bowtieblues

[bowtieblues]

hello character who is desperate to be a good person; i want to play a game. in front of you is the one person you will never be able to save. you have the rest of your life to make peace with this. there are no defined repercussions if you fail, but we both know you're going to attempt to win regardless. your time starts now

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I get lost in moments with you.

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You! 🌹🌹

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can someone recommend some beginner normal behaviors for someone looking to become normal

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i actually don’t know how to socialize i just mimic what other people say.

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“Why’d you do that?” Please remember that I am using what I’ve seen in humans to mimic them

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were you perpetually and exclusively praised for what you could one day become, instead of what you were, leading you to a lifetime of feeling like you were not only never good enough, but that the best thing about you was a future that would never come, that constantly felt like it was slipping away? Did you become so afraid of closing doors, of losing that one good thing, that potential, that you stagnated at the crossroads until your life began to rot around you and the asphalt ground to gravel and the roads grew ever rougher, the doors closing one by one even as you tried in vain to keep them open, instead of choosing a path and committing to a direction for your own progress? Did you watch the best thing about you, the one thing you were praised for, slowly collapse in your arms as you tried desperately and hopelessly to save it, finding yourself kneeling in the ruins of your unexplored promise, looking for a way out, and wondering if there was no where else to go? no way forward? When someone tells you they're proud of you, that they love you for who you are, that what you are is good enough, do you cry? do you struggle to believe them? do you have to try your damnedest just to make yourself hear the words? Do you wonder if, one day, you'll learn to be happy with who you are?

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[GUY WHO CANNOT FORM NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH ANYONE EVER VOICE] this is good, i think. This will work & be good for me

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I relied on romantic maladaptive daydreaming for survival as a child, and have been love sick ever since

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– K

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you're the only one i could ever love.

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sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

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every day there is a deep lingering dread

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i miss everything. all the time. and i will never get any of it back

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