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When you and your friend are both nd and they really need attention but you don't have he energy to give it
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having bpd and being in a relationship is so terrifying? you want to hide your feelings, you want to seem normal so they don’t leave you but its so hard. theres so much happening constantly and its scary. if you internalize it all you start to resent them for not knowing youre in pain. if you express it all theyll probably end up hating you and getting overwhelmed and youll feel manipulative. and finding a balance of knowing when to share your feelings and when to keep quiet is almost impossible. youre almost constantly scared theyre going to leave you, that theyre going to become fed up with your mental illnesses and find someone better. no amount of reassurance is enough. the small things they do hurt you so deeply but theyll never know. you feel unlovable because of who you are and what you cant help feeling. you feel like a burden and disgusting and unworthy of ever being close to people and it hurts.
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th e fake slain e showed up in th e recommended blog s even thou gh i blocked th em :) :) :)
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peanut butter is weird
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imm gonna take a shower n hopefull y get this perfume off
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so anyways i just sprayed perfume on my face
#deathmemes#i think i did it to get rid of the smell or at least try but#i sprayed it. on my face. wh
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i miigh t be hallucinating again and i. this is fin e
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im hearing lil voices again Great
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we.....do we deserve to suffer? because its beginning to feel like it......
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stop misreading mentally ill ppls fear of abandonment/break downs as abusive behaviour 2k15
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Conversation
me: i may have an extreme fear of abandonment but ive never been abandoned!!
therapist: ok so tell me about your childhood
me: my brothers needed a lot of therapy and care when i was younger and i was expected to be responsible and independent from a young age, and from first to fourth grades i didn't really have friends
therapist: that's abandonment
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u ever clean your room and temporarily feel neurotypical cus it’s so clean and nice
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i love having deteriorating health.....
#deathmemes#also i feel awful for not being more involved#in the mogeko drama going on#and supporting pyo more#but i literally cant involve myself anymore#without it being really bad for me
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some casual and formal satans
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