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My Pinterest is about to become fucking unusable.

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I don't even know which side of the family Nick's conspicuously Italian cousins that canonise him as Italian-American are from.

Thor V1 #344 & #373

I know this doesn't matter. I know! But my brain needs to make sense of this and it isn't. It isn't. What is this man's family situation and why are his two secret sons the least complicated part of it.

Having a breakdown trying to work out Nick Fury SR's parent situation.

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I'm genuinely about to have a nervous breakdown over this shit it makes no fucking sense.

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So initially his dad is meant to die in 1918.

Strange Tales #159

This really doesn't make any sense because Dawn and Jake are meant to be Nick's full siblings, and Dawn is 16 in 1942 (it could be any time during the war, so that's the most charitable date).

Sgt. Fury and the Howling Commandos #68

There is a handbook which has changed this date to be later, although I rarely consider the handbooks hard canon, but it's the best we have I guess.

Defenders: Strange Heroes #1

So what I'm struggling with is that Nick has to be at minimum 10 years older than Jake, right? Like he's clearly a lot older than he is and he is meant to have been around the block a few times by the time he gets to Sgt. Fury and the Howling Commandos, who are already established in #1. He is, at a very generous minimum, 30 in that series.

So I guess my confusion is that Nick is so loving and trusting with this woman, who would have come into his life, at absolute youngest, when he's 15, 16 years old. He calls her mama, for fucks sake. He calls her his favourite woman!

Sgt. Fury and the Howling Commandos #68

And granted, this is possibly me projecting my own relationship with my step-parent onto this situation, but I was a lot younger than Nick when my stepfather entered my life, and I still exclusively refer to him as his first name. I do also have a relationship with my bio father, which is why that is the way it is, but I struggle to accept someone who has known their mother for 14 years (at minimum) of their life and then had their father rapidly remarry and then die shortly after would take to this woman so quickly. Dawn? Absolutely, she was a baby. Jake? He's only 5 or something, makes sense. Nick, at age 16? That doesn't make any sense to me. Certainly not with the kind of untrusting, hard-ass, paranoid personality Nick has.

Nothing about this makes sense, and it's irrationally irritating me.

Having a breakdown trying to work out Nick Fury SR's parent situation.

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im the wwii soldiers who got so bored and horny that they collectively invented the idea of finding breasts attractive

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🍸

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I'm sorry Lex Luthor mutuals I just do not have the lovers heart in this case.

His ass would not be that fat.

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His ass would not be that fat.

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I can hear really loud Kesha outside in the park nearby.

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Jean grey let’s goooo!!!

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It's funny because I blocked the word republican because I got tired of seeing American politics I cannot participate in being on my dash.

And yet. Every time a post crosses my dash that says "Includes filtered word: Republican"

My first thought. without fail.

is "Surely they're talking about Irish republicanism as a political ideology and social history and it's relevance to other freedom movements across the world! What an interesting post, I should go check it out!"

It never is, surprisingly.

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Just received a vision of Nick Fury SR as a butch and now I think I'm gonna be stuck on this all day. Sorry.

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Not at all a complete collection.

Nick Fury loves to be shirtless.

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Nick Fury loves to be shirtless.

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I genuinely don't even consider Sasquatch like implicitly trans like She Just Was until fucking JAMES HUDNALL came in and decided no. Not only was she literally a woman but she was also high key bisexual, openly flirting with men while struggling with experiencing attraction to women and feeling predatory (‼️) for feeling that way. Marvel may have forgotten but I haven't.

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hello comic book fan on tumblr dot com. before you is a machine. in order to not activate it, all you have to do is name four queer comic book characters. one of them must be a character of color, one of them a lesbian, and the third a trans character. fourth is a freebie, but must actually be canon. if any of them are headcanons or "queer coded for realsies!!" or in an alternate universe, then the trap goes off and you will never be able to post on the internet again due to not having a head or hands. good luck.

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My favourite thing about Steve Rogers is that he will never ever get free and he has been doomed since he put that suit on ❤️