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hate it when you go outside and Society is happening :/

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not once did it cross my mind that gru from despicable me was Russian i just thought he was fucked up

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I have a bath bomb from lush but no tub so I guess I’ll just have to eat it

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The SJWs have cut holes in all my spoons. How will I eat soup now

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when u go to pick up the vase u saw on craigslist but when u get there it’s actually two people facing each other

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destroy the idea. destroy all ideas. end all cognitive processes to reach perfect tranquility

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ah yes they call me “No Queue” Jones because I post everything I reblog at once with no breaks in between and then vanish into the night for extended periods of inactivity

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someone: i love you

me internally: prove it prove it prove it prove it prove it prove it

also me internally: please dont love me i dont want to hurt you this is terrifying please dont love me

yet also me internally: good, everyone should love me. get on your fucking knees and worship the fucking ground i walk on.

somehow also me internally: THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME THEY LOVE ME!!!!!

me externally: aww i love you too!!

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shout out to my parents for not supervising what i do on the internet ever

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shoutout to all the bottoms in minecraft for making a community farm so everybody can eat while the tops go out and mine, you’re what’s keeping this community running

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ice cream trucks will be exactly the same post revolution theyll just be free

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controversial topics should be stuff like “is cloning good” or “should we fuck aliens” and not whether people deserve to be poor or deserve healthcare

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list very good™ things which are worth trying 1. shower in completely pitch black music (sad music to be edgy but not required) 2. little bit of chai mixed with black coffee  3. climb on ur roof and sit alone and think

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mum said it’s my turn to use the brain cell

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well well well we yeet again

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despacito but pronounced despa-cheeto

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*seductively slips into existential melancholy*