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Castiel • Insecurities

Hiii loves  ❤ It’s kinda weird coming back on this blog, but hey, nostalgia is a thing. Before you ask, as I said in a previous post, I’m done with MCL & Eldarya (but you can find me here now, hi!), so, no, I’m not actively coming back into this fandom.

BUT. Well, I came back to lose myself in my drafts, and found this small piece that I actually never posted before. Rather than letting it sleep for nothing, I was like “why just not sharing it, since it’s already fully written after all ?”.

So, hey, yeah, I’m back just for this one. But I don’t forget the wonderful community you all are ❤

Warnings : tiny bit of angst, insecurities, kind of body shaming, implied smut, fluff.

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“So guys, tell me in all honesty. How does it feel to have a very  good-looking singer who takes all the attention of your fans ? Does it  come with arguments sometimes ?”  

It had been done in one single sentence. A few stupid words from a second-zone journalist who was more interested in gossips than in the beauties of arts and specificities of the group he received that day.

Other Crowstorm members had immediately get riled up by the question, sending the journalist back to his place and remembering him that Castiel was before everything else a very talented singer and guitarist. But the harm was already done.

Stuck in front of your television in your shared apartment, a pillow against your chest and carefully following the live interview, you could immediately see the results of it. Arms crossed and lips pressing against each other in an attempt to contain the frustration, Castiel, who seemed to have a pretty good time right before, was now stuck in an angry silence.

The sight of the scene was enough for you to feel the tension of your husband, that you couldn’t appease right away. He wouldn’t be home before late in the night, since their popularity never stopped growing, and they were extremely demanded by the medias, with their new album ready to be shared.  And knowing his hard work had been cut off straight away by a bratty guy killed you.

Finding your phone, you immediately send him a message of pure support, even though he would probably not respond. He was the kind of person to deal with his emotions alone. Yet, you knew reading it would help him to at least achieve the day, knowing that someone was there for him.

Hours later, fighting against the sleep in the kitchen, a tea warming your hands, a blanket on your shoulders and Netflix playing on your laptop, you finally heard the sound of the front door opening. Silently rising up from your seat, you leaned back against the frame of the kitchen. You saw him backed on your little balcony, where you always spend your free evenings together, too happy to finally have some time to devote to your marriage, that you had to keep intact despite his profession.

“Hey...” You whispered from where you were, giving him a gentle grin when he quickly looked at you.

“Still awake ?”

“I was waiting for you. Seeing you at the TV made me missing you a lot” you said on a shiny tone, slowly embracing his waist from behind.

“Yeah, because I’m good-looking, I heard that before” his voice sounded a little more harsh than usual, but you didn’t take it  against you, knowing how upset and tired he had to be. He more than  certainly was already busy to silently blame himself for his tone. No  need to add more on his back for today.

���No, because you’re always on my mind.” you sarcastically answered, hoping you would gain a smile from him. Bad luck, as it seems.

“Baby, he’s stupid. You came until here because of your talent. All of your fans know that. And the others in Crowstorm also know you always try to place them in the center.”

“That’s just... Since we started, it’s always the same speech. It’s so boring to always have to justify that I didn’t choose to be born like that. They want me what, to start to hate myself because of my looks?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what our society likes. Too pretty or not enough, it’s always a question of apologies for being you. But I won’t allow that to happen to you. I want you to be proud of who you are, to love yourself as much as you love others.” you replied, placing sweet kisses on the back of his neck, starting to play with his hair. “You are beautiful, outside and inside. You are confident and you know your value, and that’s your weapon against that kind of persons.”

He softly let a laugh filling the air, taking your hands in his and turning around to find your eyes.

“Sometimes I forget how lucky I am for having marry someone who wants my ego to grow even bigger than it already is.”

“That’s because I need daily passionate fights to not get bored, you moron” you smirked to him and silently felt relieved to see the usual sparkles of life coming back in his eyes.

“Oh yeah ? And what about our today argument, then ? Because we didn’t have it yet.” he whispered, leaning against your lips and playfully biting you.

“I thought you would be exhausted ?” you innocently - hell no - retorted, pouting under his ministrations.

“Never when it comes to play together” he mumbled in your neck, his warm breath sending shivers made of pleasure and sparkles in your body. “You have no idea how much I want you right now [Y/N]” he growled, coming even closer until no space could exist between you two.

“Hmhm...” you mumbled against his ear, your hands wandering lower and lower until they found the warmth of his crouch, owning a relieved moan from him.

“I think I can, actually.”

[caemec]

SUNSHINE

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Idol!U, established relationship, implied smut, fluff, angst.

Words: 2k

Warnings: Fluff, but angsty fluff, insecurities, self-negativity, very quick mention of cyber harassment, allusion to oral sex (m receiving), kind of cum play.

A/N: Soooo… This is my very first writing for BTS 🙊 I’m kinda nervous about it, I guess? I can’t believe I actually did post something at all, I’m busy with so many drafts for months now, my mind is a mess at this point. Also, English isn’t my first language, even though I did my best to correct the mistakes. I’m so, so sorry if you still find some, but please let me know so I can improve myself! Oh, and last thing; all of the advices in this story go for all of you as well, you’re all beautiful and unique, and nobody has the right to make you doubt about it!

“Hey…” You whisper when you look up to meet his teary and ecstatic eyes you love to lose yourself in.  

Only one final and broken moan answers you, his voice long gone, breath erratic and satisfied, and you take his inability to speak as a personal trophy for your performance.  

You give Namjoon the time he needs to land, peppering his thighs and hips with thousands of butterfly kisses, delicately biting the skin here and there. You want to give him a future reminder of the delicious intimacy you shared together, on this early morning, you eagerly on your knees, him squirming endlessly under your touch and tongue. You love it – seeing him this undone, messy and lost in a world that belongs only to the two of you, at the mercy of your desires and silly fantasies.

Afficher davantage

[caemec]

Hi ^u^ How are you? I hope everything is going ok. Just wanted to send you a reminder that you're an amazing person and we all love you 💜 PS. Are there any other social media that we can find you on?

Hiiii baby! I’m so sorry I didn’t respond to you sooner, I just saw your message (and I wasn’t really active here since I stopped this blog).

Thank you sooo much for your message, by the way

❤ 

Actually, after a quite long break, I just started writing again!

As I announced it on this blog (I’m actually wondering if I should close it for good or just let it be on its own 🤔), I won’t come back to write for MCL, nor Eldarya, it’s completely behind me now. But, I’m busy preparing quite a few stories about BTS, as a starter, and I hope I will be able to publish them very soon from now on!

If you’re interested or want to check out, I already created my next blog, “Glitters & Light” (the title sucks, but whatever), you can find it here.

It’s still empty for now, but I hope so much to be able to post the first writings really, really soon.

I hope you’re okay yourself? You’re such an amazing person, truly ❤

And again, thank you thank you thank you ❤

[caemec]

❤ Thank you for those 2 years ❤

Hey guys, how are you all ?

It’s been a long, long time since my last writing over MCL or Eldarya. Months actually.

I think I owe you an explanation, I guess ? Well, sadly, it’s very easy.

I’ve lost the interest in the game we all used to love. I won’t come back over the reasons why Beemov killed its own business, I think the subject has been debated enough during this year of MCLUL.

the fact is, I’m one of those players, who were there since the very beginning of the game. I grew up with it, I was so, so excited when new episodes were released, like if I was following a serie and fully enjoying it.

Now ? Well, it’s very sad, but I don’t even care about it anymore. I could have, if they had stuck to the personnalities of their characters, if they had wroten a better storyline. And I’m not even talking about Eldarya.

So yeah, to the few followers who are still here with me, MCL & Eldarya are definitely over for me.

You won’t see me writing about it anymore. I might release the few writings I still have in my draft, but that’s all.

BUT. I love writing. So, so much. And it was very uneasy for me to want to write, but not liking the main characters I used for years, because of the “reality” of the game they come from.

This last year, a lot of stuffs happened in my life. Complicated, hard, but I grew up so much from it. And now, I can say : I am happy. That’s such an amazing feeling.

I rebuilt myself with positivity, not to give it only to the others, like I used to before, but to cherish myself with it too. I must say, BTS helped me so much through it. I discovered them two years ago, when it was harder and harder to deal with my problems. The maturity, the positivity, the respect, the love, the beauties they share with Army is so wonderful, and I love to see it.

I’m thinking about, maybe, starting to write this time about BTS. I will probably create a new tumblr account, to start on a new way.

I’m very shy about it, I’m still insecure about the idea of writing about it, so I will see. If I have the courage to do this, and if some of you want to follow me there, don’t hesistate to tell me and to contact me. I will post here one last time to give you the new link to the next account.

Sorry for this, guys, and thank you for your presence and your support. It was very interesting, very amazing, you are such a cool bunch of beautiful people,.

Believe in yourselves ❤

[caemec]

The way you said “I love you.“

Some fluffy, some angsty prompts

As a hello

With a hoarse voice, under the blankets

A scream

Over a cup of tea

Over a beer bottle

On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair

As a thank you

As an apology

When baking chocolate chip cookies

Not said to me

With a shuddering gasp

When we lay together on the fresh spring grass

In a letter

A whisper in the ear

Loud, so everyone can hear

Over and over again, till it’s nothing but a senseless babble

When the broken glass litters the floor

From very far away

With no space left between us

As we huddle together, the storm raging outside

Over your shoulder

Muffled, from the other side of the door

Through a song

Without really meaning it

In a blissful sigh as you fall asleep

Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

A taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips

When I am dead

Slowly, the words dripping from your tongue like honey

Too quick, mumbled into your scarf

In awe, the first time you realised it

In a way I can’t return

On a post-it note

Before we jump

As a goodbye

[caemec]

“You haven’t lost me” • MCLUL (Mafia!au)

Masterlist (in reconstruction) | Make a request

Type : drabble • Mafia!au

Characters : Reader x Castiel

Contains : strong langage • violence • mention of death • verrry angsty

Ask : “You haven’t lost me”.

Everywhere around you, blood. Death bodies, warmth still giving them their very last colours. They wouldn’t have any rest, even after death. Burned until their bones would become dust, buried like animals, cut like meat. No ceremony, no goodbye from families, no last words spoken in their honor. Only tears flying to nowhere to be seen.

It had been a carnage. You didn’t see them coming - no one did. Everything was fine for a while. A night of victory, laughs, drinks, bodies against bodies, and smoke. Drugs also, for many of you. Annihilating the last residues of analytical ability. It was maybe what cost you so many lives.

The first gun shot had astonished the room. Probably for a fraction of second, maybe even less, before the first riposte was sent. But to you, deep into your memories, it had been hours. Who was the first to die, the lucky one to be spared by the scene that would play under the eyes of the survivors, no one would care. But you wished it was you. For a moment of weakness, you truly wished life had left your body at the very first second of this hell.

Funny how, when you are on the wrong side of a gun, your mind can suddenly mess up so fucking bad. You were trained for years, to shoot, to fight, to kill. No one would scare you, but you would scare them, to no end. How many people had peed on themselves and cried to your feet, before you mercilessly took them out of this world ? 

But apparently, life was a true bitch - or was it just what they called justice ? A gun against your throat, some of your very last men alive kneeled next to you, shutting their fucking mouth, because they still had that stupid survival hope.

That’s how you would end for all those years of savagery. Slain by the one of another. Life circle.

“Do it.”

You could swear you already had hear that voice somewhere. What - who - you could recognize in a matter of seconds, however, was the face of your fiancé in front of you. On the other side of the gun.

In another context, you would have immediately done the link. You would have finally understood which truth has played in front of you for months. You would have remembered all those times he would have  disappeared for hours without a proper excuse. You would have replay those scenes of Castiel whispering on the phone, and those tears he had when he fucked you to oblivion right after. Those thousand of I love you‘s he never said to you so frequently before. God, how bad he was at hiding the truth. And how blinded you had been.

“Where did I lose you ?” you whispered under your breath.

All those years of life made together, love murmurs secretly kept between the walls of your bedroom, even a stupid engagement ring, for what ? A bullet in your head ? Was he fucking serious ?

“You haven’t lost me [Y/N]. I’ve lost myself.”

Worse part of it ? You could see the regrets in his teary eyes. And despite the anger, the hate, the desire to make him pay with worse than death, the wish to drain from him every single tear of blood you could, you still felt your heart silently screaming at the sight of his own pain.

He could wash his hands from your blood once he would be done with you, but oh god, if only he knew how badly you would haunt him. Because Castiel was still Castiel, even in this moment. An asshole, a warrior, a killer, but not a heartless man. Certainly not when it came to his feelings for you. The only thing you had never doubted about in your life. If only you had thought a little more that love and loyalty weren’t a natural combo.

That fact pleased you as much as you hated it.

A useless mafia cliché love story then. It would be for that reason that you would leave this world.

The moment the bullet ripped up your skin, crashing between your lungs and heart, devastating your inside in a hurtful agony, he had shot himself too. It would worth it, they swore to him.

Your pain was over. His only began. And somehow, you both died tonight.

[caemec]

“You haven’t lost me” • MCLUL (Mafia!au)

Masterlist (in reconstruction) | Make a request

Type : drabble • Mafia!au

Characters : Reader x Castiel

Contains : strong langage • violence • mention of death • verrry angsty

Ask : “You haven’t lost me”.

Everywhere around you, blood. Death bodies, warmth still giving them their very last colours. They wouldn’t have any rest, even after death. Burned until their bones would become dust, buried like animals, cut like meat. No ceremony, no goodbye from families, no last words spoken in their honor. Only tears flying to nowhere to be seen.

It had been a carnage. You didn’t see them coming - no one did. Everything was fine for a while. A night of victory, laughs, drinks, bodies against bodies, and smoke. Drugs also, for many of you. Annihilating the last residues of analytical ability. It was maybe what cost you so many lives.

The first gun shot had astonished the room. Probably for a fraction of second, maybe even less, before the first riposte was sent. But to you, deep into your memories, it had been hours. Who was the first to die, the lucky one to be spared by the scene that would play under the eyes of the survivors, no one would care. But you wished it was you. For a moment of weakness, you truly wished life had left your body at the very first second of this hell.

Funny how, when you are on the wrong side of a gun, your mind can suddenly mess up so fucking bad. You were trained for years, to shoot, to fight, to kill. No one would scare you, but you would scare them, to no end. How many people had peed on themselves and cried to your feet, before you mercilessly took them out of this world ? 

But apparently, life was a true bitch - or was it just what they called justice ? A gun against your throat, some of your very last men alive kneeled next to you, shutting their fucking mouth, because they still had that stupid survival hope.

That’s how you would end for all those years of savagery. Slain by the one of another. Life circle.

“Do it.”

You could swear you already had hear that voice somewhere. What - who - you could recognize in a matter of seconds, however, was the face of your fiancé in front of you. On the other side of the gun.

In another context, you would have immediately done the link. You would have finally understood which truth has played in front of you for months. You would have remembered all those times he would have  disappeared for hours without a proper excuse. You would have replay those scenes of Castiel whispering on the phone, and those tears he had when he fucked you to oblivion right after. Those thousand of I love you‘s he never said to you so frequently before. God, how bad he was at hiding the truth. And how blinded you had been.

“Where did I lose you ?” you whispered under your breath.

All those years of life made together, love murmurs secretly kept between the walls of your bedroom, even a stupid engagement ring, for what ? A bullet in your head ? Was he fucking serious ?

“You haven’t lost me [Y/N]. I’ve lost myself.”

Worse part of it ? You could see the regrets in his teary eyes. And despite the anger, the hate, the desire to make him pay with worse than death, the wish to drain from him every single tear of blood you could, you still felt your heart silently screaming at the sight of his own pain.

He could wash his hands from your blood once he would be done with you, but oh god, if only he knew how badly you would haunt him. Because Castiel was still Castiel, even in this moment. An asshole, a warrior, a killer, but not a heartless man. Certainly not when it came to his feelings for you. The only thing you had never doubted about in your life. If only you had thought a little more that love and loyalty weren’t a natural combo.

That fact pleased you as much as you hated it.

A useless mafia cliché love story then. It would be for that reason that you would leave this world.

The moment the bullet ripped up your skin, crashing between your lungs and heart, devastating your inside in a hurtful agony, he had shot himself too. It would worth it, they swore to him.

Your pain was over. His only began. And somehow, you both died tonight.

[caemec]

I loooove mafia!aus ! Yours always seems so accurate omg !! I'd love to see more !

Thanks thanks thanks ❤️💜🧡

Another one could come tonight, so if you like mafia au’s (and Castiel) (and angst) be ready

[caemec]

Who’s most likely to ... [MCLUL Mafia!au]

Masterlist (in reconstruction) | Make a request

Type : Most to least list

Characters : Kentin • Armin • Priya • Castiel • Lysander • Nathaniel

Contains : mention of violence/killing/stalking • angst

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[caemec]

Who’s most likely to ... [MCLUL Mafia!au]

Masterlist (in reconstruction) | Make a request

Type : Most to least list

Characters : Kentin • Armin • Priya • Castiel • Lysander • Nathaniel

Contains : mention of violence/killing/stalking • angst

Who’s most likely to prefer their S/O to also be in the mafia ?

1. Castiel ➝ Since his job is particularly dangerous and hard, he would need his S/O to fully understand the choices he sometimes will have to make. He couldn’t live with someone by his side who tries to constantly stop him from doing what he does, and couldn’t trust them completely if they weren’t in the business themselves, always doubting that one day, his S/O would stop supporting him and making him and all of his members fall down.

2. Nathaniel ➝ Mostly because he doesn’t want to involve someone in this business because of so-called love. He doesn’t really believe in love forever, stays suspicious to anyone because it’s what he learned to do, in order to survive. Since he is one of the most known figures of his gang, because of all the field work he does, he couldn’t live with the idea that the person he loves could become an easy target, not prepared to violent interrogations.

3. Priya ➝ If the idea of dating someone who wouldn’t remember her what kind of work she does seduces her, her logical side would stop her to act on her feelings. She doesn’t want to involve innocents in this universe, knowing full-well that once you’re there, you can’t leave anymore.

4. Armin ➝ He is quite careless about it, mostly because of the type of work he does. As a hacker, a man hidden in the shadows, rarely outside of the basement for missions, and plus knowing how to cover his identity better than anyone else in his gang, he would trust his abilities to do the same about his S/O. Nothing being more powerful to him than the technology, he really believes he can live a life with someone out of the mafia without being worried of retaliation, or even that his S/O would learn about his double life.

5. Kentin ➝ If he could fall head over heels for someone in the industry, mostly from admiration for their work and ability to take care of themselves, Kentin still would feel less worried knowing his partner gently waits for him in the safety of their home, rather than imagining them dying on the field. He could barely take care of himself if he had to constantly think of his S/O security. Business and love never make good affair, after all.

6. Lysander ➝ Lysander is quite different from the rest of his gang. He knows full well what kind of work he does - and what it says over his true self - but always kept his distance with this world as much as he could. He calls it a job, not a complete lifestyle. Lysander would need someone out of the business and the violence it implies, and would depreciate having someone liking that world, when he can sometimes barely hold eye contact with his own reflection while looking at the mirror each morning.

Who’s most likely to stop their activities to run away with their family ?

1. Kentin ➝ He would take the first opportunity to quit the underground world and come back to a normal life, full of laughs and love, without lies and blood. As he is searching for a love fairy tail, as soon as he is sure he has found the good one, he would already start to plot his departure, trying to deal with his superiors for the most safe and transparent retirement. Leaving the business, yes, but not at the cost of frequent manhunts.

2. Armin ➝ Armin probably never fully attempted to finish working for the mafia. Hacking was the most important thing to do when he started in the sector, still too young and immature to wisely choose his employer. It will be many years after, when he starts to dream of a more common life, far away from the permanent danger and the risks for his S/O and his family, that he will plan how to escape to the mafia. As one of the best men of the gang, he will not receive the authorization to leave so easily, and probably will have to run for a couple of years with his S/O, before being completely able to take a new beginning his in life, far away from his old himself.

3. Lysander ➝ As a smart, calm and peaceful man, Lysander will certainly become one of the heads of his clan. Which means being able to leave in better terms with his colleagues than standard members, but not without good negotiations and enough years of loyal services. However, once Lysander starts his own little family, and if it implies children, no way he will let them grow up in this world made of violence and fear. Even if it means working on missions he would never have taken before, in order to win his freedom as quickly as possible.

4. Castiel ➝ That man wouldn’t abandon his life made of action, danger and violence that easily. Even being in a relationship, a true and healthy one, would ask him the most important effort of all. Probably destined to end with someone from the business too, the thought of running away wouldn’t even cross his mind, until the sudden existence of a child would be put on the table. He can be an asshole and acting heartless, he doesn’t want to condemn an innocent, that he already had started to love, to this dangerous world. Unlike the others, he could choose another option, much more devastating to his little family, and would make his S/O disappear before the birth of their child, and assuring their safety from the inside of the industry. If sacrifice his own happiness in order to protect the ones he loves to no end is the only way to him, he will not hesitate, not even once.

5. Priya ➝ She dreams of a family, a normal one, far away from that gangster life and the constant threats of enemies, including cops and judges, ready to put the love of her life and her own children on the edge. And that’s exactly why she more than probably would never leave the industry for a dream she thinks she doesn’t deserve to meet in her real life. Down-to-earth, she knew from the start that this path would suppress her chances of happiness, sooner or later.

6. Nathaniel ➝ This way of life is probably all Nathaniel as ever known, between a father rooting in the business even before his birth, and the constant violence he always met in his life. Love could come knock on his door, it wouldn’t say he would be ready to leave everything he built behind him, only for pretty eyes and uncertain promises. Loving him and giving him a family life will probably have to be done in the clutches of the mafia.

Who’s most likely to take their revenge if their S/O betrays them ?

1. Nathaniel ➝ No one messes with him without loosing something themselves. Even if it is the person he loves the most. With time and experience in this dark world, he learned to never fully trust anyone, even his own shadow. Discovering that the person he thought he could finally rely on could be able to give his name, location and who knows what else, so easily, knowing the disastrous consequences for him, is enough for Nathaniel to close the way to his heart for the rest of his life. A sweet revenge is to plot, and he will take the greatest pleasure to do so. His feelings will be buried as quickly as they came.

2. Kentin ➝ His actions wouldn’t be rational, he would act under impulsion, anger and hurt. He would have given all his heart to his S/O, would have literally killed or finished death for them, only to, in the end, have to run away from the cops and learning that his parents, who didn’t know nothing about his secret life, are under interrogations. He wouldn’t kill his S/O, but would definitely confront them, even if it meant being caught that way. It could probably be the way his freedom would end - too many negative emotions to deal with to think logically and escape to the haunting.

3. Armin ➝ As the cheerful and sometimes too naive hacker he is, learning that his S/O had put him on the radar of the cops is the most difficult news to take. How in hell could even the thought of betray him come to his S/O’s mind ? He was sure he had proven to them they meant the world to him, having protect them more than once from the inherent backfire when you date a dangerous man. While anger leads his behaviour, he will do everything he can to make his ex understand how bad they messed up. Cruching every of their attempts for a new life will become an obsession.

4. Castiel ➝ Being hurt would be a euphemism for Castiel. If he will be angry for months, he still will manage to take out his frustrations in his job, more than ever, to the appreciation of his superiors. Somewhere in his mind, he knows his S/O did it for their own safety, and that’s why he will do all he can to suppress them from his life and never think about them again. However, if one day he had to cross his ex’s road again, he would definitely become very cold and passive-aggressive, trying to at least make them understand his regrets about his past relationship.

5. Priya ➝ As smart as she is, she more than probably already had a few steps in advance. Having seen the slight changes in her S/O’s behaviour was enough to lead her to the very hurtful truth. By the time her partner made their way to the police, she already had men looking for them ou and covering what needed to be suppressed as soon as possible. Her attitude is way much more leaded by the urge to protect her life and the members of the gang, than to take her revenge. Because, in all honesty ? She would probably have done the same thing in her S/O’s position - their sense of justice and ethic was what she felt for, after all.

6. Lysander ➝ He knew that day would come. If it wasn’t by his S/O, it would have been made by a friend, family, or even another member. Lysander knew he would meet betrayal the day he started this life, was ready for that. He would accept faith, would let his S/O go away without moving to make them regret. If his S/O was in the business themselves, he would fear the next meeting, not for himself, but for their own life, knowing he would never go to meetings without other members, ready to kill his ex at all costs, since touching one of them means hurting the whole group.

[caemec]

Just to laugh, THIS post has been flagged. While one of my NSFW post is compleeeetely safe.

To what would a best friend relation with boys looks like? (part 1)

Hi guys ! How are you ? 

I am so happy to publish it, I have it as a draft since more than one month. It was a lot of work, I couldn’t see it one more day, arghh. 

I hope you will enjoy it, and for once, surprise, I can also include Alexy (aka best male ever) in this headcanon !

As it is quite long for each boy, I publish it in two parts. I follow my usual order for the boys. The second part will come really soon, don’t worry. 

Part 1 : Castiel, Nathaniel & Kentin

Part 2 : Lysander, Armin & Alexy

Part 3 : Dake & Dajan

Who would be your Candy’s best friend ?

Castiel

In general ? 

He is a funny, but oh so irritating best friend. You want to kick his ass about five times a day. He teases you a lot, thinks you’re a funny little thing who moves constantly around him for no reason, will be happy to annoying you in front of everyone. He doesn’t walk on eggshells at all, and when he is upset, be ready for a lot of fights and childish reactions. You have to be someone who can take a step back, or you would not be his best friend. He is pretty shy to admit you are, by the way, the first time he will use the word, it will look like a declaration for him. 

Of all the boys, he will be the best friend who will follow you the most in every trouble, just to watch over you. He protects you in his own way, he is rude, but really attentive to you. You can’t be so close from him if you don’t have a good friendship with Lysander too, since they are practically always together. Castiel is not the kind to stay between two people who can’t speak or understand each other.

You are in couple ?

Afficher davantage

[caemec]

• LIES, ALWAYS •

Type : Drabble • angst • sadness • breakup storyline

Characters : Reader • Armin x …

Warning : No happy ending. Armin’s people, just be ready (and I’m sorry and I love you and I also love him, if it can help ?)

Ask : 36. You’ve shown me what love can feel like.

Drinking because of sadness always had been a pretty bad idea. Even more when you just saw your ancient boyfriend, unseen during the three last years, at the birthday party of his twin and actually best friend of yours, his arms happily embracing a beautiful and charismatic woman.

Who wasn’t you.

Saying you wanted to scream your anger to his - their - pretty faces right away, sending him back from wherever he came, and maybe throw up your glass on her very good-looking dress was a euphemism. Somewhere in your mind, images of both of you from prior years wouldn’t go away, reminding you how lucky you were.

Funny how time could wake up unspoken emotions that never came up when it should, to make you realise he wasn’t just a guy among many. You had to wait the day you woke up alone to understand what kind of mistake you had done.

You had let him stay by your side for a year. A whole fucking year of promises you didn’t truly want to follow, of actions to calm him down, and of meaningless words. You let him believe you, you let him live in a lie. And then, the day you had enough, you just destroyed him in a single sentence.

He was deeply in love with you. And you were too. Just not at the same time.

And that’s why, despite all the bitterness and damages that were ranting inside you, you tried.

You tried so much to keep the feelings still, very well blocked in your throat, even when he approached you, a wonderful smile on his lips after having recognized you. You let him kiss your cheek as if it wasn’t a big deal anymore, you falsely happily listened to him when everything inside you shattered.

Liar, liar, liar.

Even when he presented you that perfect creature by his side, you let him casually introduce you as “it’s [Y/N], my ex” , as if it wouldn’t have a huge effect on your already so broken heart, and you just smiled.

Karma was definitely a bitch, you would brazenly think, when she decided to hug you with so much warmth you just wanted to hate her. But couldn’t.

Because with this simple action, it was all said.

How much she trusted him to go greeting his ex with happiness. How much they were deeply in love with each other, when their hands wouldn’t stop touching and their eyes would show unspoken feelings that brought him sparkles of joy. How much she was the one in his life and dreams, having taken a place you once thought would be yours forever.

How could have you one day come to take Armin for granted ? You wish you could go back in time and slap your old self, because he wasn’t your meant to be without you loving and fighting for him like he truly deserved it. Like he did for you.

“Gosh, I am so happy to see you again, you have no idea. How are you doing since all those years ?”

Pretty bad since we broke up, actually.

It’s been three years, it was me who asked for it, I know I’m the one who screw up everything in less than one sentence.

And every time I’m thinking about you, I just hate myself for what I did. You didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve you.

And that’s why I can’t tell you that. I have no rights. I would just screw up everything, once again, I would have to see your teary eyes, once again, I would have to deal another three years with the idea I just broke your heart and couldn’t let you be. Once again.

I won’t, because I wish you to be happy, I wish her to bring you joy like you did for me before.

I was too selfish, too childish to understand how perfect you were. Now, I lost you, and all I can do for you is to let you go and have the beautiful life you are meant to have. If I’m not in it, that’s okay. I will pass through it, eventually.

The most important is that you can smile again, and will never be stopped. And certainly not by me.

You’ve shown me what love can feel like. Now it’s my turn to let you meet this feeling. Forever.

“I’m happy too, actually” you let escape with another actor’s grin.

You lied to him before, so you could do it again. For a good reason, this time.

[caemec]

• LIES, ALWAYS •

Type : Drabble • angst • sadness • breakup storyline

Characters : Reader • Armin x ...

Warning : No happy ending. Armin’s people, just be ready (and I’m sorry and I love you and I also love him, if it can help ?)

Ask : 36. You’ve shown me what love can feel like.

Drinking because of sadness always had been a pretty bad idea. Even more when you just saw your ancient boyfriend, unseen during the three last years, at the birthday party of his twin and actually best friend of yours, his arms happily embracing a beautiful and charismatic woman.

Who wasn’t you.

Saying you wanted to scream your anger to his - their - pretty faces right away, sending him back from wherever he came, and maybe throw up your glass on her very good-looking dress was a euphemism. Somewhere in your mind, images of both of you from prior years wouldn’t go away, reminding you how lucky you were.

Funny how time could wake up unspoken emotions that never came up when it should, to make you realise he wasn’t just a guy among many. You had to wait the day you woke up alone to understand what kind of mistake you had done.

You had let him stay by your side for a year. A whole fucking year of promises you didn’t truly want to follow, of actions to calm him down, and of meaningless words. You let him believe you, you let him live in a lie. And then, the day you had enough, you just destroyed him in a single sentence.

He was deeply in love with you. And you were too. Just not at the same time.

And that’s why, despite all the bitterness and damages that were ranting inside you, you tried.

You tried so much to keep the feelings still, very well blocked in your throat, even when he approached you, a wonderful smile on his lips after having recognized you. You let him kiss your cheek as if it wasn’t a big deal anymore, you falsely happily listened to him when everything inside you shattered.

Liar, liar, liar.

Even when he presented you that perfect creature by his side, you let him casually introduce you as “it’s [Y/N], my ex” , as if it wouldn’t have a huge effect on your already so broken heart, and you just smiled.

Karma was definitely a bitch, you would brazenly think, when she decided to hug you with so much warmth you just wanted to hate her. But couldn’t.

Because with this simple action, it was all said.

How much she trusted him to go greeting his ex with happiness. How much they were deeply in love with each other, when their hands wouldn’t stop touching and their eyes would show unspoken feelings that brought him sparkles of joy. How much she was the one in his life and dreams, having taken a place you once thought would be yours forever.

How could have you one day come to take Armin for granted ? You wish you could go back in time and slap your old self, because he wasn’t your meant to be without you loving and fighting for him like he truly deserved it. Like he did for you.

“Gosh, I am so happy to see you again, you have no idea. How are you doing since all those years ?”

Pretty bad since we broke up, actually.

It’s been three years, it was me who asked for it, I know I’m the one who screw up everything in less than one sentence.

And every time I’m thinking about you, I just hate myself for what I did. You didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve you.

And that’s why I can’t tell you that. I have no rights. I would just screw up everything, once again, I would have to see your teary eyes, once again, I would have to deal another three years with the idea I just broke your heart and couldn’t let you be. Once again.

I won’t, because I wish you to be happy, I wish her to bring you joy like you did for me before.

I was too selfish, too childish to understand how perfect you were. Now, I lost you, and all I can do for you is to let you go and have the beautiful life you are meant to have. If I’m not in it, that’s okay. I will pass through it, eventually.

The most important is that you can smile again, and will never be stopped. And certainly not by me.

You’ve shown me what love can feel like. Now it’s my turn to let you meet this feeling. Forever.

“I’m happy too, actually” you let escape with another actor’s grin.

You lied to him before, so you could do it again. For a good reason, this time.

[caemec]

Angst/fluff Prompt List

Please don’t repost (stealing isn’t cool, but reblog if you wish) <3 <3

“I love you, please don’t go.”

“Stay here tonight.”

“Please don’t walk out of that door.”

“I thought things were going great.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“You make every day worth living.”

“I’ll keep you warm.”

“I’m never letting you go.”

“You meant too much to me.”

“I won’t let you.”

“How could you ask me that?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“Shouldn’t you be with him/her?”

“I’ve got you.”

“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

“It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“How are you feeling today?”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“We’ll figure this out.”

“This isn’t goodbye.”

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

“Wanna go grab a drink?”

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Here, let me help you.”

“Kiss me.”

“I care about you.”

“You could have warned me!”

“That was unexpected.”

“You haven’t lost me.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t cry.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“You make me feel safe.”

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

“All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

“I can’t do this on my own.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

“You’re always on my mind.”

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

“You’ve always felt like home.”

“I can’t imagine this world without you.”

“Dance with me.”

“Trust me.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Who hurt you?”

“Nothing is wrong with you.”

“You make me feel alive.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“Who cares about what they think?”

“Let’s go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’ve always got me.”

“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”

“Is this okay?”

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“Did you need something?”

“Do you have a ride home?”

“I am home.”

“What happened back there?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Why me?”

“I’m right where I belong.”

“Fine.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

“You need sleep.”

“Excuse me?”

“What are you doing?”

“What did you expect?”

“You’re not alone.”

“We’re meant for each other.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I’ve always been honest with you.”

“It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”

“Just breathe, okay?”

“When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Going somewhere?”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”

“You’re so adorable.”

“I’m better, now that you’re here.”

“I could never forget you.”

“Forget it.”

“That’s in the past.”

“You make me happy.”

“You’re more than that.”

“I won’t lose you too.”

“Come cuddle.”

“Can’t you stay a little longer?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I’ve had enough.”

“I fell in love with you, not them.”

“You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to.”

[caemec]

The after MCL for this blog & Rules

Hi guys ! How are you today ?

To not lie to you, since the release of My Candy Love - University Life, I had to struggle a lot with the idea to continue writing in the fandom or not.

I am honestly not happy with how things turned out. Still now, I can’t pass on what Beemov chose to do with the game. I am not really a fan of the new game, too cheesy, cliché and even more childish than MCL in my opinion. 

It is why, at least for now, I decided I would make a compromise - I will continue to write, because I obviously stay really close to the characters.

BUT. My next posts will be a mix between MCL and MCLUL, and for the first time, I will clearly post rules about the future asks and writings.

Future writings :

Scenarios and headcanons I will write, will always include :

✩ Lysander

✩ Armin

✩ Kentin

✩ Castiel

✩ Priya

✩ Nathaniel

What I will refuse to do :

✩ Which leads to the fact that, yeah, for now, I will not write about Rayan and Hyun.

Sorry for the ones who like them, but for now, we don’t know enough about them, it is actually almost impossible to propose something with a minimum of quality without knowing a damn thing about their background or their personality.

To be totally honest, I am absolutely not a fan of their character and the way they are used in the game (mostly for Rayan, he makes me feel so uncomfortable and I refuse to write this feeling only for some headcanons).

They could appear sometimes for the need of a scenario, because I will not make like if they didn’t exist, but that’s all.

✩ Also, I will not use the main character as “Candy” anymore, since I dislike her personality more and more, but with the mention [Y/N] - Your Name - or [S/O] - Signifiant Other.

Rules about asks :

✩ From now on, when you make a general ask, I will need you to ask for four characters maximum, in order to have a little less of work. Always think to give their names, or I will not make it - or will chose by myself.

✩ I will always take the asks about Armin, Lysander, Kentin, Castiel, Nathaniel.

✩ Nathaniel will be based more on the new one, but written in the personal idea that he acts like an asshole to protect himself. I tend to keep wanting him that slight shyness and softness he always had.

✩ I’m glaldy waiting for asks about Priya (I will follow her storyline in the game, from what I see now), even though she will be incorporated into the posts.

✩ I am also totally up to write about reader X Amber/Yeleen/Chani/Kim.

✩ I refuse asks between two characters. It’s only about the reader and one of the girls/boys.

✩ I will refuse asks about Rayan and Hyun. If I change my mind, later in the game, I will obviously tell you so.

✩ Beside them, feel free to ask for other characters I didn’t speak about above.

Storyline precisions :

I tend to be happy that the game finally propose the characters older (they have finally my age, it’s always easier to write), so I will follow Beemov on that point.

Which also means that in my opinion, Lysander, Armin and Kentin are still part of the story, and not lost somewhere for the good sake of we don’t know who (obviously not ours, I was an Armin addict). They are still in town, guys. Fight me about that.

I will not follow the breakup storyline, unless it is asked by one of you or if it is interesting for a specific headcanon / scenario. Otherwise, I stay with the fact that they are still together.

[caemec]

MCL - Who’s most likely to ... (part 2) | summer edition

 Hello sunshines ! 

How are you today ? As for a lot of us, it is summer, and holiday time, I propose you a “Who’s most likely to” special summer edition. 

It’s maybe something I will keep for each “special period” of the year, at least for this collection. What do you think ? 

Kisses ♥

Who’s most likely to stay in the water the entire time ? 

Armin — He is a big child, what did you expect ? Even boisterous kids will avoid the pool when they will see him in there. He could buy a water pistol and a water mattress for the occasion. R.I.P. to Alexy, it will be everything except holidays for him. 

Kentin — Swimming is a great way to make some sport, while don’t suffer too much from the heat. Some breaks time to time, but he never lets himself the opportunity to be completely dry. In the water, he still can take the sun, so, what’s the problem ? It’s two birds with one stone. 

Castiel — Just because taking the sun without doing anything is not what he prefers. Better to be in the pool, and if he is with you, he could enjoy it and having fun. But for him, the best way to appreciate holidays is with his guitar, and even if it means playing at the left of an old couple who’s yelling and just want to push him in the water, well, he doesn’t care. 

Nathaniel — Yes, he likes swimming, and he will certainly make some breaststroke in the morning, just to keep the shape while he is on holidays. But what is better than laying on a deck chair, with a good book, a lot of sun cream and a little bit of Monoi oil to improve his tan ? 

Lysander — If the pool is not private, he will stay at the edge of it. Don’t imagine he will swim in the sea like if it pleased him. You never know what people did in there just before. Even thinking about it is disgusting. 

Who’s most likely to stay with the locals during all the travel ? 

Lysander — It’s the best way to discover new cultures. Always open to others, he wants to know everything about people, and what a better way than sharing the everyday life ? Even if it’s in a completely lost village, far away from his usual comfort, he is ready to make the step. It’s worth it. 

Kentin — No problem. It’s like a training. He will be so pleased to help people, and even if it is to work with them, he will not even think to complain. However, living conditions are his limit. Dangerous animals who come into the house how they want ? Too many risks to have some diseases ? Thanks, but no. 

Nathaniel — He loves that kind of travel. It’s so instructive. But not for all his holidays. He needs to spend a few days in hotels, to relax, to enjoy some peaceful moments. He is more the “I-take-a-local-guide-and-I-visit-all-the-day-with-him” type. Okay for two or three days with local hosts, but no more. Especially if it’s in a remote place. 

Armin — He is not against adventures, really. It’s always funny, and he would be the first to try something incredible. But at the point to stay at local home all the time ? No, you just lost him. A minimum of comfort and privacy, please. Holidays are made for that after all. 

Castiel — Discover the local life ? Yes, okay… Should he care about it ? It’s not that he doesn’t have any interest in other cultures, it’s just that he doesn’t think to go on holidays for that. Better to visit by himself and being sure he can come back to the hotel for the night. And no, he is not afraid.

Who’s most likely to go to a summer music festival ? 

Castiel — Without any doubt. There is a lot of rock festivals, or at least alternative music, so he would be ready to stalk the internet page until he has his place. He will take the complete pass, camping there with beers and cigarettes, no shower for days. Yes, at a festival, Castiel is a total cliché, but at least, a happy one. 

Kentin — More like electro festivals, or commercial music. He really likes the ambiance and the possibility to make the moment a friendly one. He will certainly go with Alexy and Candy, maybe Iris and Kim too. He could go one or two days, camping doesn’t bother him. He would never go alone, he is too intimidate for that. 

Nathaniel — Since he lives alone, he wants to try new things, including festivals where he would never go before, even if he desired it. He will go by curiosity, will enjoy the moment and could plan to go back next year. He is more a one day guy. 

Lysander — Lysander is more the boy who would be pleased to go to a concert. But a festival ? Maybe for a specific artist, but no more. It’s not the music which bothers him, he would never judge other’s work. But the public… He can’t stay more than four hours there. 

Armin — It’s outside. For days. With the sun, people who are screaming. In other circumstances, he could appreciate it, but there are really too many negative points to seduce him. Propose him a concert for two hours, it would already be better. 

Who’s most likely to propose you to travel in the first(s) months/year of your couple ?

Nathaniel — It wouldn’t be a long holiday to begin, it is too soon for that. But a city trip, for a weekend ? He could totally think about it. After all, he really likes to travel, and if it’s your case too, it’s a great way to strenghten your couple. Be ready to walk everywhere and try new food. He is like a child in those moments.

Kentin — He really wants to share that kind of memories with you. He is a little insecure because of how recent your couple is, but once he took his courage and proposed you, he will be that electric battery who wants the perfection. He will go everywhere you want, he let you the choice for the first time. One week, a weekend, only one day ? He doesn’t care, all he wants is to be with you.

Lysander — He wouldn’t really think about the leght of your relation. If you both want to travel together, you will do it. It is as simple as that. As Nathaniel, he could prefer a city trip, maybe a little longer, to visit, but also to take the time to rest and enjoy the presence of the other one. He certainly would like to see museums or other cultural places. Be ready to get lost a lot, but at least, it will make great memories.

Castiel — A trip together ? If it’s only for one day, sure, why not. But no more. You barely met his parents, don’t ask too much. You have all the time, after all you are together for so many months now, you both know that your couple can work. If you are ready to wait a little more, the proposal will come. He is probably a “the-two-years-course-is-symbolic” boy.

Armin — Wow. Not at all. He is carefree, ready to do a lot of activities with you, but this step is so important, he is totally insecure about it. Plus, he is not the biggest fan of holidays at the beach, or everywhere else which means a lot of walks outside. He knows how he can be in those moments, and his bad temper could make you upset really quickly. He doesn’t want to screw up everything with you. He wants to chill, you could do it at home together, right ?

Global summary | Part 1 — MCL | Part 1 — Eldarya | Part 2 (summer edition) — MCL | Part 3 (summer edition) — MCL | Part 4 (Halloween edition) - MCL

[caemec]

The first “I love you” - their reaction

▶ C A S T I E L ◀

His reaction ? He takes back his smirk and will need a moment to realise what you just said. No joke, no “the little girl is getting bolder”, just him, his messy brain and you, probably embarrassed by the very long silence that follows your declaration. 

His confession ? Totally depending on the time you are together. If it’s been only a few months, don’t expect something similar from him. He could even freak out, not sure he is as far as you are, and that he could easily hurt you. Even if he’s sure about what he feels, he’s not the type to say it just like that. However, he’s more into demonstrating it with his eyes - it speaks for him, he maybe doesn’t know that. If you’re attentive, you already understood since a long time. 

Who says it first ? Probably you. He’s very shy about his feelings, and even if he loves to joke about you, he will be careful to not let it slip off his mouth.

▶ N A T H A N I E L ◀

His reaction ? Even after all this time passed together, he still sometimes can’t believe you’re a real couple. He feels so happy and lucky to go out with the person who fought for him, like no one ever did for him in his life. But he never really put the words on his feelings. That’s why he would be quite unsettled at first, taking conscience at the same time he feels it too.

His confession ? If you confess quickly in your relationship, he would also need some time to think about that. Nathaniel is not the one to let it slip easily, his “I love you” are gold and sincere. No routine with him. He is more into showing his affection for you with gestures or little actions. But be sure that when you tell him, he always drops what he does to gently kiss you or hug you.

Who says it first ? You. He could have tried to make you understand how he feels, but it would just stay stuck in his troat.

▶ K EN T I N ◀

His reaction ? You just made him the happiest man in the world. He can’t refrain his honest smile, nor the sparkles in his eyes. Since Kentin is all about doubting about himself, and by extension, about the place he has in others’ life, you just gave to your couple a new start, with solid roots. 

His confession ? He maybe regrets having let slip those words again and again when he was younger, because he’s afraid it lost its value to your eyes. That’s why he could organize a whole evening date, candles, flowers and chocolate everywhere to put you in a romantic state. He’s so stressed that you could even actually fear he will announce you a bad news. It will probably be a little messy and with a shaking voice, but to your eyes, that’s the cutest moment you ever shared.

Who says it first ? He already told it to you the day he apologizes for his behaviour, when Evan was in the town. You heard these words many times already, but if it scared you in the past, when he will declare his love for you, more serious than ever, you only can hear how deep and true are his feelings.

▶ L Y S A N D E R ◀

His reaction ? It has always been an evidence for Lysander. He wouldn’t have started a story with you if he wasn’t already aware he had a serious thing about you. That’s why he will simply smile with all his heart, showing you with his gestures and words you’re not the only one feeling that way in the room.

His confession ? If he didn’t initiated the sweet talk, he will more than probably tell you he loves you too right after you told him your feelings. It’s as simple, cliché and cute than that. But if you paid attention to his newest songs, you could already guess how much you already are in his heart.

Who says it first ? Probably him. As a great romantic, he couldn’t hide his feelings - and seeing how honest he is, he will simply let it escape, in a moment of joy or if you were by his side in a very difficult moment.

▶ A R M I N ◀

His reaction ? He wouldn’t make it a big deal, especially if you let it escape without anything romantic to make it special. That’s probably the scenario that makes him the most chill. He’s a simple guy, he will only address you that wink, before taking your hand to lead you to a more private place and showing you how effective your declaration was. 

His confession ?  He’s probably more into saying something like “Gosh, I adore you”, with his big smile, acting like if he just told you a great joke. You could doubt about the true meaning of it, thinking it is more a manner of speaking or a friendly confession, not a romantic one. That’s it, until the day he will start to understand what happens in your head, and will simply reassure you with a “no but seriously, I really do.”

Who says it first ? In the idea that he uses it quite regularly, even for kidding, he must be the first one to initiate it. He could even use it as a play, to see who will say it with the most impressive and dramatic tone. Actually, the first time he will confess totally seriously, it will be really emotional and surprisingly a little shy. He must be in a hard period or just after something memorable happened to your couple.