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Rob Schneider Fun at Flappers

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Ringo and I doing a commercial in Canada many years ago.  

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I wished it had better food for only being 10 miles from the border.

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My first audience member in Phelan, CA.  He was a board member for the Meth council of America.

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My wife with mary lynn rajskub

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I own this.  I'm a man.

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I was killed by a monster daily in Japan for 2 years.

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1994 K.D. Lang loves boxing.

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My kids wanted to know why the zoo's Blue Zebra exhibit had a lady promoting it.

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Tyne Daly makes me feel awkward.  Looking in a mirror makes me feel awkward.

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It is fun.  And Dee Bradley Baker is in this.

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Satisfied.

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Please America Stop buying cookies from these adorable scouts.  By helping them have self esteem how will we ever have the next generation of contestants on the Bachelor.

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Truly beautiful in NOHO.  

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Trashy Party.

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A young Wayne Brady eats chicken on the Game Show Alien Generation.

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The Warm-Up Life

The Warm-Up Life

By Michael C. Rayner

  I don’t know how other people have become warm-ups for sitcoms but this was my circuitous path to warm-up happiness.

  My wife Moira Quirk did a show on Nickelodeon called GUTS with Mike O’Malley.  We kept in touch and the day came that he had a pilot and asked me to come to the taping and do a few tricks.  I wasn’t the only one in Hollywood doing tricks that night.  But mine are legal and include spinning a cheeseburger on an umbrella and balancing a wheelbarrow on my face. The pilot had a warm-up and I was a special guest.  This might threaten some warm-up guys but mine turned out to be charming, funny and willing to let me do some time.  I did about twenty minutes, the audience loved it and so did the hired warm-up.   His name was Don Reed.  I owe him my warm-up career.  He liked my stuff and asked if I’d like to do warm-up and I said “yes”.   For the next three weeks we talked on the phone several times and he gave me a personal tutorial on how to be a good warm-up.  During this time I purchased a Ross Report and compiled a list of all the new multi-camera sitcoms and began a relentless campaign (almost a stalker) and called all the producers or line-producers listed for shows on the fall schedule.   My spiel went something like this “I know you probably have a warm-up guy already for your show, but if not I’m available, do you know Don Reed, he’ll vouch for me.”  Like the mafia, I needed to become a made man and Don was my Don Corleone.  After countless rejections I happened to get an actual line producer who knew Don.  She said she’d call him.  She did and I became part of the warm-up family.  The show was “The Secret Lives of Men” and featured Bradley Whitford, Peter Gallagher and Mitch Rouse.  I did a few episodes and they also booked another warm-up for a few episodes.  I came back and did the rest before the show was cancelled.  I found out that Bradley Whitford’s wife, the talented Jane Kaczmarek, requested I come back.  I never had a chance to tell her.  Thanks Jane, you helped me.   I was in the warm-up club and after that I still had to hustle but I was in the loop. 

  But what did I do when I got the job.  What does the warm-up do?

To be a warm-up is to be a world-class carnival barker.  Your job is to convince a crowd that the show they are about to see is the most entertaining and hilarious thing they will ever experience in their lifetime.   If you work on a great show it will be, but still your job is to keep the audience ready and eager to laugh.  You can’t let their energy fall, which is likely to happen during four hours in a cold soundstage, or if the actors have gone to change or technical things are being done.  You keep the audience fresh because the producers and the Network want authentic laughter and lots of it.   You begin the taping by doing a bit of your own material just to let them know that you are funny and will be hanging out with them, kind of like their favorite funny uncle, but with none of the bad touch.  You then introduce the regular cast, generally with a good bit of fanfare and then head into the first scene. 

   Some sitcoms, despite their best intentions, can only be described as crap.  In this case, scene after scene you must turn to the audience and proclaim “That was hilarious!” when, in fact, you know and the audience knows and the grips and best boys all know that the joke sucks, the scene sucks, the show sucks.  During this show you will work harder than you have ever worked in your life.  Just like Cyrano, you will elicit laughter by having them love you, but thinking they love the show.  You will hand out copious amounts of candy and prizes.   You will have competitions and share trivia.  You will tell old jokes and do stunts.  You will do absolutely all of your material and create more.    But in an age of few sitcoms and even fewer shot with a live audience, you will be happy, oh so happy you have a job.

  Where do the audiences come from?  If the show is popular, the audience will be fans.  Otherwise they will be unwitting tourists or, more likely, they will be paid. During an episode of You Don’t Know Jack there was a group of about forty previously incarcerated men in the audience making an easy $20.  How do I know?  They told me.  The guys loved to talk and the rest of the audience was entertained as I engaged in many lively conversations with these scofflaws about who did B&E and Armed Robbery or perhaps a few unsanctioned ‘pharmaceutical sales,’ although, I knew enough not to ask the man with inked tear drops what they meant.  I have also had groups from halfway houses, mental health facilities and nearly every type of recovery program.  So when you watch your TV and hear some raucous laughter, there is a pretty good chance it’s coming from someone just released from jail or drug rehab.  Perhaps both.  Or they are a college group, which is pretty much the same thing.

  When the audience doesn’t laugh at the sitcom you will get fired even if it’s not your fault.   When they laugh too much at you and not the show you might also get fired.  If the producer is getting divorced you might get fired.  If the star of the show’s wife has a friend who wants to start doing warm up you might get fired.  However, if you find a home on a hit show, you have it made.   The audience is simply happy to be in the presence of Ray Romano or Matthew Perry and laughs appreciatively and hysterically and all is well with the world.

  Michael C. Rayner

I have warmed up for various TV sitcoms:  The Secret Lives of Men, Dharma & Greg, That ‘70s Show, and most recently Lucky Louie on HBO.   You can find out more about me at; www.michaelrayner.com