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Wendy nodded letting Gareth keep control over the next few moments... so much was out of his control, so for now? She'd give him as much control as she could fabricate. Helping him to the car and getting him settled before walking around to the other side, she didn't even swerve to miss the soldier simply walked straight into him and looked up until he moved out of her way.

It wasn't a spoken threat, or request.... just a 5'2" angry wife, making a point. She wasn't going to budge or back down, he was going to have to move. If it hadn't been clear already, it was crystal clear now, there was one thing Wendy did not mess around with and that was Gareth Mallory. She would burn cities, and tear down mountains if it meant keeping him safe and protected.

Gaerth's gaze followed Wendy's, and he couldn't help but feel proud. Knowing there was nothing Wendy would have rather done now than yelling at the soldier. At the same time as he understood her, he understood the poor man, too, though. After all, he was just doing his job.

Sighing, he shook his head. "No. I'm fine." Well, he wasn't. But they did have to get going, didn't they? Rip off the plaster and move on. His fingers curled around Wendy's. "Let's get back into the car. It's no use postponing this..."

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The thing that made Wendy and G's relationship so special, was partially that they could just simply be.... leave as much of the past behind as they could. Yet when it came to the pain they could be the strength the other needed.

Their eyes meeting, his hand back on hers. His voice surrounding her, then that damn soldier. Wendy could feel him tense, before she went to move and yell at the soldier that was calling out to them. Looking to G for a cue on what to do. She didn't care what the soldier wanted, she wanted to know what G needed.

"Do you need a minute?" she asked softly.

Frankly, he wasn't surprised that Wendy knew. In fact, she probably knew a lot more than he did, anyway. Even about himself. And he was surprised that there were still things he didn't know about her, although they had been together for so long now.

Gareth stared at her, no longer avoiding Wendy's gaze. He was looking straight at her, studying her, trying to figure out how she had been living with that pain all this time without telling him. Without showing anything. His hand moved up and came to rest on top of hers on his chest. Feeling the warmth of her touch spread through him.

"It may not have been the same," he said quietly, "but...it was still pain. Just different. Just--" "Sir." Clenching his jaw, he looked over at the soldier. "We need to get going."

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She let him take the moment to regather his thoughts, his bearings and returned to chocolate to her purse. "I know......" a sad smile on her lips, not that she knew exactly what he was feeling, but she did have her own realm of understandings. "I know you didn't...... but I did...." the admission warm, soft, a tinge of guilt for maybe not warning him.

"I know we never talk about the scars....." she began, they both had them. Him from Northern Ireland, her from a childhood kidnapping, but they both had them. "When I was older, and I got to see where I was..... branded.... beaten.... I didn't speak for almost a week...... it had been 10 years..... and I still couldn't.... I still can't...."

Her eyes searching, trying to find his own though he wasn't looking at her. "And I didn't watch,,,,..... it wasn't.... the same.... obviously.... I imagine what you're experiencing is a million times worse...... but I knew..... and I am here." Her hand finding his chest and placing it over his hear. "I am here....... do you want to take a minute?"

They both knew he was lying. He knew that Wendy knew. But yes, it was going to be the lie he was going with, for his own sake. Lying to himself, really. He avoided her gaze, turning his head as if taking in their surroundings. This could have been any place; if he didn't know they were going to Northern Ireland, he would have thought this was right outside his home in Sussex.

Gareth glanced down and took the mint, popping it into his mouth. The chocolate, however, was ignored. He would throw up again if he ate it now... "Thank you," he said quietly. "I'm sorry. I...didn't think it's going to be this...difficult."

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Wendy was just about ready to slap the man who was staring her down, but it was Gareth who had stopped her from flying to the soldier. Though she knew he was only doing his job. Wendy's own side eye not leaving the soldier until he was on the driver's side.

Her brows raising when Gareth had tried to lie to Wendy about having eaten something, even though she knows he'd barely eaten in days.

Her head cocking enough to the side with the expression of - so that's the lie you want to go with? - but not calling him out on it verbally.

Reaching into her cross body bag she grabbed a mint, and a small individually wrapped piece of chocolate for G to take if he wanted. "Nothing about this is okay..." she finally offered with a small purse of her lips. Her hand finding his cheek to caress it softly. "But we'll get through it...... I promise."

There wasn't much coming, because he hadn't actually eaten that morning. Just a cup of tea, and some water. Other than that, his stomach was empty. That didn't change the fact it left a disgusting taste in his mouth.

He noticed the quarrell behind him, but didn't look up. Knowing it was Wendy who stood by his side. It was Wendy putting her hand on his back. Gareth coughed, then stood up. Pulled a tissue from his jacket pocket to wipe his mouth. He swallowed, then finally turned to face Wendy. She had seen him at his worst; it was no shame showing weakness in front of her. "Please..." his voice raspy as he looked at the soldier, "just...give us a moment." The man's gaze moved from Wendy to him and back again. Then, finally, he nodded his head, muttering, "Yes, Sir," before he rather reluctantly walked back to the driver's side. However, he didn't get in the car.

Gareth sucked in a breath and swallowed. Goodness, the taste was terrible. Bitter. "It's okay," he lied, turning to Wendy again. "I just...perhaps ate something bad..."

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It was eerily quiet. Not that they didn't enjoy quiet, but it was the quiet where Wendy became so acutely aware of each movement, sound, breath G took. Her own memories flashing back to when she had done the same thing in a hospital bed, the steady beeping of machines that were keeping the man she loved alive.....

The sudden lurch of Gareth leaping from the car startled both Wendy and the soldier, her own voice shouting "Stay!" as an order as she jumped out the other side to make sure G was okay. Her hand gently finding his back, holding him gently.... When the soldier also made his way around the front of the car.

"I told you to stay." A flash of anger from a usually calm Wendy having wanted to preserve G's dignity.

"All do respect ma'am... I don't take orders from you."

There is a moment, brief where she flashed red. There is a phrase often spoken 'if looks could kill,' and the soldier , as hardened and trained as he was, would be lying if he said the look he was now on the receiving end of didn't genuinely chill him to the bone.

In all honesty - and he was embarrassed because of it - Gareth had actually forgotten there was carry-on luggage. He was just holding onto the box with the photos with one hand, having it tucked under his arm, and Wendy's hand with his other. Thank god for the soldier picking them up, though. The good man went to get both their suitcases and Gareth's smaller carry-on suitcase.

He had thought it got better once they were in the jeep and on their way towards Northern Ireland. Truth is, however, Gareth felt worse and more sick with every passing minute. Heart racing in his chest, thundering against his ribcage. He could barely hear anything, what with his pulse rushing in his ears. One hand trembling, the other still holding tightly onto Wendy's. It was half an hour into the drive when he cleared his throat. "Could you stop the car?" Gareth asked, earning himself a glance via the rearview mirror. The soldier studied him for a moment, and Gareth apparently was so pale, he stopped the car at the side of the road.

The next moment, Gareth had already opened the door and jumped out; walking around the car only to throw up into the grass.

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Wendy could count on one hand times she saw Gareth truly truly panic. Carry stress, fear etc? Sure. But genuine panic? It was rare in someone who had trained himself to be so stoic. She had spend the car ride finalizing all the confirmations of travel. Her hand gently resting discreetly on his knew as his knuckles turned white from gripping the plane..... but in truth his speed off of the air craft took her off guard.

If one didn't know Gareth, it would be no different than any husband waiting for his wife.... but what Wendy saw was the lost soldier from all those years ago looking for any kind of anchor to the storm. Grabbing her carry on, and making her way behind him as quickly as she could her hand immediately found his outstretched one and grasped tightly .. "I'm here..... I'm here..... " she whispered.

One of the soldiers that was too be their escort had found them, and stood at attention but broke the protocol as he noticed Wendy's head shake, and he led them to grab their suitcases and before either knew it? Were on their way to the border with northern ireland.

Gareth stood in the study for a few moments longer before he eventually grabbed the box with the photos and memorabilia and followed Wendy outside. The entire drive to the airport, and the flight to Dublin, he wasn’t saying a word. Instead, he was looking out the window, watching London becoming smaller, then the lush, green colours of Ireland. The closer they got, the more nervous he became. Hands gripping the handles tightly until his knuckles were protruding white beneath the skin. This was only Dublin, there was no reason for him to panic – and yet he did.

When the plane landed, he was one of the first to get out, and once outside, Gareth sucked in a deep, shaky breath. He was holding onto the box again, as if it carried the most precious items in the world. He turned around to Wendy and held out his other hand. Not one to display affection in public, but right now? He didn’t care.

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The universe had a unique way of timing things just right..... the doorbell ringing after being asked if had been to late to turn back was one such example.... but Wendy knew there was no turning back, not for years. This had started a long time ago, and now? Now that story was going to find an unsatisfying end.... there were no happy endings here.

She hummed softly at the kiss, before placing a gentle hand on his chest.

"I'll help get the luggage to the car.... do what you need to do here." Wendy said gesturing to the box still on his desk. The one thing she hadn't done was grab the photo of his men...... that was always going to be a choice left with him.

Not thinking about the aftermath? How was he supposed to do that? In his position, Gareth always needed to also think of what came after, he had to think and plan strategically. And now he was just supposed to take one step after the other? Even with Wendy’s help he didn’t think he would make it.

Gareth sucked in a deep breath, allowing a faint smile to tug on his lips. Of course everything had been taken care of. This was Wendy. When he wasn’t functioning, he knew he could always rely on her to take over. He gently squeezed her hands. “I…suppose it is too late now to turn around, isn’t it?” The doorbell rang, and his smile disappeared again. It was definitely too late. With a sigh he pulled Wendy closer to him and placed a tender, but short, kiss on her lips. “Thank you for everything,” he whispered.

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One hundred.....she could only imagine what he was feeling in that moment. The funny thing about it was that she understood, he was going to be living however long it took at a 100. Likely even worse, but for now? 100 was the baseline for his pain, and Wendy wished she could take just a fraction of it away.

Moving to his side, she took his hand in hers, just quiet for a moment before she moved to face him taking his other hand in hers as well.

"Don't think about the after......." she started softly. "You're staring at an Everest... the summit and descent will come.... but right now? Right now we just have to get through... one day.... one moment at a time....." Squeezing his hand softly.

"For now? The car is going to take us to the airport. Our flight to Dublin, then a military escort will pick us up in an unmarked car ..... to make our way north. But I've asked them warn us when we get close to the border...... that way if you need a minute? We can stop."

In all honesty, if he didn’t have Wendy, he wouldn’t have known what to do. Where to start. Once again she was his rock, his anchor, the light guiding him through this maze. Just like she had helped with the arrangements for his late wife’s funeral, she was now helping him organising this journey to Northern Ireland. Without Wendy, he wouldn’t even have managed to pack that suitcase properly. And right now, as she found him standing in the study, he frankly didn’t even know what he had wanted here in the first place. Just standing there, staring at his desk as if it could give him all the answers he was looking for.

Her voice, and soft but comforting touch of her arms around him, dragged him out of his thoughts. Gareth bit down on his lip and shook his head. “On a scale from one to ten?” he asked quietly. “One hundred. I don’t think anything will be…return to normal after this…”

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-- time skip --

From the time it had taken for Gareth to be asked to take on this solemn task, to accepting, and now? Suitcases in the hall as they prepare to leave for Northern Ireland. It didn't take any convincing to get an indefinite leave of absence from work. "Right..... thank you." she thanked the agent on the other line confirming the car would be arriving shortly.

She searched out her husband once more. "I know you're not okay....." she whispered hugging him from behind. "How bad is it right now?"

His shoulders sank when Wendy stood up, eyes following her until she was settled on the sofa. It was unfair, wasn't it? Once again she was stepping down, was there for him, putting her own needs aside.

Sighing, Gareth gave the photos one last glance, then put everything back into the box, put the lid on, and pushed it back onto the shelf. Though he stayed sitting on the floor a little longer, just staring at his hands. Hands covered in blood.

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Running her hand through his hair, she hummed a soft disagreement. Kissing his forehead before shifting with the blanket wrapped around her waist. "You never need to apologize for waking me."

He had resting on his shoulder for a moment before she finally stood finding her way to the small couch in his office, and laying there. Yes, she needed sleep, but she also didn't want to leave him alone. The one benefit of being 5'2'' was being able to sleep just about anywhere.

He leaned against Wendy, closing his eyes again. Sucking in a deep breath. If she hadn’t been, he knew, he would have long lost his life, the will to live. Opening his eyes again, finally a small smile was returning to his lips. Gareth pulled a bit away, but only to put the photo back on the pile on the ground. He took them all and dropped them back into the box, burying the rest of the mementos, the post-it notes, the notebooks and sketchbook.

“I’m…sorry I woke you,” Gareth finally said. “I don’t think I will be able to sleep much in the near future. But you need the rest.”

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Please reblog this if it’s okay for me to just pop into your ask box to RP with you even if you haven’t reblogged a meme because I just want to RP with you

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Like for a starter

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🌻 a sunflower for everyone who is not feeling well today

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Hiatus is over :/)

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I did bring my laptop but replies will be sporadic :-)

Hiatus Warning -

May 30 Thru June 7th

Mun will be at Disneyland celebrating her birthday and will not be active in replies.

Active in messages/discord :)

Might take laptop for replies might not :)

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When did you first realize your love for Wendy wasn't simply love... but being "in love"

"...to pinpoint the exact moment is quite difficult, but...I suppose, and I think I feel guilty for this, I finally fell in love with her when she was helping me arrange my wife's funeral. The...long hours we spent together, sitting on the sofa, going through all the forms and papers and...well. We got quite close."

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The touch of his hands on her cheek, their breath mingled as they sat so close. There was a soft smile at his question. "There is nothing to repay.........." she whispered softly. "I give my love to you freely, and without condition...... in good times and bad..... sickness and health...."

Her nose gently brushing against his. "As you are for me." Her hand gently coming to meet his and squeezing it softly as she brought it to her lips. "We will do this as we do all things in this life ..... together."

Looking at Wendy, seeing the tears fall down, he immediately reached out and placed his hand on her cheek. Eyes closing when their brows touched. The photograph in his grip was forgotten for now. He opened them again at her words, staring at her hands. What she offered him was a lot more than he could have ever asked of Wendy, for he knew it wasn’t going to be easy for her, either.

“How can I ever repay you?” Gareth asked quietly. Chocolate, flowers – no, these things would never weigh up with what Wendy was putting on her shoulders.