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I love how I want to tell them that I'm hurt , that I'm tired, that i purposefully throw up, that I pinch and cut myself, that I have bpd, that I have ed and relapsation all the time, that I feel like I'm in my last days. I want a hug, i wanna feel loved. I stole, and it felt good. I cut myself, and it felt good. I dont want to spend my Fridays and Saturdays working my ass of and studying. I wanna kiss a boy and dance. But all I tell them is im okay
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They tell me to stop relapsing. Its. Not. That. Easy. If you say something that upsets me. Then I'll relapse more than you know
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I just wanna hurt myself till I stop feeling useless which will never happen. And I wanna rip my skin till I bleed nonstop
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