cadentellsweet-blog-blog - Tumblr blog

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I know how I'm going to stay warm tonight!! #cozy #catlife #catsofinsta #catsoninstagram #crazycatman #spinster

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Because you're tall like a tree, you get #treepose @jaremii #vrksasana #yoga #yogaeverydamnday #yogamostdays #yogaguy With @candicehoffman 😘

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Woke up from a nap to find this happening. #catnap #catlife #catcrushmonday #catsofinsta #spinster

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#yoga #yogaalmosteverydamnday #scorpion #scorpionpose #vrschikasana #idontknowsanskrit #ihadtogoogleit#ydyl I wish I had my leggings on...

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#firetower #clarkstatepark #tuesdayfunday (at Clark State Forest)

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So this needs to be made into a meme. Ready, go!!! #memethis

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He is in a tote bag, he's my TOTEm animal. #totemanimal #spiritanimal #wasabi #wasabirulestheworld #catsofinsta

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Oh. Muh. Gerd.

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All alone on a rooftop, basking under the glow of lady Luna, I began to burn out. She slowly took from me all of my anger and let her soothing energy wash over me. My inner fire extinguished, calm once more fell over me. A sense of security and joy came back.

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There was some thunder this morning in my house.

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#lilbrudder hiding under a blanket. #nofilter needed #catcrushmonday #catsofinsta #wasabi #wasabirulestheworld

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Opening up.

We all have an unlimited supply of energy that we can tap in to, we need only be open to it. We have to open our hearts and let the energy in. Lately though, I've been struggling with remaining open. If I close my heart off from people, then I don't have to be open to their energy, right? Working in customer service you come across a lot of people who carry a lot of funk around with them and personally I don't want to be open to their funk. However, when I close myself off to their energy, I close myself off from my energy as well. We are all one in the same, shutting them out is shutting myself out as well. I've been noticing that there are days when I go to work and everything is beautiful. Customer interactions are fun, jokes are made, smiles exchanged. Then there are days when I've gotten the nastiest people, money is thrown at me instead of handed to me or I don't even get a response when I ask people how they are doing. Those are the moments when I shut down and close myself off. When I'm closed off, no more do I emit this love energy I feel like I'm usually emitting, I emit nothing, and nothing is what I get in return. The law of attraction, like attracts like, is all to present in my everyday life. It's really no surprise to me that when I am feeling open, I attract wonderful things and people into my life. It's also apparent to me, though, that when I'm closed off I get shit in return. For some reason, maybe it's the turtle totem animal of mine, I feel like crawling into myself and shutting myself off is how to protect myself from the funk people carry. I read today, "When your heart starts to close, just say, "No. I am not going to close. I'm going to relax. I'm going to let this situation take place and be there with it.""(are double quotations a thing??) What I take from that is to be present, and open, in every situation. I don't have to close myself off when I'm suddenly wanting to protect myself from someone else's funk. I can remain open and let my inner energy shine forth. Just because I am open doesn't mean I am going to take on their funk. Maybe I can emit so much energy that my energy pushes away their nasty vibes. Maybe I can shine so bright that I illuminate the dark like a little light bulb in the night. It's exhausting to remain open when you feel like you are being barraged with what you assume to be negative energy. Today however, is the day that I stop closing myself off in fear of taking on someone else's bull. Today is the day I remain open and emit love. Today is the day that I AM going to relax and remain present with each situation. During mediation today, my mantra will be, "I am remaining open." Today is the day I begin/continue this journey anew.

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Of course, here's another cat photo 😜 #catlife #catsofinsta #wasabi #wasabirulestheworld

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The process of change.

Today in yoga the instructor started talking about peeling away the layers of the day like peeling apart an onion. Slowly, through each pose, we can shed the layers we have worn through the day. I took it a little further and began thinking about peeling off the layers of Self I have accumulated through the years and I started thinking of the ups and downs I’ve had lately.

Normally, I am very chipper and easy going. Riding the highs that life has to offer me, way up above the clouds. When I come down though, I crash. It’s a long way down for me, no more flying, just falling. The air is different, I don’t see the light because I’m through the clouds now. I’m confused. How is it that just a few days ago, even just a few minutes ago, I felt so great? Now I feel frenzied and sad. Lonely even though I’m surrounded by people and angry with folks for no reason. It’s certainly change.

The last two years have been two significant years of change for me. Finally accepting myself and starting the journey of learning my true Self. With acceptance, I found a new sense of love for myself which has let me see the world in a whole new light. With that new light though, I was able to see things about myself that were normally hidden. I began delving into the recesses of ME( really not sure what delving or recesses mean but it sounded good, ya know?). Now when I am behaving a certain way, I don’t blame another person. No longer does so and so make me feel a certain way. I began realizing that I am in charge, and am the charge, for my feelings. What electrical pulse has charged me to feel sad or stressed when I was feeling so great?

I like to fancy myself a thinker, a planner. I don’t rush into things. I don’t move without intention. Think smarter not harder. Do things a certain way to avoid getting hurt, physically or emotionally. Then why, I ask you, do I feel pissed or upset when I’ve taken the steps to bring myself joy? Have I not tried hard enough? Didn’t get my ducks in the right order? My ducks gave no fucks and flew away and left me, just like everyone and everything else in my life(I’m kidding)?

So think Caden, really think. What are these feelings you are having that don’t seem right?I’m on a journey to find my Self, dredging through the layers of whatever bullshit I have accumulated over my 24 years of existence(with this fleshy body at least). Ideally, with my planning, I would slowly work my way through things, the layers. The 24 years of onion peels. Slowly peeling off the bandaid after I get it wet and it kinda just slips off versus the quick, but slightly more painful method of just ripping it off briskly. Testing the waters before jumping in head first.

Maybe some of the layers I’m working through are full of anger, hate, loneliness, fear. I peel off a layer to find myself smacked in the face with regret(which I try to never have. If you can learn anything from an event in your life and grow from it, you should never regret anything) or apathy or sadness. Just thrown into it, no time to dip a toe in or wet the bandaid. As I’ve been going through these mood swings though I’ve been trying to remind myself that it’s a part of the process. I read a FB stays yesterday that said something to the affect(or effect, can’t get those two straight 😭) that, “sunshine all day makes for a desert”. I don’t alway have to be soaring above the clouds. I just need to accept that, on this journey to the Self, I may stir up some old feelings that I need to sit with for awhile. Shed some new light on them, accept them and let them go. This is a process of change. Maybe these changes in moods are a way the universe is helping me accept change that is to come on a larger scale in the future.

Don’t get too hung up on certain feelings, for they may be feelings of the past. Just like you worked your way through one layer, you will get through this one as well. Set your intention to better yourself and begin your process of change. Every layer peeled away, every step, is taking you closer to your true Self. Trust in the process, trust in the change. Namaste 😘

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This kids, is what we a call a good hair day. #iwokeuplikethis #bighairdontcare #flawless