burdeners-blog

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"You’re lonely too." from gabe!!

deathless memes / accepting.

edith’s humorless laugh overlaps with the thunk-thunk-thunk of her palm against the bottom of her cigarette cartridge. sitting in gabriel’s cobwebbed living room with one leg draped over the other, a cloud of smoke obscuring her face as she takes that first drag, she is the definition of poised weariness. although traces of her inevitable downfall are visible, they are fleeting.  

         ❛ yes — but not of my own volition. ❜

there is a smile on her face as she says it. how fitting of her to finally admit it to a priest of all people, and long after she has lost the bulk of her faith. she once suspected it would be her loneliness that would drive her back into the arms of her creator. after all, religion dreams up hope where there is none. but the reckoning never came. all the church ever made her feel was filthy ; whenever she drunkenly wanders into cathedrals, sinks into the pews to release flood-gates of tears, it is to remind herself of this fact. for who is edith without self-hatred ?

her face drains itself of expression as she leans forward to study him, the ashtray in front of her being a pretext. she wonders whether his loneliness has bound him closer to god in the way hers never could, or if, like her, he finds himself more lost than ever. the coolness of her gaze borders on detachment, but beneath the surface is a well of concern. gabriel is not like her. society has deemed him worthy of agency, of happiness — and he squanders it.

          ❛ you hide yourself in this house. don’t visit nobody. don’t preach to nobody. ❜ edith has taken his hand in hers ; a scandal, if others were present.  ❛ where’s the holiness in that ? ❜

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it’s like i always say: fuck

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unconceivable‌:

  folding her arms and popping a hip, she leans back to assess the scene with a hmm. ‘ -you’re not part of the true crime community, right? i’m liking this morbid enthusiasm a lot, but i’d have to totally split if you say yes. ’ 

     “The what.” The what! “The who? The what?” He leans casually against the doorframe; a floorboard creaks. “Do I want to know what that is?”

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bonnmot‌:

‘Yeah?’ Kim mutes her side of the babbling speakerphone, gesturing for Noor to move into the room from the doorway. Her hand moves to hover over her phone, ‘this can wait. What’s up?’

     Oh no. This is a thing now. Kim was on the phone and now she’s not, this-can-waits aside. Noor sweats for a moment. “I’m gonna cut to the chase. I got an offer for a room from this guy on Craigslist and he says it’s free and that all I have to do is help him with his documentary, which, let’s not get into that right now but definitely a red flag, and I was wondering if there’s like, some legal thing I can do to make sure he’s not like — ” She struggles for the right word. “A serial killer? Like, can I do a - a check on him?”

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@unconceivable

     “So, I got the police report about the murders. It’s like, super grizzly reading, kind of creeped me out, but as far as I can tell I think it happened, uh, right here actually.” Kit’s standing in the doorway to the kitchen, hands in his pockets, looking maybe a little too pleased with himself.

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@bonnmot

     ��Hi.” She’s poked her head around the door to Kim’s office and managed to keep her face remarkably un-winced for someone who’s about to ask her boss the stupidest thing in the history of stupid things. “Um, okay, so. I have a - request? And I wouldn’t bother you with it unless it was super important, obviously.”

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Three out of four stars. Not bad, but could still use some improvement.

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Is He, Y’know *T-Poses*....Christian?

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folkangel‌:

it has been almost eight years since edith left home for greenwich village. in that time she has made album covers and magazine spreads ; marched down south and back north ; become a frequent conversation topic at the homes of thousands of strangers. yet whenever she returns to her family in the midwest, she is simply treated as edie. at first it puzzled her — angered her, even. haven’t i done enough , she would think , haven’t i made myself something more ? 

but these days edith is grateful. the height of her career also has lows, and the simplicity of her roots recharges her. nothing keeps her ego in check, for example, like being sent by her mother on errands. this afternoon’s marching orders have her on the porch of a stately manor, rapping on the heavy door while balancing an armful of groceries. something in the wind here unsettles her. she has almost given up and retreated to the woods when someone answers.  

          ❛ afternoon, father. i’m helen walls’ girl. the one that lives out of town. ❜ edith has slipped into her regional diction. her plain clothes and humble posturing make her like any other girl in the north. the trademark sunglasses are the only clue to her fame. ❛ she sent these groceries for you — says she’s worried you don’t eat enough. ❜ cue an apologetic smile. | @burdeners

Gabriel likes the solitude. If anyone asks, that’s what he’ll tell them. The quiet has a familiarity to it, a warmth, a comfort. It’s out of the way, he rarely gets visitors, he can spend time alone thinking. Reflecting. Thinking.

He reads a lot. Listens to the radio from time to time. No television, but that doesn’t bother him. When he has visitors he makes them tea or coffee, otherwise the kettle goes cold. The house smells alternately like fresh paint and old wood, depending where he stands. The heavily tracked rooms – his bedroom, the living room, the bathroom, the kitchen – are warmer than the others, although they feel often so disproportionately cold that it’s hard to will up a desire to even walk past them.

He likes the solitude, he insists – it’s quiet and closer to God that way – but when he hears knocking, Gabriel all but runs to the door to answer it. Tracking across the entirety of the house is an effort and he’s exhausted himself worrying that his visitor will have left by the time he gets there, but there she is, Helen Walls’ girl, with food and a smile and company. He blusters for a moment, catching himself up. It’s Monday afternoon. (Easy to lose track in the middle of nowhere.)

     “Oh! Yes. Thank you so much.” His face breaks into a grin, more genuine than the slightly haphazard welcoming  smile he’d had on when he opened the door. He steps outside to lift a bag away from her and only realises when his feet catch the slight dampness seeping through his socks that he’s not wearing any shoes. “Edith, right? Helen’s told me so much about you. Would – I mean, you came all this way, would you like to come in? I can make tea.” 

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the gods honest truth is that gabriel has a little cat when hes at the house

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Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again.

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THE MIST (2007) SENTENCE STARTERS modify as necessary! trigger warnings for violence, death, threatening language

“All the food’s gonna go bad.”

“I’ve gotta start over from scratch.”

“Well, sweetie, you couldn’t exactly know that a tree was gonna come flying through the window.”

“It’s just stuff.”

“We’re safe. That’s all that counts.”

“I really don’t want you running all over the place.”

“You have incredibly low standards.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna punch him in the nose.”

“I’m sorry. I mean it. Sincerely.”

“You’re not heading into town today by any chance, are you?”

“‘Friends’ might be stretching it a little.”

“There’s something in the mist.”

“It’s death out there. It’s the end of days.”

“Stop it, okay? Stop it.”

“Let’s just stay cool. Let’s just try to figure out what happened.”

“I hope you all rot in hell.”

“If you need anything, just holler.”

“First thing we need to do is keep our wits about us and find out what’s happened.”

“It’s Judgment Day and it’s come round at last.”

“You’ve done that to yourself by a life of sin and dissolution.”

“You don’t seem to understand, or you’re trying real hard not to.”

“Would you just shut the fuck up already?”

“The next time you’ve got something to say, you count your teeth, because I’m sick to death of your bullshit.”

“You should’ve said what you meant better.”

“What we saw was impossible. You know that, don’t you?”

“It’s not my blood. I’m fine.”

“We’re in the deep shit here. People need to know.”

“I’m just not that stupid. I mean, what do you take me for?”

“We’ve got real problems to deal with here, and this pathetic attempt at a joke has gone far enough.”

“Well, don’t I feel foolish?”

“I actually thought you were being kind to me today, so thanks for setting me straight.”

“It appears we may have a problem of some magnitude here.”

“They’re not all bad. They can’t all be bad.”

“The day I need a friend like you, I’ll just have myself a little squat and shit one out.”

“You can’t convince some people there’s a fire even when their hair is burning. Denial is a powerful thing.”

“There’s none so blind as those who will not see.”

“Open your eyes. Let the scales fall away.”

“Your tongue must be hung in the middle so that it can waggle at both ends.”

“You’ll have to stop now. You’re scaring the children.”

“The bill is due. It must be paid.”

“Kid, you got brass balls.”

“You sure there’s no way I can talk you out of this?”

“Hey, how come you never asked me out?”

“Can we just stay in here a while? Just you and me?”

“My life for you.”

“Just sleep. Everything’ll be better in the morning.”

“You can’t fuck with me on this. Not like this.”

“We have to get out of here. I mean permanently.”

“You don’t have much faith in humanity, do you?”

“People are basically good as long as the machines are working and you can dial 9-1-1, but you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, you scare the shit out of them, you’ll see how primitive they get.”

“If you scare people badly enough, you can get them to do anything.”

“As a species, we’re fundamentally insane. If you put more than two of us in a room, we pick sides and start dreaming up reasons to kill one another. Why do you think we invented politics and religion?”

“Oh, Jesus, that’s just wrong.”

“Why can’t you just leave well enough alone?”

“Welcome to Sesame Street, today’s word is ‘expiation’.”

“I’m not spending the rest of my life here.”

“I’d rather die out there trying than in here waiting.”

“You stop your chickenshit whining or I will cut your puling tongue out.”

“I heard stuff. We all heard stuff.”

“Don’t you know by now? Don’t you know the truth?”

“Let’s see how far this fuel takes us.”

“Well, we gave it a good shot. Nobody can say we didn’t.”

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Paterson (2016) dir. Jim Jarmusch

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first reformed (2017, dir. paul schrader)

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first reformed (2017, dir. paul schrader)

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a ghost in the house: (appears in front of gabe) gabe: