bruce-wayne-simp

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absolutely amazing things happening right now. I had to triple check that these were real

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does anyone else think about edward kenway being disowned by his father and then a year later meeting thatch who has time for him and wants to mentor him and see him grow. because i do. an unreasonable amount

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An early Halloween cartoon for Guardian Books

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the weirdly vengeful and petty tones aborted babies take in pro-life propaganda images are so funny like this passive aggressive "was it worth it mommy?" and "it's a shame you can't join me in heaven mommy 😔" like do you ever wonder if you were aborted for a reason you little bitch ass baby

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you have to understand that i once worked at a lab with a walk-in freezer set at all times to -30 degrees (-34 C) and one summer we had a horrendous heatwave and i had to bike to work every day and i didn't want to spend the first hour of work drenched in sweat, still trying to catch my breath and cool off.

well one day the first thing i had to do in the morning was grab some samples from the -30, and i walked in and all of the sweat on my body basically flash-freezed and it felt so good. i cooled down in 20 seconds.

so from then on every single day when i got to work i just walked into the freezer and stood there for a minute.

i was usually the first in so nobody noticed for a few weeks until one day i walked in, panting from my bike ride on an unusually hot day, too breathless to talk, and one of my coworkers was there early and he started talking to me but I just wheezed an apology and put my finger up to say "one moment" and I walked into the freezer and then a minute later I came back out totally recovered and I said "sorry! : ) what were you saying?"

and he said

"how long have you been doing that?"

[bruce-wayne-simp]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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I remember the sunwell

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gotta give credit to gravity falls for having a cartoon explicitly set during the summer but going

“hey we wanna do a halloween episode” “but it’s summer” “the town has a regional not!halloween called summerween fuck you”

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"actively hungry" + "none of the foods sound good at all" is one of the worst combinations. who let this happen

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Today's art is something I drew as a request! Once again I know absolutely nothing about who this dude is or what he's from, but I hope ya'll can appreciate it regardless.

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I'm, above all else, a tangentgirl. always saying shit like "sidenote," "oh also," "by the way,"

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ib: crepuscularqueens

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Cats getting caught doing crimes

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daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

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saddest thing that can happen is a cat so delicately and cozy putting their small apple head on your leg like a pillow to sleep while fully unaware that in like five minutes you're going to get up to go eat because they don't know human language or how time works

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MAYHEM NO

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Nothing gives the same kind of random ego boost like managing to finally clean up your home and making it nice. Like ooh look at me, I'm living like people do, I made myself iced tea and I am eating my snack from a real plate. I got floors and shit.