c9ptain
c9ptain
holding on to me
318 posts
independent & private portrayal of JACKIE TAYLOR from yellowjackets. adored by august (25+, they/them). revamped 2/2025. minors dni. triggering content will occur. not spoiler free, but spoilers will be tagged.
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c9ptain · 2 months ago
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I'LL FOLLOW YOU DOWN 'TILL THE SOUND OF MY VOICE WILL HAUNT YOU.
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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likehaunting101 -> c9ptain
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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PROMPTS FOR REUNITING LOVERS *  assorted dialogue for my fav scenario ever where two lovers have been apart for a while and finally see each other again, adjust as necessary
i never thought i'd ever see you again.
so many nights i have spent tossing and turning, dreaming of the day i see you again.
you're a sight for sore eyes.
i missed your hugs.
i never should have left your side, not for a second.
we were apart for far too long.
i cannot be away from you ever again.
kiss me again.
where have you been? i've been searching for you!
these are happy tears, i promise.
let me take this opportunity to remind you how deeply i love you.
just look at me for a while. let me remember your eyes.
seeing you again just reminds me how much i love you.
quick, while no one's looking - let's find a place where we can be alone.
sleeping without you has been impossible.
don't let me leave you ever again.
i need you to promise me we'll never be apart ever again.
please forgive me for crying, but i never thought i'd ever see you again.
you're just as beautiful as i remember.
let me get a good look at you.
when i went looking for you, i couldn't find you.
never leave me again.
i never should have let you go.
kiss me a while.
you were worth waiting for.
we were meant to be together.
i searched and searched and i couldn't find you.
i'm looking forward to some alone time with you.
please don't cry. i'm right here.
will you hug me again?
hug me and never let go.
i missed the taste of your kiss.
please touch me.
i need you close to me at all times.
that was far too long to be apart from you.
i can't sleep without you.
you are the most beautiful sight i have ever seen.
we're going to need a lot of time to catch up.
i hate when you leave.
they told me you were searching for me.
this was worth the wait.
am i dreaming, or are you really in front of me?
[name]? is that really you?
be with me tonight.
we have been fighting all day to reach you.
they said you stayed behind to wait for me.
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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do you ever FEEL like -- 
independent & private, mutuals only, MULTIMUSE featuring muses from yellowjackets & muses rehabilitated from their own canons to be a part of yellowjackets. awoken by august (25+, they/them). minors DNI. triggering themes including eating disorders, cannibalism, and gore will be present on this blog. CARRD.
-- you're LOSING your MIND?
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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Jackie Taylor in Yellowjackets ⏤ S1E01 Pilot
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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do you ever FEEL like -- 
independent & private, mutuals only, MULTIMUSE featuring muses from yellowjackets & muses rehabilitated from their own canons to be a part of yellowjackets. awoken by august (25+, they/them). minors DNI. triggering themes including eating disorders, cannibalism, and gore will be present on this blog. CARRD.
-- you're LOSING your MIND?
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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𝜗𝜚 ⠀𝗕𝗬 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗙 𝗠𝗬 𝗧𝗛𝗨𝗠𝗕   ﹔   various  sentence  starters(   general/platonic/romantic/antagonistic/etc   )  from   THE INVITATION (   2022   )   .  please   ,   like   or   reblog   if   you   plan   on   using   .   don’t   claim   as   your   own   .   content   warning   :  mention of death , murder , etc.
you  must  eat  something.
you  must  be  terribly  weak  by  now.
I  won't  do  it  anymore.
everyone  is  most  concerned  about  your  behaviour.
you  know  how  hard  it  is  out  here.
he's  family,  and  I  don't  have  any.
leopards  don't  usually  change  their  spots.
scandals  aren't  what  they  used  to  be.
I  can't  imagine  what  you've  gone  through.
you  just  have  to  tolerate  my  terrible  sense  of  humour  for  a  few  days.
you  definitely  must  be  on  your  best  behaviour.
if  we  don't  help  each  other  out,  who  will,  right?
I  don't  care  whose  fault  it  was.  just  get  rid  of  it.
you're  most  welcome  to  venture  anywhere  within  the  estate.
are  those  all  real?
I  can  assure  you  everything  is  authentic.
the  master  is  a  great  supporter  of�� the  arts.
the  mirror  broke  last  week  but  we've  ordered  a  new  one.
I  know  the  pain  of  losing  someone  never  quite  leaves  you.
next  thing  you  know,  you'll  be  posing  for  nude  portraits.
did  you  overdo  it  on  the  bubbly  again?
it's  not  safe  in  the  dark.
what  are  they  doing  down  there?
please,  go  back  to  bed.
it  truly  means  more  to  us  than  you  can  ever  know.
so  thrilled  to  have  you  join  us.
it's  customary  that  I  have  the  first  dance.
I  can't  shake  the  feeling  that  everyone  is  staring  at  me.
you  even  make  jealousy  look  radiant.
even  a  life  of  indulgence  has  its  drawbacks.
if  you  like,  I  could  stay  with  you  till  you  fall  asleep.
i'm  tired  of  this  facade  and  constantly  keeping  up  appearances.
I  want  someone  to  see  me  for  who  I  truly  am.
how  well  can  you  know  someone  if  you  don't  know  their  past?
I  think  you  should  take  people  as  they  are,  you  know?
when  I  saw  you  packing  your  things,  that  scared  me.
please,  don't  run  away.
i'm  so  glad  that  we  can  finally  be  honest  with  each  other.
if  you'll  indulge  me  for  one  more  moment.
my  love,  whatever  is  the  matter?
I  thought  we  agreed  that  we  were  done  with  this  charade.
we  are  now  free  to  be  our  true  selves.
we'll  soon  be  just  like  sisters.
it  was  a  gallant  attempt.  I'll  give  you  that.
you  think  you  can  change  thousands  of  years,  just  like  that?
I  killed  him.  it's  over.
it  was  just  a  flesh  wound.
you  don't  tell  me  what  to  do  anymore.
I  would  rather  die  than  be  a  part  of  this.
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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Emily Dickinson, from her poem titled "1188," featured in The Emergency Poet
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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HOW COULD IT NOT HAVE BEEN ME ? AFTER EVERYTHING ? WHEN I WAS THE ONE WILLING TO DO WHAT IT TOOK TO KEEP US ALL FED ?
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#eatbitch -- an independent & private portrayal of S.HAUNA SADECKI née S.HIPMAN , born of yellowjackets canon . butchered by phoebe . do not interact if you are younger than 21 . ©
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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oblivion remake downloaded onto my xbox. bye forever guys
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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i think maybe there are TWO VERSIONS of REALITY.
independent & private, mutuals only, portrayal of MARIANA SOFIA IBARRA from showtime's yellowjackets. being decoy with august (25+, they/them). minors DNI. not spoiler free. headcanon based & canon divergent. RULES.
most of the time, THE BAD ONE is just hiding -- or WAITING.
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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i need you to know that adult timeline jackie, if she survived, as a wife... she's making you go on hikes. she's making you try homemade ginger wheatgrass turmeric whatever whatever shots and drinks. she's gonna try hot yoga, she's gonna try crossfit, she's gonna try whatever exercise tik tok trend is going on and will also try to drag you with her. activities are her LOVE LANGUAGE!!!!
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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she was convinced that she would be alone. the wilderness was silent to a point of unease -- or, at least, it would be if jackie truly paid attention to it. but all she could hear was the thundering in her ears, her own quick inhales and exhales. she almost JUMPED at the feeling of the blanket, her eyes wide and wet and sad and tired. there used to be such a luster to jackie tyler, a shine and a glimmer that made her almost look... ethereal. nowadays? she felt like a dull rock under ten feet of earth. and, she supposed, she acted like one too... if shauna was right about everything. which, like -- WAS she? the other girls listened and watched and let it all happen. for fuck's sake, mari of all people encouraged her to leave!
"i -- like... are we experiencing a different FUCKING reality? are these the same people that got fucked up on mushroom soup and tried to ATTACK travis? lottie pushed me into a CLOSET. she said --" that jackie didn't matter anymore. with every passing second... well, jackie felt like maybe she was right. her bottom lip was trembling and she was doing everything that she could to try and calm down, to not let herself look as weak as she's been accused of. keep it in, push it down. follow her mother's advice. don't let people see you cry and don't let them see you falter -- keep your head held HIGH even if you felt like you wanted to fucking die. she would try that now. god knew that honesty wasn't doing her any fucking good out here.
"careful, nancy. you might get exiled just like me if the others catch on," she mumbled with a weak smile, leaning into the touch more eagerly than she wanted to. she just felt so... small. and it was nice to have someone who was willing to tell her that she wasn't -- that she wasn't fucking CRAZY and that this all was actually as fucked up as it seemed. "like -- i'm sorry but... did shauna hit her head on the plane when we crashed or something? like... you fuck MY boyfriend behind MY back and get knocked up like some soap opera and I'M the one who sucks? get a fucking GRIP!"
but the moment the words left her, she could feel the anger slowly beginning to dissolve. she was angry, of course she was. and she was going to be mad for... well, she wasn't sure. but jackie also knew one thing: she couldn't stay mad forever. and she wasn't very good at holding a grudge. as stupid and naive as it was, she really DID want everyone to get along. and she loved shauna... even after everything. if shauna were to walk outside right now and apologize for what she said, jackie knew that she would forgive her... even if she shouldn't. "what's worse is... nancy, i don't -- i don't even..." i don't even love jeff. i don't even LIKE jeff! she had wanted to say it to shauna, maybe to be mean. but she didn't because she couldn't because she was jackie taylor and she WAS weak and she WAS tragic and even though she was being cut so, SO deeply... she just couldn't cut back.
"i'm not perfect. i -- i never claimed to BE perfect. i just... i thought shauna loved me too. and i didn't think she did things because i told her to or because i wanted her to... i never would've done ANY of those things if she just TOLD me." a beat. she was ranting. and what good would it do her? finally, she let out a long sigh. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry, nance... you shouldn't be out here. i'm the one they don't want around."
the fight between jackie & shauna was awful . far too personal & vulnerable to be happening in front of a crowded room , bearing witness felt wrong on several levels . even worse was the heavy silence that came after , the egging on of the other girls . it's the wolf attack all over again , & everyone wants a bite . if things were normal , nancy would have chewed out the others without missing a beat . she had no problem interjecting back in wiskayok ---- she'd always toed the line between a normal teenager and something a bit more mature , modeling a vague sort of authority ( whether justified or not ) that tended to make people want to listen to her . out here , that means nothing . how easily these girls turn on each other ---- on their captain ! if they're willing to cast her out so easily , what the fuck would they do to nancy , an outsider ?
jackie closes the door behind her & unbidden , barb's face pops into nancy's mind . the last time she saw her , looking utterly betrayed & hurt that nancy had chosen a boy over her . that very same devastation was painted across jackie's face , and nancy isn't willing to let history repeat itself . she's on her feet before the door even closes , snatching up her blankets & extra covers to follow after the other . ' you're all fucking jerks , ' she mumbles under her breath as she leaves , slamming the cabin door emphatically behind her .
wrapping a blanket around jackie's shoulders & sitting beside her was natural . the comforting came less naturally , since nancy hasn't really let anyone close since barb's disappearance . honestly she's never really been comfortable with tears and vulnerability anyway , but whatever discomfort she feels is shoved aside . there's more pressing matters to attend to . her heart clenches at jackie's earnest question , the pain that reflects in doe hazel eyes .
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' you don't have to apologize to me , ' nancy reassures her , voice soft . ' or anyone , actually . jackie .... ' a soft sigh is let out as nancy weighs her words . her unfiltered thoughts have nothing remotely kind to say about shauna or the other girls , & she knows voicing them will only make jackie shut her out more . ' listen . you're not a bad friend , and you're not a bad person . you're not broken , either . i promise . we're just in a shitty situation . ' lately it's felt like they're the only two with their feet on the ground , surrounded by girls who are surrendering their common sense to the fucking trees . it's enough to drive anyone to the brink .
for the time being , nancy keeps her opinions to herself , knowing she won't be able to keep the disdain out of her tone while speaking about shauna . instead she wraps a slender arm around jackie's shoulders , the gesture a bit awkward but a sincere offer of comfort nonetheless . it's obvious nancy isn't particularly affectionate , but in this moment she's helpless to offer anything else . ' you didn't deserve that , jackie . you're a good person , and probably the one i trust the most out here . '
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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Make Me Choose | @vespulaqueen asked Nancy Wheeler or Jackie Taylor
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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she wanted to laugh, to smile at a jab that van threw her way just like old times. but even with the realizations and the enlightenments regarding their current situation... she couldn't bring herself to truly enjoy the statement.
"i never. SERIOUSLY." she couldn't be more serious about it if she tried -- jackie was a lot of things. a coward, a princess, maybe even a ditz sometimes. but she would never treat van the way she'd been accused of due to her mother's -- what? her CRUELTY? her overprotective nature? her BIAS and prejudice? jackie shifted her weight from one foot to the other, still uneasy and nervous.
"i mean -- now i guess we're gonna keep trying to find a way home and not kill each other, right?" she asked with a weak laugh, arms swinging gently at her sides. "and maybe... fuck, i don't know. maybe now we could actually, like, be friends again? or... something? i just -- i MISSED you, van." words she hadn't been able to say out loud to the other, ones that only existed in her mind and in her aching heart. it all felt so stupid now, so INANE and small compared to their current problems.
"i also have been tasked to get some buckets of water... if you wanna, like, come help. or just... walk and supervise. protect me from the wilderness and stuff."
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van smiles wryly. trust jackie to be an optimist about it — casually occupying some weird, alternate universe where their friendship makes sense. even back when they were kids, there was always this very real fear of being left behind. marriage. motherhood. whatever came after.
no matter what they did, no matter how many times they promised to be best friends forever, the end was a foregone conclusion.
jackie would go places they couldn't follow.
" c'mon, jax. that's bull. you still spend, like, half your life bothering me. " it's supposed to be a joke but it lands flat — occupying a weird, uncomfortable space between accusation and admission.
" you seriously never ... ? " never said you hated me. never shut the door and left me out in the cold. it'd be easier if she had. they're not sure what to do with this new reality they're living in, where jackie taylor is a human being as opposed to a caricature of their deepest anxieties made real.
" fuck, " van runs a hand through their hair and sighs. " what the fuck are we gonna do now? "
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c9ptain · 3 months ago
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"i'm not angry, i'm just scared." @travis-martinez
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scared. that was something jackie could connect with more than anything. it was all she felt nowadays, all she WAS. travis' father himself told her that she needed to guide, that she had INFLUENCE. could he see just how wrong he was now? could he see how pathetic she was -- unable to lead, unable to help? USELESS? her expression softened as she looked at travis, lips drawing into a small frown as a hand moved up to rub the back of her neck. "i mean -- if you WEREN'T scared... i would probably think you're a crazy person," she admitted with a weak chuckle, her need to help finally outweighing her need to cry and complain. she moved, taking a seat on the attic floor and patting the space beside her.
"have you told nat that? because, like, i think she might think you're sooo mad and pissed and want her dead or something." a shrug -- jackie wasn't the most observant person in the world (which was OBVIOUS considering everything she's read in her best friend's fucking diary)... but she HAD observed travis and nat. and she was jealous. jealous of their kinship, their relationship. nat was right when she told jackie that -- ever since they landed here, jackie has felt so deeply ALONE. "nobody blames you for being scared. we're all scared. but... isolating yourself with all that fear? that's not cool -- it won't HELP." and at this point, she wasn't sure if she was talking more to travis or HERSELF.
"you're stuck with us. and we're stuck with you. just... tell us how we can help. and maybe tell NAT too. she's better than all of us combined."
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