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Prez’s Predictions 2018/19

Goal Party

A lovely man outside of the game, some say, and a moral-less shit in it, Kam Thandi paired up with the perennial success whore and all round pretentiously uninterested in football princess, James Midwinter, in an unfortunately successful double act, that finally enabled him to get his hands on ThisGame’s ultimate prize. Now El Leech has his taste of success he will certainly stop at nothing to suck it dry. With 6 stars retained from the double winning side, Goal Party have brought in midfield dynamo Keita along with the talent of England present, Dele All, and the talent of England past, Theo Walcott, to add to solid looking side. Forwards is seemingly where they will have the most headaches. Gabriel Jesus’ unreliable game time means faith will have to be shown in Ayoze Perez and Callum Wilson to lead the line some weeks. That or they could do what no manager has done in half a decade and play Cesc a lone frontman. Whatever it is, it’s their headache to deal with, one which they will no doubt prey on the weak managers that have strayed from the herd to solve.

Prez’s Prospects: Title Contender (BPFFL Champion Odds 2/1)

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Shogun City

After losing his crown last season to a filthy enemy and a bitter rival, the Shoguns have recruited an army of assassins in an attempt to recapture their sacred honour. Despite winning the Kam Thandi worthlessly coverted accolade of highest scorer last season, the Shogun boss has only one goal in his mind this term. With the services of Salah, Eriksen, Aubameyang, Mustafi, Van Dijk, Zaha and Josh King all retained, the Shogun boss has further recruited Richarlison, Willian, Fabinho and all round big man Alexander Sorloth to begin the assault. An all round balanced side, despite an worrying amount of players from the South Coast, should see them mount a title challenge once again this season.

Prez’s Prospects: Title Contender (BPFFL Champion Odds 3/1)

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AC Cosa Nostra

AC Cosa Nostra’s quest for a second title goes on this season, after last year somehow floundering despite the talents of De Bruyne, Alexis, Aguero...and a hugely mistimed purchase of Morata. But after a summer of antics that would make Spider from Goodfellas proud, AC have beefed up significantly for this season. A swift pre-BMB purchase of Ozil, a back-stabbing +£1m swoop for Vertonghen and a sneaky bid for David Silva have De Lucas’s men looking stronger...but depth is an issue. If anyone can stop Shoguns from lifting the title, AC have it in their means with 5 bonafide points monsters in their squad.

Prediction: Prez’s Prospects: Title Contender (BPFFL Champion Odds 4/1)

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Allardyce 100

The silent apple-cart upsetters return after a historic debut season - never has a team shocked the big boys as much as Allardyce 100. Last season they ran both Shoguns and double-winners Goal Party so close that people (Thandi) started to lose their everyday mentals...but now the question remains - was it all just a flash in the pan? Manager Twist has a lot to do to squash the stigma, and has gone about his summer business in a truly ‘ball’s out the bath’ manner. Whoever said don’t build your team on new talent clearly didn’t talk to A100 - their squad is full of FIFTEEN players who’ve moved or are new to the Premier League. A feat never been done before, it now remains to be seen if this recipe is one for success...or middling ambitions that will result in ridicule and name-calling.

Prediction: Prez’s Prospects: Play-offs (BPFFL Champion Odds 5/1)

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Athletic Shoulders

You can say a lot of things about the angriest man in the BPFFL, but one thing you can’t say is that Ridge doesn’t know how to build a squad. Shoulders every season seem to construct a solid foundation to build upon...but always seem to be missing those certain stellar names that can carry you to silverware. Last season saw AS sit comfortably above the Pippo spot, with a quirky habit of upsetting the title chasers. This season is looks like more of the same...but with even more quality across the board. You can liken the squad to Death by 100 Pin Pricks (ironic, as the manager can be a massive prick when The Killers headline a festival) - if the 73 average of Matic and Jones don’t get you, then the 72 averages from the rest of his players may well do. Bar a ridiculous signing in Lanzini (RIP), Shoulders should be able to deal with the stresses of the season...but can Arnautovic, Tosun and Ramsey lift them towards silverware?

Prediction: Prez’s Prospects: Play-offs (BPFFL Champion Odds 7/1)

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FC Zidanditory

Another season passes and another season that is one long escape act to avoid being Pippo. It’s a relatively low objective to have at the start of the season. However, with the depth of a roadside grave and a side built on one sides entire defence and midfield all resting on Sadio Mane and 52 million pound strike force of Andre Gary and Jermain Defoe. Avoiding Pippo was somewhat a miracle. It was even more miraculous that for the first few months that he somehow led the whole league. This campaign, the side looks far more balanced. The number of Burnley players has been increased in defence (5) + Kyle Walker. Mane has some help in Eden Hazard if he is a Chelsea player come September, Townsend and Ndidi, with Benteke leading the line. There maybe no depth whatsoever but if the sun continues to shine out of this gob he may not even need it.

Prediction: Prez’s Prospects: Play-offs (BPFFL Champion Odds 7/1)

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Draycott Albion United

In seasons past, Draycott’s penchant for football knowledge has given them sparks of form to rejoice in...but also massive lulls in form that lead to the dreading title of Pippo. Last year such a calamity was avoided, despite huge purchases of bench-warmers Morata and Lacazette. This year though, Harper’s men are a different animal entirely. Shitting out in the BMBs has lead Harper to a stellar Auction Day armed with the wealth to build a strong side (on paper). Blue note pads may be a thing of the past, but football knowledge is forever - four signings from new boys Wolves and Mitrovic and Wood up top highlight Draycott’s season ahead. Add to the mix purchases of solid performers like Siggy, Ben Davies and Mahrez and you have a side that could well make a run at the usual contenders. Depth may be an issue if injuries kick in, but Harper has a season ahead where he can enjoy the fruits of his labour instead of sending out rumblings that he may quit the league.

Prediction: Prez’s Prospects: Pippo Play-offs (BPFFL Champion Odds 8/1)

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FC Pimp My Side

After finally being freed of Pippos shackles last season Hugh Bates could finally stop planning for next season and focus on the current campaign. Much like last season, if he is to have good one it all rests on one mans shoulders. Half of the clubs budget was spent retaining the services of Harry Kane who was a bargain at 123m saving himself a cool 50 million on last year. That was ploughed straight into a strike partner in Jamie Vardy. There is certainly a very patriotic core to the squad with Calvert-Llewin and Andy Carroll in his attack, Winks, Cork, Maddison and Lingard in the midfield and Fredericks, Maitland-Niles and Trippier at the back.

With Kane and Vardy on form there is enough of a support act behind to offer a challenge to plenty of opponents in the coming campaign.

Prediction: Prez’s Prospects: Pippo Play-offs (BPFFL Champion Odds 9/1)

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Pippo United

Someone called him desperate, others destitute and his own fam downright despicable. That’s how many reacted to this financiers awful trading last season which left the team bankrupt of talent and on a slippery slope to insolvency or even worse, Pippo. A noobish mistake with disastrous consequence which should be a warning to all those who plan for next season. The kamikaze plan left Barely Athletic no more, unable to reserve a single soul and just the warmth of a bank vault load of cash to rebuild this summer with. The BMBs certainly started off shakily but was saved by the midfield signings of mainstays Kante and Fred and the most expensive strikeforce in the games history with the duo Lukaku and Lacazette amounting to a 195 million. Will it be enough to save them from a similar fate this term? Maybe, just maybe. Goals outside of the front two will be hard to come but they maybe enough if he’s able to field 11 each week.

Prediction: Prez’s Prospects: Pippo Play-offs (BPFFL Champion Odds 10/1)

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Fever Pitch 106

His first season was a harsh introduction to the world of the most ruthless fantasy football enterprise. Pietro De Luca came in with a big reputation, a godfather of the Italian game, predicted to leave a lot of sides sleeping with the fishes. However, a over reliance on fellow countrymen in Darmian, Ogbonna and Gabbiadini coupled with a penchant for players from struggling Premier League sides left him at the foot of the league for the entire campaign. Fortunately for this De Luca there was a league lemming that fell on the Pippo sword destined for him. Having dodged that, last season was not to be repeated. Fever Pitch struggled in the BMBs and it was down to the auction to salvage a side to compete. However, with arguably the leagues best keeper, Maguire, Sokratis and Alexander-Arnold at the back, Rashford, Henderson and Pedro in the midfield and Morata and Austin upfront it’s certainly a more balanced side. If some of the rotational players can cement a regular starting berth then Fever Pitch may have enough to avoid sweating it out on the final day.

Prediction: Prez’s Prospects: Pippo Play-offs (BPFFL Champion Odds 12/1)

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