budwizer

[budwizer]

cringe!

[budwizer]

the world ends with me.

your lives end with mine.

my final breath will be yours as well.

the sun will no longer be real.

nobody ever existed.

what proof is there that life truly continues after i die?

people dying around me. they're duds.

failures and misfortunes of my previous lives.

i am them. they are me.

i die. i end. i continue with someone else.

i am every person ive ever met. i am every living thing ive ever seen.

i deserve pain.

i deserve death.

if my previous lives decided i should my own, so be it.

ill miss everybody dearly.

i hope in another life i won't be so miserable.

[budwizer]

I need to control my mood swings. I know my friends love me I know they do. we're just busy at different times and that's okay. they love me and I love them

[budwizer]

you dont think about me anymore

you dont love me

you dont love me

you dont love me

[budwizer]

what's so horrible about playing all day? whats so horrible about having friends? Tell me.

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you can fucking have sam and sam can fucking have you im so sick of people playing with me like this im so sick of you two i fucking hate you

[budwizer]

maybe if i actually mattered to you you'd actually pay fucking attention to me

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I wish i had actually killed myself this summer

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just fucking leave me already ill never be enough for any of you its always something missing or something i dont have fucking time i don't have to do nothing all day I WISH I COULD dont keep me in your thoughts either i hate you i hate all three of you go fuck off and have fun somewhere else im not worth waiting for just LEAVE

[budwizer]

God i hope you fucking learn one day i hate you WHY DO YOU TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME I FUCKING HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

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wow i just miss u SO MUCH when its 5 am and s*m and h*nn*h dont wanna play anymore :((( u just matter to me when theyre gone and nobody else is here cuz ur the dumbass that stays up with me even if i dont reply for an hour....ugh!! you're the best ���❤❤❤❤

FUCK

YOU

I HATE

ALL OF YOU

[budwizer]

g*d d*mn i dont wanna fucking talk to you LOL

[budwizer]

I cant do anything but drink

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i love you, but maybe this pain isn't worth it. is this same doubt even to be considered, if...its been here so long? but its grown stronger.

you got paranoid and took it out on me. i dont know how to feel about that. you obviously cant control it, you were in those circumstances, ect. it doesn't mean my feelings cant be considered though. no sorry can make up for that, that was a line you'd never crossed before. and now you're right on it and i don't know what to do.

[budwizer]

im a bad friend. 

why arent you happy for me?

[budwizer]

i had a dream i did lsd and started trying to kill matt while she tried to stop me

[budwizer]

if sed comes back shes taking my spot for good. im so terrified of that life again though. id only talk to him like 4 hours a day i was so so so depressed. i dont know what ill do if we go through that again. they'll be so much closer and they'll get along even better. maybe he'll just forget about me. he will. he will. i want him to be happy.