#eating disoder trigger warning
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Chat there’s 127 days till summer, no more fvcking around!
#4nerex1a#4nor3xia#eating disoder trigger warning#skinandbones#soupinmypocket#tw skipping meals#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#3d not sheeran#tw ed ana#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#tw ana mia#over 18 ana#anadiet#ana y mia#3d but not sheeren#tw 3d vent#3d f4st#3ating d1sorder#4n0r3x!4#4n0rexic#4n4rexia#4n@diary#4norexla#4n4blr#@n@ meal#@na shit#@na motivation
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i feel like i can’t even call myself dis0rdered
#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#jirai boy#landmine jirai#mealsp0#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#@n@ buddy#@n@ meal#ana food diary#no food#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw dis0rdered e@ting#eating disoder trigger warning#tw ana bløg#tw pvrge#tw 3d vent#tw b1nge#@n@ tips#tw ana mia#tw 3d diet#anadiet#3ating d1sorder#@n@ diet#4n@diary#4norexla#4n4blr#4nor3xia#3dblrr#3d but not sheeren#3d f4st
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I JUST NEED TO BE AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT UNDERWEIGHT. THAT IS ALL.
#clariiisaclaire#underweight#unhealthy weight loss#i will lose weight#i want to lose weight#weight loss#weight loss diet#tw weight#we1ghtloss#w3ight l0ss#3ating d1sorder#low cal restriction#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#tw thinspi#disordered eating mention#eating disoder trigger warning#disordered eating cw
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you’re so brave going out in public looking like that !!
#me@nspo#m34nsp0#m34n5p0#me4nsp0#m3ansp0#m3anspo#m3@nspo#m34n$p0#m3an$po#m3ansp11#3ating d1sorder#3d but not sheeren#3d diary#4norexla#over 18 ana#tw ana mia#4nerex1a#eating disoder trigger warning#4n@diary#4nor3xia#m34nspo#m3@lspo#4n0rexic#tw 3d vent#3d f4st#3d not sheeran#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#3d blog#@n@ coach#@na shit
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Actually the worst. Hunger is like a reward. A craving is like a punishment 😭
~🎀

#eating disoder trigger warning#tw ed ana#4n@diary#4nor3xia#4norexla#disordered eating mention#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant
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We really have to start facing food as a drug. We need to recover from it. We dream with food, but it is bad for us. We should start treating ourselves as we are addicts in recover, because that is what we are. Some people even think about food 24/7. Food makes us high for a few minutes, but then we really feel like shit afterwards. What is the point? We feel like we can not live without a burger, or a pizza, or a good greasy food, but we absolutely can. Food is one of the worst drugs ever. Don’t let it take you to your downfall.
#3d diary#3d not sheeran#4nor3xia#ana y mia#anadiet#anor3c1a#eating disoder trigger warning#tw 3d vent#tw ana bløg#tw ana mia#tw ed ana#tw ana rant#3d but not sheeren#3d f4st#3ating d1sorder#⭐️rving#i need to ⭐️rve#⭐️ve#⭐️ ing motivation#⭐️vation goals#⭐️ve me#light as a feather
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red th!nsp0!! 🍓






#low cal diet#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw weight#weight loss#3ating d1sorder#3d not sheeran#@n@ diet#@na blog#tw 3d vent#thinspø#eating disoder trigger warning#tw skipping meals#tw eating issues#thin$po#tw ana bløg#a4a motivation#a4a diet#tw a4a#ana y mia#⭐️ ing motivation#@na motivation#skipping meals#i need to ⭐️rve#low cal restriction#⭐️vation goals#tw ana mia#tw mia#@n@ tips
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Who the hell decided tell us all this ‘⭐️vation mode’ nonsense and that you can’t lose weight from ⭐️ving? anti-ana propaganda dude AND WE ALL BELIEVED IT TOO
#3d diary#3d not sheeran#4nor3xia#ana y mia#anadiet#anor3c1a#eating disoder trigger warning#tw 3d vent#tw ana bløg#tw ana mia#tw ed ana#tw ana rant#3d but not sheeren#3d f4st#3ating d1sorder#⭐️rving#i need to ⭐️rve#⭐️ve#⭐️ ing motivation#⭐️vation goals#⭐️ve me#light as a feather
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If I could rip it away like a piece of meat I would have done it ages ago.
~🎀
Dieting and exercising isn’t enough , I need to PHYSICALLY rip the fat of my body
#tw ed ana#eating disoder trigger warning#tw ana bløg#anadiet#a4a diary#tw ana rant#pro for me not for thee
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And remember, fat lasts longer than flavor.
#4nerex1a#4nor3xia#eating disoder trigger warning#skinandbones#soupinmypocket#tw skipping meals#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#3d not sheeran#tw ed ana#tw ana bløg#tw ana mia#anadiet#tw ana rant#ana y mia#over 18 ana#@n@ meal#@na shit#@na motivation#@n@ diet#@na rules#@na fast#@n@ buddy#@na blog#@na buddy#@n@ tips#3d but not sheeren#tw 3d vent#3d f4st
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I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU
Aaron Hotchner.
This is fully mentioning eating disorders and may be triggering to people suffering, in recovery or even prone to struggle. Please, take care of yourselves babies, you are strong, you are brave and your body is your home. You are and will always be more than your body and no matter what you are beautiful the way you are.
read with caution.
cw; self-loathing, ed awareness, struggles with eating, hurt, protective hitch, blood, passing out, fem!reader, bau!reader and more
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If feeling like the world hates you isn't enough, try hating yourself. Try waking up day in and day out facing the battle of your life, every waking moment. When you think it is over, nope, you were just too nice to believe you were struggling. At this point, it became a huge definition of you and who you are, without meaning to. Your ED was something you learnt to live with and grew accustomed to seeing and living through since you were about sixteen. It had taken a huge toll on your life.
You lived your life in fear of numbers on a label, on a menu. You were trapped within your mind, building a cage around your freedom. You live your life shadowed by food and yet, you could never shake it.
You thought that not going to the hospital meant it was invalid, that it wasn't actually an eating disorder. You don't think that you have what is considered to be an ed, instead, you think you're just picky. That is what you play it off to be.
You reached a stage in your life where it got better, you never stopped checking calorie labels, and you think there won't be a day that happens. But, you forgave yourself for breaking your restrictions.
That was until you saw yourself on TV during a case. At that moment, you reverted to every old trick in the book, hating how your body looked with the extra weight it was carrying. So, you simply stopped. You stopped eating when unnecessary, you stopped your sweet treats, and your calorie intake over a limited number. You stopped feeling grateful for your body and instead began to loathe it. You began to loathe yourself, your mind.
You assumed it would just be the same as usual, you were only heightening what was already going on after all but slowly, you felt your body grow exhausted.
You lost your spark, your drive, your energy. The fulfilling aura surrounding you started to thin and eventually, the team started to notice your decline. Specifically on one case, the hotel was offering free breakfast which you declined, claiming you were full from dinner- but, it was harder to hide at dinner. Rossi suggested you all go out, on him, to celebrate completing the case and this was the beginning of a domino effect in the unravelling of your issue.
You went out, of course you did.
You also ran out of clothes and had to ask JJ and Emily to share, having always been the same size as them, which confused you because they were always so fit physically. Emily offered you an off-the-shoulder dress which you thought you would break if you tried to put it on. You immediately feel self-conscious after putting it on, your shoulders fully on display, your hips filling the dress, making it squeeze into your body. You hate it. You really hate it. It always looked so good on Emily, but it doesn't look good on you. Fuck. You have to push back your tears.
Walking into the elevator, you see Hotch leaning against the wall on his phone, he looks up when you walk in and he smiles at you. "Hey."
"Hi," you say quietly, suddenly extremely aware of your shoulders and arms right now. Aware of the bump in the dress where your stomach sticks out, the way the dress feels like it is going to burst out the seams. You didn't even realise you were zoned out until Hotch spoke up again.
"Are you cold?" He inquires, raising an eyebrow as he looks over you. Unknowingly you had your arms crossed over your body, breathing in your stomach and covering your arms at all costs.
"No." You reply confused until you realise why he thought that. You don't drop them though, just shaking your head at him. "No, I'm not."
He takes his jacket off, handing it to you absentmindedly, looking over at you with concern. "It will be cold out there, here."
"Thank you," you tell him genuinely. He nods and you both meet the team.
At the restaurant, Aaron makes a move to sit beside you. He watched as your eyes flared in panic reading the menu and he was trying to piece together what was going on with you.
When it comes to ordering, you order the lowest calorie option which happened to be a soup. The team pulled a face and then moved on. Though, when the meals arrive, you look at the other's plates with envy. They could eat that and still be fit. Why couldn't you just be normal?
Aaron must have noticed your expression as he offered you his meal, to swap. You smile at him for his gesture but you shake your head at him. "Thank you but I'm not that hungry."
Through the night, everyone tucked into their meals but you continued to sip your wine when the others watched but then you swapped to your water when you suspected no one looking. Then you blamed yourself for not finishing your meal on the technicality that you had too much wine.
Smart, Aaron thought as he started to understand what was going on.
You all went back to the hotel and the case was over. From that day on, Aaron has been keeping an eye on you. He monitored you on your lunch breaks and then on cases made sure you had something.
However, you promised yourself that you wouldn't let your picky eating interfere with a case. Never cross personal matters with work. But, you lost the privacy privilege when you starved yourself for days on end and slowly became trailer and weaker. You were noticeably losing weight and now everyone was starting to realise because eventually, you became addicted to the idea. You found comfort in your disorder and it both terrified and rejoyced you.
Midway through a case, you and the bau were en route to catching the unsub. You're all sat outside, planning how to enter the building safely, you decide to ignore the black splodges delicately kissing your vision and continue with the plan. You were paired with Hotchner and thankfully, Morgan and Emily had caught the unsub because shortly after running into the house, you searched the kitchen and you remember feeling a rush of dizziness and the way the room spun before you blacked out into a faded daze.
You wake up shortly, Hotch by your side as he holds some tissue above your eye. You blink with confusion for a moment as you return from your disorientation to the reality of what just happened. You blink a few times, trying to sit up but being ushered to stay sat down by Aaron.
"Don't move, you've hit your head." He mutters, his eyebrows pulled together tightly with concern and some traces of anger.
You don't speak. You don't know what to say really.
Paramedics come in and check you over, attending to your wound and informing you that you will have a black and bruised eye shortly. Once they give you the okay, they leave you with Aaron telling him to keep an eye on you to ensure no head traumas show late signs.
He sighs and looks at you softly. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired, very tired and I have an awful migraine." You frown, looking up at him as your hand moves to your head and eye region and you flinch at the tenderness of the wound.
"What happened?" You finally ask the dreaded question, looking directly towards him now. He frowns.
"You passed out and hit your head on the counter on your way down." He informs you, placing his hand on your back and offering you his hand to stand up. Eventually, you do, your knees wobbling as you do but Aaron ensures that he has a firm and tight grip on you, so you do not fall. "We will speak more about this and what caused you to pass out later but you should rest."
You look at your hands when you walk to the SUV, Hotch guiding you the whole way. You knew you had to tell him, you knew that he already knew what was going on he's a profiler, the unit chief too so of course he knows.
You stay silent the whole way back to the hotel, absentmindedly looking outside the window as both your phone and his buzzed with notifications, probably from the team asking for an update on the situation. Although, you didn't check your phone and nor did Aaron, since he was driving.
When you arrived at the hotel, Aaron walked you to your room. "I'll send Emily or JJ over to stay with you if you'd like."
"No- please. I love them but that really isn't what I need right now. please." You plead him, staring so fearfully into his eyes that his heart breaks to see how beaten down you truly are.
"I was told you need to be under close supervision, forgive me for assuming you'd want them- I just thought you would rather be with a woman." Hotch explains and you nod.
"Can- can you stay with me?" You ask so quietly that he wasn't even sure if he imagined it or not. "Out of everyone, I'd want it to be you, yeah." You nod sheepishly at him and he nods with a small smile, following in after you walked into your room.
"I'm just going to grab my bag, get some pyjamas on and ready for bed and I'll be back." He tells you, not wanting to leave so he hesitates his departure. "Will you be okay?"
"I'll be fine. Aaron, go." To which he does and you change, catching your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Staring into it as tears caress your cheeks. You honestly have no idea how long you have been there, criticising your reflection in the bathroom mirror. So distracted you don't hear the hotel room door open again until you see his figure appear behind you in the reflection.
"I wasn't going to speak with you about this tonight but I think we need to." He says, staring into your eyes through the mirror. Your glossy and red-rimmed eyes.
"I'm speaking to you tonight as someone who cares about you and puts your health first, okay?" Hotch says, leading you to sit on the bed. He tilts your chin to look at him. "What happened today simply cannot happen again, okay?"
"I didn't mean for it to happen- you know that."
"I do but I don't know what you expected honey," He says softly.
The silence between you is palpable in that moment. "I swore my personal life and my work life would never cross."
Aaron sighs and looks away for a moment, looking back at you. "Your eating disorder affects your body both in and outside of work; you can't pick and choose when it can take a toll on you."
You stay silent. "I don't have an eating disorder."
"Yeah, love... you do." He says softly, looking at you to gauge your reaction; which wasn't being taken well.
"No- I do not." You defend, raising your voice slightly. "Just because I'm a picky eater doesn't mean I have an- doesn't mean I have it."
"When was the last time you ate?" He asks you, again, with no judgement and just a casual tone as if it was an ordinary conversation.
"Today."
He gives you a look. "When was the last time you ate more than three mouthfuls of food?"
You frown, getting ready to shout again. You weren't shouting at him, you were just mad at the situation. Though, it got cut short, interrupted by a sob. At this, Aaron was quick to pull you into his chest, wrapping his large arms around your shoulders. His hand caresses your hair, stoking it as he lets you cry into his shoulder. He understands that you've been holding this in for a very long time and he isn't happy you're struggling, but he is glad that you are letting him in.
'I don't wanna live like this anymore." Your voice shakes as you clutch his shirt. "I'm so tired."
He closes his eyes, feeling tears swell in his chest at the raw pain of your voice. "I'm here for you, I'm going to help you get you through this."
You pull back and look at him.
"You need to admit it," He moves his hand to your cheek, gently brushing the tears away, making sure he doesn't touch your injured eye- which was breaking out into a bruise through the swelling.
"I can't," you shake your head, hating how the words hurt your chest. The burning sensation as it lingers in your heart, physically scoring at your heart.
Hotch smiles encouragingly at you, "In order for me to help you, you need to admit that you're suffering honey."
"I-" you fall silent and Hotch doesn't speak, he doesn't rush you; he just lets you figure out your emotions by yourself. "Fuck, Hotch I think you were right. I have an... eating disorder."
The words feel like a splinter embedded into the skin, a sudden urge to vomit surging through your body- yet there was nothing to come up. Your mouth tasted like acid and your chest grew hot very quickly. But, it then subsided ever so slightly and there was almost a trace of... relief?
"I'm so proud of you." Hotch looks at you softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you frowned. "You admiring it is so progressive, do you know that?"
You shake your head, "I'm not feeling it."
"You will, eventually. We will take this slow okay? It won't happen overnight but believe me, you're on the road to recovery."
#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner#hotch x you#aaron hotchner x reader#agent hotchner#hotch#hotchner x reader#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch fic#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotch hotchner#hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner x female reader#eating disoder trigger warning#tw eating issues
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chat drop m3ansp0 i’m feeling hungry
#m3ansp0#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#jirai boy#landmine jirai#mealsp0#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#@n@ buddy#@n@ meal#ana food diary#no food#tw ana mia#tw pvrge#tw 3d vent#tw b1nge#@n@ tips#tw dis0rdered e@ting#tw 3d diet#eating disoder trigger warning#4n@diary#4norexla#4n4blr#4nor3xia#3dblrr#3d but not sheeren#3d f4st#3d not sheeran#3ating d1sorder#@n@ diet#tw ed not ed sheeren
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Really feeling this right nowwwww
this is the highest weight I'll ever be.
say it with me:
this is the highest weight I'll EVER be.
the only way the number can go is down.
꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
#anadiet#tw ana bløg#tw ed ana#ednotedsheeran#starv1ng#tw ana rant#ana advice#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw restriction#@na rules#tw ana relapse#ed rambles#ed rant#ed but not ed sheeran#ed but not sheeran#tw ed implied#tw ed vent#eating disoder trigger warning#tw 3d vent#tw s3lf harm#th1n$pø#tw self destructive behavior#tw depressing stuff#i just want to be thin#thin$po#tw#anorexla#over 18 ana#ana trigger#light as a feather
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if you really want to lose the w31ght so bad then why haven’t you lol
#me@nspo#m34nsp0#m34n5p0#me4nsp0#m3ansp0#m3anspo#mealspo#me@nsp0#me4nspo#m3@nspo#m34n$p0#m3an$po#m3ansp11#m34nspo#3ating d1sorder#3d but not sheeren#3d diary#4norexla#over 18 ana#tw ana mia#4n@diary#4nerex1a#eating disoder trigger warning#4nor3xia#4n0rexic#tw 3d vent#3d f4st#3d not sheeran#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#3d blog
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anyone else have dreams about @na or just me?
#3d f4st#anadiet#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#4nor3xia#ana y mia#analog#anor3c1a#f@st1ng#tw ed not ed sheeren#ednotedsheeran#tw ed implied#eating disoder trigger warning#light as a 🪶#tw ana mia#ana y mía#light as a feather#thinspø#thinneristhewinner#i need to be thinner#th1n$pø#tw restriction#sk1n4nd🦴#sk1n@nd🩻#i wanna be sk1nn1#3d but not sheeren#3d not sheeran#sk11ny#⭐️ ing motivation
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