brublahblah

[brublahblah]

It's time we had a talk.

Since May 2014, Brublahblah has been sharing original content about Brunei. With over 328,000 page views and thousands of social media shares, it time to bid adieu. Due to the changing priorities of the owners we have decided to stop updating the site.

We will still keep the website online and accessible. Comments on the Disqus will remain. Thank you to everyone that has contributed and shared their listicles, articles, tweets and opinions. We sincerely hope the posts on the site can be a starting point for more original content about Brunei.

Thanks for sticking around Brublahblah

[brublahblah]

Bruneian Comic Artists You Should Follow

This year saw the rise of comics with a Bruneian flavour. Each with their own take on life in Brunei these comic artists are definitely worth a follow! Check them out: 

1. @comoosenist​ 

“mahal jua, you can buy X nasi katoks with that money!"

2. @ComicByFifah 

Bruneian Horror Story: Nasi Katok.

 3. @haziq2910  

Cigu pemarah

4.  @iamjannadeen

Physics students will understand

5. @MalasKumiks

Iatah aku inda suka keluar malam.

6.  @mimiecomics

things Bruneians say

 7. @medicenes

"She sleeps a lot because her dreams are pretty than reality."

8.  @sheratoons

Cara2 membuat aiskrim.

9.  @focomics

I dropped my phone in front of my dad the other day...

What do you think about these local comic artists? Any we missed out? Comment below!

Got a list, or idea? Email them to brublahblah@gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Or follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

Things They Don’t Tell Bruneians During Their First Year Abroad...

…Or things you have been told but didn’t sink in time before you boarded that plane:

Right off the bat, one thing is of utmost certainty: you WILL miss the food. Very much.

No but real talk though, you are going to miss how cheap food is back home and how you’ve taken for granted those trips to KAKA for that BND1 nasi katok.

On that note, you’ll realise how you’ve taken for granted trips to any restaurant. Because they were not exaggerating when they said eating out overseas is equivalent to financial suicide.

Asian food is really not the same. You think you know this already…..lai, you really don’t….Seriously, don’t place that Chinese take-out order on Just-Eat.

Is Topshop cheaper here? No. Are you going to pretend like it is? Yes.

Do you really need another turtleneck? No. Are you going to buy it anyway? Probably.

Thermals. Just trust me.

No matter how much you promise yourself that you’ll cook everyday to save duit, you will never be able to resist the temptations of Domino’s Two for Tuesday.

You’re going to ask yourself, “How the hell did mama/babu use up all the sayur before they go off????” as you witness your fruits and greens go mouldy again.

Speaking of mould, unless you live off bread or share, you’re never going to finish a loaf in time.

You will be freshly acquainted with the words independence and freedom. They will hit you like a bus that’s behind schedule.

You’re going to be so confused because you will have so much free time for yourself. Like, what do I do with all this time? Do I catch up on two-years worth of sleep lost to sixth-form?

The answer is no, you don’t. You should spend your time DOING THINGS. Don’t spend a total of 30 quid on 5-6 different societies and never get involved in any of them.

You’re on your own. Literally alone. Not everyone is going to appreciate this and you must be patient.

If you do it right, you’re going to meet so many wonderful new people.

When they said, “the friends you make at uni will be friends for life”, they didn’t specify that this won’t apply to everybody.

You will miss the dynamics of school - despite how much you detested it towards the end of school.

Walking will no longer be a foreign concept to your Bruneian-bred legs.

One day your brain might pull a dick move and allow you to daydream about Excapade/Kaizen. Once this happens, there is no going back: the craving is so real. The struggle even more so.

Kadang-kadang you will be so malas/sasak with orang sini. Oops

Don’t bring your entire closet - you probably won’t be able to wear 90% of them anyway.

Concerts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (If you’re as Bruneian as I am, you’re gonna be sakai at your first concert, it won’t even feel real. Might shed a tear. 😢 )

Laundry…..to be quite honest there’s no spectrum for how you might go about it - either it’s your favourite part of the week or you buy new underwear to avoid having to wash your old ones.

Even though you might have to sell both kidneys to fund travelling expenses, nothing beats admiring sheep and goats whilst on the train (if the weather cooperates).

Having friends in other universities is enough of an excuse to grant yourself fun little excursions.

Regardless of how much you wanted to leave Brunei, you are going to be homesick. Extent of homesickness may vary between individuals.

by Chel

Comment below if you think we’ve missed anything! Oh, what kind of food cravings do you have?

Got a list, or idea? Email them to brublahblah@gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Or follow us here on Tumblr.  

[brublahblah]

Things You Hear At An International School

On any given day, your accent can change from British to American and then to a “From-Everywhere-Else-That-Speaks-English-Accent”. Here are some the things you'll hear as an international student in Brunei:

"Can you say something in your language?"

"Can you teach me any curse word from your language?"

"How do you spell your name?"

"Am I pronouncing your name right?"

"When's summer holiday?"

"So, are you going anywhere this summer holiday?"

"When's half term?

"You okay?""No, I have jetlag" "Damn."

"I can't come to school, I have to renew my visa"

"It's Zed, not Zee (Z) *and the argument never ends*

"I haven't done any CAS hour"

"Do we need to include MLA?"

"It's ALUMINIUM, not ALUMINUM"

"My dad is half English half Chinese, my mum is fully English & in fact, I'm also part African & my grandparents are native Americans *and the list never ends *"

"I'm travelling this weekend"

“How many UCAS points do you need?

by @vvsmkkk

​Remind you of anyone? Did we miss any out? Why not comment below to add yours!

Got a list, or idea? Email them to brublahblah@gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Or follow us here on Tumblr

[brublahblah]

#BeingBruneian

From saying cuba try to having to salam all the aunties, uncles, abangs, kakas, cousins, grandparents in a family function. Check out some of Brublahblah’s favourite tweets with the hashtag!

#beingbruneian "bah mana satu kubur nini?" "antah" "tuang saja semua air atu" *tuang arah pokok*

— Hilmiiiiiiiiiiii (@Hilmigator)

#beingbruneian betebiat + janji melayu combo

— ESJ Abdullah (@efwadrashyad)

#beingbruneian saying the word "bah" numerous of times before actually leaving a family/ friend's house

— flutters (@scrlt23)

#beingbruneian having to salam all the aunties, uncles, abangs, kakas, cousins, grandparents in a family function

— adi nabil (@bilfadzillah)

#BeingBruneian refering "anu" to everything and people still understand you

— iدa. (@1Dafaizah)

#beingbruneian makanan tinggal satu "orang brunei tah banar"

— ❁ ⓕⓘⓕⓢ ❁ (@Fifs_Frantastic)

#beingbruneian not sure to kiss on the cheeks 2 times or 3 times, am i right ladies?

— wáhfä (@wahffle)

*Passes by a random house* Babah: 'Atu rumah kawan babah tu' *Passes by another house* Him:'Yang atu rumah tangah mu tu'#beingbruneian

— Bihah (@nabihah_hussain)

"Dang" "Wang" "Eh" "Oi" "Lai" When an elder doesn't know/remember your name😂😂😂 #beingbruneian

— رايهانه شوحيده (@_naviesss)

Mesti tau kisah legend negara: •Jong Batu •Gunung Amas •Ko Umban Duit, Keluar! •Will You Marry Me (National Day) •NINIKU TU #beingbruneian 😂

— رايهانه شوحيده (@_naviesss)

When someone asks 'kamu dimana?' in a WhatsApp group chat, there's sometimes that 1 person who will reply back, 'di hati mu'. #beingbruneian

— Bihah (@nabihah_hussain)

#BeingBruneian : "Makan mana?" "Manasaja" "Jalan mana?" "Manasaja" #Manasaja

— Nadd Α. (@nhnadd)

#beingbruneian "ah kanalku tu ia cousinku" not even first cousins but still applicable

— توكي (@ahmadsyauqie_)

#beingbruneian "berapa umur mu sudah lai?" "*mentions age*" "ahhh sama tu eh dengan anakku si anu. mana ia ah." um ok??¿

— nani ⇞ (@BYEhannani)

#beingbruneian comparing every price with nasi katok. "eh 30 ringgit? dapat bali 30 nasi katok, kanyang parut"

— nani ⇞ (@BYEhannani)

"cuba try"#BeingBruneian

— Sabrina (@sabrxnaslm)

Parents selalu kana tagur and greet every 5 minutes of jalan2/shopping #beingbruneian

— نور عقيله (@qilahishak)

#beingbruneian kadai baru, semua sakai.

— نزمي ذكري (@zikry21)

#beingbruneian " buangkan eh sampah ah dapat pahala kau mmbuangkan "

— 09 (@syhrlsyhmi)

#beingbruneian everyone is sarcastic, everyday, everywhere, every hour

— ZJ (@ziqahjefri)

staying up till 12am for the wifi quota to reset at the end of every month #beingbruneian

— zhenru (@zhenru)

#beingbruneian salam balum lagi sampai ke dahi sudh th kna lapaskn :'))

— Farahana (@_Farahanasyaa)

#realtalk #beingbruneian when you live in a nation of Malay privilege and claim that there isn't racism or prejudice around.

— june (@LovelyDayInJune)

When your mum's friend has a kid that's in the same school as you and you're expected to be bffs #beingbruneian

— mal (@_malnuro)

#beingbruneian "Ma buleh ku bejalan?" "Ada kwn kan ko? Banyak usin mu? Sma siapa? Pukul brapa ko balik? Jangan smpai mlm, jga ulah atu"

— fairyjinan (@iambaanana)

#beingbruneian asal skulah arab kana suruh baca doa,jadi imam etc.

— يسير شهمي (@iamyaaaasir)

Calling our seniors either Abang or Kakak and calling juniors adik because we are all one family😊 #beingbruneian

— syafi (@SyafiHalim)

#beingbruneian "eh cuba ko liat tu org ah" "mana?" "eh jangan liat, ketara tia karang" Au tadi suruh liat lapastu nda suruh tia

— umiieee (@chmmrn_)

#beingBruneian We buy most of our clothing when we travel to other country.

— IFonlyNUNUL (@HasnulNazree21)

#beingbruneian "baru ku tau ex ku atu sebenarnya cousin ku" everyone's related to everyone

— Nada (@nadkhrl)

"Masa ani belajar dimana kau lai?" "Belajar di UN-" "Ahh anakku 3 belajar di UK, sorang saja lain, di mesir"#beingbruneian

— Chick(en) (@Mi2a_)

#Beingbruneian sekalinya payday terpuruk jalan raya

— N (@Najip_)

#beingbruneian *di hospital* "eh behapa kau di sini?"

— العزيز (@jiruljijaaan)

#beingbruneian *biarkan makanan tinggal sebuting ampai ampai bcs sorang sorang rasa serba salah kan mengabiskan*

— العزيز (@jiruljijaaan)

Parking very very close to the entrance #BeingBruneian

— Zaki Akmal Zunaidi (@ahmadzakmal)

Price in brunei "bnd50". "ke miri* "rm50" 😒 #beingbruneian

— قيله (@QilahOthman)

"Makan lai" Me: "Kanyang" "Diet kau? JANGAN KAN DIET DIET KURUS CANGKIR KARANG!"#beingbruneian

— A (@Amyrahtul)

#beingbruneian asalkan liat wyg "baik, inda bawa2"

— AbdWaf (@Abd_waffle)

#beingbruneian Mom comparing us with our cousin/her friend's children "cubatah kau macam si anu atu, pandai ani, pandai atu kau pandai apa?"

— Hayana Syamimi (@syamimiphs)

"Sekalinya sajuk, sajuk banr brunei ani.. sekalinya panas, panas banar" talking abt the weather be like... #beingbruneian

— Sàra (@maisaramdsalleh)

#beingbruneian tejumpa kawan, selfie

— haziqah (@haziqachu)

#beingbruneian Mengira numbur pun bah ada cara brunei "To,Wa,Ga,Pat,Ma,Nam,Juh,Pan,Lan,Luh" dan seterusnya

— حفيظ (@hafizazis257)

Did we miss any out? Why not comment below to add yours! #BeingBruneian

Got a list, or idea? Email them to brublahblah@gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Or follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

14 Types of Bruneian Snapchatters

What was once “Why are you taking a video?” is now “Snapchat kah? HI SNAPCHAT!!” *WAVES* Now the go-to app to catch your friends latest place to chill without the Instagram aesthetic. 

1. THE FILTER ADDICT Nothing amuses them more than using face seflie filters. Whether it’s on themselves, friends, cats, whatever...they’ve tried.  #dogfilter4life

2. THE MOODY VIBES Posts long quotes, usually over a black background with some music. Tiny text that can hardly be read but you’re sure was very deep. “3.21am WHY CAN’T SLEEP 😭”

3. THE FOODIE Once limited by Instagram, they’re now free to share their food obsession one snap at a time in glorious video.  *PANNING OF FOOD*  “Yessss look at this” *ZOOMS INTO FOOD* “Yum”

4. THE WATCHER They love to share what they are watching or playing. When they laugh...you laugh. When they cry...you cry. When they stop for a toilet break...well that’s too personal even for Snapchat.

5. THE “LIAT SINI LAI” Snaps are full of kids that have no idea what snapchat is. Watch as children get amused as their faces are swapped and distorted. Siblings, cousins, even random children are not safe.

6. THE SELFIE ENTHUSIAST Post selfies that are good enough for Snapchat but not aesthetic enough for Instagram. Selfies with coloured scribbles on them. #kamuada (ok, maybe not that hashtag.)

7. THE REALITY SHOW STAR You open their snaps and it starts playing their story that doesn’t seem to have a start, middle or end. EVERYTHING IS ON THEIR SNAPCHAT. EVERYTHING.

8. THE CAT SNAPPER It’s Neko Atsume...but in real life. How many cats they have? Who knows! You definitely don’t because you’ve stopped counting already.

9. THE SOCIAL SNAPPER Wefies, group pictures, couples, friends of friends, family cousins friend, etc. You’ll see someone you know in their snaps and wonder, “How do they know each other?”

10. THE STEALTH SHOT Zooming into people's faces without them knowing and putting filters on unsuspecting faces is their passion. AVOID IF POSSIBLE. 

11. THE ONE SNAP WONDER Not because they don’t have interesting lives but they don’t want their Snapchat to be ‘sunyi’. You wonder what’s that blurry thing they posted but it’s too weird to screenshot to see.

12. THE MUSIC MAESTRO They share the latest hits or the most recent album they’ve downloaded usually over a time filter. Snapchat is their own private karaoke box and they use it like a musical.ly.

13. THE SCREENSHOTTER You don’t know why they screenshot that video of you eating a burger. Maybe they wanted to eat the burger as well? Or your mouth was open really wide? Who knows...

14. THE ARTIST Masters of using the pen tool they can sketch the most amusing or original drawings. Not limited by pen, stickers and emojis are used creatively. Makes opening up the app worthwhile! 

Remind you of anyone? Did we miss any out? Why not comment below to add yours!

Got a list, or idea? Email them to brublahblah@gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Or follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

Which School Were You From?

The tweet that started it!

"which sch were u from?" "maktab sains" "eh orang pandai2 saja tu eh" asal MS, pandai ok

— (@aisyahalwi_)

May 10, 2016

Soon others followed...

" which sch are u from " " arabic sch " " ohh alim ni eh " asal sch arab, alim ok 😌

— (@iHoranQueen_)

May 10, 2016

"Which sch were u from?" "Hussain" "Eh yg ada si "kau umban duit" ani ni, samsing ni kau ah" Asal hussain samsing K

— (@Jibb233)

May 10, 2016

"Which sch were u from?" "Sekolah mngh arab" "Wow pndai mngaji ni eh pndai arab ni cuba ckp arab" "السلام عليكم

— (@mmuidabdullah)

May 11, 2016

"which sch were u from?" "stpri" "eh anu lesbian + histeria saja ni eh" asal stpri, lesbo + histeria. ok guys ok

— (@sarajowell)

May 10, 2016

"skulah?" "st.andrews" "ohh padantah lacis lacis english mu" HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAkbai

— (@jannnahas)

May 10, 2016

"which sch are u from?" "st andrews" "eh padantah handal english. anu org kaya & chinese saja ni org nya eh" ok¿

— (@_S_Wafaa)

May 10, 2016

"which sch were u from?" "sekolah menengah berakas" "owh anu student samsing2 ani" asal berakas samsing

— (@syafiesaidi)

May 10, 2016

"which sch were u from?" "sekolah menengah rim-" "eh orang gauk gauk ganya tu" asal rimba gauk

— (@ftnnrd)

May 10, 2016

"Which sch were u from?" "St. George" "Dimana tu??" Asal st george inda tau

— (@aa8h)

May 10, 2016

"which sch were u from?" "SMSS" "apakan tu text message kah?" asal smss kena pikir message

— (@farjapar)

May 10, 2016

"which sch were u from?" "Soas" "Eh anu sweet talker saja ni orang orang nya" Asal soas, sweet talker.. ok ._.

— (@awxsri)

May 10, 2016

"which sch are u from?" "chung hwa" "pandai tah kau cakap cina ni eh" "住口"

— (@l_iessa)

May 10, 2016

"Which sch were u from?" "Jerudong International School" "Eh orang kaya2 saja tu eh" Asal JIS, Kaya ok

— (@AinaAssyiqin)

May 10, 2016

"Which school were you from?" "St.Margarets School Seria" "Wow sekolah org kaya tu eh"

— (@MiezaSyahirah)

May 11, 2016

"Which school are you from?" "St. Margarets" Kb people: oh yang kuat ckp english tu Others: mana tu ah?

— (@qilahishak)

May 11, 2016

"which school are you from?" " SM PJN " "oh yang MS version kb atu kah? urang pandai tu eh" 😐

— (@aimanhjroslan_)

May 11, 2016

"which sch were u from?" "smja" "eh anu anak pekelaiean ganya ni" sikit sikit kana label kelaie :') #smjainnutshell

—(@fiqszmn)

May 11, 2016

"which sch were u from?" " Ripas " " dkt hospital Ripas kh? " asal ripas hospital :')

— (@nnba_)

May 11, 2016

"Which sch were u from?" "Smpdsm" "Mana kan tu?" Asal smpdsm, nada tau. Ok tu.

— (@Far152_)

May 11, 2016

" which school are u from? " " Sekolah Menengah Menglait Gadong " " dimana tu? Ampir mall kah? " Umm nda famous

— (@_teeshaali)

May 11, 2016

"Which sch are u from?" "Ptem" "Wah, kuat anginnya tu sana ah sal dakat pantai" Selalu

— (@rosfitriyana)

May 10, 2016

"Which SCH are u from?" "PAP Masna" "Owhhh pandai2 tu kamu eh? Eh Kamu handal menyanyi jua.. Kau pandai nyanyi?"

— (@nazihahnasip)

May 11, 2016

which school are u from ? "Muda Hashim" org tutong responses= "skulah gay ni" or luar tutong= "mana kan tu ?"

— (@ashrafkidrauhl)

May 11, 2016

"which sch are u from?" "sekolah menengah masin" "dimana tu?" ok

—(@_winashamshul)

May 10, 2016

"which sch are you from?" "sekulah sufr.." "eh bagas beantu tu eh" asal sufri antu

— (@farahodanny)

May 11, 2016

"dari uni mana kau lai?" "UBD" "ahh jadi cigu tah kau ni nanti" asal UBD jadi cigu. ok.

— (@safiudd_in)

May 11, 2016

Your school, college, university there? No, why not leave a comment below!

Got a list, or idea? Email them to brublahblah@gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Or follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

#ExplainBruneiIn5Words

This hashtag is pretty self-explanatory. Ok fine, we'll try... people tweeted how they would explain Brunei in five words. See? It pretty much explained itself! Here are Brublahblah's favourite tweets with the hashtag!

Oil is our major revenue #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ️️ᶠʳᶦᶜᵏᶫᵉ ᶠʳᵃᶜᵏᶫᵉ (@reenarozita)

October 29, 2015

makan Nasi Katok masa kapih #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Amar (@amarmuqri)

October 29, 2015

Slows down to watch accidents #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— John Lee (@leejkp)

October 29, 2015

Si Timah suka menapuk stukin #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Qayyum Shahbudin (@qayyumhjS)

October 29, 2015

I'm somehow related to everyone #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ibrahim yussop (@ibrahim_derpy)

October 29, 2015

Do the taxis even exist? #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ibrahim yussop (@ibrahim_derpy)

October 29, 2015

Life goal: study in UK #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— y a to the w e n (@ElvenPsychopath)

October 29, 2015

2010 was a poklen year #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— syazwani (@medicenes)

October 29, 2015

We only have one McDonald's #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Faiq Airudin (@FaiqAirudin)

October 29, 2015

Parking is such a bitch #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— John Lee (@leejkp)

October 29, 2015

indomee, makanan nombor satu brunei. #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Cahaya Syazwani (@syazwanisahri)

October 29, 2015

yellow light ertinya mesti race #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Cahaya Syazwani (@syazwanisahri)

October 29, 2015

nike roshe is too mainstream. #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— حميرا. (@MairaMohammad)

October 29, 2015

Roti kuning chop jing chew #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— y a to the w e n (@ElvenPsychopath)

October 29, 2015

Responding to everything with "bah" #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— y a to the w e n (@ElvenPsychopath)

October 29, 2015

Whatsapp friends in same room #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Faiq Airudin (@FaiqAirudin)

October 29, 2015

Yes, we actually do exist. #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— afwani (@ZulaikhaMumin)

October 29, 2015

mom won't let me go out #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— عائدة رحمن (@Arianarahman)

October 29, 2015

Similar tweets about the weather. #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Amirul Ya'iisyuddin (@yaiisyuddin)

October 29, 2015

We grow up eating Ambuyat #ExplainBruneiin5Words

— Potassium Iodide (@AshHipster)

October 29, 2015

Org brunei selalu janji melayu.#ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— H (@bxllxrr)

October 29, 2015

hangout : jp, ts, the mall, empire. #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— حميرا. (@MairaMohammad)

October 29, 2015

Shopping is our national sport #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— حاج عبدول وافي (@thisiswafiy)

October 29, 2015

gadong traffic jam masa payday #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Putra (@FarhanAzziqa)

October 29, 2015

Mun inda bawa kana "Bojio" #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— {hm} (@haziiirahhh)

October 29, 2015

Walk really really really slow #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽ (@vi0letsprite)

October 29, 2015

Most lies come from whatsapp #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ㎡ (@muazmalaifaizul)

October 29, 2015

Whatsapp lagi update dari RTB #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Putra (@FarhanAzziqa)

October 29, 2015

Kalau "speaking" orang lain marah #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ㎡ (@muazmalaifaizul)

October 29, 2015

People still gonna judge you #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— zilah (@zilhsaifol)

October 29, 2015

Esuk exam barutah kan belajar #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— zilah (@zilhsaifol)

October 29, 2015

our fave food buttermilk chicken #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ماي (@mairabatrisyaj)

October 29, 2015

we never buy clothes here #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ماي (@mairabatrisyaj)

October 29, 2015

Last minute belajar sebelum exam #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— aiman (@aimanhjroslan_)

October 29, 2015

Orang damit damit sudah vape #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ㎡ (@muazmalaifaizul)

October 29, 2015

T4, Gongcha, Easyway, Coffee Bean, Chatime #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Tasho (@bxmblebee_)

October 29, 2015

handal copy paste di whatsapp #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Virgo (@keynsaaaid)

October 29, 2015

bruneian teenagers made nike overrated #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ماي (@mairabatrisyaj)

October 29, 2015

Your girlfriend? No my cousin! #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Aleena Dar (@Aleena_Darr)

October 29, 2015

Everyone in Brunei is related #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— unactive (@iz_hshm)

October 29, 2015

"not available in your country" #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— W A F I (@httpwafi)

October 29, 2015

Send hates selalunya through askfm #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— ✿ Farahana ✿ (@_Farahanasyaa)

October 29, 2015

Bnyk likes on IG kira famous #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— Qistina Rahman (@Qisslicious)

October 29, 2015

Relationship goals inda jua goals #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— zaynab ✨ (@nabilahhv)

October 29, 2015

Bruneians on twitter rn. *making sure its in 5words* #ExplainBruneiIn5Words pic.twitter.com/QgX2FPR9YV

— fifz (@fifahzulkifli)

October 29, 2015

Green,Pure,Religious,Beautiful,Small #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— amni (@amnilicious)

October 29, 2015

Brunei ada satu stadium saja #ExplainBruneiIn5Words

— nunzai (@zikry21)

October 29, 2015

#ExplainBruneiIn5Words "Till Jannah" kali, esuk putus.

— Faiz Dzuhairy (@mfdbd)

October 30, 2015

Got a list, or idea? Email them to brublahblah@gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Or follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

You Know You Are Bruneian 2016 EDITION

We at Brublahblah thought it was about time the ‘You Know You Are Bruneian’ list was updated, nearly 10 years after it first made the rounds on the Internet! We bring to you the updated version for you Snapchat-using, Instagram-buying, Zalora-loving millennials. The ones in italics are from the original 2006 version.

People have actually heard about Brunei and ask, “It’s that Syariah country right?”

...But people still think it’s in the Middle East.

You are confused by the international media perception of Brunei. 

You have called someone 'poklen' or have been called one before.

You change your Samsung/iPhone whenever a new one comes out. 

You know all the swear words in Malay, Tagalog & Chinese.

You cancel all your plans to watch new episodes of Running Man.

You still have a collection of pirated VCD's, DVD's & CD's you haven’t watched in awhile.

...So, now that you have to stream and download, you regularly complain about Telbru speeds.

You live with four generations, eight cats and five cars and still wonder why the Internet is slow.

You have Astro, but the one from Malaysia. ASTRO BEYOND!

...But you also have another prabola for Indonesian channels.

If you work in the government leaving after 5pm is considered late.

If you work in the private sector, you leave later than 5pm hoping you can get a job in the government so you’re able to leave early.

You’ve been asked to start your own business because #entrepreneurship #fallingoilprices #generasiberwawasan

You know someone who has an Instagram shop, or a box at a cube store.

...And you’ve bought their stuff from their Instagram shop/ cube store.

You go to Miri for cheap stuff but don’t realise how much you’ve actually spent because it’s all in RM.

You know the BEST place to exchange your BND into RM with the BEST rates. 

You always say "kapih ku.. bila terima/keluar gaji/overtime/elaun ah?"

You compare the prices of things with how much nasi katok you could buy.

You’ve gone to the supermarket on weekends but forgotten to bring your reusable bags.

You’ve had a relative say to you, “Berisi sudah”

You post food pictures with the hashtag #lovefoodhatewaste #bruneifoodies #brunei

You know “Jalan ke mall/times square” really means walking around and not buying anything.

You’ve messaged someone that you were “otw” when you were still at home.

You’ve waited for someone who said they were “otw”.

You’ve left one piece of food on a table. “Melayu tah banar eh.”

You’ve tried to haggle by asking "Boss, kalau kurang sikit buleh kah?”

You buy Maggi/Indomie in boxes not individual packets.

You’ve driven past a place that smells and say, “Siapa bekantut ani kan?"

You know how to play cards...Monopoly Deal or UNO.

You still believe roads have no speed limit, Waze is your friend.

You think five cars in front of you anywhere on the road is a traffic jam.

You’ll drive around to find parking as close as possible to your destination.

You tell everyone how great your parking spot is or how far away you’ve parked.

You start to speak Malaysian if you meet a Malaysian, speak Indonesian if you meet Indonesian.. and so on.

You follow Bruneiroyalfamily on Instagram.

You’ve been asked, “Ada kawan sudah?” by n̶o̶s̶y̶ caring uncles.

You’ve been asked, “Bila kan kahwin?” by b̶u̶s̶y̶b̶o̶d̶y̶ overeager aunties.

You are asked to go to a "meeting" but actually you will only be "listening".

You receive news in Whatsapp first, Facebook second (Bruneifm/Fantatic Brunei Issue) and then finally newspapers.

You wave your hand while driving to other drivers that you know.

You wave your hand to HM when he drives past. “Eh Sultan lambai aku!”

You add "BUI" to each sentence. 

You know the BEST place in the whole of Brunei to get nasi katok with the MOST SPICY sambal.

You call Coke, Sprite, Pepsi basically any drink that isn’t water: OREN.

You’ve used the RIPAS or JPMC shuttle bus and were surprised at how good it was.

You’ve waited two hours at RIPAS emergency only to get that pink medicine and panadol.

You know that Sunday morning is breakfast time with friends or family.

You’ve commented BOOK SIS for basically anything from food to people.

Whenever it’s over 30 degrees or over (which is basically everyday!) you say “panas eh Brunei ani".

You’ve gotten the NOT AVAILABLE IN YOUR COUNTRY or NOT ABLE TO DELIVER TO YOUR COUNTRY message.

You’ve had to jangkau food since you were heading out.

You find every opportunity to karaoke and annoy your neighbors.

You had to listen to your neighbors karaoke and complained about it on social media.

You post throwback pictures from your holiday from six months ago.

You have pictures of the sunset or sunrise on your camera roll.

You always try to runding the policemen when you are caught speeding.

...Even though you are always informed in advance when the roadblocks are. 

You don't take the bus because you think it smells and it’s only for workers...yet you’ve never actually tried going on one, EVER.

You have to kirim barang from someone if they are away on a trip. “Fridge magnets please!”

Your passport is filled with immigration stamps from Malaysia and Singapore.

You go on holiday ANYWHERE with two empty suitcases and somehow come back with TEN full ones.

You know a real life Babu Sinur.

You are concerned about oil prices but only if it affects your daily expenses.

You listen to a titah hoping it relates to you somehow, and even if it doesn’t you find ways to quote it.

You are used to having workers stalk you when you enter a store.

You have a closet full of cara melayu but only wear the same ones.

Your outfit are clothes you’ve bought online. Zalora, Asos, online shopping FTW!

You complain when something goes up in price even if it is only 20 cents and try to haggle over the price even at a department store.

You have to book half a restaurant to have a “small” family dinner.

You have one person in the family who is the “supir”.

You’ve been asked to wait at the most random places to be picked up. 

You are trying out Progresif because you are tired of annual fees from DST. #iamprogresif

You go to the cinema only after the opening credits.

You’ve wanted to get ice cream from the fridge only to find it’s actually frozen fish.

You know that the beach is the place to go to conduct illegal activity such as drinking & fornication although you swear you've never done it yourself.

You tapau food after an event is over (sometimes even during an event).

You’ve gone to the airport to send someone off for their studies.

You’ve gone to JP and actually enjoyed yourself.

You’ve waited outside a kedai runcit for someone to buy something for you.

You have at least one Whatsapp group on mute.

You downloaded the Brunei Foodies, Food Panda and Oh My Food app but still don’t know where to eat.

You want to go out to eat but your friend has to say, “Bah siapa belanja?”. 

When you ask people where they want to eat they say, “Manasaja”

Your friends get married on the same day and you don't know which one to go to.

You waited over an hour at a bersanding for the food, only to go to a restaurant to eat again afterwards.

You go to someone's wedding, you give money using an envelope and put your name on it or if you think you don't give enough you use a blank envelope.

You’ve driven to a place even though it’s less than 200m away.

You think a seven year loan repayment plan is a reasonable way to own a car.

You top up petrol with $3, only rarely panuh hijau (end of the month!).

You have specialised number plates for your family.

You have a jumper or jacket to wear in the office because IT’S TOO COLD.

You get excited hearing Mr. Softy music.

You have at least one relative who lives in England, Australia or the US.

You’ve asked for the Wifi password at a restaurant.

You’ve joined a run to add another shirt to your collection.

You go to the Consumer Fair even though you know what to expect.

You colour coordinate during Hari Raya.

You’ve been part of a convoy. 

During CNY you don’t know whether you’re dressed too formally or too casually.

You’ve waved a small Brunei flag.

When you are at event and RTB cameras are around, you check the 8pm news to see if you are on tv.

You drop any plans you had with friends for family because family always comes first.

You know most of the people - "eh si anak si anu eh saudara si blabla".

What do you think of the 2016 list? Check out the previous versions here: Brunei Resources , I Am A Proud Bruneian , Logieboi

Think more should be on the list? Use the tag #youknowyouarebruneian or comment below to add yours! Got a list, or idea? Email them to brublahblah@gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Or follow us here on Tumblr.  

[brublahblah]

#KemLife

We have all been there, ladies and gentlemen. Those square tents, 30 chairs around one rectangular buffet table, and a fan if you’re lucky. You probably do not know this person getting married, or you do but have not seen them in ages, but you sit through the heat anyway. Anything for the free food. Halls might be popping up left, right and centre, but we can’t forget these kems. So we’ve collected some kem life musings below:

Scouting the kem before you decide which one to enter. “Do I know her? Her..hmmm. Oh I know her but I definitely do NOT want to sit there. Next kem.” *Avoids eye contact*

"One bag here for my mum, door gift here for my friend, tissue here for my sister, tissue here for my other sister, pen here for my cousin, one shoe here for my nenek, other shoe here for my mother in law. One tudung pin on this seat for my mother in law’s second cousin. One headscarf for my second cousin once removed. And I'll leave one seat in the camp free to be polite."

"Please don't ask me if this seat is empty please don’t ask me if this seat is empty....”

Secretly passing "the envelope" through a handshake even though everyone expects you to do it, knows you're doing it, and in some places, bring baskets to collect them in.

"Let me inch the chair forward a bit, no one can tell, need more shade. And just a liiiiiiittle bit further. Oh damn now I've gone too far.”*inconspicuously moves back half an inch.*

"Yeah right, for your mother my ass, we all know you're packing all that food for yourself!"

Tilting the fan towards you when nobody's looking. “Nobody else really needs to stay cool right? Only me right?”

During those night functions. “Why is that light flickering? Stop it. Oh ok, now that light has completely gone off! WHO IS THIS PERSON SITTING NEXT TO ME NOW?!”

“Maybe if I sit this way it’ll be more comfortable. *shuffles in seat* How about this way? *slides body to the left* How about this way. *slides to the right* I’m going to lean back now *falls to the ground*

How many of these have you thought while waiting in kems? Comment below.

Got a list, or idea? Email brublahblah [@] gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

13 Things You Wish You Could Do At A Raya Open House

You’re all grown up by now and should really know what to do when entering someone’s house, but aren't there some things you wish you could do?

Front Door Parking - Park straight outside the front door and leave the car keys to the tuan rumah. “If anything just move the car! I’ll be eating inside.”

Snoop Around - Why confine yourself to the living room area? There’s a whole house to explore! Master bedroom, upstairs toilet, closets...that’s the true meaning of open house!

Get Real Comfortable - 30 minutes is too short to visit. You really need to stay at least 7 hours to really get to know someone. See the host get uncomfortable as you eat their precious food. 

"Bila Kau Kawin?" - Any time somebody asks you this question they have to give you $100 to contribute to your wedding. “You want me to get married right? The wedding isn’t going to pay for itself!” 

Turn Up For What - Near a person’s house? No need to call or Whatsapp in advance. They should be prepared to see you, even if they’re in their baju tidur. 

Ampau Please - Say “Yes, me please” to the person handing out the green packets. No need for explanation or pauses as to whether you’re too old to get it. 

Open Download - Reached your data cap for the month? Bring your laptop and ask for the Wifi password to download all your favourite TV shows.

Kueh On Demand - Have a craving for a kueh but find out they don’t have it? Simply ask to the hosts to make it from scratch to satisfy your sweet tooth.

Toilet Oasis- Take your time in the toilet. Everyone else can wait! Your bathroom needs are what matter the most. FLUSH.

Photoshoot Diva - Clear everyone out of the room to get your hari raya Instagram likes. Arrange the furniture and move the decoration to your liking and..POSE.

TV Controller - Switch the TV channel over from RTB to something more exciting on Astro. Put the Food Network or Asian Food Channel on max volume. 

Salam Solver - Avoid confusion as to who to salam by leaving the house through a window. Problem solved.

Nap Time - Fully lie down and take a nap mid-conversation if you’ve completely lost track. You can have the quality nap you were after.

Got a list, or idea? Email brublahblah [@] gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

Hari Raya Open House Bingo

We’re back this raya with another hari raya bingo! This time for when you’re hopping from one open house to another. Check off if you come across any of these things. Let us know if you get four in a row. 

If you wanna share it on Instagram use the tag #rayabingo #brublahblah 

Got a list, or idea? Email brublahblah [@] gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

#GrowingUpBruneian

It started off with the #GrowingUpBlack hashtag and the trend grew into #GrowingUpWhite, #GrowingUpArab, #GrowingUpMexican and more! Bruneians wanted in on the action and conjured up hundreds of tweets using the tag #GrowingUpBruneian and #GrowingUpABruneian! Here are some of our favourite tweets using the tags:

#GrowingUpBruneian when you tryna sign up for smthg and asks for ur country but its not on the list :'))

— ITS MY BDAY (@eroticliffrd)

#GrowingUpBruneian if you don't finish your rice and you throw it in the trash your parents would always your rice is crying in the bin

— ITS MY BDAY (@eroticliffrd)

#GrowingUpBruneian that feel you get when you're grocery shopping on a weekend but you forgot to bring your recycling bag

— ITS MY BDAY (@eroticliffrd)

#growingupbruneian NEVER point your index finger to a rainbow or else your finger will melt HAHAHAHAHA

— Syazwina S (@wina18chu_)

#GrowingUpBruneian Never ever sing while your cooking or else you will future husband will be an old man

— Syazwina S (@wina18chu_)

#GrowingUpBruneian "inda kuasa" superstitions

— anuhstayjuh (@anvstvsxa)

#GrowingUpBruneian "kalau betiarap jadi buaya"

— dee (@diyanhna)

#GrowingUpBruneian where u must finish ur rice or else it will cry

— dee (@diyanhna)

#GrowingUpBruneian opening an ice cream container and looking at seasoned fish

— Ezyonce (@23Rasy)

#GrowingUpBruneian "dulu masa zaman nini/mama/bapa mu..." kind of lectures

— ℰℛ (@Effahrambli)

#GrowingUpBruneian recieves $30 for a full ramadhan

— عزي (@izziehisham)

#GrowingUpBruneian seeing our mums tapau food at the end of their relatives' event...

— ℰℛ (@Effahrambli)

#GrowingUpBruneian cannot change places when eating or else you'll have a lot of husbands/wives

— ℰℛ (@Effahrambli)

Traffic jam everytime got car accident bc everyone is so kepo #growingupbruneian

— Samantha (@samanthaacrup)

#GrowingUpBruneian we never drink the soya bean during raya 😂

— عزي (@izziehisham)

"Cuba kau liat anak si .... bisai ulah nya" #GrowingUpBruneian

— Bazilah Muhammad (@bazilbazilah)

#GrowingUpBruneian when you want to salam that one old person but he/she just touches your hand and let's go at a speed of light liKE PLZ

— Syazwina S (@wina18chu_)

#GrowingUpBruneian 'bah' means 30 more mins before going home.

— حاج عبدول وافي (@thisiswafiy)

us girls gotta remember who to double-cheek kiss and triple-cheek kiss #GrowingUpBruneian

— Syah (@syahsuhairi)

#GrowingUpBruneian if you're going out, you must touch the rice or you'll be kempunan

— dun (@extrairdinary)

#GrowingUpBruneian the elderly will say "bah makan tah" while youre eating

— Nisa (@nisaamusa)

#GrowingUpBruneian when you salam women and you're not sure to do the kiss salam thing three times or two

— ✿ ⓕⓘⓕⓢ ✿ (@Fifs_Frantastic)

#GrowingUpBruneian where girls might hesitate on the 2nd cheek kiss then go for the 3rd

— dee (@diyanhna)

#GrowingUpABruneian "jangkau dulu makanan, kepunan karang"

— Kd (@_Kaydizzle)

When you salam those moms who have those big gem stone bling bling rings on their fingers is what you call raya pain #GrowingUpBruneian

— ℰℛ (@Effahrambli)

#GrowingUpABruneian time beraya "anak siapa kan niii basar sudah"

— wafi (@WxfiJxffren)

#GrowingUpBruneian " kenapa marks eng ani lagi tinggi dari bm?? "

— IA ☹ (@izzyzah)

Jgn makan maggi indomie masa kan exam #GrowingUpABruneian

— SYAZANA 'IZZATI✨ (@syazzzzzx)

#GrowingUpBruneian telling kids that "ada hantu tu sana" when you dont want them to explore a part of a house

— Najwa Abdullah (@nnnha_)

#GrowingUpABruneian *fluent in Malaysian and indonesian slang*

— Aidaa (@_AidaDin)

#GrowingUpBruneian "perasan cakap english jua" "utamakan bahasa melayu" "lacis urang putihnya" "speaking tah ya tu"

— Sahira Shahminan (@saheeruh)

#GrowingUpBrunei "so Malaysia esuk raya. Brunei lusa. syaitan jin kana lapas kan kah nda tu?""menunggu di kuala lurah tu dorang"

— ✌ (@AmalBasmah)

Radio, before announcement" plays raya songs "After announcement" plays sad songs " Brunei never fails to amuse me 😂😂

— Mujib? Mujib (@Jibb233)

Visiting the relatives *greets and seek for forgiveness with the cousins* 5mins later..Cousin:ehhhh baiee kau ani eh #GrowingUpBruneian

— Nabs (@nabilah_abdul)

#GrowingUpBruneian our sumpahan and swear words are on point

— Najwa Abdullah (@nnnha_)

#GrowingUpBruneian when "mua mu ah" is an acceptable comeback in every argument

— Najwa Abdullah (@nnnha_)

"tutup jua cuculnya tu. bejalan kali""bah cuba text, manatau ada org dirumah"#GrowingUpBruneian

— Emma Yusop (@emsndr)

#growingupbruneian majlis be likeaunt: bah lai makan ah makanme: *mouth full of food* awu

— hani (@lourrylol)

#GrowingUpBruneian Parent: kenapa kau *insert kesalahan* ani? laju jawab!Me: pasal....Parent: EH PANDAI SUDAH MENJAWAB

— 51 (@SyafiyIzady)

#GrowingUpBruneian 'anak mu ni? Basar panjang sudah ya'Apa yg basar panjang? 😳

— helloariff (@mohdarff)

#GrowingUpABruneian asks mum if i can go somewhere "tanya bapamu" asks my dad "tanya mamamu"

— Marlisa (@lxxzvhhhh)

#GrowingUpBruneian when you salam then "eh siapa tua?"

— Waf (@_S_Wafaa)

#GrowingUpABruneian comparing everything's price with nasi katok

— Najwa Abdullah (@nnnha_)

#GrowingUpBruneian kena bagi ceramah free oleh parents sebelum kan jalan sama kawan

— Fatin (@fatinbahrum)

*Ampau kan kana bagi* Esen inda meliat.. #GrowingUpBruneian

— Alip Aziman (@_aRleep)

#GrowingUpABruneian *offers food*"No thank you.""Jangkau"

— maggot (@Thing_A1)

#GrowingUpBruneian"payah eh inda ku dapat buat ni ma""yatahtu, semuanya kan inda pandai kau ni lai. Cubatah belajar"

— Chili Farm (@ffilaluziza_)

"aku banaa banaaa kan kau, param pam pam" #GrowingUpBruneian

— dun (@extrairdinary)

#GrowingUpBruneian"inda ku tejumpa ma barang ah""kalau mama tejumpa, awas kau"5 seconds later, mama jumpa.She a wizard.

— Chili Farm (@ffilaluziza_)

Got a list, or idea? Email brublahblah [@] gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

Annoying Things About Going To The Cinema In Brunei

NEW AVENGERS FILM! *GASP* You message your Whatsapp group and check if everyone is free. Eagerly go online and book tickets. Now the movie screening day arrives! You head to the cinema wearing your fav Avengers shirt and smile on your face. How quickly that smile is wiped off when you have to go through these annoying things:

Booking

After calling and booking your seats you have to rush to the cinema to pay for them. Then it’s just waiting in the lobby for ages before the movie starts. (Yes we know you can pay fully online but who really wants to do that?)

Latecomers

You’re settled in nice and comfy and then a whole row of people decide to come in late. You have to get out of your seat or move your legs but they still manage to stumble over them.

Bangang

Despite the subtitles and simple plot there are some who insist on asking whoever is next to them what’s going on. “Huh, siapakan tu?” “So, he’s the bad guy?” “Is that Vin Diesel? Iakah?”

Local Ads

Explaining what is happening in an advert is not how adverts are supposed to work. “Wow that sounds like a great deal.” “Yes it does” “I will buy it” NO IT DOESN’T.

“Whispering”

Guys, you’re not whispering. Everyone can hear what you are saying. If you want to talk out loud you go to a restaurant, Airport Mall, Muara beach...anywhere but a cinema.

Social Media Updaters

You notice a random light on the ceiling and trace it to a person updating their Instagram. Not everyone needs to know you are about to watch a film. #watching #film #now #excited #liveupdate

Random Cutscenes

The film suddenly gets cut mid-sentence, the audio drops and the lead character is in a completely different place. At least do it subtly!

Urang Berdating

Sitting next to couples who insist on spending the movie giggling to each other. OK we get it, it’s a date but your giggling is not supposed part of my movie experience. 

Crying Babies

It isn’t appropriate to bring your baby to a film with ultra-violence, swearing and gore. You want to know why the baby crying? It’s because of the LOUD NOISES and BLOOD EVERYWHERE ON SCREEN.

Frozen (No, Not The Movie)

People go into the cinema wearing enough layers to go on a ski-trip. It gets too cold and by the end of the film you look like you were in the freezer for an hour and a half.

Spoiled Ending

A climatic ending? No of course not! The ushers come in and decide to open the doors to signal the end of the film. The credits have not even rolled yet?! Why are the doors being open?

What are some of the annoying things about going to the cinema in Brunei? Got a list, or idea? Email brublahblah [@] gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Follow us here on Tumblr.  

[brublahblah]

10 Things That Go Through Your Mind At A Tahlil

Dressed in your finest jubah you head to the tahlil to remember loved ones and catch up on the latest family gossip. But what are you really thinking? 

"Where's the food?" - Positioning yourself at the most strategic location so that you can get to the buffet table fastest. You waited the whole day for this tahlil.

"PINS AND NEEDLES" - Every Time. Doesn't matter how often you change your sitting position. It catches you every time. Like. Can you not?

"Page berapa dah ah?" - How do these people read so fast? What do you eat? Is this what they learnt at ugama school that one time I skipped when I pretended to be sick?

“Gila alai jua yo!” - When there's an alai and you're praying that she's not your distant cousin or in any way related to you.

"I bet that person there is just lip syncing too anyway." - You try your best to keep up but end up just mouthing along since you've lost the page you're supposed to be on.

"I’m not sitting there. Or there. Or there. Definitely not there." - Avoid sitting next to the distance uncle that burps too much. Cousins gotta stick together.

"Don't make eye contact. They will know you're faking it. Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Oh dammit we made eye contact. Shit did I just curse at a tahlil. Shit I did it again." - This happens throughout the night and you can't explain why.

“HELLO I AM HERE” - Find yourself mid-salam being talked over. Ani Anak siapa ni. Bah kawinkan tia sama anakku eh. They never address you directly, it's like you aren't there at all.

"My neck hurts, how many more adults do I have to salam? Neck massage tomorrow oh yeah." - When you leave the house and make a mental note if you've salam everyone.

“Hope nobody blocked my car” - After trying to find your shoes at the door you go to the car hoping nobody blocked it. If it is blocked you have to wait awkwardly waiting for it to be clear.

Disclaimer: This website is satire and we do not discourage people from carrying out their religious duties. Content is for entertainment purposes only.

What goes through your mind during a tahlil? Comment below.

Got a list, or idea? Email brublahblah [@] gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

For the month of Ramadhan we are gently reminded to restrain ourselves, not to overindulge and cautioned against food wastage. Yet somehow sungkai buffets are a staple of Bruneian cuisine. But...it’s the only time of the year you don’t get mocked for eating lots! STOP JUDGING ME. Let’s look at some of the people you meet at a sungkai buffet.

The Pile-Master

Our all-time favourite and the most common. It's a game of how much they can fit onto a plate. If their plate was a painting it would hang in a gallery.

The Rugi One 

Eats barely a plate. You’re not sure if they’ve eaten anything at all.

The Ambilkannnn

The one who makes the person sitting next to them or the youngest get food for them because they’ve gone to one buffet line too many.

The New Couple

Both look very hungry, restraining themselves to look civilized. Will both be dreaming about the buffet that night. They take dates together to signify their first date. 

The Food Stockpiler

Saw one dish they wanted and decided to go to the buffet based on it alone. First in line when the tray gets refilled. 

The First In Line

Breaks the awkward moment when everyone sits and waits for the first person to start the buffet line. Nobody wants to be the first one to start! But someone has to! 

The Let's Leave One

Cleans out the buffet tray but then decides to leave one piece of chicken left. USUALLY THE WORST PART. JUST TAKE IT. NOBODY IS GOING TO HAVE IT.

The “Berbapa Round Sudah Ni?”

The one who has to draw attention to how many rounds you’ve gone. No, this is my first round. My trousers are supposed to fit like that.

The I Will Get My Money’s Worth

You usually ask this person, “Where is that from?” since they managed to find all the food the buffet offers. Food finds them, they are the Food Whisperer. 

The Last One-Standing

They are the first one coming in and they will be the last one out. When everyone else is full they find room for ONE more cake slice and ONE more leg of lamb.

The À la carte

They are usually the one with the sulky face. They’re at the buffet reluctantly since no one was able to send them to the much better sungkai buffet. 

The Tapau-er

(That’s not a word!) It clearly states you can’t tapau food but they find a way to take some in their handbag. “Jaga, jangan tumpah!” 

The Dessert Table Assassin

Heads straight to the dessert table without seeing the starters, mains or sides. Target locked, yummy chocolate cake devoured. Mission accomplished.  What do you do when you head to sungkai buffets? Let us know anything we’ve missed in the comments below. Got a list, or idea? Email brublahblah [@] gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Follow us here on Tumblr.

[brublahblah]

What To Do When You Bump Into Your Ex’s Family Members

The dating scene in Brunei moves really fast. You’re hanging out at your partner’s family lunches two weeks into knowing each other and before you know it, you’ll be calling their auntie “Amit” as well. Which leaves you in sort of a sticky situation once you break up. Given that everyone here is related, this raya is sure to put us in a bind. Here is our advice on how to handle these situations:

- HIDE. Behind the car, behind the fruit display, behind the lamp post, behind a friend, depending on where you are. At least try to hide.

- RUN.  As soon as you catch a glimpse of a family member, put on that sports gear you always keep stashed and switch on the Usain Bolt inside you.

- WIGS. Take out dat ‘fro and dem oversized glasses and party like it’s 1973. Make sure to always prep a wig that colour coordinates with your raya outfit.

- IGNORE. Pretend you don’t know them, even though you’ve been over their place so many times you know where everything is in their kitchen.

- ABORT. Quickly make your way to the exit. Drop everything you’re holding, the conversation you’re having, and head straight to the door. Abort! Abort!

- ILEKSHA. Since you already know where everything in their kitchen is, just chill and shamelessly make yourself at home.

- SMILE. And have a conversation with them like a normal person, like you did not break their beloved’s heart, or vice versa.

Got a list, or idea? Email brublahblah [@] gmail.com. We’re on Facebook, like and follow to get the latest update. Follow us here on Tumblr.