work at the soup kitchen, Brian! Never see you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle!”

Case and point. Other than legalizing pot and destroying Quahog’s Superstore, Brian has not done diddly shit. Just grab a ladle!

“And by the way, driving a Prius doesn’t make you Jesus Christ!”

This is for ALL you hybrid drivers. YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. SHUT THE FUCK UP! I really like the South Park episode describing the attitudes of hybrid owners.

“Oh, wait! You don’t believe in Jesus Christ, or ANY religion for that matter! Because “religion is for idiots!” Well, who the hell are you to talk down on anyone?”

As an atheist, I’m gonna have to agree with Brian on this part. And I especially hate those “Jesus freaks” that are total assholes to those that drop as much as one f-bomb. Yeah, I went to Catholic school, and I did not enjoy one moment of that shit!

“You failed college twice, which isn’t nearly as bad as your father! How’s that son of yours you never see?”

I failed college a couple times. In fact, I actually JUST graduated at age 27.

Brian actively avoids his son Dylan! It isn’t until four seasons later he shows interest in him because he becomes part of the cast in a Disney Channel show, and Brian exploits Dylan’s fame to get a job in the writing room. Did I mention the name of the episode that shows that is “Brian Is A Bad Father?”

“But you what? I would forgive all of that, ALL OF IT, if you WEREN’T SUCH A BORE! That’s the worst if it, Brian: you’re just a big, sad, alcoholic bore!”

That one’s pretty self-explanatory. Emphasis on the “alcoholic” part!

“*sigh* Well, see you, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak!”

I hope you ordered something expensive, Quagmire! Fuck Brian!

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Other WTF characters:

Triborg - The last cyborg in the Lin Kuei, who can take the appearance (and fighting style) of Smoke, Cyrax, and Sektor. I’m case you feel nostalgic and wanna play the closest thing to the classic cyborgs

Bo’ Rai Cho - It’s not that he’s fat or constantly drunk, in fact, the Drunken Fist is an actual fighting style. And Raiden regards him as the greatest teacher of all time. Of course, in the 2nd timeline (MK 2011 - MK11), it’s been revealed that he was the one who taught the Shaolin Monks Liu Kang and Kung Lao. And his special moves? Puking and farting on his opponents…

Ferra/Torr - Okay, who the fuck thought of these characters MKX? Because the lineup is awesome! A big mother fucker, with a jockey riding on him? Two fighters for the price of one. They should’ve been the sub-bosses of the arcade ladder in MKX!

Weirdest Mortal Kombat Characters

1. Mokap - Don’t we already have a dickhead Hollywood actor in the roster? You know, Johnny Cage? This secret character know many different styles of martial arts, and knows Johnny very well. He was one of the secret characters that was added as a goof, but feels more like he should’ve been an alternate costume for Cage rather than an actual character.

2. Hsu Hao - Just because one black market crime syndicate isn’t enough, we have the leader of the Red Dragon, that rivals the Black Dragon. Hsu Hao is as stereotypical mustache-twirling villain as Dick Dastardly. And he’s not even in the least bit likable. Sure, Kano is absolutely unlikable, but his scumbag charm makes us love to hate him.

3. Chameleon and Khameleon - Honestly, why do we need these ninja characters when we have a literal spectrum of ninjas, like Ermac, Skarlet, Tremor, Scorpion, Tanya, Reptile, Jade, Sub-Zero, Kitana, Rain, Mileena, Smoke, and Noob Saibot? These two characters always change color palettes and fighting stances of several ninja characters, and their special move? Camouflage. Reptile already does that.

4. Moloch - Since when did we need Orcs in Mortal Kombat? Oh, wait, he’s an Oni. My bad! He’s noy the only Oni on this list, but Moloch in particular felt more like something written in a J.R.R. Tolkien book or Warcraft character rather than a Mortal Kombat fighter.

5. Nitara - We got ninjas, cyborgs, Orcs (sorry, Oni), so do we really need vampires? Not to mention she’s the only vampire on the roster (Skarlet’s a blood mage, stark difference between the two). And she only appears in one Mortal Kombat title. Well, technically two, but Armageddon has literally EVERY character that’s ever been in a Mortal Kombat game up to that point. She was also in the 2021 movie, but was dispatched quick as she was introduced.

6. Drahmin - Another Orc. Oni. While granted, the last one I mentioned is actually a sub-boss in Deadly Alliance, this one, well, looks like he’s into kink, sporting a mask and just his undies. He does have a knife in his back, and if you pull it out, he’ll go berserk!

7. Meat - He’s literally what his name is. Just a walking pile of muscle and bones, no skin! Like Mokap, he was added as a goof. According to the lore, he was a failed experiment by Shang Tsung. I’m sorry, I just can’t fathom the idea that a literal evil genius would make a mistake in his experiments!

8. Motaro - Just what we need, a centaur! Or a Minotaur… depends on what Mortal Kombat you’re playing. He was a centaur first introduced as the sub-boss of Mortal Kombat 3, and was actually playable in Armageddon, but became bipedal rather than a quadruped. The reasoning according to Midway was because he was cursed by the Shokans.

9. Dark Kahn - Remember that crossover with DC? No, not DC characters as guest characters on Mortal Kombat, and vice versa. No, in 2008, we got Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. The big baddie of each universe, Shao Kahn and Darkseid, got sucked into an anomaly, merging into one ungodly creature. Um yeah this game didn’t need to happen. But thankfully it gave birth to NetherRealm’s sister series, Injustice.

10. EVERY. GUEST. CHARACTER. - Beginning with Mortal Kombat 2011, there have been characters from other works of fiction available as DLC, called guest characters. It all started with Freddy Krueger in Mortal Kombat 2011, and a PlayStation exclusive in Kratos from the God of War franchise. Other guest characters in Mortal Kombat X and Mortal Kombat 11 include Alien, Predator, Leatherface, Jason Voorhees, Spawn, the Joker, Rambo, T-800 Terminator, and RoboCop. Joker isn’t just some carry-over from the Injustice series; he’s actually a pretty deadly fighter with a pretty sick Fatality.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Weirdest Mortal Kombat Characters

1. Mokap - Don’t we already have a dickhead Hollywood actor in the roster? You know, Johnny Cage? This secret character know many different styles of martial arts, and knows Johnny very well. He was one of the secret characters that was added as a goof, but feels more like he should’ve been an alternate costume for Cage rather than an actual character.

2. Hsu Hao - Just because one black market crime syndicate isn’t enough, we have the leader of the Red Dragon, that rivals the Black Dragon. Hsu Hao is as stereotypical mustache-twirling villain as Dick Dastardly. And he’s not even in the least bit likable. Sure, Kano is absolutely unlikable, but his scumbag charm makes us love to hate him.

3. Chameleon and Khameleon - Honestly, why do we need these ninja characters when we have a literal spectrum of ninjas, like Ermac, Skarlet, Tremor, Scorpion, Tanya, Reptile, Jade, Sub-Zero, Kitana, Rain, Mileena, Smoke, and Noob Saibot? These two characters always change color palettes and fighting stances of several ninja characters, and their special move? Camouflage. Reptile already does that.

4. Moloch - Since when did we need Orcs in Mortal Kombat? Oh, wait, he’s an Oni. My bad! He’s noy the only Oni on this list, but Moloch in particular felt more like something written in a J.R.R. Tolkien book or Warcraft character rather than a Mortal Kombat fighter.

5. Nitara - We got ninjas, cyborgs, Orcs (sorry, Oni), so do we really need vampires? Not to mention she’s the only vampire on the roster (Skarlet’s a blood mage, stark difference between the two). And she only appears in one Mortal Kombat title. Well, technically two, but Armageddon has literally EVERY character that’s ever been in a Mortal Kombat game up to that point. She was also in the 2021 movie, but was dispatched quick as she was introduced.

6. Drahmin - Another Orc. Oni. While granted, the last one I mentioned is actually a sub-boss in Deadly Alliance, this one, well, looks like he’s into kink, sporting a mask and just his undies. He does have a knife in his back, and if you pull it out, he’ll go berserk!

7. Meat - He’s literally what his name is. Just a walking pile of muscle and bones, no skin! Like Mokap, he was added as a goof. According to the lore, he was a failed experiment by Shang Tsung. I’m sorry, I just can’t fathom the idea that a literal evil genius would make a mistake in his experiments!

8. Motaro - Just what we need, a centaur! Or a Minotaur… depends on what Mortal Kombat you’re playing. He was a centaur first introduced as the sub-boss of Mortal Kombat 3, and was actually playable in Armageddon, but became bipedal rather than a quadruped. The reasoning according to Midway was because he was cursed by the Shokans.

9. Dark Kahn - Remember that crossover with DC? No, not DC characters as guest characters on Mortal Kombat, and vice versa. No, in 2008, we got Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. The big baddie of each universe, Shao Kahn and Darkseid, got sucked into an anomaly, merging into one ungodly creature. Um yeah this game didn’t need to happen. But thankfully it gave birth to NetherRealm’s sister series, Injustice.

10. EVERY. GUEST. CHARACTER. - Beginning with Mortal Kombat 2011, there have been characters from other works of fiction available as DLC, called guest characters. It all started with Freddy Krueger in Mortal Kombat 2011, and a PlayStation exclusive in Kratos from the God of War franchise. Other guest characters in Mortal Kombat X and Mortal Kombat 11 include Alien, Predator, Leatherface, Jason Voorhees, Spawn, the Joker, Rambo, T-800 Terminator, and RoboCop. Joker isn’t just some carry-over from the Injustice series; he’s actually a pretty deadly fighter with a pretty sick Fatality.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

South Park Facts You Probably Didn’t Know

1. The pilot episode, “Cartman Gets An Anal Probe,” was the only episode that creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone animated entire on their own, using cardboard paper cutouts and stop-motion. All subsequent episodes were animated digitally.

2. Ever since streaming moved to Max, five episodes are missing from the streaming service: “Super Best Friends,” “Cartoon Wars, pts I & II,” “200,” and “201.” All episodes were pulled due to the depiction of Muhammad.

3. PC Principal, who replaced Principal Victoria as the principal of South Park Elementary as of season 19, is actually named Peter Charles.

4. Terrence and Phillip were made to be a parody of South Park itself. When the show first aired, people have criticized it for being a crudely animated TV show that consisted of nothing but fart jokes. Terrance & Phillip, the show within a show, is a crudely animated TV show that consisted of nothing but fart jokes!

5. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut has a total of 399 curse words, as any film at the time that had at least 400 curse words would be given the NC-17 rating, and Paramount couldn’t distribute films with that rating. Just one curse word away from losing that R rating.

6. In the earlier seasons, upon Kenny’s inevitable gruesome death in every episode, Stan and Kyle would shout “Oh my God! They killed Kenny!,” and “You bastards!,” respectively. The “bastards” they refer to are Stone and Parker themselves. Stan and Kyle are calling the creators out for killing Kenny, those bastards!

7. Before the season 5 episode “Kenny Dies,” Parker and Stone originally intended to kill off Kyle, but eventually settled for Kenny since they were running out of ways to kill him every episode. This death was originally going to be “permanent,” as he was absent for the majority of season 6, before finally reappearing in the season 6 finale, “Red Sleigh Down,” for the last scene.

8. Singer/songwriter Isaac Hayes, the voice behind Jerome “Chef” McElroy was originally rumored to have left the show due to the episode “Trapped In The Closet” poking fun at Scientology, as Hates was a Scientologist himself. Hayes’s Scientology entourage has written to the creators, supposedly on Hayes’s behalf, asking for Chef’s voice being released from the show. It was later revealed his son Isaac III that Hayes had actually left due to suffering a stroke. Chef’s final appearance before the characters death was voiced using past recordings, making the character sound like a deviant brainwashed by a cult.

9. Trey Parker even admitted that the “ectoplasm” scene in “Over Logging” was “the most offensive shot he’s ever done in the whole show.” When even the creators have said their jokes have crossed the line, that’s really saying something.

10. The “Cartoon Wars” two-parter is a roast against Family Guy. Upon the airing of those two episodes, South Park was given praise from the creators of The Simpsons and King of the Hill, with Simpsons creators sending Stone and Parker flowers, and King of the Hill creators stating that South Park was “doing God’s work.” Even though those two episodes showed how much Stone and Parker hated Family Guy, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane actually praised the two-parter and actually agreed with their statement on what the show actually was, minus the writing staff being manatees. To this day, MacFarlane remains a good sport about this, despite Stone and Parker’s blatant disrespect for him.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

10 Favorite Family Guy Episodes

Again, like the South Park list, it’s not in any particular order. Also, it is kinda hard to pick 10, since there are over 400 episodes as of making this list! The newer seasons have a bunch of stinkers, so it’s a little easier this time around, but not by that much.

1. Road To The Multiverse - Most “Road To” episodes are pretty good, but this one really blows the others away. We’re taken on a trip through many of the infinite universes, including a Robot Chicken universe, and even a Disney universe. And who can forget “It’s A Wonderful Day For Pie?”

2. Da Boom - Who remembers the Y2K panic? The Griffins were apparently the only ones that were prepared for the nuclear apocalypse. But Peter establishes his own community and it goes surprisingly well until Stewie’s mutant octopus babies destroy the town. This also marks the debut of the longest running gag in the show: Peter and Ernie’s Chicken Fights. Seth MacFarlane even said his favorite moment was from this episode, when Peter feeds his TV beans when he sees Tom Selleck!

3. Yug Ylimaf - When Brian meddles with Stewie’s time machine to get laid, he accidentally causes time to reverse! We see Family Guy’s most infamous moments played out in reverse, such as Peter falling down the stairs, one of Cleveland’s “No no no!” moments, and the infamous ipecac puking contest! Needless to say, this was something Stewie’s and Brian did not want to go through again, but in reverse it’d be much more gross!

4. Family Guy Viewer Mail - I love a good ol’ What If/anthology episode! From the start of the show, Family Guy was given suggestions from the fans on episode ideas, and there were two episodes in the series that have answered some suggestions. They show Peter and the guys as the Little Rascals, the Griffins having superpowers, Peter having no bones, everything Peter touches turning into Robin Williams, British Family Guy, and everything being shown from Stewie’s point of view. These make for some hilarious moments in the show.

5. Hell Comes To Quahog - This episode has a similar concept to South Park’s “Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes.” A mega-store similar to Walmart and K-Mart, Superstore USA, opens in Quahog and takes away everyone’s jobs. Peter and Chris both lose their jobs due to Superstore USA having a brewery and paper route respectively. Also, the Superstore takes away everyone’s electricity to meet its power demands. Needless to say, as soon as the Superstore was destroyed, everything was back to normal. Also, who can forget “‘Meg!’ ‘*pbft*’”?

6. Pet****d - I’m not even gonna say the title. Peter is a moron. I think that’s already been established since the beginning of the show. But he wins a game of Trivial Pursuit thanks to Lois giving him the preschool questions. Of course, that makes him believe he is actually a genius. When Brian has Peter take an IQ test for the MacArthur Fellows Grant, the latter is shocked when the test results reveal that not only is he not a genius, but he is mentally challenged. Yeah, this episode aired in 2005, so some much more outdated language was used. Of course Peter uses this as an excuse to do what he wants, thinking he could get away with it, but this costs him his children after he accidentally spills hot grease on Lois. My favorite part is when Brian profanely tells Peter “I told you so” about not being a genius, but, YEAH!! IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, FUCKWAD!

7. E. Peterbus Unum - Can’t Touch Me! Instant classic. In this episode, after not being able to get a pool, Peter finds his property isn’t part of the US. Naturally, this prompts Peter to declare his house its own country named Petoria. And in classic Family Guy fashion, this goes about as well as one would expect. After being under siege from the US Army, Peter “invades” the US by breaking into his next door neighbor Joe’s yard, earning him the respect from the rest of the United Nations.

8. Back To The Pilot - Family Guy has been on the air since 1999, save for two cancellations, with the last of which lasting for 2 and a half years! Needless to say, the show has visually come a long way the past 24 years! In season 10, Brian and Stewie travel back in time to January 31, 1999, when the pilot episode “Death Has A Shadow” first aired. The world’s visuals were primitive, Meg was voiced by Lacey Chabert, Peter and the guys were watching a television set that’s not even plugged in, Stewie’s got a more diabolical genius vocabulary, Peter’s eye goes over his nose due to an animation error, everyone just sits there doing nothing during a cutaway, and the aspect ratio is in 4:3. Brian informs his past self about the biggest tragedy in America, which hails him as a hero, but causes Civil War II, and eventually a post-apocalyptic CGI future with Joe being a Terminator. Of course, Stewie and Brian have to go back and fix everything by showing up right before their counterparts do, erasing their timeline in the process.

9. Death Is A Bitch - Death pays Peter a visit. No, he literally pays him a visit! After Death sprains his ankle, the Griffins have to nurse him back to health. Of course, with Death incapacitated, no one can die, and Peter, being the idiot he is, drunkenly blabs it to everyone. Death then forced Peter to do his job for him, since the natural order of things has been disrupted with no one being able to die. Also, Stewie just can’t wait till Death gets better, as his attempt on Lois’s life has failed due to Death not lurking in the shadows. This marks the first appearance of Death as a recurring character, and the only time he was voiced by the late Norm Macdonald, whom I liked better than Adam Corolla voicing him in subsequent appearances.

10. I Dream Of Jesus - A WELL A BIRD BIRD BIRD, THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Ok, got that out of my system. Peter’s favorite song, “Surfin’ Bird,” annoys the hell out of everyone, prompting Stewie and Brian to steal it and destroy in a shot by shot remake of the printer scene from Office Space. This causes Peter to find Jesus. Literally find Jesus working at a record store when looking for copies of “Surfin’ Bird” to replace the one that was stolen. Of course, Peter reveals Jesus to the world, causing Jesus to reach celebrity status overnight. Of course the Hollywood fame gets to Jesus’ head, as he acts like a diva towards Peter. To say that many Christians did not take too kindly to this portrayal of the Messiah would be an understatement, but at least it wasn’t as bad as the way he’s depicted in a much later episode…