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“Ooohoh, you aaaalll fucked up.” This one is dedicated specifically to @izayaryuzaki for reblogging all of the Vagabond art I’ve done so many time I can’t even count??  Here’s another one for you, friend ;)

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fake ah ryan where the crew dies and he’s the last one standing.

fake ah ryan where the crew lives on inside his head, hallucinations that flicker in and out and change depending on his mood.

fake ah ryan where a version of geoff ramsey mocks strangers inside his head, tells a raunchy joke every now and again, laughs at him whenever he orders a diet coke at a bar, tells him with a cold rage he should break that guy’s hand for talking about chicks like that, whines about how he never does anything fun these days and tells him to lighten the fuck up asshole while wiping blood out of his moustache.

fake ah ryan where a version of jeremy dooley yells out to hit the gas and take that sweet ramp over there, and sure it’s not really a ramp, just a truck hauling a reeeeally conveniently angled boat, but you can totally make it, tries to convince him to do a quick u-turn with a lane of traffic barreling towards him while subtly straightening a bullet-riddled cowboy hat.

fake ah ryan where a version of jack pattillo calls him a dumbass every time he actually listens to jeremy, reminds him to eat when he hasn’t for days, gently nudges his thoughts toward running water when he’s becoming dehydrated, warns him that five minutes in a stolen chopper are all he can afford and whoops as they sail over the pacific ocean, even if every time she raises shattered arms in exhilaration, you can see the bones peeking out.

fake ah ryan where a version of michael jones mutters vindictively at every stranger who bumps into him, cuts him off, cuts in line; groans whenever ryan decides to be the bigger man in a situation, reminds him how fucking good it felt to bring a baseball bat down on some asshole’s head, promises that a dirty look is a grave insult and spews abuse with every punch that doesn’t land, sneers at every man bun in starbucks as he runs a blackened hand across the cinders where his curly hair used to be.

fake ah ryan where a version of ray narvaez jr pipes up out of the blue when he can’t sleep about how it’s fucking weird that no one’s ever actually written an article about area 51 right, repeats halo in an oppressive monotone loop and cheers ironically when he finally picks up the game, throws out less-than-PC comments from time to time, laughs when someone trips and falls and wipes away all the filthy ocean water that comes spilling out of his mouth when he does.

fake ah ryan where a version of gavin free scoffs as he picks out a shirt, coaxes him into telling the barista that he likes her apron pin in order to fluster her enough that she forgets to ring up the pastry, encourages him to help the lady next door with her groceries and make small talk with her so she’ll think of him when she next bakes cookies and has extras, reminds him that the bloke down the street has a crush on him and he could potentially get a few cheap meals by playing house, laughs at him when he flubs a word, as if gavin could get any real words out from his snapped neck.

fake ah ryan where a version of lindsay tuggey points out that it’s fourth of july and he could totally light up like thirty fireworks at once with no problem, encourages him to help the lady next door with her groceries simply because she seemed nice and she’s got some adorable kittens in the garage that look super soft and fluffy, tells him he should steal a pool floatie shaped like a unicorn from the local 7-11 while tossing her own head from hand to hand like a juggling ball.

fake ah ryan where a version of trevor collins wonders loudly about the quality of the zip ties he’s buying, insists he tests them out on the guy with the shittily dyed blue hair because ‘come on, man, look at me! i did better than that! it’s a crime!’, rattles off quick answers to questions not even yet fully formed, points out the obvious answer to a solution that ryan was grossly overthinking, comments on every near miss like he’s watching a sports game and through it all keeps trying to smooth his hair over the missing parts of his skull like it will hide the damage.

fake ah ryan with an army of the dead living on inside his head, fake ah ryan who is fine, just fine, fake ah ryan who can’t let them die just yet, because they’re the only family he’s got, you see.

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Let's play truth or dare! Send 'truth' and ask my character any question they'll have to answer truthfully. Or send 'dare' along with something you dare them to do.

rpmememaker:

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The first set made a lot of people happy so I made another!

Like/reblog if you use so I can see, and please credit in your descriptions!

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RICK  &  MORTY  SENTENCE  STARTERS.  

❝Right now, we’re gonna go pick up your little friend.❞ 

❝Y'know, I want you to have somebody.❞

❝ I’m taking charge of the situation, buddy!❞

❝If you love her/him so much, why don’t you… marry her/him?!❞ 

❝I’m starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing!❞ 

❝ Big tough guy all of a sudden.❞ 

❝Alright, alright, calm down. Listen to me.❞ 

❝I know that new situations can be intimidating.❞  

❝I’m no stranger to scary situations, I deal with them all the time.❞  

❝Y'know, we did something great today.❞  

❝I didn’t know hanging out with you was making me smarter!❞ 

❝In reality, you’re as dumb as they come.❞ 

❝I have to give ‘em up just to get your parents off my back!❞  

❝Boy, you’re really gonna flip your lid over this one.❞ 

❝It’s just like that movie you keep crowing about!❞ 

❝You don’t have to try and impress me, _____!❞ 

❝Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!❞ 

❝Just do the same thing here and we’ll be fine!❞ 

❝They were removed. Where have they gone?❞ 

❝You will walk when it is time to walk.❞ 

❝You can run but you can’t hide, bitch!❞ 

❝Well, at least I didn’t really crap my pants.❞ 

❝You’re sleeping in your crap right now.❞ 

❝Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something?❞ 

❝Who are you?! Answer me!❞ 

❝Okay, well, I can’t cure death.❞   

❝Where’s the anger coming from, man?❞ 

❝Fuck those people. Fuck this whole thing, ______. ❞  

❝Well, make yourself comfortable because I suck.❞ 

❝What’re you lookin’ at, motherfucker?!❞

❝Let’s go make ourselves at home, huh?❞ 

❝I’ll do you a favor. I’ll throw in a fart.❞ 

❝Oh, it looks cool, huh? That’s why you want it?❞ 

❝You speak when you’re spoken to, ding-a-ling!❞  

❝This place is the worst! I wanna go home!!❞

❝What are you gonna do, ground me?!❞  

❝I don’t wanna masturbate! I wanna conquer the planet!❞ 

❝What about weapons?! What about domination of the enemy?!❞ 

❝I’d rather breath poison than live another minute with you!❞ 

❝We’re not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.❞ 

❝Oh, now they’re resting comfortably in my stomach.❞  

❝I really could go for some enchiladas!❞ 

❝Can I show you something?❞ 

❝I basically destroyed the whole world.❞ 

❝I’m proud of you two for working together.❞  

❝Do I need to call the police?❞ 

❝I don’t care what anyone says.❞  

❝I promise never to make that your problem again.❞ 

❝I got a computer in here, you know?❞ 

❝And also, knock next time, you know?❞

❝Also, every ten seconds, it stabs your balls.❞ 

❝This place is a real who’s who of who’s you and me.❞ 

❝Dude, are you..? Wait, you’re being a dick, right?❞ 

❝So… I should get on my knees and kiss your ass?!❞ 

❝I haven’t quite captured your beautiful eyes.❞  

❝This is probably the best thing that could have happened to me!❞  

❝Eventually, everything either is or isn’t.❞ 

❝Whatever you’re asking, the answer is I’m amazing.❞  

❝I’m glad that was painful! You deserve it!❞ 

❝Your relationship with your father is psychotic!❞ 

❝Pay for it with money. You know, like how every store in the world works?❞ 

❝You’re not the cause of your parents’ misery, you’re just a symptom of it.❞

❝What people call “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.❞ 

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looks like his murder break is over~

i couldn’t decide which version i liked more :/

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'Its international kissing day, but its also Friday the 13th. So kiss your local hockey mask wearing psychos today.'

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“At least we got the SUV” (X)

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the vagabond getting flustered as all hell whenever he’s accused of a crime he didn’t actually do. ( for once. )

a story comes on the news about a recent attack on an armored truck in fake ah territory. everyone looks at ryan, who gives them all an utterly baffled look.

“i — didn’t, though. i mean, i - i don’t think i did. did i? no, no, that one wasn’t me. i think. yeah.”

another news story about a bizarre string of murders, carried out by flare gun. everyone looks at ryan.

“oh yeah that was totally me.”

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“Two out of three of my kills were headshots.”

.‘☠’┃FITTING ASKS || ACCEPTING!

❛ ☠ —          Gun in hand shifted downwards as the last of the CURRENT targets shuddered with the last remaining life that he still had for a few seconds, turning focus towards Ray.        ❝ -—- It’s a little early to be blowing your own horn, isn’t it? I mean, we haven’t even gotten into the building yet.❞

@gangrieve

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.‘ 🎮 ’┃ RAY:

  Right, the curse of cops returning the favor by going ham on their tires returns. Regardless, they were home free; there’s no way the police are going to be able to track them at this point and, even if they want to, would they really be up for fucking with them after that car chase? Probably not, not tonight at least. Ray’s shoulders relaxed back, hands snugly nested into his pocket and eyes shut for a minute. Spending the rest of the night playing something simple before passing out entirely sounded too good at this moment. It would be a decent way to drain the adrenaline still running through his veins, evident in the way his legs bounce against the dash.

  “ Perfection is fake but like, okay, ” he remarked, unable to keep the snark out of his tone along with a mumble of ‘politeness is for nerds’ after he was settled back.

  The mention of sticky bombs intrigued him just a bit in spite of his previous statement. “ … I mean, if we’re far enough away and no one’s gonna get up our asses for it, go ahead and set ‘em off, ” Ray answered, a stray thought begging the question of when Ryan set the bombs up (maybe he just didn’t remember it happening, but it certainly didn’t feel like there was the time for it earlier).

   ❛ ☠ —       Ryan himself was obviously settling now, taking natural turns and speeds with the car now. THAT WASN’T TO SAY THEY WERE EXACTLY THE MOST LEGAL ONES, but that was just typical. The difference between car-chase chaotic and normal chaotic- something that never drew as much attention as it LOGICALLY should have, but the town was a mess of ‘legalities’ anyways.

  ❛ ☠ —       A small eyeroll did come with the remark towards his joke on perfection, but a smirk wasn’t hidden with it. His gaze snapped to look at Ray when his small comment about the bombs was met with the response given.  A different turn was taken.        ❝ -—- We can ditch the cop car next to them, I’ll call up my Zentorno. Might as well kill two birds with one stone, right?❞        It wasn’t some FORCED reason or USE for them, as neither of them had been opposed to just blowing them now that it was verbally spoken. Though, the QUESTIONING PORTION at the end was faux- he was already on his way to do exactly his plan regardless of other input. The area that the bombs were set at was quickly approaching, one hand reaching into his pocket and grabbing out his phone. Attention was divided between the road and the device, the USUAL quick call given to whoever was on duty as far as mechanics right now for his own personal car. The phone was settled on his lap, the detonation option now the one up. The car was beginning to slow.       ❝ -—- We shouldn’t have issues- those cops were the ones in this area, so I’m not expecting we are going to have company over here any time soon.❞

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OOC: gUESS WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING FINALLY MOVED THEIR ICONS TO THEIR LAPTOP??

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the mad king, the vagabond, frat ryan and two-legged willy walk into a bar. who survives?

DoNt DO DIss tO eMMEEE

THEYRE GOING TO KILL EACH OTHER. 

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OOC: so was thinking of the GMOD Murder! vids, and then my thought went to ‘haha imagine the FAHC doing that’ with the immortality thing..... but then my mind went..... well, imagine Ryan being hired  (as I’m playing with the idea of Ryan being a hired gun for a bit before joining the crew) to take out a group, maybe a family, a party, a gang, something. Gets them all into a house, the rumor of someone being a killer amongst them is spread to increase paranoia, and Ryan is systematically killing them because well its a good paycheck and he’s fucked up.

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song of today

2017-04-16

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clean cut, cold killer –> the vagabond

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“Can I get in the car please?!”

.‘☠’┃FITTING ASKS || ACCEPTING!

❛ ☠ —          ❝ -—- What happened to yours? ❞           Even with trademark mask on, questioning could be read from him. THOUGH, DID IT REALLY MATTER? No, it didn’t. Not really.