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they need more thigh high socks for thick thighs

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The first time I heard an adult say the f word was when I was in fourth grade and we were doing some project that involved us baking cookies together as a class. My teacher Ms. Lindsey, who was real sweet, was demonstrating for everybody and she asked if anyone knew how to crack an egg, and I really didn’t know how to crack an egg, but I’m a go-getter, so I raised my hand and she called on me. I instantly knew I was in trouble at that point but I’d seen my dad crack eggs hundreds of times so I figured, ya know, it can’t be thaaaat hard. So I grab the egg but I have no sense of how softly you’re supposed to tap an egg to crack it, so I just slam it against the desk and splatter raw egg ten feet in every direction and my teacher said “what the fuck, Dion?”

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ive never seen snow someone describe it to me

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a conversation I saw at Taco Bell

young son crying: I wish I had a burrito

the mom pointing at the kid's burrito: son that is a burrito

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Hit me with your best

car

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I’m so sick of young women saying that they’re virgins because they “respect themselves”

your virginity is not a “gift”

your virginity is not even a thing

it’s totally cool to care about your sexual debut, but please do not use the purity myth to devalue other women

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no one cares what men think

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💯💯💯💯💯💯

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basically..

[briana-and-the-diamonds]

(Twitter)

President Velveeta plagiarized his inauguration cake.

A. Cake.

This is real life.

[briana-and-the-diamonds]

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people who say offensive shit cause they think it’s funny or edgy are honestly so embarrassing

[briana-and-the-diamonds]