breakingjesse

[breakingjesse]

just remembered how Skyler was honestly putting her whole pussy into running that car wash even though it was just a money laundering front for Walt's meth money and got really sad lol

[breakingjesse]

Skyler never got to spend any of the money on herself during the richest point in their life, all she got from that money was trauma and despair. !!!. I hope after she is able to heal, she will write a biography about her having to deal with a shitty egotistical hubristic meth-kinpin husband and profit the hell out of it and pursue her writer dream and live in a big house with pretty chandeliers hanging from very high ceiling.

[breakingjesse]

Entertaining the idea that both Walt and Jesse, during their respective solitary confinement , is confronting and confronted by each other’s ghost, in those long lonely hours, talking to their imaginary Jesse and imaginary Mr. White, simultaneously keeping their sanity and losing it at the same time. Fuelled by spite and anger and resentment and regrets, no matter how much they don’t want to think about the other, it’ll always creep up to the front, too loud to ignore.

[breakingjesse]

Can’t get over the fact that Walt was so giddy from receiving a gift from Jesse he cannot contain himself but to brag to his own WIFE (whom he was resenting) about this gift, “I got this beautiful sparkling expensive precious watch from……someone who tried to kill me a week ago”. Because he can’t say out loud what Jesse is to him, aka his partner in crime aka his ex student aka his mistress aka his tool which he has complete control over, but god he wanted to so bad and had to shove it into his wife’s face somehow

[breakingjesse]

"jesse pinkman takes a girl by the hand and leads her to his bedroom but instead of having sex they just play Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing" sounds like a tumblr meme made by someone who never saw breaking bad. but he really did that

[breakingjesse]

The way Walt’s arguably most unjustifiable and spitefully motivated murders are of Mike and Jane, the only two people who ever attempted to protect Jesse from him… other people also tried to take Jesse away from him, but Mike and Jane actually tried to get Jesse to see how fucked up the relationship was, tried to “turn Jesse against him”, and Walter absolutely loathed them for it, he killed them for it

[breakingjesse]

[breakingjesse]

Imagining Jesse in all those sleepless nights in the cage contemplating everything that went wrong in his life just to have them all trace back to Mr. Fucking White. And that if he died he’d have to see him in hell again, and good chance the guy is already running hell being the new Satan. And even then maybe he’d still not be able to pull the trigger.

[breakingjesse]

I was wondering what would make Walt and Jesse have a healthier relationship. Like, maybe more of a wholesome loving relationships like some of the fanfics. Then to come to the realization that they won’t ever. It’s either doomed and twisted or no relationship. Walter is a manipulative low level gaslighter hubristic creepy old man, and the only thing he can control is Jesse’s blindly trusting tail swaying approval seeking dumbass. Their relationship is mainly based on Walter’s huge ego, greed, and the needs to control, and Jesse’s ability to fulfill that need. If Walter doesn’t have that big of an ego, their relationship would have been way different, though probably much healthier, it will lose the intensity, since Walter would not feel that strong of a possessiveness towards Jesse, and constantly seeking for the fulfillment of being look up to, therefore he wouldn’t care about Jesse as much as he did. Jesse is discarded by almost everyone in his life, and “smaller ego” Walter would probably discard Jesse as well, when he sees Jesse as a liability to be get rid of once he cause inconvenience. Although if Walter was nicer to Jesse, gives him the security and validation he needed, Jesse would’ve been probably even more loyal and head over heels, but Walt is aware that even merely scraps of affection is enough to keep Jesse around. And making him fear losing that will have Jesse cling on to him even tighter. He pushes Jesse to the brink, then pulls him back just enough to keep him loyal. It’s classic abuse—break someone down, make them feel worthless, then offer just enough kindness to make them stay.

Their relationship had to be toxic to even exist. If Walter was healthier, Jesse would have just been another tool that he could potentially use. If Jesse was not starved for validation, less vulnerable, he would have been able to walked away successfully long before things got so bad. But because they’re both deeply broken in ways that perfectly complement each other’s wounds, they end up locked in this intense, destructive bond.

[breakingjesse]

something I think is so so so interesting about the Walt and Jesse dynamic is how closely Walt's relationship with masculinity is tied up with Jesse. it's so clear that what Walt wants more than anything in this world is to be respected as a traditional "man" - to provide for and protect the people who rely on him and for no one to question his leadership. Honestly I think part of why Walt harbors such a deep resentment for Skyler is because she doesn't participate in Walt's narrative of masculinity in the way he desperately wants someone to do for him. She asks him "why" often and almost always challenges his answers. she is willing to make her own decisions and draw her own conclusions without his permission or endorsement.

And in the same vein, I think there is so much tension between him and Hank because in so many ways Hank DOES embody this masculine ideal that Walt idolizes - he's successful in a traditionally male dominated field, he fights, he makes enough money to live very comfortably, he shies away from any trace of vulnerability. but I think for Walt, Hank doesn't do it right - he takes pride in his ignorance, he's brash, he's unprincipled, he uses brute force, he speaks without thinking. And it absolutely burns Walt up inside to see someone like Hank being touted as some kind of badass hero while everyone in his life looks at him with pity in their eyes because he's just a meek cancer patient. Honestly I think this is part of the reason why he uses Hank's aversion to emotions as a means to get a wire in his office (pretending to cry so that Hank will walk away long enough for Walt to place the mic in his picture frame is pretty on the nose lol).

Except then there's...Jesse Pinkman lol. Jesse, who knows exactly who Walt is - as Heisenberg as Mr. White and as Walter. Jesse who looks to him with tears in his eyes and a silent plea of "please don't let them hurt me" more times than Walt can even count. Jesse who's even younger than his young, beautiful wife. Jesse who has seen him genuinely believe he was about to die and still won't hesitate to look to him whenever anything goes wrong. Jesse who has seen him dissolving bodies in acid, crushing a man with his car, and shooting someone at point blank range but will still have a beer with him like they're old friends. Jesse who completely idolizes Walt's intelligence, ability to strategize, and dominance until the very end.

Like don't you get it, there is absolutely no Heisenberg without Jesse!!! In order for Walt to embody this hyper masculinized persona he so desperately desires, he NEEDS Jesse there - trailing behind him, looking to him for protection and guidance. as a son and a dog and a genuine subordinate. Jesse is so integral to Walt's idealized perception of himself that without him, it would all fall apart. we literally see this happening so many times! Walt is always completely on the brink of collapse without Jesse. it's why he gets Gale fired, why he entirely compromises his multimillion dollar business agreement with Gus just for a shot to be intimate and close with Jesse again. Because he knows if Jesse isn't around, he loses a central piece of what motivates him to embody Heisenberg - protecting someone who knows they need him so badly they can't breathe without him. Controlling someone who can't even exist without his permission. Owning someone who would never make it on their own. insane dynamic. insane characters. no notes.

[breakingjesse]

Breaking Bad S04E04 "Bullet Points"

[breakingjesse]

sorry but Walter White is soooo comp het to me lmfao. even the way Skyler's affair with Ted is narratively framed as a parallel to Walt's secret relationship with Jesse just makes me INSANE LOL. we see Skyler twisting her wedding ring nervously as she sings happy birthday to Ted at her office party at the start of their affair in the exact same way we see Walt twisting his wedding band as he waits anxiously for Jesse to pick him up in the RV before a cook. however.....when Walt learns about Skyler's affair it's almost like he himself even knows that he's also been stepping out on his marriage in a lot of ways, with Jesse. And I think it terrifies him. which is why ultimately he ends up, foolishly and impulsively, trying to kiss his young, pretty boss - vice principal Carmen. But you can see his heart just isn't in it lol. he's not doing it because he truly desires Carmen, he's doing it because he has something to prove. To himself, to Skyler, to Jesse, etc. He wants to feel like a desirable man to the people who he is supposed to want to desire him. but in reality, her rejection barely even stings! he doesn't actually care! And when you view this moment of rejection in contrast to how he feels and behaves when Jesse rejects him...it's so clear lol. Walt can't EVER just walk away when Jesse tries to leave him. He can't let it go. He relentlessly pursues him, risks everything for him, literally puts his life on the line and takes the lives of others in order to keep him close. Walt is absolutely crazy about Jesse and is addicted to the feeling of power and intimacy he feels with him. Absolutely crazy that this contrast is literally built into the narrative. there are truly cathedrals everywhere for those with eyes to see etc etc lol

[breakingjesse]

love how marie didnt meet jesse until the absolute very end of the show so shes had all this buildup from hank about this awful pinkman guy who sucks and is the worst, hes so terrible that hank had no choice but to go to his house and beat the shit out of him unprovoked, hes a horrible monster who is only staying with them out of pure necessity so they can bring down walt, and marie finally meets him after all this time and this mythical criminal jesse pinkman is literally just fucking posted in her guest bedroom like

[breakingjesse]

Yo happy halloween bitch

[breakingjesse]

Why did the men of Breaking Bad fight each other more over Jesse “Cap’n Cook” Pinkman than they did drugs or money or any of that relevant shit… truly the Helen of Troy of methamphetamine production and distribution

[breakingjesse]

[breakingjesse]

the way that walt and jesse treat the money they make from the meth empire is genuinely so fascinating. walt hoards it in every sense of the word: it's almost like he physically needs to have it nearby. he packs the walls with it, stores it in the crawlspace, rents out a storage unit that contains nothing but his massive cube of cash. the only time he guiltily tries to get rid of his money by burning it, he almost immediately puts the flame out as if he's feeling the heat himself. money is a visual manifestation of walt's success and domination, and he needs to see it, indulge in it, have it near to remind himself of his own excellence. meanwhile, jesse tries over and over to give his own money away. it eventually becomes worthless to him personally: he tosses it to others like its just monopoly money, seeing it only as a manifestation of his own wrongdoings. he literally just throws cash to the strangers partying at his house and out of the window of his car for strangers to find. he practically begs to give his money to drew sharpe's parents, kaylee, brock. he can't stand to have it near him. jesse just wants it gone. walt sees money as a sign of everything he's gained; jesse sees money as a sign of everything he's lost.