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Artist Profile: Haim

Haim will begin touring this fall to promote I Quit, their fourth studio album. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the band.

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Tumblr buggy for you?

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So a lot of sci-fi characters from mech pilots to 40k Space Marines to Samus Aran from Metroid tend to have interface connection ports over their bodies.

Just imagine getting an itch right where the flesh meets metal and constantly trying to get just under the lip of the metal to scratch it. A low but constant aggitation you'll never be able to get rid of

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Girl just block me it’s not that serious

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excuse me for stating the obvious but like. james gunn outright calling superman an immigrant and doubling down on it when he got backlash (because he IS an immigrant, that's the point of superman) + the in-movie dialogue of "aren't you going to read me my rights?" "you're an extraterrestrial, son. you haven't got any rights to read." + the violence of his arrest and how they torture and mistreat him unapologetically, all under the guise of "protecting america", in a film releasing during the onslaught of violent ICE kidnappings and abuse... yeah it's really no wonder right-wing knobheads are crying about this being woke. they're being forced to look directly at the reasons one of the most notorious heroes of all time would not be on their side. and that's only ONE of the reasons this movie covers

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Do you have any advice on sucking DILF cock in a respectful and god-honoring way?

That depends on which particular god you're honouring, really.

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"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

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We could have made the seasonal flu and covid extinct if we'd just kept up some simple, basic precautions for a little bit longer. Instead we get endless waves of respiratory illness because Joe Biden wanted bs political points for "ending the pandemic" he couldn't even spend because *checks notes* he got covid so bad he couldn't run for reelection.

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God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

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I need to stop staying up late :/

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one zug would be a zug too few. three zugs would be a zug too many. seek moderation in all things

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Smeemo's Risky Bathtub Adventure........

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this is the only shit I open TikTok for

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the biohazard symbol really was a winner. that thing looks scary

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Providing my slimegirl headmate with enrichment by putting her in one of those cartoony series of flasks and stills and tubes like a hamster in a big tube maze