caelivir - Tumblr blog

[caelivir]

i think i just fell for a man’s trap FUCK 😭😭😭😪

peep this.

i’ve been keeping up with the kendrick lamar and drake beef and i’ve been talking ab it on my priv account on insta. and there’s this guy ik who follows it.

this guy and i have similar music tastes i think so he’s been keeping up w it too so he’s been liking my stories ab it. but the thing ab this guy is that he thinks im attractive like whenever i drop a pic of myself on my story there’s a chance he will like it. (i’ve also been told by my friend that he thinks so.)

so later he posts one of the lyrics of kendrick’s new diss on his story. and this is probably where i go wrong bc no one ik rlly cares ab the kendrick/drake beef so i get excited and swiped up.

there’s huge time intervals btwn the messages but we have been talking ab it, but he posted something new on his story but im realizing that he deleted the kendrick lyric

so now im putting these pieces together and im thinking “did he calculate this?” like was this one giant scheme to talk to me 😭😭😭

[caelivir]

[2:17 AM] : DOMINA BLOWELIVE | fluff & hints of suggestive.

“do you hate me?”

“what”

you sounded like someone had murdered your neighbor this morning and you only knew just now in this boring afternoon while you were scrolling through your cat reels. you look so gobsmacked that domina blowelive would've laughed if not for his question being dead serious.

he stood in the corner of the living room while you're cozied up in the tufted futon, you stare a bit more before you register the tension laced in his tone, his furrowed brows, the downward pull of his lips, and his rigid figure. you sit up straight, phone left to your side, your attention solely on your boyfriend. "c'mere." you pat the empty spot on your right, offering a gentle smile.

tentatively, he takes a seat beside you, his tourmaline pink hair slightly obstructing his face. "i don't hate you, love. is there...something wrong with us?"

“n-no! there’s nothing wrong!” he frantically explains himself. it further worries you as he avoids your gaze. “it’s just, we haven’t..you..”

you inch a bit closer, sitting cross legged. there’s a pause settling his pouted lips, as if pushing back the words trying to form in his throat. you see his thigh bouncing in anxious beats, and you naturally rest your palm against it, “i’m here. it’s okay. m’ listening.”

he flinches from your touch. you hear his breath hitches, and slowly, he lays his hand atop of yours on his thigh.

if dating domina could teach you a thing or two, it’s that his love language is words of affirmation all the way through. and to you, reassuring your boyfriend comes as second nature, as if its breathing, domina kind of treats it as some sort of talent of yours. point is, you'll never find his constant seeking of your comforting words as tedious. in fact, you love him for it, makes you want to dote him more.

and in turn, you feel loved in the form of his acts of service; upon arriving your shared apartment, you notice the plant (you impulsively bought it one day) that you forgot to tend to this morning, is well manured and watered. your fridge has been restored to its vitality with a few knickknacks to spare. and the manner he hugs you so tight, leaving trails of kisses down your temple then to your lips, whispering "i cooked your favourite meal" as though no one should know that other than you. it's mind boggling to think he's your boyfriend, but you want to give him everything that you have, as freely as he gives his to you.

"you.." you blink back from your trance, humming as you coax him while brushing your thumb against his palm. "you pushed me while i tried to hug you in your sleep."

...

...

......

what.

you couldn't care less if you said your thoughts out loud. you reiterate "what" to emphasise your confusion and he quickly defends with "you never do that! you even said out loud 'go away you monster'” he starts to lower his voice in a gruff tone trying to imitate you. “i tried to stop myself from wanting to violently shake your shoulders because that hurts!"

you open your mouth only to close it, stunned into silence. "babe..."

"you said i-l-y on the phone instead of i love you directly.."

“love of my life.”

“did i do something wrong? is it because i changed my wallpaper into your candid photo instead of the one we both took on our aquarium date? the one that you really liked? is it because of-”

“i don’t hate you, domina blowelive.”

you carefully place your hands on both sides of his face, shifting it in front of you as you meet his pretty eyes, he’s so cute like this, all pouting and teary eyed, his skin is warm, probably from the blush spreading across his cheeks. with all your strength, you try not to laugh. “can we start over? here, i wanna hold you close while i tell you my side of story.”

arms now snake through his back as he makes himself comfortable laying his head on the crook of your neck, lips touching your collarbone but not kissing. your hands rubbing him in slow motion, “first of all, i was asleep. i’m sorry if i pushed you, that was on reflex. and, if i remember my dream correctly, i was fighting off some actual monsters. i don’t recall saying ‘go away you monster’, though.”

“then, shouldn’t that be a nightmare?”

“er, i don’t think it was. and besides, i didn’t even remember any of it when i woke up because im instantly graced by your handsome face, everything else just fades away.”

he stays silent, you hope he believes you because truly you couldn’t see yourself shoving your boyfriend from his wonderful and therapeutic hugs. “about the i-l-y thing, i’m sorry too. i was running late to get to the train and i was overall rushing to get back home. i wanted to get back home to you.”

you chuckle, you had imagined he would react from that because you’ve never really like to say the three words in text. you’d rather say it straight to his face, to let him hear it from the depths of your heart, and every love that you have for this man.

“lastly. i won’t say sorry on this. that candid photo of me is terrible. just what on earth are you thinking when you changed it? i look so pale, my hair’s a mess, and don’t get me started with the angle.” you hear him whine in response. “but listen, i don’t hate you. never was and never will.”

you kiss his forehead in finality. “if you’re still unsatisfied with that, then tell me, my dear, what can i do to make it up to you?”

when he looks up at you, half lidded gaze and full of longing, you felt the urge to lavish him with so much kisses. “i want to make out. all night.”

“seems like we’re on the same page then.”

“for your information: you’re always pretty. even if you looked like a soaking wet cat, even if you turned into a wiggling worm. you’re still my sweetheart. the one and only.” he doesn’t waste any longer and proceeds to invade your skin with pecks and slight nibbles. “you better cover up tomorrow, i won’t leave this neck of yours until i mark every single spot.”

he mutters you to lie down, and you do. “why should i? don’t you want everyone to see who i belong to?”

from your viewpoint, the amber light that casts shadows on his features, looked as if he’s ready to devour you any minute, skin flushed, honey glazed. “and who do you belong to?”

“to the silly man named domina who’s dearly obsessed with me.”

they’re both silly, your honour. @seneon

[caelivir]

i literally see rayne having avoidant attachment issues like bro is so caring but is very afraid for your safety 😞 its why i wrote that angst drabble sorry for hurting ur heart kory it won’t (WILL) happen again

ur lucky i am a SUCKER for angst kyo keep them coming 💳💳💥💥💥

[caelivir]

ur sick for this and i loved every second of it

LOVER, YOU SHOULD'VE COME OVER. ✦˚˳⊹ RAYNE AMES

you confess your love to rayne and you don't regret doing so. ever. angst | inspired by this song | short drabble i wrote instead of resting.

you’re ready for anything that comes your way. well, you like to tell that to yourself before you dive headfirst into anything reckless. and confessing to your crush, rayne ames, wouldn’t be any different to how you approach things, even if the affirmation is a lie. you fake it 'til you make it, you suppose.

what prompted you to pour your honest feelings for him, you are not sure. but there’s something in the way he always checks up on you through short greetings before your class starts. his random questions regarding your activity after, if you’re free, or if you’re going out, only for him to give you a warning of the slightest danger that you know you could ward off so easily.

but even then, he didn’t have to do all that, with the nature of his divine visionary work, you honestly don’t expect anything from him. you’re happy to just simply sit still, to quiet your thoughts when he’s near you, to smile him across the halls in simple acknowledgment.

to let him know that you exist, admiring and supporting him, was enough.

was enough.

you couldn’t just sit still after he gave you a gift for no particular reason when he just got off from his mission and god so help you if you were seeing things because he’s awful at hiding his miniscule smile (or that he never intended to hide it in the first place) as he withdraws from you.

and when you open the box to be met with a limited edition merch you once complained to him of not having your hands on it—mind you, that was only a trivial musing you briefly mentioned eons ago— your mind won’t let you sleep until you finally sealed it.

there was no way he’d do all that without an intention. he’s not that kind of person that you’ve come to hold dear.

but what other option do you have in order to prove yourself wrong, other than directly addressing the source?

yeah, maybe you’re just confirming your point. maybe you’re ready to find out the truth, maybe you’re not.

you stand, knees wobbling, though rayne doesn’t seem to notice it. his golden eyes fixed on yours, an unreadable expression—like always— stuck to his face.

you don’t expect anything, truly you don’t, but just this once in your life — you want to see things go right this time.

it doesn’t.

you don’t know where you stand with rayne at this point, maybe you’re just someone he knows, maybe you’re just a junior he’s grown fond with, like his brother, or maybe you’re not any of that — does it matter now?

(does he even think of you the way you think of him?)

(his bow, blocking whichever expression he was wearing, wasn't enough for you to draw any conclusion. the last thing you'll probably ever hear from him is his apology, his rejection ever so quiet, softening the blow. he'll never get to see how pained you are, how much you cried through closed doors, and you like to keep it that way.)

somewhere in the middle of a war between life and death, caught up in the eclipse set up by innocent zero, destruction and debris soon fall before you as you try to save another person. your head is pounding, your vision grown muzzy. a giant suddenly kicks you against brick walls until you pierce through it, and events leading after that is unrevealed to you as you lose consciousness. as death wins before life can claim you back.

you don't regret your life that much. you've let rayne know there was someone out there who watched him grow beyond limits, who loved him as he is.

his warm, tiny smile lulls you to your eternal sleep. soft, peaceful, and quiet. you leave the world in a silent goodbye.

"..."

"their body brutally experienced several traumatic injuries, the collapse was too deep. we found them after several days, and their face was muddled so we couldn't determine their identi—"

"i'll take it from here." the coldness upon rayne's order bled through one of the investigators. he sees the merch cling to your pocket like a lucky charm, and he doesn't need proof that it's you because other than his brother, you value him more than he values himself.

he waits for prying eyes to eventually leave before he hangs his head low, he drapes your figure over a blanket. away from which the world shall never inflict pain to you ever again.

away from him, from the shattered heart that he caused.

"i'm sorry." it means nothing. his actions had done nothing for his apology to hold any weight. this is the second time he had hurt you, and from the looks of it, had cost your life instead of protecting it. protecting you.

"i'm sorry." his voice starts breaking. because i didn't want to reject you. i had to.

"i'm sorry." because i failed you.

"i'm sorry." because i loved you in the wrong way.

"i'm sorry." because i should've loved you how you deserved to be loved.

"i'm sorry." because i love you, and i never told you.

teardrops stain the blanket as quiet sobs fill the empty room. you never got to understand that when he bowed to you the first time, his lips were swollen from biting down hard, and his expression were morphed with regret. now, he looks as if he's a mourning lover deserted in his own world.

tags. @seneon @steleir @luvmequmi eat this.

notes. LOLLLLL IM EVIL :3

© kyoghurts. ★ reblogs & likes are well appreciated!

[caelivir]

cooking up another orter fic who else missed him 😮‍💨🔥

[caelivir]

having so many ideas but not having the motivation to execute them is the worst

[caelivir]

dot’s “no cyap” gave me a good chuckle 😭

MASHLE BOYS reacting to you simping over an animanga character in my fav stoic and depressed character list.

special features to my fav boys — byakuya kuchiki, aki hayakawa, itachi uchiha, shugen yamada asaemon, L. lawliet, and megumi fushiguro. contains pure chaos and crack. minor suggestive one in rayne's. this one is so fun to make i literally laughed so much at making dot's pfp 😭

MASH BURNEDEAD && FINN AMES

LANCE CROWN && DOT BARRETT

RAYNE AMES && ORTER MÁDL

TAGGING ★ @kyoghurts @anqelically @itonashi @steleir @dragonictears @caelivir @nanaminis

© SENEON 2024 ♰ do not repost, alter, or translate.

[caelivir]

completely forgot ab wind breaker until i heard it got an anime so now im completely caught up with the manga 😄😄😄

[caelivir]

themes r so annoying to make omg i hate this 😭😭

[caelivir]

when i write it’s like there’s gaps between each track. i got one scene in my head that inspired me but now i have to fill in the tracks that lead up to it 😭🙏

Some writers: *meticulously plan out every plot point and the tone and meanings before they start writing*

Me:

[caelivir]

STUDIO GHIBLI + summer

@pscentral event 25: seasons

[caelivir]

this is gonna sound so dumb but do u guys ever watch a ship edit and get motivated to write?? 😭😭 like it just evokes this longing or soft spot out of me and i want to capture it???

[caelivir]

boop boopity boop

[caelivir]

spring break means i can read more manhwas 😝😝😝 (i say this as if i don’t have a fic to finish)

[caelivir]

oh my gosh. i saw the quote on your page and I just had to immediately ask have you read the poppy war trilogy? 😭😭

okay imma keep it real i only read the first book BUT BUTTTTT i do plan on reading the rest of the trilogy i just don’t know when cuz i want to actually buy physical copies of the other two books but im lowkey broke… ive seen the quote everywhere tho and i love it a lot so i just wanted to include it lol

[caelivir]

hi! i'm the wattpad person lool. i was asking because someone was posting your work, and i didn't want to seem rude in case it was you. anyway, they did say in an a/n that they belong to the rightful owners but they didn't credit you. if you want to check it out their user is @/STARGAZ3R_-_ and the book is titled seraphim. they didn't really credit any of the writers but i just wanted to lyk 🙃

WHAT THE HECK. thank u for letting me know omg i’ll look into it that’s so messed up 😭

[caelivir]

HIHIHIHI i was wondering if you have wattpad because i would love to support you on their tooooo 😊😊

hi friend!! i don’t have a wattpad and tbh i don’t think i plan on having one either. however i do appreciate the thought of u wanting to support me on there even if i did have one. that’s so sweet. 😭💗💗 have a good one anon~~~