caffeinated-rants - Tumblr blog

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I am so sorry that you feel so alone...

I'm sorry that I've hurt you once again... you would think I'd have learned by now...

I just want the bat for you...

I won't bring this fandom up when speaking with you moving forward to avoid further pain...

I will keep my writings to myself as well so that you don't have to look at them again....

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How the fuck am I supposed to explain chronic fatigue to someone??? Like I need at least one nap a day to even kind of function in addition to going to sleep earlier than most people might. I am constantly exhausted, I wake up exhausted and I end the day absolutely drained and then I’m expected to do it all again the next day. How the fuck do I explain that sometimes even doing nothing is exhausting? How do I explain that I can’t do things sometimes because I’m so far past tired that I’m essentially not functioning? How do I explain to someone who says they get exhausted but can still function when they’re at that point that my exhausted is completely and utterly different?

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Maybe I should just stop trying.

Every time I attempt to take a more assertive role and be the mediator for my friends, it always backfires and fucks everything up instead.

It's hard to be a faux leader when that constantly happens. You want to step in and lessen everyone's burdens by taking some of it on your own shoulders, only for the entire thing to blow up.

Maybe I'm better off without friends...?

I try to be helpful and yet every time I try, it blows up in my face no matter how good the intentions are. I suck at comforting those who need me. I suck at being a stand-in leader. I suck in general.

Just, honestly, fuck my existence. I can't do anything right or without unintentionally pissing people off.

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sorry for being annoying i could kill myself right in front of you if you want

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Reminder

Your pain (physical/mental/emotional) is valid even if nobody can see it

Your pain is valid even if you have no physical symptoms

Your pain is valid even if there is no physical injury

Your pain is valid even if others tell you it's not

Your pain is valid even if you do not have a life threatening disease

Your pain is valid even if you don't have a diagnosis

Your pain is valid even if you do have a diagnosis

Your pain is still valid even if nobody believes you

Your pain is still valid even if you are too "young" for the problem/issue

Your pain is valid even if the health care advisor/anybody tells you that it's in your head

Your pain is valid no matter what the conditions are

Your pain is valid.

Pain does not discriminate between age, gender, race, nationality etc. Just because you can't see pain, doesn't mean it's not there.

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Gotta love the absolute audacity that people have these days. 😑

So my mom and I did some moving shopping. Stopped at Starbucks on th way home. There's a line for the drive thru when we pull in, which isn't a big deal.

Then this little bitch in her green Subaru pulls through TH EMPLOYEE PARKING in order to attempt at cutting the drive thru line.

Nobody would let her in, thankfully, but fuck she was unhinged at that point.

She almost hit th car in front of us multiple times and then threw her gas station soda at their car.

My mom and I pulled right up to their bumper cause we'd be stupid to let hr into the line, especially after that. She saw wr weren't going let her in an tantrums in her car so my mom flips her off. They go back and forth flipping each other off and this girl is screaming her had of in her car.

She hauls ass as she pulls it in reverse, proceeds to get out of her car, and hen pours the rest of her Bai tea on the sieo ou car and chuck the bottle at us before speeding off.

Really. How mature. Throin a tantrum because she didn't get her way. Guess we know who the entitled brat that never was told 'no' in their life is, huh?

[caffeinated-rants]

Gotta love the absolute audacity that people have these days. 😑

So my mom and I did some moving shopping. Stopped at Starbucks on th way home. There's a line for the drive thru when we pull in, which isn't a big deal.

Then this little bitch in her green Subaru pulls through TH EMPLOYEE PARKING in order to attempt at cutting the drive thru line.

Nobody would let her in, thankfully, but fuck she was unhinged at that point.

She almost hit th car in front of us multiple times and then threw her gas station soda at their car.

My mom and I pulled right up to their bumper cause we'd be stupid to let hr into the line, especially after that. She saw wr weren't going let her in an tantrums in her car so my mom flips her off. They go back and forth flipping each other off and this girl is screaming her had of in her car.

She hauls ass as she pulls it in reverse, proceeds to get out of her car, and hen pours the rest of her Bai tea on the sieo ou car and chuck the bottle at us before speeding off.

Really. How mature. Throin a tantrum because she didn't get her way. Guess we know who the entitled brat that never was told 'no' in their life is, huh?

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Pretty awesome to know that all of us 90s babies got second-han grooming due to he people working fo Nickelodeon while growing up. 🫠

Kinda makes sense why our generation struggles mentally. We had trauma from the things we loved and never even realized it until way after the fact. 🤕

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Well yes, but it also would mean no more need for birth control to manage horrid periods, which also would be getting taken away if this bill were passed it seems. Plus, if they plan to get rid of mot ways to be safe and prevent unwanted pregnancies, this serves as the biggest middle finger to those backing it.

There are plenty of kids in foster care and other systems that Ned better homes, so even if I changes my mind in he future and wanted kids, adoption is always a choice that can be made.

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Louise Glück, from "Persephone the Wanderer", Averno

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— Trista Mateer ,“I Still Forget We’re Not Even Friends”

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{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}