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[byunskjm-blog]

Try Again II

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Length: 2k

TW: Mentions of miscarriage

Masterlist

Being separated from Junmyeon was hard for you. For the past 8 years of your life Junmyeon has always been there for you, now it was time to see what life was like without him. So far it sucked. You found an apartment closer to your job and it was nice that you didn’t have to use a car to get to work. Before you left you told him that you’ll be safe but you didn’t tell him where you would be. It was for the best that he didn’t know.

If you thought you could completely remove Junmyeon from your life you were wrong, you guys were still married after all. His occasional texts eased your heart, it helped to know that he still cared and he wasn’t ready to completely give up already. It may have been your idea to separate but the only reason you suggested it was because you knew he would be there for you to come back to. He went back to the hospital and you were glad. Being a surgeon is what he was meant to do and it was selfish of you to try and prevent him from doing what he loves.

It was 8 at night on a Saturday. Your coworker texted you asking if you wanted to go out tonight. Normally you would say no, but this was the perfect opportunity to try and venture out. You have accumulated quite the closet since being married to Junmyeon, every designer out there was probably in your wardrobe. Most of the time you weren’t even the one buying them, Junmyeon would give them to you as a present. This blue long-sleeve Dolce and Gabbana dress was one of those gifts. You liked the way it held your figure and accentuated your best features. Junmyeon always did know your taste better than you. After putting on a face of makeup you called a lyft to come and get you. The car pulled up to the club Jieun texted you, it was much more busier than you thought it’d be. In your mind you thought it’d be a small, underground club, not some rowdy rave. Supposedly Jieun had a guy on the inside who could get you guys good spots, she met you outside and led you in. When she took you to the booth you saw 2 guys sitting there, waiting. She is trying to set you up with someone. Before you guys could get to the booth you grabbed her.

“Jieun what are you doing?” Your teeth gritted trying your best not to show how annoyed you were.

“I wanted to help. I see how sad you are because of the divorce-”

“I’m not divorced. We are separated,” you corrected her mistake.

She shook her head, “Ok same difference.”

You narrowed your eyes, “It’s really not.”

“I don’t see a ring on that finger so try again.”

Crap. She got you there. After a month into your separation from Junmyeon you stopped wearing your ring. It only hurt you every time you put it on. It reminded you of all his broken promises, of the times when he was never home, of losing your baby. It’s new home was in your jewelry box. But that did not mean you were some prize up for auction.

“Jieun I am not going to go on a blind date. I came here to have a nice night not flirt.”

She raised her hand in defeat, “Fine, you don’t have to flirt with him. Just be nice. He is the reason we are in here.”

So that was the inside guy. You could easily be civil, so you nodded. Jieun continued back on the track to the table. A smile came on their faces when they saw you two. It kind of made you sick. Like they were predators eyeing their prey.

“This is Jongdae and Jongin.”

A little giggle escaped your mouth at the similarity to their names. “Are you guys brothers?”

The tanner one shook his head no. “We are just friends who have oddly similar names.”

You nodded and took a seat next to him. You assumed Jongin was the one Jieun tried to hook you up with. You figured that out because Jongdae and her were already sticking their tongues down each other’s throats. You needed a drink. A server walked past the table and you stopped her.

“One Vodka soda,” you ordered with a smile. Of course Jongin had a comment about your order.

“I never pegged you for a vodka kind of girl,” he said with a smirk that made you squirm.

You rolled your eyes. You know you were supposed to be playing nice but it was hard when he was being so creepy. “You don’t know me well enough to peg me to anything.”

He laughed at your comment and nodded. “You’re right.”

When your drink came you practically chugged it. If it will help you forget you were here right now then you would drink a whole bottle.

“Easy… don’t want you throwing up.” Jongin was watching you demolish the glass of vodka.

You slammed down the now empty glass and waved the server for another. With the alcohol now coursing through you it was hard to play pretend anymore. You turned to him, “Look Jongin. I’m sure you’re a great guy and all but I’m married.”

He looked down at your left hand trying to find the ring as if it would make you seem more believable. “I don’t see a ring.”

It annoyed you that just because you didn’t have a ring you were no longer married. That was the second time tonight that someone has tried to use that against. “I may not have a ring on my finger but I still have a husband.”

“Where is he then?” He was trying to pry this out of you. You’ve seen guys get girls to spill their life story, fuck them, then leave. You weren’t stupid.

“Not here.” The lady showed up with your second glass and no time was wasted, it was already down your throat before you could think. You were always a lightweight, it didn’t take much to get you plastered drunk and you knew at this rate you were getting there.

After your 5 more drinks and a couple hours you decided you couldn’t sit at this table, you wanted to dance. You got to your feet and walked down to the dance floor. Sweaty bodies surrounded you as you tried to make your way to the center. When you found a good space you lost yourself in the movement. The music took your body and you just moved to it as the alcohol worked it’s magic. Yup, you were drunk. It was fun till you felt a body against yours. You wanted to close your eyes and believe it was Junmyeon, but it wasn't. You turned around to see a tall guy you have never seen in your life. Suddenly you wanted to run away but the amount of people around you made it difficult. You reached out for someone to grab you but nothing. The mysterious man tried to pull you back but you fought. After struggling you broke free. You wanted to go back to your bed in your safe, secluded apartment. Your bag and your phone was upstairs so that’s where you went. Jieun was too busy to notice but not Jongin.

“Leaving so soon?” His fake frown showing.

You nodded before stumbling a little. After collecting your belongings you started to head towards the exit. Your head was saying call a lyft and go to your apartment, but your hands had other plans. The line on the other end rang. At the 5th ring it finally got picked up.

“Hello.” His groggy voice caused a breath of warmth to spread throughout your body. You missed him, you missed him so much.

“Hi.” Your voice was shaky. How could it be steady when you just hear his voice for the first time in months. “Were you asleep?”

There was no doubt about it. It was midnight and if he wasn’t at work then he was at home. “Yeah, but what’s up?” You picked up on the hint of worry in his tone.

“I want to come home Junmyeon.” It took you 7 glasses of vodka soda to come to this revelation. You never called your small apartment home, because it never was. Home was where your heart was, and your heart was always with Junmyeon. You don’t know why you thought space would help you, it only made things worse. The pain of losing your child was always going to be there but having Junmyeon next to you made it better. It kept you afloat. Space was never the answer. The answer was always him.

“Where are you?” You heard him shuffling through the phone like he was getting ready.

You told him the club name. He wanted you to go somewhere a bit safer till he came to get you. Usually that would be the time you hung up but you couldn’t bring yourself to do. You were afraid that if you did it would all be an illusion you made up. He stayed on the line with you, he didn’t have to speak, just knowing he was there was enough for you.

Fifteen minutes went by and you saw his black BMW pull up to the curb. When he got out of the car your breath hitched. He hasn’t changed, he was still the same. You wonder if he thought the same about you. When his eyes met yours is when he finally ended the call. Tears were welling in your eyes and the closer he got the more you felt like they were about to spill over. They finally did when he took you into his arms and held you close to his heart. This is what you needed, this was the missing puzzle piece. It was like he was trying to say everything he has wanted to say in the past 3 months with one hug. You felt his lips touch your head as he kissed your hair and whispered soft apologies. But he shouldn’t be the one apologizing. You were the one who ran away when you should have stayed and fought. He was burying his head into the crook of your neck and holding you tighter. He shared the same fear as you, the fear of blinking and everything being gone. But you came to terms with it and faced reality, reality was him being here with you and never letting go. Your hands grabbed his face and pulled him up to look at you so you could so those amber swirls you adored. You wanted him to understand that you were here to stay.

“I love you.” You truly did. You have always loved him and probably always will. Even in your darkest of times you managed to love him. There was no way you could continue without him besides you. His lips smashing into yours was all you needed to confirm he felt the same. You poured your heart into that kiss. My god did you love him. “Take me home.”

That night you found yourself in bed next to your husband where you were meant to be. He held you close making you feel the love he radiated for you. What made it even better was that when you woke up he was still there. He meant it when he told you that he changed. You felt good about this like you guys are going to be just fine.

Within the week you were out of your old place and back home with all your belongings. It took awhile for you and Junmyeon to be intimate again. He didn't pressure you for sex and that made you love him more. There was an understanding between the two of you. You guys weren't going to have sex in hopes of getting pregnant, of course if you did manage to get pregnant it wouldn't be bad, but for now sex was meant to be for pleasure and all the raw emotions that came with it, not out of responsibility.

When you and Junmyeon finally decided to renew your guys’ sex life it was hard to stop. The two of you were like hormonal teens who just discovered what sex was. Literally anywhere and everywhere you guys could get your hands on each other you would. So it was no surprise to you when not even 2 months later you turned out to be pregnant. This time around you didn't hesitate to tell Junmyeon. He was over the moon about the pregnancy but of course you had your reservations. But Junmyeon promised this time will be different because he would be here for you every step of the way and he was.

Nine months later you and Junmyeon were parents to a beautiful baby girl. The both of you decided to name her Kim Eunji. Eun meant kindness which she would inherit from you and ji meaning wisdom which her father would have passed down to her.

You would never forget your first child the one you couldn't meet. But you would cherish this one, both of you would. 

[byunskjm-blog]

I feel bad for only writing about Baekhyun and Junmyeon but like they’re my ults... With that said, part 2 of Try Again is coming soon and I am working on a BBH mafia au right now. So stay tuned for those :)

[byunskjm-blog]

Love the suho angst (try again) 😞🤧

Thank you :) im working on a part two 

[byunskjm-blog]

Dream

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst, High School! AU

Length: 7.5k

Masterlist

If you could go your senior without being noticed you’d love that. But that is not how it works out. Like any other teenager struggling to figure out the craziness that is life, you had very few hobbies that piqued your interest. Those being track and choir. When you’re taking 4 AP classes you are very prone to stress and running helps you relieve it. A couple of laps around the field and you feel refreshed and energized. Singing was something that brought you joy and genuine happiness. You’ve been singing since you were a tot running around in your diaper. As your mom likes to say, “If you weren’t crying you were singing.” Your friends Jieun and Chungha say you radiate, “Big Bitch Energy” but you couldn’t help if that’s how you came off to others. You were a type A kind of person. Everything had to be done properly and neatly, it’s how you have always been. You met your best friends in 6th grade by chance. You were walking around the track because you weren’t in dress code and it just so happened that Jieun and Chungha weren’t either. You all started to walk together and share your common interests. You found out that they also liked to sing but Chungha loved to dance more than anything. Jieun was a theater kid. From then on it has been the three of you against the world.

School was over at this point and it was just you and a couple of clubs who were meeting after school. You were walking back to the choir room from the bathroom when a voice hit your ears. It was so smooth and honey-like, you really question if it was real or just a delusion. You walked closer to the source to find out if this voice you were hearing was actually coming from a mouth. When you saw a 5’9 boy merrily strolling down the hall without a care in the world you confirmed it was in fact not a dream. But even if it was you didn’t want to wake up from it. He was about to walk through the double doors but you needed to know who it was or else you’d end up pulling your hair out over it.

“Excuse me!” You shouted from across the hallway.

It managed to reach him in time because he turned around with a confused look on his face. You knew immediately who those droopy eyes and round cheeks belonged to. Byun Baekhyun.

Not to be too stereotypical but Byun Baekhyun was the IT boy at your school. He did it all. He was a football god, great in academics, and apparently possesses the voice of an angel. Every girl wanted him and only the prettiest could have him. But have would be too exaggerated because these girls had him for one night and never again. That was another thing about Byun Baekhyun, his commitment was his best attribute. You have heard a lot of things from a lot of girls about him. Most of them were praising him and his flexibility which repulsed you to the point where you wanted to vomit in class. But his reputation was different from the way he presented himself to others. He was usually kind to others who spoke to him, he stood up for people who were too afraid to stand up for themselves, he never let things with girls get too far. He let them know ahead of time what they were signing up for.

He just stood there looking at you with confusion, “Can I help you?”

Now it was your turn to stand there and look absolutely dumbfounded. “Uh. I- I just. You know what I’m sorry. Forget this happened.” You were embarrassed. What the fuck was that? You were never one to feel shame but his gaze just did something to you. It made you feel like a fish out of water.

“No, what did you want to say?” His tone made him seem like he was genuinely interested in what you had to say to him. He walked closer so he could get a better look at you and hear what you had to say from a closer proximity.

The closer he got the more nervous he got. God, you were turning into those girls you made fun of. The girls who became putty in his hand after one glance. “I wanted to say you have a nice voice and you should consider trying out for choir.” It was a miracle that you managed to get all of that out without a hitch in your voice.

He seemed a little shock that you actually heard him. Being labeled a jock left him little room to try out in activities like choir. It didn’t fit his brand. That’s why he kept it a secret from everyone. It worried him that you knew because he didn’t you but it was apparent that you knew him. He replied with a small chuckle and the shake of his head.

“What’s so funny?” You were finding your voice again and you weren’t scared to show it.

“It’s just cute.”

Your eyes widened at his statement. “Cute?”

“You know, you thinking I’d try out for choir.” There it was, the asshole that he tried to keep covered with a curtain of niceness.

You folded your arms over your chest and raised an eyebrow, “Is someone a little scared of his jock friends finding out he can sing?” Your voice was belittling him and making him feel a little dumb.

He scoffed, “Look I don’t know who you are but just keep your mouth shut about this ok.”

You rolled your eyes and gave him a bow, “Yes my king.”

The pair of you separated after that and he had definitely left a bad impression on you. You thought that he could possibly be different from the stereotype but that was obviously untrue. Byun Baekhyun was just like every other jock at this school, an ass. As you were walking away your peripheral vision caught some junior looking at you then the spot where you and Baekhyun were talking. You just ignored her and continued on your way. But that would come back to bite you in the ass.

The next day at school you were exhausted and looked terrible. You didn’t bother with makeup or a decent outfit. To say the least you bummed it.

“You look gross,” Chungha commented.

“Gee thanks.” You sarcastically said.

Before you could even make it to your locker you were stopped by Baekhyun who just stood in front of you with a very stoic face. You could figure he was pissed off.

“I need to talk to you,” his voice harsh which was totally different from yesterday.

“Okay aft-”

“No. Now.” He grabbed your arm and practically dragged you into an empty room.

You kept telling him to let you go but he didn’t until you were both in the room and the door was locked. Yeah, you were a little scared but who wouldn’t be.

“What the hell Byun?!” The anger was bubbling under your skin. Who was he to think he could just grab you as he pleased like you were some object of his.

“I could say the exact same thing.” The confusion that painted your face said enough. “I told you not to tell anyone!” He said slamming his hand on a desk which made you flinch.

You felt wronged more than anything. “I didn-”

“Don’t fucking lie. It is everywhere, “Baekhyun is gonna join choir and become some geek” who else knew besides you?” He was intent on blaming you even when you had nothing to do with it.

But you stood your ground, “You really think I care enough to start some dumb ass rumor about you? Newsflash, not everything revolves around you. I don’t care what the fuck you do but don’t you ever accuse me of something I didn’t do.” You walked past him with daggers in your eyes directly aimed for him and him only.

When you got out the room Chungha and Jieun swarmed you with questions about what happened. Of course, you told them everything and they both shared the same feeling of disgust as you.

To say your whole day was shit was an understatement. You were being extra bitchy to people and you felt bad but it was just your way of taking out your anger. You then realized that lashing out on other people wasn’t right so when school ended you laced up your shoes and started your run around the track. The football team was on the field practicing but you didn’t pay any attention instead blasting your music and running several laps. Soon you felt the pent up anger and stress leave your system with every step you took. You were so caught up in what you were doing that you didn’t notice some bulk object running beside you. You glanced over at it and saw Baekhyun. Almost like it had a mind of its own, your feet stopped completely. You pulled out your earphones and looked at him with irritation.

“What did I do this time? Kill your dog?” You were obviously still pissed at him.

“I don’t have a dog,” He was trying to be funny but you were annoyed and a joke wasn’t gonna erase that.

“You really are a piece of work,” You scoffed before putting your earphones back in and continuing your run. But you could still see him following you from behind. You tried to ignore him and continue your run but he wasn’t letting up anytime soon. So you stopped again. “What do you want?” The annoyance oozing from your lips.

He was a little winded from the running, he hunched over trying his best to catch his breath.

You grew impatient and started to walk away but his hand clutched your wrist as an attempt to stop you. As if his touch was lava you remove yourself from his hold.

“I just wanted to apologize. I know you didn’t do it.”

You laughed at his apology, “Oh really? What made you come to that revelation? Was it the part where I told you I didn’t do it or when you realized I didn’t fucking do it?”

He looked at the floor feeling guilt for making you feel so mad. But in his defense, you were the only logical suspect. When he found out it was one of the girls he slept with that started the rumor he could only think about how bad he felt for doing what he did to you. “What would you have thought if you were me?”

“I would have thought logically and come to the conclusion that not everything is about me and not everyone cares enough to stoop so low. That’s what I would have thought Baekhyun.” You were done talking to him and you showed it by plugging your buds back in your ear and jogging away.

You thought that would be the end of it but from the distant, you could hear him yell, “I’m sorry!” He stopped following you so you just ignored it and finished your lap.

After running you head over to the choir room to try and get in some practice before going home. It was just you alone in the room because not many people willingly choose to say at school. You sat down on the piano bench and began to play an all too familiar melody. Naturally, you started to sing the song. As the lyrics flowed of your lips you got lost in the music which was normal for you. Then it came to an end and you heard clapping and whipped your head to the left where it was coming from. Baekhyun.

“Can you not take a hint or are you just that dense?” You said whilst collecting your music sheets.

It was like he didn’t hear a single word you said because he walked closer to you. “I just want to genuinely apologize and I want to know that you accept it.”

“Why is it so important to you that I accept your apology Baekhyun? I’m not your friend so it doesn’t matter if I hate you or not.” You were using logic at this point.

“But it matters to me. I don’t want you to hate me.” His voice got immensely quieter.

“Too late for that,” the bitch was jumping out.

“What can I do to make it up to you? I’ll do anything.”

You were so fucking confused on why it mattered to him so much. He was Byun Baekhyun and you were… well, you. He shouldn’t care if he hurts my feelings, he shouldn’t apologize. So why is he? But you thought about how you can use this to your benefit and you had an epiphany. This would be a great way to try out the duet you wrote. “Sing with me.”

His eyes grew, “Huh?”

“Sing with me. I’ve been working on this song, it’s a duet and you would be the perfect test monkey.” You pulled out your music sheets for the said song and set it up on the piano. You sat back down on the bench and patted the empty space beside you to signal Baekhyun to sit.

He let out an exasperated sigh and took his spot next to you. “I don’t even know the lyrics.”

“Just follow along,” you pointed at the sheets above the piano. Your fingers started playing the music that was on the sheet. Then Baekhyun began singing and you could physically feel your heart race like it was running a marathon. It was now your part. He seemed to have caught on quickly and even started playing on the other side of the piano making sure to keep the same rhythm.

Well, I don’t care even if you’re a sweet liar.

Well, I don’t care because I will make you believe.

And as if it was prohibited you both stopped singing and turn to face one another. Your hands managed to touch when it was on the keys. Staring into his brown orbs sent a wave of shock through your body. It felt as if you were in a maze and couldn’t find your way out.

“You made that?” He asked dumbfounded on how amazing it sounded.

You nodded, “I still need to finish it but I think it is getting somewhere.”

“You are really good you know that?” He complimented.

Why on earth were you blushing? His words shouldn’t have that effect on you. But here you were. “Thank you.” You checked the clock and saw it read at 2:30 pm. You had work at 3. You cursed under your breath and began packing up.

“So does that mean I am forgiven?” He looked up at you with hope in his eyes.

“You are forgiven but it doesn’t change how I feel about you.” You threw your bag over your shoulder and left him in the room alone.

That night you went home and fell on your bed face first. All you wanted to do was sleep but your mind was too preoccupied with Baekhyun and what happened in the choir room. It gave you the motivation to finish the song. It was like you wanted to prove something, not to yourself, but him.

School came again the next day and you were just as tired as before. You were running on a 2-hour nap because you stayed up till 3 AM working on the song. You were regretting it now. Jieun approached you with a cup of coffee in hand. Unsure if it was for you or not, you still snatched it and drank it.

“Hey that was mine,” she pouted.

You gave a small smile, “Sorry Ji I needed it more than you.”

“What time did you go to sleep?” She asked with a motherly tone.

“3” you softly spoke under your breath.

“What?”

“She said 3!” Chungha yelled out of nowhere.

You got startled and placed your hand over your now racing heart.

“Maybe if you went to sleep at an appropriate time you wouldn’t have to steal other peoples coffee.” Jieun scolded and Chungha nodded along with her.

“I’ll buy you one tomorrow,” you stuck out your pinky for her to grab onto. “I promise.”

She rolled her eyes and connected her pinky with yours and touched thumbs to seal the deal that was made.

“What were you doing that made you stay up till 3 in the morning?” Chungha asked as you guys began walking towards your lockers.

“Finishing a song.”

Jieun and Chungha shared a look, “Of course.” They said in unison.

The three of you had lockers next to each other. You were on the left, Chungha in the middle, and Jieun on the right.

You took your books out of your locker and put your book bag in. You closed your locker and was greeted with a smiling Baekhyun leaning on the locker beside you. You screeched in shock and dropped your book. “Jesus fucking christ Baekhyun!!!” You punched his arm in retaliation. His laugh hit your ears and you couldn’t believe he found this funny. You sent him a death glare and he shut up and bent down to grab your books.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you like that,” he said trying his best to repress the smile growing on his face.

You turned around to find your friends but they were nowhere to be found. “What is this time Byun?”

“Nothing just wanted to ask if you were gonna be in the choir room after school.”

It was confusing why he wanted to know that but you still answered him. “Yeah, I am. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” He hummed before walking away to his class to leave you in a confused state.

“You really are something Byun Baekhyun,” you whispered to yourself. You shook your head and smiled while heading to your first class.

You found your lost friends at lunch and approached them with a playfully angry face. “Thanks for leaving me this morning.”

“You seemed busy,” Chungha teased.

“Since when are you and Baekhyun buddies? Last time I checked you hated him, and that was yesterday.” Jieun said peeling a tangerine.

“We aren’t.”

“That’s not what it seemed like this morning,” Chungha said.

“He was just being dumb which is normal for him.” You didn’t really wanna talk about this topic anymore so you changed it to Chungha’s upcoming dance competition. They had no problem talking about it for the whole lunch period. You had one more class till school was over and you were nervous as the clock ticked closer to the end. It was nerve-wracking because you had no idea what Baekhyun was up to. The curiosity was eating you alive. But the time came when the bell rang.

You walked towards the choir room with a knot in your stomach. Of course, he wasn’t going to be there right after school, he had practice. So you made the executive decision to preoccupy your mind with music. Time flew by once again and you didn’t notice Baekhyun’s presence. His hair was wet like he just got out of the showers.

“You’re here,” he said with a small smiling growing on his lips.

“I said I’d be.” You said trying to remain cool, calm and collected.

Without permission, he sat beside you like he did yesterday. “Did you finish the song?”

You shook your head no and looked down at the keys. The feeling of disappointment flooded, but why? Why were you scared of letting him down when it came to this song?

“You mind if I help?” He asked hoping you would let him.

You shook your head and let him take your music sheets which was something you didn’t even let Jieun do.

“How about finishing it with harmonization with us both,” he suggested and you took it into consideration. “Something like… Dream when you look at me just like that I feel like you’re so mine. Dream that makes me want to fall asleep again - such a sweet dream. That’s you.”

You couldn’t avoid eye contact while looking at him. Something about him kept you drawn to him like a magnet. “I like it.”

“Really?” He asked feeling proud of himself and happy you seemed to approve of it.

You nodded and without notice started playing the notes for the song. Naturally, you both fell into your own world that only consisted of you, him, and music. By the end of the song, you found yourselves closer than you started. His face was in front of yours and you felt this urge to connect your lips just to see what it would be like. Just as you were about to your alarm went off letting you know you had to go. You quickly broke away from him and got up. “I have to go but thanks for helping with the song. I appreciate it.”

“Wait before you go I need your number.”

You raised a brow, “Why?”

“Because I like doing this with you and I want to do it more. And instead of me popping up on you all the time it would be easier to just text you.”

You contemplated it and you liked how useful he was in a music sense so you gave in and gave it to him. The smugness never left his face even after you left. He made you regret giving him your number because he practically spammed your phone with dumb useless texts. To the point where you had to mute him. When you got home you replied to him.

You (9:50): Why are you blowing up my phone?

Byun Baekhyun (9:51): Where were you? :(

You (9:51): Work.

Byun Baekhyun (9:52): Do you think you can help me write my own song tomorrow?

It was surprising that he actually showed an interest in songwriting. You thought he was just being nice at first but it seems as though he really found a passion for it.

You (9:55): Meet me in the choir room after school.

Byun Baekhyun (9:55): I’ll be there.

Days passed and soon you and Baekhyun had been meeting up for nearly a month. The texts between you were constant. Most of the time they were just Baekhyun being a flirt. It was back and forth sometimes. Your times after school were either working on Baekhyun’s song or fixing your duet. Today he decided to walk you to your car, it was windy out and your hair kept getting in your face. He helped you in your car and you rolled down your window to talk to him before you left. His arms were perched on the sill as he looked at you with sparkling brown eyes. The wind once again managed to push hair in your face but Baekhyun pushed it behind your ear gently. Even after he was done he didn’t move his hand. “Go out with me.”

The question threw you for a loop. You didn’t know if you were daydreaming. Did he really just ask you out? “What?”

“Go out with me. On a date. We can do the whole thing where I pick you up and tell your parents I’ll have you home by 10 and we go out, eat, talk about everything. Doesn’t it sound fun?” His hand still on your cheek.

You let out a chuckle, “You don’t date.”

“That's true but that was also before you.” His words came out as sweet as honey as he removed his hand.

“And what makes me different from other girls Byun?” You knew what made you different but you wanted to see if he knew.

“Come on a date with me and I'll tell you.” He quipped.

You were hesitant but his intentions seemed pure and genuine. “Fine. We will do the whole cheesy romantic thing.”

His smile brought out the softness in him. “I'll pick you up at 6.” He winked before walking back into the school.

The whole drive home was just you thinking of what you would wear. You wanted to look nice but not nice to the point where Baekhyun thinks you were trying to impress him. It was currently 3 and you didn't have work today so you had 3 hours to get your shit together. You took a shower and shaved your legs first and foremost. Then you moved onto your makeup. Lately, you've been watching makeup tutorials and you thought you developed a talent but you were wrong. you had to restart your eyes like 5 times. But eventually, you got it to a decent and cute point. You had another hour before Baekhyun would pick you up, enough time for hair and clothes. You decided to go for a half up half down moment and curl the ends. Deciding what to wear was the hardest task for you. You opted for a cute plain white tee and a cute pleated skirt because of the impending summer weather. After all, you shaved your legs so might as well flaunt them. Your timing was perfect because by the time you did your touch up you heard the doorbell rang. You went with some simple black heeled boots that went up to your ankle. You threw them on and opened the door to see Baekhyun decked out in a white hoodie with a jean jacket for an overcoat and washed out jeans. His soft brown hair was simple and managed to keep a wavy texture. It's amazing how he could dress in something so ordinary and still look like he walked off the runway. He beat you to the punch of complimenting.

“You look pretty,” He said with a cute blush.

“I could say the same for you.” You smiled. “I guess we unintentionally matched.”

“If this isn't a sign then I don't know what is.” He chuckled.

You playfully rolled your eyes. “So where are we going?”

“Well, I was thinking we could eat dinner at this new restaurant that opened up. Then see where that leads us.” He opened the door for you like a gentleman.

You both buckled up and Baekhyun started the car. He was driving towards a pretty nice part of town. He pulled into a restaurant that was pretty bare. Not many people were there which was nice for you because it would suck having to talk over others the whole night. But even if no one was there it was fancy enough to need reservations which Baekhyun made ahead of time.

“Table for two?” The hostess asked, to which Baekhyun nodded. “Ok right this way.” She led you to your table and Baekhyun walked ahead to pull a chair out for you. You thanked him for his kind gesture. “Here is the menu. Your waiter should be with you shortly,” both of you thanked her before she left to take care of more customers.

“I heard the chef is world class.” You commented after seeing the name Do Kyungsoo on the menu under the chef’s special. You remembered reading some article about how much he has accomplished for himself at such a young age.

“Well, then I guess we have to get the chef’s special.”

“It’s only right,” you played along.

But when the waiter came to get your order Baekhyun had ordered the specials. You weren’t bitter because you were looking forward to practically anything on the menu.

Baekhyun took this time to try and get to know you better. Although you guys hung out every day after school for a month he still felt there was more to you then what meets the eye. So you guys talked and talked. Talked about how you broke your wrist when you were 7 because you tried to backflip off the monkey bars. Talked about how he stole his class pet on accident. You told him things that you have only ever told two other people in your life and it was scary. Why were you telling him everything so quickly? It was like it was second nature to you. Then you guys hit the topic of music while you were sharing a chocolate cake for dessert.

“I think I’ve always had an interest for singing but I didn’t have people around me to encourage it.” He paused to look at you. “Until I met you.”

You shook your head modestly with a piece of cake in your mouth, “I merely let you know that you were talented and had potential.”

“Yeah, no one has ever said that to me besides football scouts. My parents are very busy people and never really had time for me. The only time my dad acknowledged me was when I had a football in my hand.”

It’s like you could physically feel your heartache. You were fortunate enough to grow up with parents who supported you in everything you did. Even though Baekhyun had an envied lifestyle to most what went on behind closed doors was heartbreaking. You reached across to hold his hand in yours. His eyes found yours and your gaze held. “You have more value than you think.”

With his eyes still fixated on you, he gave a cheeky smile. “When it's coming from you I believe it.”

Dinner came to a close and you offered to split the check with him but he refused and paid for it in full. You were the kind of person who didn’t like when people paid for you. It made you feel dirty, maybe it was just the way you were raised. So to set things equal you offered to pay for games at the arcade. Baekhyun didn’t seem to mind it. The arcade wasn’t a far walk from where you had dinner so you decided to just walk. It was a bit chilly outside due to the fact that it was early March and you were in a skirt. A shiver ran over you which was picked up on by Baekhyun. He took off his overcoat and put it on you. You gave him a small thank you and held the jacket close. It smelled like strawberries a familiar scent of Baekhyun’s. His hand had grazed yours more often than not and eventually, he took your hand in his and laced his fingers through your own. The gesture was a little surprising but it gave you some added comfort and warmth you didn’t know you needed. The walk was quiet and when you arrived at the arcade you got $20 worth of coins to use between the both of you. Baekhyun was instantly drawn towards the shooting games and you weren’t the least bit shocked since you were aware of his love for PUBG. You agreed to play against him even if you lacked the skills but why not try and give him a run for his money. As expected he beat you and even though you knew he would you still gave a small pout.

“How about basketball?” Baekhyun suggested.

“I suck but I guess we could try it.” You said being a good sport.

You lied, you were amazing at arcade basketball. After losing to your dad for 17 years you got tired and decided to dedicate yourself to get good and you did. You just wanted to play around with Baekhyun and see how big his ego could get. When you won him 78-56 it was his turn to pout.

“You hustled me,” he said upset from his loss.

“I wouldn’t call it hustling. I just told a white lie,” You gave a smug grin with your reply feeling amazing from your win.

Both of you played more games and went back and forth beating each other. You always found a way to redeem yourself after a loss. Eventually, you guys ran out of coins and had to go. You left the arcade the way you came in, hand in hand.

“How the hell are you so good at air hockey?” Baekhyun asked feeling the defeat.

“My dad never let me win so I had to get good.” You shrugged. “What about you? There is no way you can be THAT good at Mario Kart.”

“Me, Chanyeol, and Sehun play it almost every time they come over.”

In the period of time that you guys were walking to the car, you got closer to him. Close to the point where you could rest your head on his broad shoulder. The ride home was peaceful and the music in the back was white noise. But he sang along to a song that came on the radio and his voice was enough to make the smile stayed glued to your face. Your hands still stayed attached even while he was driving. He would turn to you to sing at certain parts which made you blush like a dork. But he only found it cute. You were disappointed when you saw your house in sight. It meant the night was over. Being the gentleman he was, he walked you to your door.

“I really enjoyed tonight.” You hummed in honesty.

“I did too. I hope we can do it again.”

“I’d like that,” you nodded. A big part of you hoped he would kiss you before he left. It felt like a perfect ending to a perfect night. As if he was reading your thoughts he leaned in to connect his lips to yours. It was like you thought, his lips soft and pillowy with enough power to send a shock through your body. The kiss deepened before you both instinctually pulled away when the door opened. You separated from each other when you saw your dad standing in the doorway. Feeling ashamed the two of you looked down, avoiding eye contact with your dad at all costs.

“You must be Baekhyun,” his low voice rumbled making Baekhyun even more nervous.

Your date looked up with an awkward smile on his face, “Yes I am sir.” He was being so formal. He stuck his hand out for a handshake from your father to which he accepted.

“I hope you treated my daughter well. I’m happy you had her home when you promised.” His grip on Baekhyun not letting up. “In the future, I hope you keep it up.”

Baekhyun nodded rapidly in response and tried to pull his hand away. You noticed his hand being squeezed and put a stop to it. “Dad Baekhyun was just leaving.”

Your dad let go and Baekhyun immediately took his sore hand and tried to shake the pain off. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

You waved goodbye and stepped into the house before your dad closed the door. As soon as it closed you looked at him with a serious glare.

“I think he likes me,” your dad joked.

You groaned and stomped upstairs. You were too preoccupied with the whole debacle downstairs that you forgot to give Baekhyun his jacket. You shrugged and decided to give it back on Monday. After removing all your makeup and settling down in comfortable closed you laid in bed just thinking about everything that happened tonight. If someone had told you that you would be going on date with Byun Baekhyun you would have laughed in their face. The Baekhyun you met was different from the Baekhyun you saw tonight. You noticed a light change over the time you have been with him. He was more open and optimistic about things. At one point in your after-school rendezvous, you considered him a friend. Then you thought about everything he told you tonight and how vulnerable he made himself, just for you. You didn’t want to get your hopes up but you could see this going somewhere and you did not mind it one bit.

The dates became more frequent and less extravagant. Baekhyun knew you weren’t the kind of girl who was about the glitz and glam. It was a change of pace from the girls he was with before you. You were the kind of girl who took pleasure in the simple things in life. You liked going to the park and just relaxing on a blanket while you guys talked. You liked going on those duck boats where you could just laugh and enjoy. You liked car rides where you both could sing along to the radio. To put it in simple terms, you liked being with Baekhyun. Wherever he was you were smiling and having a good time. There was one date that stuck out from the others. It was your 10th date, you guys had just got back from a very fun time at the roller rink. Up until this point Baekhyun had never tried to make a move on you. He wanted you to know that he wasn’t into you for those reasons. You appreciated that he always prioritized your comfort. The night was still young and he invited you into his house. It wasn’t the first time you’ve been there. Both of you sat and talked about the events of the night and how you kept falling down. He seemed to get a kick out of it. His parents weren’t there and it wasn’t surprising. Baekhyun practically lived alone and it saddened you a bit. Baekhyun was still mocking you about your hard time at the rink and you pouted. He apologized and gave you a peck to make it better. You still pouted wanting to get more kisses from him. He fell for it and somehow you ended up on his lap with your tongue battling his for dominance. His hands had a firm grip on your waist while your hands were tangled in his hair. Unexpectedly you grind your hips down on his which emitted a moan from his lips. You pulled away with bruised lips.

“You’re playing a dangerous game here baby,” his voice low and rough which only worked in sending a tingle through you.

You smirked knowing exactly what you were doing. You moved your lips to the shell of his ear. “And what do I get if I win the game?”

“What do you want?” Baekhyun asked with a raised brow.

You gave him a look of seduction, “You.”

“Then let the games begin.”

It was unclear what the game was exactly but that didn’t stop you. You got off his lap to instead get on your knees between his legs. His bulge was apparent to you and you bit your lip in excitement. Your fingers worked on undoing his button and zipper but before your hands could pull down his pants to free his member his hand stopped you.

You looked up in confusion.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” This was a first, Baekhyun normally didn’t care about how things unfolded between him and his other partners but with you, he needed to know that you wanted this as much as he did.

“I’m sure,” you said with a brief nod before going back to what you were doing beforehand.

This wasn’t your first rodeo. You had experience but Baekhyun had more. It intimidated you. What if you weren’t as good as others? What if you couldn’t please him? But you put your worries aside and decided to give it your best. Both his pants and underwear were off and it left his erect cock out in the open. You now knew why girls kept coming back. Your hand gripped his length and began pumping it his precum spreading around the tip. Baekhyun let out a string of moans as you worked your hand up and down. You decided to take it up a notch and wrap your lips around it. That was the key you needed to unlock the Baekhyun you wanted to see tonight. He moved your hair from your face as you took him in deeper and deeper to the point where you could feel him in the back of your throat.

“You look so beautiful with my cock in your mouth.” He provoked you to continue. Your hand and mouth worked together to bring him to the edge. “Fuck baby I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.” That’s when you pulled away.

You wiped the sides of your mouth, “If you are cumming anywhere it’s inside me.”

That flipped a switch, he pulled you up and quickly brought his lips to meet yours. “I need you now.” Desperation oozing.

“Then take me.”

That was all he needed to lift you up and bring you up to his room. You squealed at the sudden action but you were ready for what was to come. Literally. You were still fully clothed but Baekhyun changed that real quick. He discarded every piece of clothing you had on leaving you bare in front of him. Normally you’d feel embarrassed but Baekhyun made you feel beautiful in your own skin. He followed after and removed his clothes as well. It was dark and the only source of light you got came from the beaming moon. Baekhyun was working on making a hickey museum on your neck. His lips trailed down your body further and further till it got to your dripping core. Normally you would have loved for him to ravish you with his lips but the only thing you wanted right now was his dick. Before he could swipe his tongue over your folds you pulled him up.

“I just want you tonight,” you said looking into the eyes you began to adore as time went on.

He reached over to his nightstand and pulled out a condom. You were on the pill but it was nice to know that he was safe. A little extra precaution wouldn’t hurt. His lips found yours again and he passionately kissed you before he slowly pushed himself into your entrance. The stretch was sensational, he fits you perfectly. His thrusts were slow which Baekhyun wasn’t used to. He was more of a fast paced, hard, and dirty kind of man. But this time he wanted to savor every moment with you. He wanted to make it pleasurable for both of you. His name never sounded as beautiful than it did now when you were saying it. He picked up the pace a little which drove you crazier. You didn’t need to say it for him to know you were close. His hand reached between your bodies and began to rub your clit to give you what you needed to bring you to that state of euphoria. After a couple more thrusts you were coming done around him, your breathing ragged as you whispered his name. Baekhyun wasn’t finished yet but you knew what he needed. His erection kept going as your pussy clenched around it. He didn’t last long after that. He unloaded himself in the condom and finished with kisses between your breasts and face. The room was filled with heavy breathing and the smell of sex. He pulled out and rolled over to lay beside you. He took off the condom and threw it in the trash by his bed.

You and your body were exhausted. You turned over on your side to face Baekhyun. He still managed to look breathtaking. He was tired as well. You didn’t want to make him drive you home and quite frankly you didn’t want to leave either. It was a good thing your parents were out of town for their anniversary. The timing was amazing. Baekhyun was struggling with staying up. His eyes kept drifting in and out of consciousness. Meanwhile, you just laid there admiring him and how adorable he looked. His shaggy hair blocked his eyes slightly so you gently moved it. Being this close you could see all his moles that marked his beautiful face. You traced them like it was some game of connecting the dots. He must have been asleep because he made no complaint. This sight was something you treasure. You felt like you could fall asleep like this every day. This is what falling felt like. It felt like the world was just the two of you. You had fallen and you didn’t want to get up.

“I love you.” You whispered to yourself even though it was meant for him.

Just as you were about to follow after him and sleep you heard his soft voice. “I love you too.”

[byunskjm-blog]

Changes (VI)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, CEO! AU, Idol! AU

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader x Baekhyun

Length: 3.6k

Changes Masterlist

The next morning you woke up expecting Baekhyun to be gone and for this all to be some dream, but reality was different. There he was, sleeping like a prince, so beautiful, so ethereal. All his features seemed enhanced from close up. The cute moles the adorned his face, the way his pink lips parted slightly while he slept, his fluffy black hair scattered over his forehead. Your fingers traced over his soft features, making sure to not wake him up in the process. You brushed the hair of his face to get a better look at him, then you traveled down to his right temple where his most noticeable beauty mark laid, and you finally got to his baby soft cheeks where another mark was placed. How could a man this beautiful exist and be in bed next to you? It was mystery. You looked at the time and it was only 6 am, the shoot didn’t start till 10 am today which gave you about 4 hours of bliss before you had to face the outside world. 

Carefully, you got out of bed and put on a clean pair of panties and put on Baekhyun’s sweater. You were happy to know that the sweater never lost its warmth. Softly you made your way to the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast for the pair of you. Sehun must’ve been out as well because there was no trace of him. You opened the fridge and was a little disappointed, you needed to go shopping soon. You still had enough food to make a decent breakfast. The menu was eggs and french toast. You quickly got to work and started cooking. You were humming like a bird whilst cooking and that might have been what woke Baekhyun. 

With a smile on his face he walked over to you to plant a wet kiss on your cheek. “Good morning beautiful.” Even his voice in the morning was beautiful. 

“How’d you sleep?” You asked before flipping over a piece of bread. 

“Better with you around.” He was a cheeky son of bitch but you liked it, you liked the cliches. As if you were trapped in a cheesy rom-com, he snuck up behind you and snaked his arms around your waist. His head was buried in the crook of your neck, it tickled a little when he would breathe and it hit your skin but you just continued with what you were doing. 

“Don’t forget the shoot is at 10 which means you have to go home and change by then.” It sucked that you had to but a damper on the mood but you had to remind yourself that you were also his manager and his work comes before anything. 

He mumbled a soft reply before removing himself from you and pouring a cup of coffee. “Have you checked your phone yet?” He asked in between sips. 

You shook your head, “I’m too scared to look.” He gave you a look, a look that had your heart ready to burst at the seams. 

“Like you said, they wouldn’t be lying. There is nothing to be scared of.” It was easy for him to say that because he wasn’t the one on who had to be on the receiving end of death threats and endless hates. He also didn’t have to worry about whether or not he would be fired. 

“Baekhyun your fans are pretty… uh… aggressive to say the least.” You turned off the stove when you finished the last piece of toast. “You saw what they did to that poor girl who played your love interest in that drama, and she is famous and has a following of her own. Imagine what they’ll do to someone like me.” The nerves were setting in once you started to think about the repercussions of this. 

“They won’t do anything. I’ll make sure of it.” His hands fell onto yours and took it into his warmth. 

“You can’t say things like this Baek. You can’t make empty promises.” The last thing you wanted was another relationship founded on lies. 

“Who says they’ll be empty?” He lifted your chin to meet his eyes. “Once they find out how good you are to me, how well you look after me, and how happy you make me, they’ll love you.” When you looked into his eyes you saw nothing but genuinity. Something about those brown eyes just told you to believe him and to trust him. 

“Come on lets eat.” You said putting the conversation to rest and moving on. 

During the whole time eating Baekhyun complimented your cooking nonstop. You thought he was just trying to flatter you because this was like a 6 on your capability scale. But nonetheless you took his kind words and smiled. 

The time for you guys to leave came sooner rather than later. You both freshened up, unlike Baekhyun you put on new clothes. He would be stuck with his clothes till he got back to the dorms. Sehun still hadn’t been home but you that was last thing on your mind. Your phone still went unchecked, you haven’t opened pandora’s box. Once you did there was no turning back. You would see the most horrendous comments about you online and have everyone on the face of the earth looking at you, giving you unwanted attention. But you couldn’t back out now, you already told Baekhyun that you would face this together. 

Both of you walked out of your apartment building hand in hand, with face masks incase any fans or photographers were there. He lead you to his car and drove to the dorms. Xiumin and Chen found it suspicious that Baekhyun was gone all night and when he finally showed up it was with you. They must not have checked their phones either. None of them had social media so it would take more time for the news to hit them than others. 

On the drive Baekhyun’s hand never left yours even while you read the headlines of allkpop, soompi, and many more sites. “Ooo this is my favorite one: CBX star, Byun Baekhyun caught on scandalous rendezvous with alleged girlfriend!” Both of you laughed at the word choice of the article. “At least I wasn’t referred to as a mistress this time around.” 

All these articles came attached with multiple photos of you and Baekhyun, almost always touching or holding hands. But none of them got a clear view picture of you. It was blurred or your hair was covering your face. You were thankful because that meant you had more time to prepare for the storm. “I think we should till Minseok and Dae first and foremost. If something were to happen they would be affected as well.” You nodded at his words and felt proud that he was making responsible choices. 

Unlike your place, Baekhyun’s was being bombarded by reporters. They were all gathered around the gate and when they saw his car pulling in they quickly swarmed the car. Baekhyun was careful not to hurt anyone whilst pulling into the driveway. Keeping your head down and following his orders, you waited for Baekhyun to get out first and for him to come around to get you. He opened the door and reached his hand out for yours. He kept you behind him while walking to the door so that you wouldn’t have to face the rowdiness of the crowd. All you heard was, “Baekhyun who is she?” “How long have you guys been together?” “Is she pregnant?” 

Thankfully you made it in the house in one piece only to be rushed by Xiumin and Chen with questions of their own. They found out. Like agreed upon, you and Baekhyun came clean and confessed. They were shocked but not surprised. They had their reservations mainly in fear for you. The had the same worries as you did, the fear of the fans reaction to all this. 

“CEO Kim won’t be happy about this.” You totally forgot about him. There was no doubt that once he found out that you would be out of a job. It was only a matter of time before he called you both to his office. 

Not wanting to dwell on it, you told the boys to start getting ready to go. Baekhyun went up to his room to change and the other two followed after. 

What the hell did you get yourself into? You literally got out of a work relationship just to land yourself right back in the same situation. But the difference between this one and the last is that Baekhyun wasn’t Junmyeon, and you knew his feelings were real and there. With Baekhyun you could truly trust him unconditionally. After Junmyeon you thought that was it for you. You believed that he was the best it got for you. That was before Baekhyun pulled you out of the rain. He saved you from yourself. If it were anyone else you probably wouldn’t have taken such a big leap so fast. But this wasn’t just anyone, this was Baekhyun, your Baekhyun. 

You knew they were done when you heard all three of them screaming as they came down the stairs. Xiumin said he and Chen would drive to the set and you and Baek will follow suit. The reporters were still there when you left. Lights flashing as their cameras took pictures. 

Today’s shoot was different in a way that Baekhyun wasn’t being draped with girls. His eyes and affection were reserved just for you. Between shoots he would sneak away with you and give you soft kisses. “Baekhyun i’m working.” You said leaned up against the back of trailer. 

His hands were placed on either side of your head. “Yeah for me and as my manager you need to attend to my well being and oddly enough you are exactly what I need.” He leaned in for another kiss but you stuck out your hand and stopped him before he could get further. 

“I don’t just work for you, Chen and Xiu are my priority too.” He pouted the most adorable pout in the world. 

“Are you saying i’m not first?” He was playing hurt. 

You tiptoed to give him a smooch on the cheek, “Of course you’re first. But at work I can’t play favorites.” 

He smiled because he knew he was being a pain in the ass. “As long as i’m your favorite anywhere else then that’s all that matters.” 

You wanted to pinch his big cheeks for so many reasons but instead you just told him to get back to set before the director gets mad. Huffing and puffing he walked back, dragging his feet. It was cute seeing him be so clingy and attached. With Junmyeon you always had to catered to his schedule and his needs. But Baekhyun was there 24/7 which made you feel at ease. 

After another couple hours or so, the mv was finally wrapped and the boys were free to go. They suggested a celebration but the boys had to be in the studio bright and early tomorrow. You all left the same way you came, you with Baekhyun and Xiumin with Chen. 

Car rides with Baekhyun may have been one of your favorite things ever. He never failed to keep a smile on your face. Always singing cute, silly, love songs whilst holding your hand. This time his song of choice was Lost In Japan by Shawn Mendes. He performed as if he was in front a million of his fans, but in reality he was just singing for his number one fan. The song ended just as Baekhyun pulled up to your place. “You know I won’t sleep well tonight.” 

You were still in the car, his hand still joint with yours. “And why is that?” You asked with a raised brow. 

“Because you aren’t there.” There he goes again with his cheesiness. 

“I think you’ll do just fine Baekhyun. You’ve managed to sleep over 20 years without me. One night won’t kill you.” His infamous pout came out and you knew you should have just taken his cute words and ran with it. “But i’ll miss you too.” You added trying to make it better. 

“So why can’t I spend the night again?” Optimism gleamed in his eyes. 

“Space is good in a relationship Baek. If we are attached at the hip 24/7, we’ll eventually grow tired of each other.” 

He scoffed, “Me? Getting tired of you? Never.” He said in a matter of factly tone. 

You chuckled at his comment, “That’s what you say now.” 

Out of nowhere he grabbed your face in his warm hands and squished your cheeks. “Look at this face. I could stare at it for days on end and never get tired of it.” 

You copied his actions as well. “Ugh why do you have to be so damn cute?! How can I ever leave you now?” He was batting his lashes like a cute, innocent puppy. “Fine you can stay the night.” He was about to yell in joy but you cut him off. “BUT! No funny business. We both have to get up early tomorrow, and since we have to go back to the dorms for you to get ready that means early than planned.” He saluted you as if he was a private and you a captain. “What am I gonna do with you?” 

The following day was a bit more difficult than the day before, mainly because Sehun was there and you knew you had some explaining to do. To say you were caught in a compromising position was an understatement. Sehun had busted into your room to see you and Baekhyun cuddled up, sleeping soundly. Being the weirdo he was, he didn’t just leave you and Baekhyun be. No, he sat at the edge of your bed and just watched the pair of you snore away. 

Baekhyun woke up first and was the one who saw Sehun just creepily staring. He let out a shriek which in turn woke you up in a worry. You looked toward what caused the scream to erupt from Baekhyun and saw Sehun batting his eyes with a smile of innocence. “Sehun what the fuck?!” You yelled throwing a pillow aimed for his head. 

“Oh don’t let my presence stop you two love birds.” 

“Wait you know him?” Both of you were trying to calm your heart rates. 

“Yeah, he is my roommate and the biggest pain in my ass.” 

He rolled his eyes at your harsh comments. “You love me.” He sent a flying smooch your way, only for you to flip him off. With his hand clutched on his heart, he pretended to be deeply affected by your actions. Finally he got off your bed and walked to the door, “Come on, i’m cooking. You can tell me about this,” he said signalling between you and the other person in your bed. 

The red on your cheeks spread and you were embarrassed to be caught in such a compromising position. When Sehun finally left the room you buried your head in Baekhyun’s chest out of pure shame. Both of you just laughed at the predicament at hand. 

A few minutes later both of you left the room to go outside where Sehun was. He had three plates already scattered with food on it. “Ah Sehunnie.” A satisfied a sigh left your lips as you looked at all the food. You turned to see Baekhyun pouting. “What’s wrong?” 

His droopy eyes found yours. “You don’t have a cute nickname for me.” He was bitter over your cheesy nickname for Sehun, it was cute. 

You wrapped your arms around his middle and pouted as well, looking up at him, since he was taller than you. “You’re my Baekhyunnie.” 

Immediately his smile lit up like a Christmas tree. He grabbed both sides of your face and squished them together, before bending a bit to give you an eskimo kiss. 

“You both are ruining my appetite.” You heard Sehun from behind you. Both of you finally detached from one another, only to find yourselves sitting side by side. “Wait, i’ve seen you somewhere.” Sehun said pointing his fork at Baekhyun with narrowed eyes. 

“Yeah probably all over Seoul. He is in CBX.” You responded to your best friends cluelessness. 

“Ahhhhh that’s him!” Then it hit him. “Wait?! How did you?! What?!” You and Baekhyun just laughed at his reaction. 

“Don’t ask me because I don’t even know how it happened.” You said before stuffing a strawberry in your mouth. 

“Let’s just say that I can be very persuasive when I want to.” 

Sehun applauded him, “I gotta give it to you man. I really thought she would be stuck on that douchebag forever.” Then the room went silent and awkwardness lingered on. Everyone knew who Sehun was talking about and that’s what made you so uncomfortable. 

Deciding to get the spotlight off you, you switched the subject to something Sehun loved talking about, himself. “So where have you been these past couple days?” Suddenly Sehun had so much to say and talk about. He went on and on about his time in Germany and how he met a cute girl there. It was no surprise to you that you would somehow land on the topic of his love life. But he kept that part of the story brief with not much detail. 

Like he always does after a trip abroad, he brought back a gift for you. This time it was a picture he took of the Berlin Wall. Sehun’s story time lasted throughout breakfast, when you and Baekhyun finished eating you thanked Sehun before leaving to get ready for work today. As planned the night before, you had to leave earlier than usual in order for Baekhyun to freshen up. Even if Baekhyun was older than Sehun, he still was respectful towards him and thanked him for the breakfast once again. 

Unlike the last time you and Baekhyun left together, there was a coup of photographers outside just waiting for you and Baekhyun to come out and expose yourself to the world. It was Baekhyun who suggested you just follow him and keep your head down. He even went as far as to give you his facemask because protecting your identity was more important than protecting his own. Like many times before you both walked out with hands intertwined and faces looking downward. Baekhyun pushed through the crowd, making sure to not let go of you until you reached the car. The loud noises never stopped even when you were in the safety of Baekhyun’s car. 

He looked over toward you, concern adorning his brown eyes. “Are you ok?” You nodded in response before taking his hand in yours once more. You knew it would help settle his nerves. 

Not much was said on the drive to the dorms. This was the first time Baekhyun didn’t break up the silence and it concerned you a bit. It seemed that the crowd in front of the boys’ house only got worse. This time there were angry fans holding posters calling you horrible names. Baekhyun tried his best to shield you from it but it was no use, you already saw it and there was no unseeing it. When you made it into the house you could finally breathe. You felt sorry for Chen and Xiu for causing such a hectic scene. Finding them a new house will definitely be on your to do list today. Now that you thought of it, today would be utter hell. Not only did you have to start working on finding a new house for them but you would have to face Junmyeon today. This past week has been successful in avoiding him but you knew him well enough to know that he would call you and Baekhyun to his office as soon as you stepped foot into the building. 

Trying to take your mind off things Xiumin started a very intense conversation on whether or not water is wet. The two boys went back and forth arguing their points and you just sat back and let it all happen. The laughs that you let out were genuine. They always had a way to make light out of a situation. 

Sooner rather than later, Baekhyun made his way down in a new outfit and wet hair. You don’t know if it was the inner girlfriend in you but you got up and made your way towards him and snatched the towel from his hands to dry his hair yourself. “You’re gonna catch a cold if you don’t do it good.” It was amusing to ruffle his hair with the towel. He didn’t protest or try to argue against it, he just let you take care of him. 

For a second you forgot the other two were in the same room as you guys. When you turned your head you saw their faces looking at the pair of you with a face that was quite similar to Sehun’s this morning when he saw you guys being too touchy. Your manager side kicked in and you told them to get their stuff and go out to the car already. You figured one car would suffice today. 

Before you could leave Baekhyun to put away the towel, he pulled you into a soul sucking kiss. On instinct you kissed back but pulled away before it deepened. “If I didn’t say it today, good morning.”

[byunskjm-blog]

Changes (V)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, CEO! AU, Idol! AU

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader x Baekhyun

Length: 3.7k

Changes Masterlist

If you thought you could get some sleep that night you were dead wrong. You were up to the crack of dawn thinking of that kiss and everything Baekhyun had told you.

Did he really feel this way about you or was it just a trick? But Baekhyun wasn’t like that. He was very passionate about his feelings and it was prevalent. You had to ask yourself these same questions as well. Did your heart crave Baekhyun or was this some kind of coping mechanism your mind activated after Suho left. In so many ways Baekhyun was different from Junmyeon, hell the only thing connecting them is SM and you. Why did life have to be such a fucking bitch?

Your alarm clock blared and you knew it was time to put on your best smile and pretend like you and Baekhyun didn’t kiss.

You heard Sehun come in at about 2 am last night. You didn’t have the energy to talk about his conquest of the night. That’s why when he popped in last night, you pretended to be out like a light.

You started your day with a shower and because today was just going to be MV shooting you opted for simple black leggings with a hoodie. You were quiet when you left because you didn’t want to wake Sehun.

The drive to the shoot was full of dread. You would have to face Baekhyun and act like nothing happened between you two. The atmosphere would be awkward which is the last thing you wanted. When you got there the mood was light, you heard Chen’s loud laugh and naturally assumed Baekhyun was the cause of their laughter. Xiumin saw you first and called you over to the three of them. Inevitably Baekhyun’s eyes landed on you and you felt goosebumps graze your skin. The effects he had on you was scary, how could a glance send your body into a frenzy?

They were in the middle of getting their makeup done, all of them in their outfits which looked good enough to be in a Gucci fashion show. The concept of this comeback was royalty, something their fans have been begging for since before they could remember. The director called them when they were done getting ready and you just stood off to the side to observe and be there when they needed you. You just wanted this day to go by smoothly so you can get home and wallow in your self-pity.

They did there individual shoots and their group scenes. One scene, in particular, seemed to annoy you, Baekhyun was filming a part with a girl who looked like she just walked off the runway of Milan. Their chemistry was blatantly obvious. There was no doubt that she was flirting with him, the obsessive amount of skinship they were displaying made your stomach hurt. It wasn’t like Baekhyun was stopping her either if anything he was egging her on to continue. When she would lean into him while laughing he only made it worse by whispering something in her ear that would bring her closer to him. You were upset, to say the least. Not because you were jealous but because not even 24 hours ago he was confessing to you and now he totally forgot about your existence.

You excused yourself for some air, not being able to see them grope each other any longer. Of all people, Baekhyun was the one to notice your discomfort and you only solidified it when you left.

Baekhyun was wrapped with filming for the day so he followed you out to see what was the problem. “Hey, you ok?”

The fact that he had the audacity to ask you that amazed you. “Yeah, perfect,” you responded with a tight-lipped smile.

“Doesn’t seem that way to me,” Baekhyun countered.

“Then why ask in the first place?” The venom in your words had the strength to knock out a python.

“Because I care.”

The light chuckle that left your lips couldn’t be stopped, it was out there and there was no taking it back, much like his confession to you.

“You honestly think I don’t care? Especially after last night?” So he did remember.

“Wow, I’m surprised you actually remember that. Considering the fact that you seemed to have more pressing matters on your mind,” and by that, you meant the tall, brunette who practically threw herself at Baekhyun.

“Oh my g- are you- are you jealous?” His mouth grew wide as if this was the most amusing thing of his life.

You sneered at his remark, “Me being jealous would require me actually caring.” That was a slap in the face to both of you.

“How long are you gonna uphold this facade?” His arms crossed in front of his chest of his eyebrows rose.

Like the teenager you felt like at the moment, you rolled your eyes, “Not everyone is outspoken like you Baekhyun. Some people need time to actually process what they feel before diving head first,” you laid off him and lightened your tone.

“And I understand that I told you I’d wait. I wasn’t lying about that. Whatever you saw in there was nothing more than harmless flirting.”

You rose a finger and pointed it at him, “Aha! So you do admit to flirting with her.” Why were you trying so hard to prove him wrong? What would you honestly gain out of it?

“I never said I wasn’t. I was just trying to make you jealous to see if you even remotely feel the same way about me and I would say by my observations that you do.” A smirk adorned his lips and you wanted nothing more than to wipe it off.

“Aish, you bastard!” You raised your hand as if you were going to hit him and he flinched in response.

“Yah! You would do the same in my shoes.” He was right about that. If you were in his place you would want some kind of confirmation that this isn’t some hopeless one-sided crush.

Your anger subsided and you just became annoyed with him and began giving him the silent treatment as if you guys were in kindergarten all over again. “You are being very mature about this I see.”

You just grunted and moved to go back into the venue where Xiumin was wrapping his scenes. Like a lost puppy, Baekhyun followed after you with a pout. He understands why you were upset and in some way he was happy about it because that meant you cared enough to get jealous in the first place.

The director wrapped up for the day and sent everyone on their way. You were expecting everyone to go their separate ways since the boys didn’t have anything else to do today. But of course, Baekhyun had asked for you to go with him somewhere. You were his manager which meant you worked for him, so who were you to say no to him. Xiumin and Chen were slumped from today so it was just going to be you and Baekhyun this time.

He had his car this time around, an Audi S7 which was fairly new to the market. Just being in it felt expensive, the leather seats, the sleek black interior, everything about it screamed RICH! In your life, you have been a few high-end cars, mainly because of Junmyeon’s doing but never have you been in something so smooth and classy.

Baekhyun caught on to your amazement of the car and asked you if you were a fan of cars. You shook your head no, because you have no clue about them except a few name brands.

By the looks of it, you guys were traveling to the heart of Seoul. “Baekhyun where are you taking me?” You looked over at him. He was driving with one hand on the wheel and the other on the clutch, his black hair was draped over his forehead. At this moment he looked like a movie star even while driving.

“To somewhere I know you’ll like.” Your eyebrows raised. He seemed oddly confident in himself which only made you anticipate it more. The music was playing at a low volume in case you wanted to talk to him about something but you didn’t. The car ride was quiet but not uncomfortable in the slightest.

The car stopped in front of a fairly crowded sidewalk. Bystanders were walking pass, some with their significant others, some alone. But there was no doubt that at least one of them would recognize Baekhyun the minute he stepped out of his car.

“Why are we here? Are you trying to get swarmed by fans?” Your tone was a bit hesitant because you were unsure of his intentions.

He just laughed and put on his black face mask and pulled up the hood of his Supreme hoodie. Before you could stop him and convince him to go somewhere more lowkey, he was out of the car and making his way around to your side of the car and opening the door for you. Unlike him you had nothing to cover your identity in case you were to be noticed, so you kept your head low and got out of the car. Without warning, he grabbed hold of your hand and lead you into the restaurant. You didn’t cause a scene, instead, you just followed and complied. It seemed as though you guys were in a ramen restaurant.

Once you guys were seated you began to look around more and it hit you, you guys were in Big Bang Seungri’s ramen restaurant. You looked back at Baekhyun with wide eyes and an opened mouth.

“Are we really- Is this- How did you-” Were you really so starstruck that you couldn’t finish your questions. Baekhyun found it adorable and just nodded as if he knew exactly what you were trying to say.

“Seungri is a good friend of mine.” Of course, he was, they were both Korea’s most loved idols.

It took a minute to recover from your shock but when you did the lady was there to take your order. You ordered the chef’s special while Baekhyun opted for snow crab ramen. Your taste buds were excited for what was to come.

“So am I doing a good job on our first date?” Your eyes went wide at his words and he couldn’t miss the opportunity to laugh at them. “Don’t worry I’m just joking. I told you I’d give you time. I just wanted to bring you here because I heard how much you wanted to come here.”

You calmed down at his words, for a second you thought you could feel your heart jump into your throat. “Well, that is very considerate of you Baek.”

A smile grew onto the lips you found yourself staring at more often than not. The rest of your time was filled with small talk and Baekhyun making you laugh until it physically hurt. When it came to an end you were sad, this has been one of the best times you’ve had in a while. Baekhyun paid the bill after much persuasion for you to let him. Unfortunately, Seungri wasn’t there himself but Baekhyun promised that he’d introduce you guys one day.

It seemed impossible to get to the car because outside the restaurant were dozens of screaming fans. Someone must’ve noticed Baekhyun and alerted the media. There was no way you two would make it out of their unscathed, but there was no other choice. Both of you left the way you came in, with your heads down and hands connected. All you heard was ‘Oppa!’ and the occasional gasp when they saw your hands linked. You prayed to any god that they wouldn’t get ahold of your information because you knew once they did your life was going to be hell on earth. It’s not news that k-fans are very protective, to say the least, and the last thing you wanted in this life is to be on their bad side.

Baekhyun opened the door for you to get in before making his way around to the driver's seat. The loud noise on the outside seems to subside now that you were in the car. But they were all so close to the windows which meant they could see you at any time. The flash from the cameras didn’t help your situation either. Sensing your annoyance, Baekhyun put the car in drive and sped off.

Although you had fun tonight you feared what would be the outcome tomorrow. You were prepared to see your face plastered all over the news. Baekhyun apologized for the chaos that came toward the end but it wasn’t his fault. It’s not like he purposefully called his fans and made them fill the streets. You knew that all he wanted was some time to feel normal and breathe. Your hand reached over to cover his hand that was on the clutch. It was like you had no control over your body because even you had no idea what the hell was happening. As soon as your hand touched his, his eyes darted at you. The red on your cheeks got noticeable especially now that he was looking at you.

“Yah look at the road!” You just didn’t want him to look at you, not like that. That look is a look that could make you melt even in the harshest of winters.

He gave a light laugh as the smile played on the corner of his lips. He took your hand and laced your fingers with his. He was always the one to take the more intimate route. You knew you shouldn’t be doing things like this with him, it was unprofessional but you were past professionalism at this point. All that went out the window the minute he confessed. You were always someone who did things with your heart. It was apparent for a while that Baekhyun was something more to you, you just didn’t know what. You weren’t over Junmyeon yet and you didn’t want to use Baekhyun as some rebound. You wanted whatever you were feeling to be real and true. It was times like these where you could feel the realness of your feelings for him. You didn’t want to dive head first this time, you wanted to be sure, you needed to know that this was serious and that it wouldn’t end up like the last time you decided to take a chance on a guy.

Baekhyun knew your address better than you did, from the countless times he took you home. He walked you up to your apartment but this time didn’t step over the threshold.

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” The blush on your cheeks was slowly creeping up on you.

The rectangle smile you adored found its way to his lips. “Told you that you’d like it.” You thought back to what he said in the car on the way there and that caused a smile to display on your mouth. “I know you know about what is underway and I want to tell you that I’ll make sure to protect you. I won’t let this drive you away from me. Trust me.” He was talking about what you were dreading.

“I know you will Baekhyun. It’s just scary. I’ve seen the hate some of these idols girlfriends get and I’ve seen the way something like this can bring down an idols success. The last thing I want to do is bring you down.” Your eyes averted to the floor, too scared to look him in the eyes.

“You see this is why I like you. You always think about others before yourself.” He reached for your hands and enveloped them in his. “I want to show you what it’s like to be prioritized first. I want you to know that in my life you’ll never be second.”

He was saying all the things that Junmyeon should have said. He was saying all the right things. Maybe that’s why your lips were on his. Baekhyun wrapped his arm your waist to pull you flush against him. Your hands found their way around his neck and traversing through his dark locks. His tongue was brushing your bottom lip asking for access and you accepted it. Quickly he established his dominance as his mouth passionately worked against yours.

You pulled him through the door and he closed it with the kick of his foot. Both of you got rid of your shoes and while keeping the kiss going. His hands went from your hips to your thighs, he gave them a light tap as a signal for you to jump. He walked you both to your room but in order for him to get the right room you had to break the kiss and tell him. He successfully made it to your room and soon enough he was laying you on your bed removing any article of clothing that was attached to your body. You helped take off his hoodie and white tee under it, looking at his abs was like looking at a piece of art. With your bottom lip between your teeth, you felt his muscular torso that only added to the wetness growing in your black, lace panties. Baekhyun’s lips were now beginning their assault on your neck, it was his canvas to play with and he was going to make sure that everyone knew who was responsible. The moans that slipped out where impossible to hold in, not when he was making you feel like you were on cloud 9.

When he was done with your neck, he kissed your collarbone, then the valley of your breasts. He made sure to fulfill every need of yours. He took your perky nipple in his mouth and the other with his hand.

“God.” You moaned with your hands in his hair.

He smirked at your satisfaction before moving down your body, leaving a trail of kisses down your abdomen before reaching your pelvis. He was only a few inches from where you needed him most. His hand grazed your clothed core and that alone had the power to make you squirm. “So wet for me baby.”

Hooking two fingers around the lace he pulled it down and off your legs completely. He kissed the inside of your thighs tentatively before getting to your aching core.

“B-baekhyun please.” You were begging for him to do something, anything.

“What do you want me to do baby? My fingers? My mouth?” He was teasing you.

“B-both.” Your eyes clamored shut when you felt his long, slender fingers glide into you. Not even giving you time to steady yourself his tongue attended to your folds. You wanted nothing more than to buck your hips to get more friction but his hand on hips was stopping you. So you decided to put your hands back in his hair and help him that way. If he wanted you to be a moaning mess then consider is mission complete. By the end of this, you’d be screaming his name so loud that your friends in Busan would be able to hear it. “Baek. I- 'm gonna cum.” You could feel yourself get to that point already.

“Let go, baby. Come on my love. I want to taste all of you.” His fingers worked in and out of you faster as his lips were on your clit giving you the push you needed to send you over the edge. He had you seeing white and moaning a string of profanities.

When he said he wanted to taste all of you he wasn’t kidding. He cleaned up whatever juices came from you like it was some kind of drink. He removed his fingers and brought them to your lips so you could taste yourself. After all, he did you weren’t gonna refuse, you wrapped your lips around his dainty fingers and sucked off the wetness that came from your dripping pussy. “Isn’t it one of the best things you’ve ever tasted?” The smirk on his face let you know that he was nowhere near done with you. The bulge in his pants could be felt and you felt bad that it wasn’t already freed from its restraints. So you helped with that problem yourself. You sat up on your mattress and pulled his pants along with his boxers down. His member sprung free and you were taken aback by the size, he was bigger than expected, well that’s another false rumor you can check off.

Following the theme of the night, you let Baekhyun take complete control. He turned you over and you were now face down, ass up. Everything was on display for him to see and he felt like a kid on Christmas day. He was done teasing, he just wanted to feel you wrapped around him. He gave himself a few pumps before lining himself up with your entrance. It was excruciatingly slow, the stretch was slightly painful but pleasurable. “Jesus baby you’re so tight.”

Finally, all of him was inside of you. He gave you a minute to adjust to him before beginning his thrusts. They started a slow pace but you when you asked for more he picked up the pace and became rougher. The sound of skin slapping skin filled the room along with your moans and Baekhyun’s grunts.

Once again you were teetering on the edge of your release. Baekhyun caught on and snaked his hand around to work on your clit. “Oh my god! Don’t stop baby!” You spoke in pleasurable moans. You repeated his name like a chant before you were releasing yourself around his dick. Soon enough he was finishing as well and he pulled out and released himself on your ass.

You were on the pill but better safe than sorry. You collapsed on the bed feeling beyond pleasure. He fell right next to you, both of you breathing heavily and sweating profusely. “That was-”

“Yeah it was.” You said finally realizing what just happened.

His head turned to you, “So what does this mean for us?”

You were sober and knew what you were doing when you kissed him. You knew where this was heading. Maybe this is what you needed to help you come face first with your feelings. Maybe this was a sign that you needed to let go and trust him. You moved your body so that you were cuddled into him. “It means that whatever article about us tomorrow won’t be a lie.”

[byunskjm-blog]

Try Again

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Length: 4k

Masterlist

TW: Mentions of miscarriages

Being married to a doctor is stressful, but imagine marrying a surgeon. When you married Junmyeon you expected life to be easy. You had it all planned out. You were gonna graduate from University and begin your life as a teacher, the love of your life was supposed to fall into your lap, metaphorically of course, and you were supposed to live a fairytale. And for the most part that’s what happened. Three years into University you took your normal train ride to get to school, but God had something in store for you that morning. Apparently, when you said you wanted the love of your life to fall into your lap, the big man upstairs took it literally. Due to the shakiness of the train car you felt a heavy weight fall on you. Little did you know that man would be the person you chose to love in sickness and health. It just so happened that he went to the same University as you. It’s odd how life works sometimes, you could have gone your whole life without knowing who he was, but because of one shaky train ride, he ended up being your greatest love. 

It was impossible not to see him, suddenly he was always near you, right in front of your eyes. Maybe he was always there but only now you were able to see him. He was in his 2nd year of Med school whilst you were one year away from graduation. Both of you decided that maybe friendship was a good option, it was just not the right time to go into a serious relationship. Rapidly, you and Junmyeon became close. You had friends in University, you even had your roommate. But they weren’t him. With him, everything came effortlessly. You found yourself talking to him every chance you got, even if it were about the silliest things like if kimbap or bibimbap was better. You shared your secrets and he shared his and that’s the way it was for 2 years. 

In your senior year of Uni, you began seeing Oh Sehun, easy to say Junmyeon wasn’t a fan. He always claimed you could do better and Sehun wasn’t the one. Back then you thought Sehun was the one, on paper he was perfect for you. But life never follows the guidelines that are laid out. 8 months into the relationship you found him in bed with his TA. The amount of self-control it took Junmyeon to not deck him in the face was immeasurable. It hurt, of course, it hurt, but you didn’t let it hold you back. You simply believed that he wasn’t the one, just like Junmyeon said. It took you a while to open up after Sehun but eventually, you did… for Junmyeon. 

After a long night with a bottle of Tequila things were said, things you’d never thought you would hear in this lifetime anyway. “You know what men ain’t shit,” you slurred with the bottle in your hand. 

“I told you so,” Junmyeon said just as hammered as you. 

“You just had to say it didn’t you,” eyes narrowed at him as if you could burn a hole through him if you focused hard enough. 

He shrugged, “What can I say it’s my job.” 

You rolled your eyes, “So tell me Mr. Hotshot. If he wasn’t the one for me, then who is?” The room was silent as you waited for an answer. “Because right now I feel like there is absolutely no-” 

“Me.” It happened so quick you had no time to properly process his words. You looked at him, pure shock in your eyes, after almost 3 years as best friends he finally made his move. Then as if you were living some cheesy rom-com, he leaned and kissed you. It was soft, sweet, and cliche as hell because all you saw during the kiss was fireworks.

Both of you made your feelings for each other clear and from then on it was pretty straight forward. Days turned into months, months into years and soon enough he was on one knee proposing. Timing was never your guys’ theme, he proposed on the same day you found out he would possibly be leaving the country. “I can’t say yes unless I know you won’t leave.” You were upset because you wanted to say yes more than anything. But you can’t plan a future when you didn’t even know if he was staying or not. “I’m not leaving. Of course, I’m not leaving. I’m not crazy. So can you please say yes already? My knee is hurting.” As if it were second nature you nodded your head as he slipped the ring on your finger. 

That’s how you found yourself married to Korea’s most renowned surgeon. You both came to an agreement to start a family when he finished his residency. It was a good plan, but plans never went accordingly. Four years into your relationship you discovered you were pregnant. It came as a shock to the both of you, you both were always so careful. With this pregnancy came a lot of arguments. Junmyeon was overwhelmed and stressed and that transferred over to you. 

“You’re never home Junmyeon!” You yelled in frustration. 

“I’m a fucking surgeon! What do you expect?!” He fired back just as enraged. Maybe it was the hormones, but you were crying and Junmyeon was instantly filled with regret. “I’m sorry. It’s just you knew what you were signing up for when you married me.” 

You let out a heavy sigh and looked up at him with teary eyes. “I did know what I signed up for, but did you?” He was confused by your words. “When you married me you knew what I wanted in life. You knew I wanted a family, a home, happiness. And I postponed all that for you. For your goddamn career. I can’t wait any longer Junmyeon. Either you begin to prioritize me or you lose me altogether.” 

He carded a hand through his hair. To him, he felt wronged, he felt misunderstood. “That’s not fair and you know it. You can’t make me choose between you and my career.” 

You let out a scoff of disdain. “It shouldn’t even be a choice to you Junmyeon.”

You left that night, leaving him to think of where he went wrong and why you were so hurt by his actions. You were still in your first trimester when everything happened. You had been spending nights at your best friends house. Junmyeon would try to contact you but not as often as you thought he would. Messages were left unread, phone calls unanswered, voicemails untouched.

To you, it was just another day at work. You woke up, got ready and made your daily commute to work. The kids were hyper as normal and you appreciated it. They gave you the energy you needed. You were breaking up a fight between two students fighting over the same toy. Then you felt a liquid running down your thighs. The cramping in your stomach was excruciating. Your first thought, your baby. Your hand flew to your stomach to feel your small protruding bump. The kids around you were scared and so were you.

“It’s ok.” You told one of your kids. “Can you go next door and call Miss. Park?” You asked softly trying not to worry them even though internally you wanted to cry. He bolted off toward the room and when he came back he was with an adult. A friend you could trust. Her eyes went wide when she saw you kneeling on the floor with your hands on your stomach. She wanted to make a scene but you calmly told her to call the ambulance and don’t worry the kids. She followed your instructions and within in a few minutes, an ambulance showed up to wheel you away.

“Do you want me to call Junmyeon?” She asked as you were lifted into the ambulance.

You shook your head, “No, just make sure the kids are ok and tell them I’ll be fine.” The paramedics were trying to examine you to see what was wrong. “I’m having a miscarriage,” You simply stated.

Both their eyes went wide. You didn’t need some doctor to tell you what you already knew. Your baby was gone.

You knew all the signs, perks of marrying a doctor. Everything felt too surreal, you wanted to cry, you should’ve cried, but nothing came out. All you felt was numbness. To make things even better you were taken to Junmyeon’s hospital. How were you going to tell your husband that you lost the baby he probably didn’t want to begin with?

They wheeled you out the back of the ambulance and listed your information to the doctor who would treat you. A young wide-eyed intern recognized. “Mrs. Kim?” She asked with a shock expression plastering her face.

“Hi, darling.” You smiled like you weren’t in the process of losing your child.

“Do you want me to page Dr. Kim? He is in sur-” You cut her off with a shake of her head.

“He is busy, don’t bother him,” You coldly stated.

“But Mrs. Kim I think he would want to know-” Once more you stopped her from finishing your sentence.

“He is in the middle of surgery. I’ll be fine. Don’t page him,” you repeated.

She nodded this time and began her examination. She flipped through your charts. “It says here you are pregnant,” she looked at the clipboard then you looking for confirmation. You nodded. It would be simple to just tell her what was wrong but how will she learn.

This wasn’t normal, what you were doing wasn’t normal. You should have been a crying mess wanting to see your husband. But instead, you were far more concerned with helping an intern learn. She began an ultrasound to try and find a heartbeat but it never came. Then it hit her. “Oh my- I’m so sorry.” She looked at you with nothing but pity in her eyes. She sympathized for you.

“So doctor how do you fix it?” You asked feeling absolutely nothing.

She was frazzled of course she was. “Um… Uh, you can uh.”

You sensed her nervousness and grabbed her hand to calm her. “You know this.”

She gulped and nodded. “You can either go home and wait for the pregnancy tissue to pass or you can do what most doctors recommend, which is to get surgery.” Then the room went silent, waiting on for you to decide.

“I’ll do surgery. But on one condition. I want you in the OR.” Even in these kinds of situations you were absolutely selfless and being the teacher you were.

She left to book the OR and leave you to think over everything. What was wrong with you? Is this how you coped? Were you that numb to the pain? Then you remembered Junmyeon. You knew he was going to find you, it was inevitable. This was where he spent the majority of his life, not home but in this hospital.

Nurses came into prep you for surgery and to go over what the operation will be like. They walked you through it step by step and told you the aftermath. All you did was nod and pretend to listen to them because, to be frank, you didn’t care much about anything at this point. There was always a risk with surgery, success rates came with failures too. Maybe deep down some horrible part of you wish you were one of those failures. It’s not like you had much to lose. You shouldn’t have been thinking like this, you know you shouldn’t have. But that day you were thinking abnormally.

They wheeled you into the OR, the intern stuck by your side still feeling nothing but sorry for you. The least you could do was make yourself useful. You laid on the table and counted back from 10. As each number passed by the groggier you got until everything went black.

Junmyeon finished a 5-hour surgery repairing a heart, he went into the break room to stretch and call you. It’s been weeks since you came home and he knew you well enough to know that you valued your space when you were annoyed or mad. But this has been going on for too long and he was tired of waking up to an empty bed in the morning, at least when he was there.

As usual, you didn’t pick up your phone. “Hey, it’s me. I just want to talk, come home tonight. I’m not on call and I want to fix this.” He sighed on hung up the phone again. He had one more operation to go, it was small and wouldn’t take too much time. He figured if he got finished early he would have enough to go home and cook something for you.

He read the OR board to confirm the OR he was working in, nothing was out of the ordinary until he saw your name. Under it he read a D&C and that’s when all color left his face. As if he was on fire he rushed towards the room you were being operated in. His suspicions were proven right when he saw you on the table, cut open. “Why did no one page me?!” He yelled feeling enraged at the way he found out his wife was undergoing surgery.

The intern who you coerced to not tell Junmyeon looked at him with a mixture of pity and fear in her eyes. “S-she told us not to,” she stuttered out.

“She doesn’t know what she is talking about! I am her husband, your boss! If my wife is having surgery I should be the first to know!” He continued his scolding.

The main surgeon who was performing the procedure finally spoke up, “Dr. Kim I respect your feelings but I need you to leave my OR,” his voice just as firm as Junmyeon’s.

“Excuse me? Did you not hear me the first time? That’s my wife on that table!” Junmyeon threw back feeling offended he would even suggest such a thing.

“I understand that but since she is your wife you have to be outside like any other family member would. She is my patient and I will respect her wishes, and if one of those wishes is to not have you here then I will kindly ask you to leave my OR once more.” His composure remained intact, it had to, he was operating on you.

Junmyeon knew both sides of the coin, as a doctor, he knew it was unethical for him to be in the room when the surgeon asked you to leave. As a husband, it was heartbreaking to leave you behind so vulnerable. But if you didn’t want him in the room he would abide by your wishes and leave. He left the OR only to go back to your room and pace uncontrollably. How far along were you? How’d it happen? Why didn’t you tell him sooner? Why wasn’t he there? No matter which perspective he took on in everyone he was a dick. In every angle, he had chosen his career over you. He had let you go through all this alone. He had let you down. Through good times and bad, that’s what he vowed, yet there you were, right under his nose, and he had no idea at all. Did he really ruin his marriage? In times like these he hated his job, he hated his ego and his pride. If it weren’t for those three things he would’ve known. He would’ve been there.

D&C’s were usually quick and short but minutes felt like days to him as he waited for you to come back. When you finally did you were still asleep due to the anesthesia. Your doctor told him about everything, from the miscarriage to the surgery. He treated Junmyeon like a worried husband and not a know it all surgeon.

“This will take a toll on her more mentally and emotionally than physically.” He said looking at Junmyeon’s hand holding yours. “All I can say for that is be there. Take a leave of absence, because these are times when you need each other the most.”

Junmyeon nodded, “Thank you,” he said softly. The doctor cracked a half-hearted smile and left you two alone. He never thought in a million years he’d see you like this. After weeks of not looking at the freckle on your cheekbone or the brown eyes that brought out your beautiful smile, here you were. He cried, hard. He cried while you were unconscious because he knew after that he would have to be your rock. Apology after apology, it was non-stop till your eyes cracked open, absorbing the bright light. There was a sharp pain in your abdomen, as expected. Using the hand that wasn’t being occupied you caressed your now empty belly. You knew it was different now, there was a void.

You glanced to your right and saw Junmyeon looking at you with the same look that intern gave you, the same look everyone from here on out would give you. Even your husband pitied you. He moved the hair that covered your face so he could see you in your entirety.

“I’m sorry.” You said softly. You were apologizing because you failed.

“No. You don’t apologize for something you had no control over ok?” He said looking at you with glossy eyes. “If anything I owe you everything. I should have been there, I should have known.” You guys were trying to place the blame on yourselves. Junmyeon listed where he went wrong in this whole thing. How he wasn’t thinking clearly and how he should have fought harder for you. But you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all your fault. You left, you hid the baby, you had the miscarriage. So you couldn’t blame Junmyeon for any of it because at the end of the day you were the cause. But even in the midst of confrontation, not a single tear left your dry eyes. The numbness never faded.

Junmyeon told you that you would be able to go home tomorrow but where was home? Home hasn’t been what it was before. Of course, Junmyeon would be the one to take you back, he told you all about his leave of absence on how he was going to be there for you. You should have been happy but happiness was such a concept to you now. It didn’t come as easy as it once did.

So as said, the next day Junmyeon took you back to the two-story loft you shared and called home. Saying the house was messy was an understatement better left unsaid. It’s not like Junmyeon had time to clean up after himself, he barely had time to breathe. He had set up the bedroom for you, making sure you had everything you needed on hand. You missed the comfort of your bed, it’s been 3 long weeks without it.

As you laid down and stared into oblivion Junmyeon began talking. “I was thinking, maybe we should go see a therapist.”

It was a suggestion you made before but Junmyeon turned it down due to his busy schedule. Now you weren’t sure if you wanted to sit and talk about all the feelings you kept bottled up. Instead, you came up with some bogus excuse, “I’ll have to see. I have a lot going on with school this month.”

He looked at you in shock, “Why are you going back so soon?”

Because I can’t be here. That’s what you wanted to say but instead, you said, “Because I have 27 little kids who depend on me, I have plans made and promises to keep.” That was a secret jab that was unintentional yet satisfying.

“Sweetie you just had surgery. Something traumatic just happened. You need time to recover.” He was now by your side again looking at you with eyes you once adored.

“I lost my baby. It happens. I’ll be fine.” You said it so nonchalantly it scared him. “Go back to work if you want. It’s ok. It’ll be ok.” It sounded like you were trying to convince yourself more than him.

The last thing Junmyeon wanted was to upset you or push you too far. So he nodded and continued cleaning up.

You did what was necessary: you slept, you ate, you showered, and you breathed. That was all you could ask for. You decided to return to school next Monday which was in 2 days. Junmyeon was still wary of that plan but he wasn’t gonna be the one to stop you from working because that would be quite hypocritical. When Monday rolled around you got up like it was any other day, but this time Junmyeon was there to see you off to work. When you were about to leave he stopped you once more.

“Are you sure about this? I’m sure they’ll understand if you come back next week.” Of course, he was worried about you, ever since that day all he did was worry about you and the more you said you were fine the less he believed it.

“Junmyeon I’ll be fine.” How could you be so calm about everything? This was far from fine. Even though Junmyeon got the ok for him to go back to work he didn’t. He stayed home to care for you and watch you.

As suspected you threw yourself into your work and quickly you canceled everything out.There was always some school play you were helping with or an after-school tutoring session. Making yourself preoccupied was second hand to you.

After your first week back you took a bath. The hot water warmed up your skin and soon you closed your eyes in serenity. Lower and lower you slipped till you were completely submerged. After the first 15 seconds you should’ve came up for air but there you were going into your second minute. You closed your eyes and let the rest figure itself out. Slowly you began to fade into a deeper sleep till finally you were pulled by a pair of hands.

You coughed up some swallowed water and gasped for air. “Are you OK?!” You wiped your face and stepped out the bath like nothing happened.

“I’m f-“

“PLEASE STOP WITH THE ‘I'm fines ’ and the ‘I’m Ok’ I can’t take it anymore! You aren’t fine and when will you realize it?!” After weeks of stepping on eggshells around you, he was done. “You nearly drowning in the tub isn’t fine! You going back to work less than a week after a miscarriage isn’t ok! Why are you insisting it is?!” His gaze hard on yours.

“Because if I’m not fine and ok then I’m sad.” You said softly wrapping a robe around your body.

“And what is so wrong with that? You have every right to be sad! It’s not gonna kill you to show a shred of emotion!”

You laughed and shook your head at his comment.

He looked at you bewildered at what about any of this could be funny.

“But the thing is, it is gonna kill me. If I don’t pretend to be fine then I have to face reality. And my reality is my baby died, it’s dead and there is nothing I can do about it.” The tears gathered at your waterline. “I need to be fine because if I’m not then I’m just stuck with self-pity and I already get enough of that from everyone. So please Junmyeon just let me pretend to be ok because that’s the only way I can keep breathing.”

Your first tear fell and Junmyeon caught it. His hands cupped your warm cheeks as he gazed into your brown eyes. “We can try again. I promise you we will have a family.”

You gave a weak smile, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep Jun.”

“I’ll leave. I’ll quit my job. I’ll prove to you that this is what I want. That you are what I want.”

You knew he was being serious that’s why you shook your head. “We’ve been through this once and you made it abundantly clear where your priorities lie. I’m not gonna be the person who lets you throw $100,000’s of dollars out the window just because you feel bad.”

He was taken aback at how blunt you were. “Is that what you honestly think of me? You think that I’m throwing my career away because I feel bad?”

You nodded, “Why else would you do it?”

He removed his hands from you, suddenly feeling too close to comfort. “Maybe because I love my wife. Maybe because I have vows to keep.”

You scoffed at his words, “Those vows didn’t seem to matter when I needed it to the most. Through sickness and in health?” You paused and look at him with your glossy eyes. “I was pregnant for more than a month and you were to busy to even notice.”

“You should have told m-”

You cut him off, “How? You aren’t even home half the time. What would have changed if I told you? You would have still been working, you would have still chosen surgery over me, over us,” guilt-tripping was such an understatement.

“I work to give you this home, those designer clothes, and bags. I work for you!” Junmyeon said in clear frustration.

“Is that what you tell yourself? Do you wake up every morning and get ready for me? Do you cut people open for me? Do you overexert yourself for me?” He was silent. “Because I didn’t ask you to do any of that? I didn’t ask for any of this. All I asked for was you,” you looked at him with hurt eyes. “You were the one thing I didn’t have. Yeah sure I should be grateful for the life I have but it fucking sucks when your husband doesn’t even have time for you. I would choose the life of women who have a loving husband over this one any day.”

Every blow went deeper and deeper until eventually, someone had to stop it. “This is going nowhere,” Junmyeon let out an exhausted sigh running his hands over his face.

“It’s not. And I don’t think it will.” You agreed with him.

“So what are we gonna do? Stay like this forever?” His gaze fixated on you.

You shook your head no, “I don’t intend to. I can’t live like this anymore Junmyeon.” Her eyes welled up with tears.

“Then what do you suggest we do? I already offered to leave my job, there isn’t much more I can give.”

“I can’t let you do that. I can’t have you resenting me. I-I think it’s best if I leave for a while.”

His eyes shot up again. His head shook his head furiously. “N-no you can’t leave. Not again.” His hands found your face and held it softly.

“I need to. This,” she signaled back and forth between them. “This isn’t healthy for either of us. It’ll be for a month or so. I need to leave and find out what I want.”

He looked deep into your eyes, “Do you not want this anymore? Is this marriage not enough for you?”

Now it was your turn to feel guilty. You broke eye contact to let your eyes fall to the floor with your tears. “I-I don’t know what I want anymore Junmyeon. That’s why I need time to figure it out and being around you in this house will only make it worse.”

His forehead pressed against yours as his tears dropped. “How am I going to keep going without you?” He breathed out.

“You’ve been doing that for a while now Junmyeon. You can live without me. I need to know if I can live without you.”

[byunskjm-blog]

Changes (IV)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, CEO! AU, Idol! AU

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader x Baekhyun

Length: 6k

Changes Masterlist

The sun was rising by the time you subdued your cries. You pulled yourself together and decided to take a shower and sleep. The hot water hit your back which sent a shiver through your body. What you were doing couldn’t be considered showering, you just stood under the shower head and let the water wash over your body. For once your mind was thoughtless as you stood there under the hot water that began to create steam. You turned off the water and stepped out. 

It’s been a while since you wore your own pajamas. It was normal for you to sleep at Junmyeon’s and fall asleep in his clothes. The feeling was a bit weird at first but quickly you grew used to it and fell in bed. It may have been because you were awake for almost 24 hours or because today was hell on earth, but you found no trouble falling into a deep sleep. 

The sound of your name being yelled throughout the apartment is what made you wake up from your slumber. It only felt like you had minutes of sleep but when you looked at the time you saw it was almost 4 in the afternoon, you had been sleeping for almost 10 hours. 

Your attention was stolen when your bedroom door was opened, the person behind it was Sehun. He must’ve gotten back from Daegu, you weren’t really listening when he was talking about how long the trip would be, it was a surprise you remembered that he went to Daegu to begin with. 

“Oh wow you’re actually home. Thought you would be at Mr. Rich’s house,” his tone proved that he was actually quite surprised to see you. 

“Well get used to it because I don’t think i’ll ever be there again… at least not in this lifetime,” your voice was groggy from the obvious fact that you just woke up but your words threw Sehun for a loop. With an eyebrow raised he gave you a look that implied that you would need to fill him in, but did you want to? Even if he was your best friend did you have to recap that awful experience in your life?

You and Sehun had this weird thing where you didn’t even need to speak to communicate. That’s why when you gave him a look saying how much you didn’t want to talk about it. Sehun replied with, “Come on i’ll cook some food and you can tell me all about it.” 

You were famished so you really didn’t want to turn down an offer to eat, especially if Sehun was cooking. But you had to maintain your facade of unwillingness so you groaned and rolled your eyes, reluctantly agreeing. You had the habit of watching Sehun while he was making food, to you it was like a live cooking show. Today he was making tteokbokki which was always one of your comfort foods. Sehun always played music while he was cooking so both him and you hummed to songs you knew of and when one of your favorites came on you would dance. The food was finished and you were practically salivating at this point. 

As you guys ate you explained everything that happened yesterday. From Junmyeon getting some random girl pregnant to him showing up at 3 am. By the end of it Sehun felt like he had just experienced a drama in real life. He was pissed at Junmyeon and wanted to beat his ass for what he did but you both knew that wasn’t going to happen. Like best friends do he cheered you up and made you laugh. 

“In all honesty I never liked him to begin with. He always radiated small dick energy.” Although it was a joke his tone was serious. You bursted into a fit of laughter and Sehun questioned if he was wrong or not. He continued on with his bizarre, hilarious jokes that made you laugh till it physically hurt. You were begging him to stop because you couldn’t take anymore. “Are you feeling better?” The question was serious and came from a place that Sehun never really showed. 

“Much.” You were wiping away the tears that came from your non stop laughter. 

“Good. From now on I only want to see those kinds of tears. Understand?” You nodded but couldn’t help but giggle at how much of a dad Sehun sounded like. Your body tensed up as you gave him an army salute and responded with, “Yes sir”. You were both such dorks but it was something that couldn’t be helped and it was something that bonded you together.

Because Sehun was the one to cook that meant you would be the one to clean up afterwards, which you really didn’t mind. You actually liked cleaning, it cleared your mind and allowed you to be as meticulous as you wanted. It wasn’t like you had OCD or anything, you just found cleaning as a stress reliever of sorts. You put on some of your favorite songs of the month and just began scrubbing away at the dirty dishes. It felt like not only were you cleaning the dishes but your soul and mind as well. You hummed along to “Worst of You” by Maisie Peters, a song that’s been stuck in your head for days. But it was interrupted when you got a call. 

Quickly, you took off your gloves and moved to pick up your phone. You answered it right before it went to voicemail, “Hello?” You didn’t even check to see who it was before you answered. 

“Hey” That voice, it was as sweet as honey. A smile crept up on your lips without even knowing it. “Hey Baek” Why did you feel warmth in your chest when you said his name? So many questions but you didn’t have any clue as to what the answers were. 

“I got scared that you wouldn’t pick up.” It was followed by an awkward chuckle. 

“Well you explicitly told me I couldn’t ignore any of your calls or texts,” you kept a playful tone with him but while also trying to let him know you’d always answer for him. 

“Ah you remembered,” the nostalgia of last night hitting his memory. “Well I just called to ask if you perhaps wanted go get some coffee. I have some things I wanted to talk about with you.” 

It was currently 5pm, people were getting off of work and the traffic was horrible. But that wasn’t your concern, your concern was what the hell Baekhyun wanted talk to you about? Did you unintentionally do something to make him mad? He didn’t sound mad, but what did he want from you so suddenly? 

“Hello? You still there?” You were too consumed by your thoughts to remember he was on the other side of the line. You snapped back to reality and answered him, “Yeah just text me the address and I’ll meet you there.” You were braver than the US marines by accepting his request. 

As you got ready you were preparing yourself for the worst. What if he was mad at you and hated you? You were infamous for over analyzing everything and that’s what you were doing right now, over analyzing his simple offer to coffee. By the time you got ready and stopped thinking like a mad man you realized if you didn’t leave now you would show up late. “Hun! I’ll be back later,” you screamed across the apartment trying to be a decent roommate and let him know of your absence. But it was no use he was probably in his room with his blaring headphones.

You grabbed your scarf and coat and ran out the door in a rush. Hailing a cab in Seoul was not an easy task but you somehow managed to pull it off. The ride to there was fairly short, short enough to only cost you a couple bucks. It somehow managed to start snowing on your ride over which caused you to run into the cafe as soon as you arrived. It was so cold to the point where you could see your breathe in the air. A nice cup of hot chocolate sounded so amazing that your mouth was drooling unintentionally. 

When you stepped into the warmth that was the cafe, you were greeted with a wave from a man in a black peacoat, a black hat, and a facemask. You could tell from a mile away it was Baekhyun, his eyes gave it away. He was dressed like this because for one he was an idol out in public and two as said earlier it was freezing. 

On your way over to the table you undid your scarf and took of your beanie that gave warmth to your ears. Just by your presence Baekhyun’s mood lifted by a million. His eye smile was showing brightly even under that cap and mask. It only made yours show as well. 

“Mother nature never ceases to amaze me,” you said breathing warmth into your frozen hands. 

Baekhyun caught onto the fact that you were cold and motioned for a waiter to come to the table so you could order a drink. You ordered a hot chocolate to fulfill your imagination. When you heard Baekhyun order his drink you noticed he didn’t order without you which for some reason made your heart lighter. The waiter got both orders and went behind the counter to place it. 

“You are in very big trouble,” his voice got stern and your body went stiff. Your worst nightmare was becoming a reality. It wasn’t until you heard his feather-like laughter that you could finally breathe. “Relax it was a joke,” he continued to chuckle, enjoying how scared you got. You kicked his shin under the table, “Well it wasn’t funny.” No matter how much it hurt Baekhyun continued to laugh. “It was pretty funny to me.” Even though you couldn’t see his smile you knew it was being shown behind that mask. 

Their drinks came shortly after and you were ready to revel in the chocolatey goodness that came with it. You had a weird habit of putting a pinch of salt in your hot chocolate. All your friends shamed you for it and Baekhyun was no different. 

“Are you really putting SALT in your hot chocolate?!” He was shook to say the least and you just nodded your head. You have been through this talk enough times to know all the stages that would follow suit. “I like the sweet and salty effect,” you said before blowing on the hot liquid. 

“I can’t believe I like a girl who puts salt in hot chocolate,” he mumbled under his breath but you still picked up on it and that comment made you choke on the sip you took. Baekhyun’s eyes went wide from all the coughing but you waved him off saying it was ok. 

Were you hearing things? Of course he had to mean it in a friendly way right? RIGHT?! You were pulled from your thoughts when Baekhyun asked you once again if you were ok. You just nodded and said, “too hot”. You resumed sipping your drink hoping the awkwardness that just built up would die down. Being the person he was, Baekhyun broke it. 

“So you’re probably curious as to why I asked you to come on such a short notice.” Those words made you put down your drink and look up at him. If he only knew how much time you spent agonizing over it. “Well after last nights occurrences I was thinking of a way I could get you to stick around, and being the genius idol I am, I found the perfect solution.” Baekhyun was never one to be humble when it came to his wits, looks, or ability to lighten up a room. 

You crossed your arms over your chest and with a raised eyebrow, leaned back against your seat. “And what is this ‘perfect solution’ exactly?” You were genuinely curious as to what his answer would be. 

“CBX is looking for a new manager and I think you would fill that spot flawlessly,” he got right to the point and it made you want to burst out laughing but you stopped yourself from doing so. ‘This has to be a joke?’ You thought to yourself but as you looked at him longer you started to realize it wasn’t. “Wait are you serious right now?” Suddenly your tone was serious and you were leaning against the table to make sure you heard his answer clearly. 

“Of course I am. Seoksoon hyungnim put in his resignation a month ago. Him and his wife are moving to Gwangju.” Your eyes went wide at every word he spoke. You were always someone who managed yourself and others well so you felt you would excel in this. And you truly did love being around the boys, they always made you laugh and smile. But there was one thing stopping you from eagerly accepting this amazing offer. “Baekhyun this sounds absolutely amazing. But i’m not sure CEO Kim would want to see me back at SM,” your head was low as you spoke. 

When you heard Baekhyun’s incredulous laugh you lifted her head. What was funny about this? Didn’t he want you to work with them? “You really thought I would offer you this opportunity without running it by Suho?” Your eyebrows were furrowed signalizing you was utterly confused. “I talked to him before I came here and he gave the all clear.” 

That has to be the most shocking thing you heard all day. Suho really allowed you back in his company, not saying you did anything to deserve not to be there in the first place but it amazed you that he was willing to sacrifice his time to heal. 

“Well then I guess there is no reason to say no is there?” A smile lifted up on your lips when the words left them, which in return made Baekhyun’s get bigger than you thought was possible. 

After talking about how things would work and 2 more cups of hot chocolate it was time for you to say your goodbyes. Once again you successfully hailed a cab. Baekhyun made sure you got in safely and even gave you money to pay for it although you refused for a minute. He saw you off with a smile on his face and a wave goodbye. 

Another short cab ride later and you were home. When you got in you kicked off your shoes, untied your scarf, and hung up your coat with it. It looks like things were looking up for you and you wouldn’t have to worry much about seeing Junmyeon because you would never surpass the 10th floor. You softly knocked on Sehun’s door to tell him the news but when you opened the door you were greeted by his sleeping figure, passed out on the bed. “Goodnight Hunnie,” you whispered softly before gently closing the door. 

You flopped onto your bed and decided it’d be a good time to update your social media. You’ve been off the grid for a while but you posted a picture of yourself that you took a week ago with the caption ‘Only going up’. Your account was only followed by your closest friends and maybe some family if they weren’t annoying. 

Sana and Yoona were the first to comment and it hit you that you hadn’t even told them about everything that happened. For as long as you have known them you have never hid anything from them. Trying to keep that habit you sent a text in the groupchat that simply said, “tea”. That was like drawing bees to honey because as soon as it was sent they all assembled. Eunji was the first to respond obviously thirsty for drama which was normal for the whole group. The rest followed after eager to know what the tea was. You started off warning them that they’d be livid and not to worry because you had everything on lock. You told them everything, up till Baekhyun offering you to be his manager. By the end of it you assumed right and they were all pissed and threatening to skin Junmyeon alive. 

It all made you laugh until you read what Sana had sent. “Seems like Baekhyun caught feelings.” You wanted to tell her how hilarious that was and how never in a million years would Byun Baekhyun like you, but your heart felt joy in hearing that someone thought that way. 

They all bid their goodnights, you earlier than them because of the time zone difference. At least tonight you weren’t falling asleep to the sound of your sobs.

Your alarm was set to 5 am and you absolutely despised it. When you worked as an assistant for Junmyeon your were allowed to come in at 10, mainly because you’d either come in with Junmyeon himself or because he would let you sleep in to your heart’s content. But things were different now and you had to break the habit of doing things the way you used to. 

Relentlessly you rolled out of bed and fell harshly on the cold, wood floor. Waking up was never your strong suit but you had a feeling that a nice hot shower would do the trick. After you got out of the shower you got ready. Your wardrobe up until now was basically pencil skirts and blouses. You were a hundred percent sure that being a manager didn’t require this style. So you opted for black, ripped, skinny jeans and a basic white tee. 

You hadn’t dressed casually since you came here. It was always short skirts and itchy tops that looked better on a grandma than it did you. You thought this suited you way more than your previous style. Too tired to do anything fancy with your hair, you threw it up into a messy bun with a few loose strands that frame your face. As always you kept your makeup basic and simple, nothing too extreme but something subtle enough for people to know you tried. 

It was about 5:45 when you got a text from the group chat that Baekhyun put you in last night. You were reading coffee orders from each of them and you felt a little bitter because you didn’t know being a manager would also mean being a personal assistant. But you sucked it up and made your way out of the house, making sure to put on your coat, scarf, and beanie, so you wouldn’t freeze to death. You felt pretty confident in your ability to get a cab at this point. You got in and gave him directions to the coffee shop near SM. You didn’t understand why the coffee had to be from THIS specific cafe. There was a coffee shop in the lobby of the building, so why were they so persistent on this one in particular? You stopped questioning it and placed their orders including your own. It then hit you that you would be the one paying for it all. Not that it was a burden or anything but for god's sake you were just a college student and they were idols. You always saw on TV how managers practically pay for everything when they’re out and you feared for your wallet. 

It wasn’t long till your order was called and you were carrying 4 drinks in a tray and making your way to SM in this harsh weather. The snow only seemed to get worse from last night. You thanked the heavens when you entered SM and you were instantly encapsulated by warmth. The boys said they would be here and it made sense they would be here this early, they were preparing for a comeback after all. You felt bad for being so irrational earlier, you had to understand the stress an idol is under, especially around comeback season. That’s why you entered the practice room with a big smile on your face and the coffee they wanted. It was apparent how much their mood had lifted but you didn’t know if it was because of you or the coffee. 

“Wow she is already the best manager we’ve had,” Chen bragged causing a redness to show on your cheeks. They all took a sip of their drinks and as if it was a life saver, they let out a long sigh. You couldn’t hold back a giggle when they did that. 

All of you took a seat on the couch in the practice room. While you were here you had to run down to the 5th floor and get all their schedules ready and situated and make sure everything was in place and ready to go. “So to my knowledge thus far you guys are just practicing today and have 1 recording session with Chanyeol,” you said with a proud look on your face for remembering all that. 

All 3 of them nodded in unison before the eldest of the bunch spoke up, “Make sure you’re free after work. We want to take you out as a celebration for getting the job.” You wanted to refuse and insist they sleep instead but you knew them well enough to know that once they had their mind set there was no changing it. So you just nodded and agreed to their proposal. 

Soon after you left them to get back to practice and went down to floor 5 where you would get hold of their schedules. You were met with a nice lady who went by the name, Jihyo. There was no frowning when talking to her because she always kept the mood alive. You kindly asked if she could print out multiple copies of CBX’s upcoming schedule and Jihyo complied with no problem at all. As she was doing that she began conversing with you and talked about you were so lucky to be working with CBX and you made sure to let Jihyo know that you knew that as well. 

After a few more minutes everything was done and ready for you to take. You were a little sad that you had to say goodbye to the sweet girl but you did, letting her know how much you appreciate her. There was no bringing your mood down now. That was until you got into the elevator and saw none other than Kim Junmyeon leaning against the back rail. 

You were ready to turn around and bolt but you couldn’t because a horde of people shoved you in until you were right next to him. You cursed under your breath when the doors close. Couple of guys kept moving further back leaving almost no room for you to go. Just as you were about to hit the back of the elevator until you felt a hand on your lower back. Immediately you turned left to see who the hand belonged to and of course it was Junmyeon. You shivered under his touch which was a first. He leaned down and whispered in your ear, “careful”. 

Why did that one word have so much power? Your eyes were glued shut because you needed to regain your focus. Funny how just 2 days ago you would melt under his touch and crave for more of it, now you wanted nothing more than to be out of it. 

After what felt like a lifetime the elevator finally reached your floor and you were more than happy for that. But he wasn’t gonna let you leave without letting you know how good you looked today. No matter how much you didn’t want to you blushed at his compliment but you weren’t gonna thank him for it. Instead you chose to ignore and walk out like you didn’t hear it in the first place. 

A wave of oxygen entered your lungs and you could finally feel like you were breathing. It got to the point where you were doubled over trying to catch your breath and compose yourself. 

When you got a handle on it you made your way to the practice room where the boys would still be. As expected you walked into Baekhyun jumping on Minseok’s back and Jongdae just laughing his ass off in the back. Usually any other professional manager would tell them to quit the antics and get to work but you couldn’t help but laugh at the scene. The noise of your laugh had hit their ears causing them to turn with terrified expressions, fearing you would yell at them. “I’m next” that was all you said before running up and jumping on the eldest back. All of them bursted out into a fit of laughter as Minseok began spinning around with you on his back. You knew it was unethical for you to be doing this kind of stuff but you also knew idols were human too and they deserved to have fun once in a while too. 

When Minseok let you down he held his lower back like a grandpa in his last years would. “Yah what do you eat?” he was implying that you were heavy and you had no other choice but to take offence. So you slapped his arm harshly and scowled at him. 

“Please you are just old grandpa,” Baekhyun sneered at him. With that he signaled for you to hop on his back so he could show Minseok just how weak he was. You got on and Baekhyun showed no signs of struggle as he held you up. “See I told you. She is as light as a feather”. That comment made you laugh as you put your head in the crook of his neck. “I wouldn’t go that far Byun,” you stated with a wide smile on your face. 

You looked up at the clock and saw that it was time for them to go to the studio and record with Chanyeol. You hopped off his back and told them that they have to get going up to the 20th floor. Of course you would accompany them to make sure everything was running smoothly. 

A couple minutes later you were making your way to the elevator and by that time you had forgotten all about your last elevator ride. You and Baekhyun were walking together and talking about the upcoming show schedule while Minseok and Chen were behind discussing last night's episode of Come and Hug Me. 

Being the friendly giant he was, Chanyeol welcomed you guys with open arms. You had seen him on a couple of occasions and you definitely knew who he was because who the hell didn’t. 

Chen was the first one up to record his parts while you and the other two sat back on the couch and waited for him to finish. Everything was going normally until you felt someone’s head on your lap. You looked down to see it was Baekhyun. He was getting comfortable and you were absolutely too surprised to do anything about it. Then he decided to take it a step further and grab your hand to put it on his head so you could stroke it. “It helps me sleep,” he said followed by a yawn. Your head awkwardly turned to Xiumin with wide eyes and all he did was shrug his shoulders leaving you as clueless as you felt. But you didn’t push him off or let him know you were uncomfortable because truth be told you weren’t. So you let him sleep as you gently pet his hair. 

Soon after Chen was finished Xiumin was called into the booth. The plan was once Xiumin was done, him and Chen would go back to the dorms to get ready for tonight and meet you and Baekhyun at the restaurant. You thought it was a good plan because it gave them time to get ready and not go out with the stench of sweat. But what about Baekhyun? That was when Chen ratted him out and let you know that in all actuality he wasn’t practicing at all. You noted that and would make sure to bring it up to him later when he wasn’t asleep on your lap. 

20 minutes had passed by and it was a wrap for Xiumin, so as planned him and Chen headed home and it was now Baekhyun’s turn to record. You felt bad that you had to wake him up because he looked so peaceful while sleeping. 

He cleared his throat so there was no signs of the fact that he just took a nap. The moment he started singing you were pulled into a trance that you never wanted to get out of. You always knew Baekhyun’s voice was angelic but the way he sang just had your encaptured. You took a seat next to Chanyeol to hear his voice clearer, you wanted to revel in this moment for as long as humanly possible. Your eyes were glued to his as he sung his heart out and you felt your own beating rapidly. When your eyes met it was as if your heart was being opened to an endless amount of love and warmth. You had looked at him countless times but this time it was different. It felt like something you never felt in your life, not even with Suho. Your eyes remained locked as he continued singing, it wasn’t until Chanyeol stopped the music and let him know he was done that you found herself looking away but Baekhyun didn’t. His eyes were trained on you and you could feel it. 

You remembered that Baekhyun always took a shot of ginger after a recording session so his throat wouldn’t wear out. You had it prepared the moment he stepped out and gave it to him. While you were at it you complimented him on how well he did. Chanyeol just observed the whole scene and couldn’t help but comment on how much of married couple the two of you looked like. That was the second time this week you heard someone associate you in a relationship with Byun Baekhyun and much like the last you blushed and denied it unwillingly. 

You checked the time on your phone and realized it was time to go. “We better get going,” you said to Baekhyun. With a small bow both of you left the studio and made your way out of SM to the restaurant. 

In the van Baekhyun sang his heart out. He was singing along to Chen’s collab with Dynamic Duo. You were very fond of the song as well and from time to time would jump in and sing along with Baekhyun. Everytime you did, Baekhyun’s smile would only grow wider. You noticed and turned to him with an equally as wide smile. 

The ride to the restaurant was fairly brief. You got out to join Chen and Xiumin at the table. Xiumin was already grilling the meat and Chen was getting the shots of soju ready. Just like the night before, except this time around you weren’t absolutely miserable, you were happy. They toasted to your first day and you thanked them for choosing you of all people to be their manager. You miraculously made it through your monologue without crying but it was obvious how emotional you were. The rest of the night was spent laughing and telling embarrassing stories. This time around you stayed sober and didn’t drink. 

It was close to midnight when you suggested that you guys started heading out. Tomorrow they were beginning to film for the MV. The van drove you and the boys back to their dorms. You were gonna call a cab to grab you but Baekhyun suggested he drive you. 

“Baek it’s fine. You should sleep, tomorrow will be busy.” You tried to be convincing as possible but he wasn’t budging. Reluctantly you agreed to let him drive you home knowing it’s the best solution to get him to sleep faster. He pulled up to your building and you thought that was the end of it and he would go home. But as expected you were wrong. 

“Aren’t you gonna invite me up?” He asked just as you were about to leave. 

“Baekhyun…” he knew you were just gonna repeat the things you said earlier so he saved you the hassle. 

“Just for some water then I’ll be on my way. Promise.” You didn’t have it in you to say no to him, especially after all he’s done for you. 

“Then you go home straight after and sleep,” you said with the best strict tone you could muster. 

He parked the car and the pair of you got out and headed to your apartment. You weren’t surprised that it was empty, Sehun probably met a girl earlier that night. 

You invited Baekhyun in and he took a seat on your kitchen counter, unsanitary but normal coming from Baekhyun. You felt his eyes burning holes into the back of his head. There was this feeling in the pit of your stomach, a feeling you thought died when Junmyeon left, but here it was. 

Reaching into the fridge you pulled out a bottle of water and handed it over to him. Instead of grabbing the bottle he opted for your wrist instead. He pulled you toward him and you were now standing between the V of his legs with wides eyes and red cheeks. 

“You didn’t come up for water did you?” You asked the obvious. His lips were caught between his teeth as he shook his head. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know where this was bound to head. His grip on your wrist vanished and was replaced with a soft hand caressing your blushing cheeks. “Baekhyun we can’t do this,” you said trying to repress whatever feeling that was peeking through. 

“Why not I like you and you like me. It’s natural,” he stated in a matter-of-fact tone. 

“It’s not that black and white Baekhyun. This is wrong. No matter what feelings we have we can’t act on it,” you pulled yourself away from him. 

“That’s a bullshit excuse.” To say you were shocked was an understatement. Baekhyun had never been so harsh with you, in fact he has never cussed in front of you. “You are just scared to let me in,” he continued on with his thoughts. 

“What do you know about me and what I’ve been through?” You snapped back at him. 

“I know that you and Suho had a thing going on. I know that the reason you left SM in the first place is because he hurt you. I know more than you think.” 

It scared you that he did know all that because that meant you were vulnerable and prone to being hurt. 

He hopped off from his place on the counter but his gaze never left yours. “So if you are trying to let me down gently find a better excuse.” Just like Junmyeon he was so persistent and in that moment you hated that quality. 

“I’m not trying to let you down. I’m trying to make it easier for the both of us.” You were trying your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you but it was damn near impossible to do that when he was right there staring at you with those eyes that drooped when he frowned. 

“Isn’t it easier if we just admit what we feel and face it head on instead of beating around the bush?” He stepped closer to you and you made no indication of moving away. 

“Baekhyun I’m damaged goods... and everything is still so current. It hasn’t even been a week and this is happening. I need time to process whatever the hell it is I’m feeling.” The last thing you wanted is for Baekhyun to think that he was just some rebound. You wanted to make sure that these feelings were real. 

He nodded in an understanding way. “Take as much time as you need,” he got closer and before you knew it the space between you two was closed and his lips were on yours. Your eyes fluttered shut as his soft pillow lips worked against yours. Naturally you kissed back showing him that you wanted this as much as he did. 

As fast as it started, it stopped an you were left in a daze. His hands were on either side of your cheeks, “I’ll be here when you are ready.” He gave you no time to respond, just like in those cheesy dramas you watched, he left you alone to wonder what the hell just happened.

[byunskjm-blog]

Changes (lll)

Genre: Angst, Fluff, CEO! AU, Idol! AU

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader x Baekhyun

Length: 1.5k

Changes Masterlist

Your voice was weak and tired. The suited man stood up from sitting on the floor. “Finally you’re home. Do you know how long I waited for you?” 

There was no way in hell that this was fake. It all seemed too real to be a lie. “Am i seeing things or are you really here?” Your voice was shaken and the tears were starting to form in your eyes. 

It wasn’t till his cold hands cupped your cheek that you knew this was all real. It may have been because of the alcohol or because you were too weak but you leaned into his touch. It was like you were trying to savor it before you would have to let it go. 

The moment ended after a couple of seconds and you opened the door to let you both in. It was probably a decision you wouldn’t have made if you were sober. 

He was in the living room while you stayed in the kitchen. “What are you doing here?” That was the question you were dying to know the answer to. You thought after what happened earlier you would never see him again, but here he was. 

“I needed to talk to you. I needed to do everything I could possibly do before letting you go.” Even his voice brought you the happiness you thought you had lost. 

“What more is there that you can do?” The question was loaded with the truth. There wasn’t really anything that he could do to fix what had been done. If he had completely abandoned the girl you would be guilt ridden, but you weren’t one for sharing, especially him. The right thing to do was let him go. As much as it pained you to do so, you knew it’s what you needed to do. It was the best for everyone. You just wished that he didn’t have to make this so hard on you. Why did he have to show up and make you more confused than you wanted to be? You were already intoxicated but this was just making it worse. “If you leave her for me then I couldn’t live with myself knowing you have a kid out in the world that you abandoned. But I can’t be your second choice. I deserve more than that. I refuse to be the person you run to when you feel things get too complicated.” 

Although alcohol was in your system you were doing very well for yourself. 

He got up from his seat and made his way into the kitchen where you were. “You’ll never be my second choice. But please understand that I need you in my life more than ever right now. I’m so lost and so confused and I don’t know what the hell I am doing. The only good thing I have going for me right now is you and I’ll be damned if I lose that.” He took a step closer toward you and even though your instincts told you to not let him get too close, you didn’t move from your spot. “I know this is hurting you and what I did is unforgivable.” His hand was now on your warm cheek like how it was earlier. “I am lost without you. I need you to function properly. So please just stay with me.” 

Your forehead was against his and the tears were already falling. In a perfect world maybe you would be happy and not have to deal with something like this, but the world was far from perfect. “Please…” The tears in your eyes continued to cascade down your face as you pleaded with him. “Why are you doing this? Do you like to see me cry and break down?” You managed to choke out between sobs. 

“I’m doing this for us. I know you don’t want to end this and just throw it all away like it never happened. I’m doing this because I love you and I know you love me too,” he said as he wiped the tears off your cheeks. Junmyeon was a very persistent person who didn’t understand the word ‘no’ at all. He didn’t get to be one of the most successful businessmen in Korea by being a pushover. 

“That’s exactly it.” You got out of his hold and moved away from him in fear that if he got close you would give in. “I love you so unbelievably much that I would do anything for you. I did do everything for you. I left my home, my friends, someone who treated me better than anyone ever has, I left it all for you.” Every word you spoke was true and held so much meaning. “But I don’t think you would do the same for me. I fell in love with you within minutes of meeting you and to know that you probably never felt that way with me…” Your lips were trembling as the tears fell. You gathered the strength to look up at him and see his face when you spoke. “It kills me. It hurts more knowing that this pain i’m feeling is coming from someone who I thought would never hurt me.” 

Both of you were in shambles, both of you were suffering. Even if you were to forgive him, Suho would never forgive himself. He will forever live with the fact that he hurt the one person loves more than anyone. Looking at you just made it worse because he was of the cause of your crying and pain. He had done this to you and there was no undoing it. He would live his life knowing that he let best thing to happen to him slip away. There was no fixing what he had done. The wounds were too deep and they were bound to leave scars. It was like trying to piece together broken glass, the cracks would always be there and pieces would be missing. Junmyeon had realize that the best thing he could do for you is let you go. 

Neither of you were talking because what can you say after hearing something like that. “I’m sorry.” Junmyeon spoke while wiping away his tears. 

“I know you are.” No matter how hurt you were, you would never want him to feel the way you did. The pain you were suffering, you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemy, let alone the love of your life. 

This time you were the one who made the bold move of getting closer to him. Much like him you delicately placed your hand on his soft, warm, tear-stained cheek. Your touch was like heaven to him. He could spend forever in your embrace, that’s what he wanted to do. 

Your gaze was on Junmyeon’s, you were looking at him as if the stars possessed his eyes. As cliche as it sounded his eyes were the thing you loved most about him. Whenever you saw them you felt like you were loved and like you were a precious gem in the world. His eyes had an effect on you that could make you feel like you were falling in love with him all over again. No matter what, it would always have that effect on you. It’s why your lips softly touched his. The kiss was filled with the unspoken words that wanted to be said, it was filled with the ‘I loves you’ that weren’t heard. You had shared numerous amount of kisses in your time together but this kiss, this kiss was something different. This kiss was a kiss full of need and want, a kiss with passion, a bittersweet kiss, a kiss that would be remembered as the last. 

To your dismay Junmyeon was the one to pull away. If he had kept going like he wanted to he would have ended up making it worse for both of you. He knew you weren’t in your right state of mind and if something were to happen you would only end up hating him more. “I should go.” 

It was what you had been asking for from the beginning so why was it hurting you more than you thought it would. Reality had sunk in and you moved to open the door for him to leave. No words were exchanged as he stepped over the threshold and out the door. You felt that it was symbolic, him stepping out of the door was like him stepping out of your life. 

You waited till he was down the hall to lock the door. As soon as you did you broke down completely. Your knees could no longer support you and you fell to the cold floor. Was he really gone from your life? You knew it would hurt but you didn’t think it would hurt this much. Your sobs echoed throughout the barren apartment. You could literally feel the pain of your heart cracking, that’s why you placed a hand over it. It would hurt less if you just ripped it out of your chest.

[byunskjm-blog]

Changes ( II )

Genre: Angst, Fluff, CEO! AU, Idol AU

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader x Baekhyun

Length: 2.6k

Changes Masterlist

Baekhyun was an idol under SM and one of the few friends you had made during your time there.

“Don’t you have a schedule today?” A part of your job was not only assisting Suho but also keeping into account the schedules of idols and their activities. 

“You really think I was gonna leave you in the rain? I saw you on my way to the venue and had the car stop so I could get you.” This boy was truly too pure for the world. His concern and care was always with others. It was a feature of his that you absolutely adored. “Why are you walking in the rain anyways?”

You would’ve answered him, but how could you do that without exposing yourself and all you went through today? “Walking helps me think.” The answer was as true as it could get. Walking did help you think it just sucked that it so happened to rain today of all days.

“Well do you have a way home that doesn’t require you catching pneumonia?” 

Sehun was currently in Daegu for some photo exhibit, all your friends were in Busan, and well the only other person you could think of was not an option anymore. Your head was facing the floor as you shook your head.

“Well listen i’m gonna be late to this photo shoot and if I am Xiumin and Chen will have my head. So why don’t you just come with me and when it’s over i’ll take you home.”

It probably wasn’t the best plan but you knew Baekhyun wouldn’t let you walk home in this weather and you couldn’t risk making him late, so you agreed.

Seeing you nod your head created a wide smile on his face. Quickly he ran back to the parked van with your hand still in his. Now that you think of it, your hand never left his grasp since he first grabbed it.

The car was heated and you have never been more grateful in your life. Your hair and clothes were drenched from the rain and you still had the box of your things. It wasn’t like Baekhyun didn’t notice it, he chose not to ask about it because the timing just wasn’t right.

After a 15 minute drive you reached the location that CBX would be doing their photo shoot at.

You were willing to sit in the car till he was finished but Baekhyun had a different idea. After he got out of the car he went around to your side and opened the door. You looked up at him to see him holding his hand out for you to hold on to. You weren’t gonna ignore him, so you took it and got out of the car.

The rain was still falling and there was no sign that it was letting up anytime soon. Wasting no time you made your way into the studio where Xiumin and Chen were already starting their solo shoots. As soon as Baekhyun was spotted they hurried him to get ready. You were left alone not knowing what the hell to do or where the hell to go.

Eventually someone came out and led you to where Baekhyun was. You entered the dressing room to see people frantically rushing to get him ready for the shoot. From the mirror he could see you arrived and the smile on his face lit up. 

“So i checked with the staff they said it was ok to stay here while I go and do my shoot.” He was talking to you while looking through the mirror. You nodded and moved to sit down on the couch that was available in the room.

After his hair and makeup was done he got up and handed you his hoodie that he was wearing on his way over here. You looked up with him with a confused expression. 

“Your clothes are drenched and if you stay in them any longer you’ll catch a cold and that’s the last thing anyone wants.” His kindness was overwhelming and you sure as hell didn’t know what you did to deserve it. “Wear this and the costume designer will loan you some pants to wear.”

Once again you didn’t find the ability to say no to him, you nodded and accepted the hoodie. Soon after a lady came to you with leggings. You went into a bathroom to change into the clothes they gave you. The leggings were a good fit and Baeks hoodie was a bit too big on you but you liked the warmth and comfort it provided you.

By the time you came back to the room Baekhyun was gone. There was a note that read, ‘Get some rest’. You smiled at it because you loved the sincerity it held. You had been listening to him all day so why stop now? You laid down on the couch in an attempt to sleep. It helped that his hoodie smelled like him because it gave you a sense of security. You found it easier to sleep that way.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad dream that you had but you did see someone you didn’t want to in it. Slowly but surely you woke up to see Baekhyun crouched down in front of you giving you the gentlest of shakes to let you know it was time. You didn’t know how long you were asleep for but it definitely helped.

His smile was beaming which couldn’t help but affect yours. “Listen I know I said i’d take you home after this but the boys want to go out to eat and asked you to come with.”. Going with the theme of today which was not saying no to him, you agreed. Besides you were starving and it was nice to eat with people who would bring up your mood. 

Everyone said their thanks to the staff including you and they went on their way. You took the same car you came in and started the drive to the restaurant. 

You knew how much Baekhyun hated silence, so to find him singing one of their new songs was no surprise to you. “Do you like it?” His gaze was fixed on yours. 

You were quite confused because you didn’t know what he was asking about. Your eyebrows furrowed showing that you were lost. 

“The song. Do you like it?”

“Of course i like it.” That was probably one of the most honest things to come out of your mouth today. 

“Chanyeol wrote it for us, it’s for the OST we are working on. It’s top secret.” He put a finger to his lips indicating that you needed to keep quiet about what you heard. 

It all made sense as to why the song was so good. Park Chanyeol had produced it. The people singing it were just an added bonus. 

You laughed at the fact that Baekhyun would even think that you would leak anything. Even though you knew it was a joke, you hoped that him and the other boys trusted you enough to speak freely around you. 

It was a short drive. Of course it would be somewhat empty, they weren’t gonna bring one of the nations most precious idols to a full restaurant so they could be bombarded by fans. 

You all piled into the small family owned business and ordered the food. Meat was an obvious choice for all 4 of you. You ordered a couple other side dishes to go with it and some alcohol which you were more thankful for than the rest. 

While you waited for your food to come, Xiumin and Chen initiated small talk, asking how you ended up at the shoot in the first place. You began talking about how you were walking in the rain when Baekhyun saw you and picked you up. It seemed unbelievable to them.

“Wait so you're telling me, Byun Baekhyun did something from the kindness of his heart?” Xiumin questioned with a smile on his face showing he was on the brink of laughter. 

You didn’t know what was so funny. Did they have an inside joke you didn’t know about? You turned your head to Baekhyun who was sitting beside you. Baekhyun kicked the shin that belonged Xiumin who was about to laugh at him. 

“Yah i can be nice. I am always nice for a matter of fact.” He was being very defensive which only made the other two want to laugh even more. 

“You literally said you were gonna push Xiumin onto the train tracks when we were in Japan.” Chen brought up the memory from the time they filmed their reality show. 

You couldn’t help but laugh at hearing something like that. Who knew under all that kindness laid a very aggressive person? 

“He deserved it. You saw it yourself, he was going to kill me.” Baekhyun said giving a response to the stone that was thrown his way. 

“Yeah because you kept getting in my picture brat.” Xiumin was now the one defending himself from the slander. 

Baekhyun chuckled at that memory of Xiumin getting so mad at him that he was on the verge of attacking him. 

“Well I may not be nice to you but to everyone else I am an angel. Aren’t I?” His attention along with the other 2 boys were on you. 

You just laughed and nodded your head in agreement. “He is just an absolute delight,” your tone was semi-sarcastic. 

Unfortunately the conversation was cut short when the waitress approached them with the food they ordered. Xiumin was going to grill the meat but you insisted you do it for them. It was the least you could do to repay them for the graciousness they showed you today. You were used to grilling for your friends back home since they were usually either too lazy or too drunk. 

Chen was pouring you all drinks while Baekhyun handed out some plates. After the meat was cut all three boys eyes were on you as they waited for you to raise your glass with them and do a toast. 

The only thing you could think of was, “To new beginnings.” 

Not questioning it they repeated after and downed the liquor in one shot. Baekhyun was drinking water because he really wasn’t a person who could handle his alcohol well. It was opposite of Xiumin who was known to drink often and have a pretty high tolerance. You and Chen were at the same level, you weren’t pros like Xiumin but you could handle your alcohol better than Baekhyun. 

The attention was on eating instead of talking but Baekhyun being the person he was couldn’t stand silence. He talked the whole time no matter if he was eating or not. “We should do this more,” Baekhyun said with his mouth full of meat and lettuce. 

“I’m pretty sure she has a life and a boyfriend or something. She can’t spend her time with us.” Chen said in response to Baekhyun. 

When the word ‘boyfriend’ slipped past his lips you froze and your whole body became tense. 

“Am i right?” Chen asked with sincerity. 

“A-actually I don’t have a boyfriend and as of today my schedule will become pretty open.” Your eyes were looking down at your lap as you spoke. 

“Wait don’t you work for Junmyeon? How can your schedule be open?” Baekhyun asked in genuine confusion.

All you had to do was give them a look for them to understand the situation. 

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking,” Xiumin spoke up. 

You shook your head letting him know that you didn’t mind. “All good things come to an end eventually. But like I said, new beginnings.” You had found the courage to say all that which was a big step. 

“So profound,” Chen spoke in awe of what you said. You all broke into a fit of laughter because of that. 

“Well now you have no excuse to say no when we invite you out,” Baekhyun said and the rest agreed with him. 

You just laughed and took another shot. You continued eating some more until your stomachs were full. By this time you felt the effects of alcohol kick in. Chen was nearly about to pass out and as expected Xiumin was pretty close to sober maybe just a bit tipsy. 

Chen was whining about wanting to sleep already, so Xiumin had no other choice but to take him back to the dorms. Baekhyun told him it was ok to go and that he would pay for the bill and take you home.

 After he covered the tab he went to check to see if you were ready to go but to his dismay you were crying. He was shocked and questioning why the sudden mood change. 

In order to look at you properly he kneeled before you and lifted your chin so he could see your face. Your eyes were getting red and the tears were streaming down your face like a waterfall. “What’s wrong?” His voice was soft and gentle and it let you know that it was ok to let him in. 

“Everything is wrong. I lost so much today and I don’t know if I will ever recover from it.” You didn’t dare break eye contact with him because within those eyes you felt a warmth and reassurance you needed. 

“You will. Trust me, right now is just the hard part, but once it passes everything will be so much easier. You just have to pull through and weather the storm.” 

The smile on his face did what you thought was impossible in that moment, it made you smile. 

“Now stop crying. It isn’t a good look on you.” Even in a time like this he could still joke, but you were thankful for it. You didn’t want to be treated differently because of something like this. 

Both of you laughed and you lightly pushed him in retaliation for his remark. You both got up and made your way out. A side effect of alcohol for you was dizziness, so Baekhyun took hold of your hand and led the way to the car. You were grateful for that because if not you probably would have fallen face first. 

As promised Baekhyun took you home. It was later than expected, 3 am to be exact. With the box of your stuff and wet clothes in your hand you said your goodbyes. 

“Thank you for today. It helped more than you think.” 

He flashed his wide, signature rectangle smile toward you, “You better not ignore my calls or texts.” 

You giggled at how persistent he was, “I won’t, don’t worry.”

You were about to turn and walk away when you realized you had his hoodie on. “What about your hoodie?” You asked not knowing what to do because you couldn’t take it off now because there was nothing under besides your bra. 

“Hold onto it. It gives me an excuse to see you again.” That was all he said before giving her a wink and driving off. 

You were taken aback at how shameless he was. You stood there for a couple more seconds and let out a long, exasperated sigh. After everything that happened today that sigh was well deserved. 

You stumbled your way to the elevator still a little tipsy from the liquor. The elevator ride seemed longer than usual and so did the walk to the front door. But when you got there you were sure you had lost your mind. Was your mind playing some sick trick on you? Was this a hallucination? Was this another side effect from the alcohol or were you really seeing him? “Suho?”

[byunskjm-blog]

Changes Masterlist

He burned you beyond recovery. He drove you into the arms of another. But he still wanted you, he always would.

One Two Three Four Five Six

[byunskjm-blog]

Changes ( I )

Genre: Angst, Fluff, CEO! AU, Idol! AU

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader x Baekhyun

Length: 2.5k

Changes Masterlist

It was like your whole world had crumbled around you. Hearing those words opened your eyes to how naive and stupid you were to actually believe a single word he said to you. It was supposed to be a private conversation between the two of them but it was impossible to hear anything other than what they were saying.

If you stayed another second you would risk your cries being heard. So instead you got up from your desk and began speed walking towards the nearest restroom. When you were in a stall you began throwing up the breakfast you had. Quite literally you were sick to your stomach and you were sure anyone else in your situation would be the same way if they heard what you did. You flushed down the bile, got up, and made your way to the granite sink. All thoughts had abandoned your mind and you were left absolutely clueless as you cleaned herself up. In this moment, this bathroom was the safest place in your life, if you left it would stir up a storm that you did not want. You reached for your phone to call someone to get you but you realized you left it at your desk with the rest of your belongings. It was guaranteed that if you went back there he would’ve noticed you left. It would be so easy to just leave without a word and disappear. Then he wouldn’t have to feel guilty for what he would do to you in the future and you would have time to mend your heart. You were pulled from your thoughts when a pack of women piled into the restroom to fix their makeup and use it. If you continued to just stand there you would make a fool of yourself, so you mustered up enough strength to return to your desk and act like everything was fine, at least for today.

By this time the woman had left his office and you could feel his gaze fixated on you. Usually you would feel butterflies in your stomach, but that was replaced with sickness. You refused to meet his eyes which he found bizarre. Your thoughts have been scattered like a jigsaw puzzle and you were trying your best to put it together but the pieces just didn’t seem to fit. Just when you were getting somewhere with it you were pulled from your thoughts when you heard the phone ring.

Your voice was shaky as you did the greeting you were trained to say. He didn’t even have to speak for you to know exactly who it was. “Can I see you in my office?” His tone was strictly professional, the kind of voice he used when on business calls with stockholders and big time artists. It’s not like you could say no to him, he was your boss after all.

You put the phone back and stood up from your seat tugging on the hem of your skirt to pull it down a bit. It was weird because he had seen you without anything on and you never minded it before, but now you felt humiliated when showing even the tiniest sliver of skin. You feared that it would make you more vulnerable than you already were.

It was only a few steps to his office but for some reason it took forever to reach it. You pushed through the big glass door that led to him in his office chair leaning on his desk waiting for you to take a seat. When you did you avoided his gaze at all costs. “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” He could always read you, that’s one of the reasons why you fell for him in the first place. But was he really questioning why you were upset? You wanted to say it was because he was having some woman’s child and that you felt utterly betrayed and heartbroken. But what you wanted to say and what you did say was totally different.

“I’m fine.” Junmyeon knew women well enough to know that ‘I’m fine’ screamed something far from it. He carded a hand through his raven hair and motioned to stand right in front of you to get a better look. He leaned against his oak wood desk with his arms crossed over his chest and gave you a look that would under any other circumstance make you crack and spill all your secrets, but this was different. No look he gave you could change how you felt. Even with him right in front of you, you still could not bring yourself to face him.

It wasn’t until he brought your chin between his pointer finger and thumb and lifted your head that you finally looked into his eyes. You were searching for something within them, something that would reassure you that everything would be ok and that you could trust him. But you didn’t find what you were looking for. “Now i’ll ask again. What’s wrong?” His voice kept the stern tone.

“I think you know very well what’s wrong Junmyeon.” Unlike his, your voice cracked just like your heart. Why was he playing dumb? He knew that you knew yet it felt like he wanted to hear you say what was making your heart break.

“So you heard.” His hand once again brushed through his hair as the stress rolled of his shoulders.

“Of course I heard. If you’re going to have a conversation with someone be sure to close the door fully.” You were now letting him have it. You had been concealing your pain ever since you heard.

“You weren’t meant to hear that.�� Somehow he was trying to flip this on you and make you seem like you had been the one who messed up.

“It’s better i hear it now. So i don’t continue to look stupid.” You were grateful in some twisted way that you heard what you did. If you hadn’t you would continue to love someone who probably never loved you to begin with.

It was for the best that your heart be broken now so that you would have time to fix it and move on. Silence encapsulated the room, too scared to speak, scared that if you continued, a fight would break out and cause an unwanted scene. “She’s 2 months…” you were now piecing it all together. “Correct me if i’m wrong but we’ve been together for about 2 months.” You lifted your head to face him when you confronted him. The roles were reversed and he was the one who couldn’t look at you. “So when was it?” You were being curt. All you wanted was answers, no matter how much it hurt to hear.

“You were in Busan. It was after…” He was unable to finish his sentence but you knew exactly where it was leading.

You nodded in understanding. “So I leave for 2 weeks to mourn my dead mother and you knock someone up? Yup sounds about right.” You scoffed at how surreal this all sounded.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He felt offended by your words.

“It means that you never cared from the start and all this was to you was a good fuck.” Your eyes were locked with his as you spoke every word of that sentence.

Junmyeon couldn’t believe a word he was hearing. “Is that what you honestly think? That I have never cared?”

You looked away when he asked you those questions because a tiny part of you did think he cared but that part was being crushed by a part that told you he didn’t.

“If I never cared then why would I go out of my way to make this relationship work? I could get a good fuck anywhere but with you I wanted more than that. And it hurts to know you think that low of me.”

Were you actually hearing this? It was quite amazing how Kim Junmyeon could turn any situation into one where he is the victim. “What am I supposed to think of you? You literally got some girl pregnant and expect me not to feel hurt or betrayed. You don’t get to play victim this time.”

Both of you were reaching your breaking points, both hurt, and both wish this had never happened. “We weren’t even together at the time. You were in Busan and I was here, missing you.”

That’s when you lost all control you had left. “Do you even hear yourself? You missed me so much to the point where you put your dick in the nearest warm body. And you are totally right we weren’t together so I have no right to be mad or upset because were we ever really together?” You got up from the chair with tears spilling from yours eyes. You had to get out of here now, you felt like you were being suffocated. You didn’t want to hear the half assed excuse he was about to come up with, all you wanted was to leave.

With your hand on the handle you stopped when you heard his voice, “If you walk out now, you walk out on us, on everything we’ve been through.”

You let out a shaky breath at his words. “What do you want me to do Junmyeon? You want me to stick around and play house with you and your kid? Want me to live in this pretend world where you didn’t betray my trust?”

He was silent. He didn’t want any of that. All he wanted was you.

“I can’t do that to myself. I won’t do that to myself. I have more self respect than you think.” And with that you walked out of there finally finding the ability to breathe again.

Today was the last day you would be anywhere near that office or him. You were leaving and not looking back. You came back from the supply closet with a box to put all your belongings in. In these couple months you made this desk like a second home, keeping snacks, photos, cute notes, memories. But you wanted nothing to do with those memories. You trashed everything you didn’t need like dumb sticky notes from Junmyeon that he’d leave for you in the morning, or his favorite treats that you kept when he got hungry. All you were left with in the end was a few photos and some other nick nacks.

You realized you would have to hand in your letter of resignation to him. So you sat down and filled out the form and prepared for the last time you had to see him. When you finished it you made sure all your things were in order so that you could leave right after. You knocked before walking in making sure you kept your professionalism. He looked very different from the last hour you saw him. His tie was loosened and he was slouched in his chair. No guilt came to you, you wanted to get this over with as quick as possible.

You placed the document on his desk and when he went to read it his eyes widened. “Why are you doing this to me? Can’t you see i'm hurting too. Now you want to leave me.” The hurt in his voice was evident.

“I don’t want to do anything. It’s about what I need to do. I have to leave because seeing you will only hurt me more. And as cliche as it sounds if you truly did care then you would let me go.” You were definitely being more civil with him this time around.

“If that’s what you need to do then I don’t have any right to stop you.”

You thought that was the end of it so you turned to leave but before you could even take a step he spoke again. “But i don’t think i could ever truly let you go.”

Your whole body was telling you to say something but your mouth came up empty with no words being spoken. Even though your mouth was dry your eyes definitely weren’t. Was there any situation where it would be ok for you to stay with him? All signs pointed to catastrophe and heartbreak. But how could you leave him without feeling anything? How could you ever recover from the damage that has been done? He had burned you beyond recovery.

Wiping away a tear that had fallen in your moments of weakness, you gathered your remaining strength and walked out of that office with your head held high. It took all the willpower you had to not look back to see if he had been in as much pain as you were in. All you did was grab that cardboard box and make your way to the elevator.

Your mind was in a whole other universe which is what caused you to bump into someone. Immediately you apologized not looking at the person who was on the receiving end of your recklessness. “It’s ok.” It was the voice that caught your attention. That voice. It wasn’t necessary to see the face to know the owner of that voice. It was the same woman who was the cause of your heartache. The woman recognized you as well and took this opportunity to ask you if you had seen her phone in Junmyeon’s office. Even with the cardboard box in hand and tears on the edge the lady didn’t grasp the fact that you were no longer working there. Regardless you still complied and answered her question honestly. It wasn’t long after that you went your separate ways. That sudden encounter didn’t do anything but add more worries and thoughts.

It seemed as though the universe really did hate you because when you stepped out of the building you were greeted with a downpour of rain. Obviously you weren’t expecting this kind of weather so you didn’t have a jacket or umbrella on hand. In all honesty your health and well being wasn’t your concern right now, so you started out on your trek home. You could’ve taken the bus home to be faster and get out of the rain but you didn’t. You just kept walking along a sidewalk that was next to one of the busiest roads in Seoul.

Your thoughts took over once again and the outside world became mute. When a hand wrapped around your wrist you went into panic mode. Were you being kidnapped? The mystery person started running with his hand still attached to yours. You had no other choice but to run with him. He took a sharp right and came to a stop. The rain was no longer soaking you. You turned to see who the assailant was. At first you saw a dark haired man with a black hoodie and black face mask. It wasn’t until he took both pieces off that you could finally breathe right again. He could tell how relieved you were to see his face which only made him smile. “Baekhyun what are you doing here?”

[byunskjm-blog]

Masterlist

☾ - Angst

★ - Smut

♡  - Fluff

Minseok

Junmyeon

Changes  ☾ ★  ♡

He burned you beyond recovery. He drove you into the arms of another. But he still wanted you, he always would.

One Two Three Four Five Six

Try Again  II  ☾

Nothing will be the same, the cut was too deep. You lost a child and he lost you, but love conquers all... at least that’s what he hopes.

Yixing

Baekhyun

Changes  ☾ ★  ♡

He burned you beyond recovery. He drove you into the arms of another. But he still wanted you, he always would.

One Two Three Four Five Six

Dream  ☾ ★  ♡

His voice is what captivated her but will he be able to keep her?

Jongdae

Chanyeol

Kyungsoo

Jongin

Sehun