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david bowie fans don't want bowie biopics we want an album movie of the rise and fall of ziggy stardust and the spiders from mars a la pink floyd's the wall

UR SO RIGHT

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Eltonathan Hercules Jonathan

Elton Johns real name being Reginald Dwight is fucked up did anyone ever think of that

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Happy Laughing Gnome Day

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😀

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i'll bite, tell us this theory

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE I MADE A WHOLE ESSAY ABOUT IT.

Jigsaw to Willy Wonka to Labyrinth pipeline

(disclaimer there are some spoilers to each movie, minor ones but still.)

Saw, both Chocolate Factory movies, and Labyrinth, all vastly different movies, or are they?. When you truly think about it, the main antagonists of these films- Jigsaw, Wonka, and Jareth- appear to have more in common than we know.

Willy Wonka is Jigsaw

Now, before you start calling me weird for making this comparison, hear me out. Jigsaw’s whole schtick is to bring retribution and punish those who have sinned, he does this by creating elaborate traps specifically designed for his victims in vague correlation to their “crimes” (aside from a few outliers). Who else can we think of that has brought about specific punishments for specific sins? Willy Wonka.

In the 2005 remake of the Chocolate Factory film, each ticket holder gets 'eliminated’ and punished in very unique and alarmingly specific ways, i.e. Agustus and the chocolate river, Violet and the bubble gum, Veruca and the squirrels, and Mike with the television. Each event pertains to them specifically, almost as if Wonka knew who the lucky winners were and planned the tour around their punishments, targeting them. The oompa loompas even had songs for the punishments that were unique to each child as if they knew and rehearsed ahead of time. Wonka spent time planning this tour specifically for these children in order to teach them lessons, similar to the way Jigsaw will carefully observe and study his victims so he can put them in their traps accordingly.

Now, you may be thinking “yeah okay that is kinda similar but I don’t see how that connects Wonka to Jigsaw in any way?”. Well I’ve got your answer: Motive. They each have a goal for their victims and a reason for why they’re doing what they do. They both share the motive of teaching people a lesson, and also testing to see who is the most ‘worthy’ of survival. Jigsaw’s goal was to make people appreciate the life they have, given his own newfound appreciation for life after a failed suicide attempt. He didn't consider himself to be in the wrong, similar to Wonka, whose ultimate goal was to find an heir for the factory, which is why he set up the golden ticket hunt in the first place, as he explained to Charlie later in the film. This is just in the Chocolate Factory remake though, so what about the original? Is Gene Wilder’s eccentric chocolatier deranged enough to be comparable to Jigsaw?

OG WONKA VS NEW WONKA

So, we know that Depp’s Wonka needed an heir to the factory, and set up tests and punishments for contestants who were 'unworthy’ of the position, but what about in the original film? There didn't seem to be any driving motive that led to Wonka to put together the tour, or eliminate anyone. He had no lesson to teach and no need to fulfill throughout the film, how come?

Because he didn’t need any reasons or explanation for his actions. He didn't carefully plan and cultivate punishments for the children, he didn't take them to places in the factory as a way to target anyone. He didn't do anything with the intention of eliminating contestants. He did this all just because he wanted to and could. The fizzy lifting drink? he didn't set that up as a trap for Charlie, he just had it because he wanted it. He created a drink that would make you float into the air, and seemed unalarmed when Charlie and his grandpa almost died from it, not because he planned it or was expecting it, but because he knew it could happen and didn't think much of it.

It felt more like he put the kids into these positions because he could, no other reason. No intention of teaching them, he just wanted to see what would happen since he had the power to do so. This makes him unpredictable and capable of anything he can imagine, so in comparison to ‘05 Wonka and Jigsaw, he’s way more horrifying. He’s the type of guy who would just run into traffic with you because he had no regards for safety and laugh when you ended up getting hit by a car and dying since that was a possibility anyway, New Wonka would plan ahead, take you to a specific crosswalk and wait until the very last second so he could push you in front of an oncoming bus and watch you die.

Does this comparison make you think of anyone else?

The Baby Stealers

Yep, that’s right! Good ol’ Jareth and his predecessor The Owl King!

(Now, if you haven't read the labyrinth coronation comics I highly recommend and suggest them otherwise you’ll be very lost and also this may spoil both the movie and the comics for you so.. fair warning.)

ANYWAYS. The Owl King and J.D’s Wonka both have the exact same motive. They both want an heir since they’re old bitches. The Owl King just goes about getting his heir in a different manner (kidnapping babies instead of murdering- i mean testing and eliminating- children) Jareth on the other hand? he didn't need an heir, he’s a spry young fellow, 1300 years isn't old in the underground i guess. The only reason he takes Toby is because Sarah asked him to, which meant that he could since he had permission. He could've taken Toby and went “no backsies'’ and then left but he decided to give Sarah the challenge of beating his labyrinth, why?

Because he can! Because he wanted to see what would happen, the only time he ever comes up with plans to stop Sarah is when he knows that she’s close to beating him and he doesn't like it. He’s just doing all that stuff for shits and giggles since he knows he has power over everyone else. Also he’s a creep

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS! I CANNOT BELIEVE I PUT EFFORT INTO THIS.

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to JESTÉRRE FOULIOUX the song "i'm deranged" is called "I am completely normal"

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THATS ABOUT THE TIME SHE WALKED AWAYYYYY FROM MEEEEEEEEEE

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NOT THE ROLLING STONES RELEASING A NEW ALBUM WITH NEW SONGS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 18 YEARS ON MY FUCKING 23RD BIRTHDAY WHY DOES MICK JAGGER HAUNT ME IN THIS WAY

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I put on a movie for background noise and zoned out for all of it and the fucking credit song was something in the air

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the fact that david was a fan of peaky blinders is wild to me tbh

that was so real of him tbh

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Dog sitting and watching scary movies please ask me things 🥰

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Jennifer Connelly

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David Bowie as Julian Priest and The Host

The Hunger TV Series (1999-2000) 3 of 3

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how am I celebrating mick jaggers birthday you ask? well does anyone remember that hate manifestation journal-

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Jennifer Connelly

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Sarahs ballgown in The Labyrinth in 4k