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yan culture is feeling like the love you hold inside of you is going to kill you one day

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Yan Culture is feeling like ure gnna vomit when ur darling takes too long to respond and then spiraling into watching their icon move for hours on end without being able to stop it or move.

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yan culture is having to find other ways to satisfy your intense cravings for love (reading, making gifts, writing, etc) because you're too afraid to ask for love or affection from anyone else

-💖

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MEGA POST OF ALL (active) ALTER/HEADMATE PACK ACCOUNTS! FREQUENTLY UPDATING THIS!

IMPORTANT: Some of these are radqueer, some are anti, all have varying boundaries. Please check boundaries and dni before requesting or following, I am not here to state my opinions on either again this is just a huge post of as many as I can find. If you want to be untagged lmk!

______

@alterdollartree

@altercreationism

@headmate-library

@build-a-headmate

@bah-kinito

@bah-baa

@bageleatingforestmonster

@all-for-the-transids

@altergambling

@alterfactory

@i-create-beings-for-you

@headmatehaven

@underwateralters

@vampire-hearts

@ampersand-hospital

@luminaryalters

@rottingalterss

@alter-soup

@headmate-ideas

@brainpal-gachapon

@alters-in-a-box

@headmatespawner

@govassignedbros

@headmate-packages

@bloodyfrills

@vampire-hearts

@a-swamp-monster

@luuv-zomby

@buildaheadmate

@altergambling

@fair-city-packs

@wispyfrills

@randomizedheadmates

@arcadepack

lmk if you want to be added 😁

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in case no one’s told you yet, you feel exhausted and hungover and sometimes even sick after panic attacks/meltdowns/flashbacks/dissociative episodes/etc. because of very real chemical processes that are involved in your nervous system activation and de-activation during those times. it’s chemical dump effects, and no, you SHOULDN’T be able to just brush it off and feel and act normal. you’ve got a bunch of physical things that got activated and that all has to wind down. It’s not in your head, it’s very physical, and you need to work WITH your body during the after-periods instead of trying to curb stomp it. be gentle to yourself, okay?

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I see a lot of people who tell young people–especially young people who are heading into college–that they should “do what they love.” And they’re right. You should do what you love.

But there’s a world of difference between doing what you love for you, and doing what you love for a paycheck. 

I went to undergrad for graphic design and 3-D design–art and more art, I usually say–and I loved it. You know what I didn’t love? Trying to collect my fees from clients. Trying to meet unrealistic, over-simplified or over-specific briefs from people who didn’t know what they were talking about. Coming home, having worked creatively all day, with no creative juice left for the things I wanted to do.

You know what I would tell you instead? Do something that you can be interested in, with people you like.

You don’t have to love it. Loving your work can be a lot, and it often means you have to live in your job 24/7. Some people can do that. Not everyone can, or should.  But if you can find work that’s interesting enough that it doesn’t feel tedious, and people you can enjoy spending your 9-5 with, and you can make money, that’s great! It means you can do the things you love for you.

I’m in law school now. It’s interesting work, and difficult, and I like doing it. I like how complicated it gets, and I like the stories it tells. But I don’t come home and read law journals for fun. I come home, and I sculpt, and I draw, and I paint, and I read. I do these things for me.

And I love it. 

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There's a lot of different ways to look at the editing process but this is personally what works for me:

Draft 1. Just get the story down. You can go back and look at things for consistency's sake but honestly don't worry about anything but getting your ideas down.

Draft 2. Make it make sense. This could be as simple as rewriting a line where you said a character is blond but is actually a brunette, or as complicated as completely deleting and/or rewriting a certain scene. Usually it's a combo of both.

Draft 3. All about character. Are your character's actions consistent? Would they really say that line? Are you sure?

Draft 4. All about style. Would that character really say that word? Does that paragraph have a good enough transition? ect.

Draft 5. Just another go around of the two above. Character consistency and style are very important, my friends, and you may need another Passover.

Draft 6. Spelling, flow, ect. You're reaching the end now. Polish it up.

Draft 7. Just reread It 3-5 times. Edit anything and everything you can.

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genuinely have to wonder what these people who are so staunchly anti non-offending paraphiles want to happen to said paraphiles. like... what, do you want them to be killed for their thoughts they cant control? you think they deserve to die because theyre mentally ill? do people with homocidal intrusive thoughts deserve to die too, for an act they have not and likely will never commit? i hate to break it to you, but paraphilias are way more common than you think, and the people who have them are humans just like you. some of them seemingly come from nowhere, but a lot of them stem from trauma, which yall dont like to think about because it reminds you that if things just went a little differently, you couldve ended up like the inhuman, irredeemable monsters you advocate for the murder of. either way, its literally not something that the paraphile can control. fundamentally its unlikely any of them will ever be able to shirk their attractions. they can, however, just like you, control their actions. they are people with mental illnesses so stigmatized that its socially acceptable to publicly call for their slaughter. if you fancy yourself someone who thinks that people can be reformed and rehabilitated, someone who identifies as a prison abolishionist or an anarchist, you cannot also advocate for the involuntary killing of people with mental disorders. and you cannot perpetuate this culture of shame and fear and hostility, because all it does is push paraphiles who desperately need help further into isolation, away from the help that they need, and closer to actually offending. if someone is outed as a paraphile, their entire life is ruined. all of their connections are severed. theyre met with constant active hostility for something they never asked for and something they cannot control. so why, then, would a paraphile ever feel comfortable asking for help? how could they ever feel like they can reach out to a professional or even just to their friends and family when the risk is so high? when theyre told that theyre going to hurt people no matter what anyway?

full disclosure, im a paraphile. i wont specify anything beyond that. but for the longest time i really did feel like an irredeemable monster who was doomed to hurt others, that it was only a matter of time. that mindset, unsurprisingly, is not very conducive to recovery. it was only when i found other paraphiles online, learned i wasnt alone, that i didnt have to feel like the only option was death, that i finally felt like i could take control of myself. the isolation was the biggest hindrance to that. feeling like i was entirely alone in the world aside from people who had committed heinous acts, because the paraphiles who havent obviously cant talk about it. except they do, in small corners of the internet, where they still face incredible harassment and shame. still, knowing i was in the company of good people and knowing that my attraction wasnt some conscious choice on my part that made me into an inherent monster helped majorly. i didnt choose to grow up in the environment that i did. i didnt choose what i was exposed to as a kid. i didnt choose how any of that would affect me. i didnt choose to be a paraphile. but i am choosing to be a good person despite it, and im choosing to let other paraphiles know that they can do the same. i know there are some reading this. youre not alone, you can get help, and you can choose to be a fantastic person. youre not doomed. you dont have to die to keep others safe.

to summarize: paraphiles are human beings with mental illnesses just like many of you. and just like you, they need help and support, but its incredibly difficult to get that when the public opinion on them is generally "you deserve to die no matter what." we are incredibly common. you probably know a paraphile. and if that deeply upsets you on a moral level, i hope you know thats the reason why paraphiles hide it and just get worse and worse.

paraphiles are always going to be here no matter how hard you wish they were all dead. thats just a fact. so you can keep making graphic threats against mentally ill people, literally only causing further harm to them and to others, or you can show compassion and a genuine desire to see things get better by at the very least not perpetuating obvious anti-recovery, pro capital punishment, pro thought crime propaganda.

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hey! i'm new to this community so im so sorry if this is rude. i just heard about otherkin and therians from sophieinwonderland? but she said things about how being attracted to otherkin and therian people is like zoophilia and stuff. i'm sure those posts are still up on her blog if you want to look. anyways, that made me feel weird? so that's why i'm asking you. you seem to know a lot of things? based on my vibe check. so i was just wondering what your thoughts on this are.

I've had sophieinwonderland blocked for a really long time now, so I had to take a quick jaunt through her blog to check this-- I'm guessing you're referring to this post from 2022, where she says "Zoophilia means an attraction to animals. [...] I think we can all agree that biological nonhuman animals cannot consent and that bestiality is wrong. But what actually constitutes zoophilia is so much murkier. [...] if attraction to animals is zoophilia, is attraction to animal-identifying biological humans?" (It's important to note that Sophie states elsewhere on her blog that the TL;DR of what she was trying to convey in this post and the related debacle surrounding it is that she doesn't believe in thoughtcrimes, doesn't want non-offending paraphiles harassed or attacked, and supports human-bodied animal-persons in relationship with other consenting human-bodied adults. These are all pretty reasonable stances to hold, all things considered, and we don't want to conflate her with actual Zetas and bestialists-- she just seems to accidentally be repeating some questionable rhetoric without realizing it, because she isn't familiar with the therian community and its unique missing stairs in this regard. Source)

So from an outsider perspective, regarding folks who aren't particularly familiar with the otherkin and therian communities and who don't know better, this can seem like a genuine point or a fair question to bring up. What people don't actually often realize is that not only is this not true, but this sort of rhetoric is actually most often used as a bestialist dogwhistle. Let me explain.

So first off: no, having a partner who is an otherkin, a therian, a non-human fictionkin, or who otherwise is a human that identifies as an nonhuman animal does not make someone a zoophile nor a bestialist. Having sex with your human-bodied consenting adult partner is not bestiality. Loving them for who they are is not zoophilia. Zoophilia is, first and foremost in this context, an attraction to real-life actual animals. Things like thinking Mufasa LionKing is hot, or being a murrsuiter, or following a therian on OnlyFans, doesn't count.

(For those interested, there actually is a specific orientation term for people who are strictly alterhuman4alterhuman-- the term is "Medusan," it was coined in 2018, and it's actually more popular than you think.)

Now, here's where the unique problems of specifically the therian community comes into play, and why what sophieinwonderland is implying here is teetering close to an unintentional dogwhistle on her part, something she wouldn't have known because she's not a member of our communities. If you're not interested in the history aspect of this and why referring to therianthropy or otherkinship as potentially or inherently zoophilic is a dogwhistle, you can jump-ship here and I won't blame you-- I'm putting it below the cut for brevity's sake.

The therian community, if you're not aware, has had an issue in the past where several long-term, respectable members were revealed to be bestialists, either they themselves participating in bestiality or being knowingly supportive of those who do. These individuals were (and still are) also, unfortunately, in charge of or otherwise held leadership positions in some of the biggest and oldest therian and otherkin forums-- namely Therian Guide, OtherkinPhenomena (who shared a majority of its staff with Therian Guide), and the Werelist (who also shared staff with Therian Guide). You can check out my Therian Guide Beware for details and citations, because that's where most of this initial explosion of "WTAF" stemmed from.

When this all came out in roughly 2017-2019, it created complete community chaos. People felt betrayed, and rightly so. There were a lot of divisions in the community about where to draw the line, when, and how. And the bestialists intentionally made everything as messy as possible during the course of it all.

The bestialists largely justified their abuse through their own therianthropy and connection to animality, and when that didn't work, they pivoted to trying to include as much of the therian community under the "zoophilia" umbrella as possible in order to argue that it was natural or normal for therians to sexually abuse animals-- you can see an example of them doing that here, in Therian Guide owner DustWolf's baseless Twitter assertion that "60% of all therians are zoo[phile]s." (mirror).

For the record, no, 60% of therians are not zoophiles, and no current statistics from the community supports this. I wrote a Twitter thread in 2022 debunking this claim. But this also ties into the next point-- DustWolf isn't just referring to people who are attracted to real life animals. DustWolf is also referring to bestialists in this statistic, even if it's not immediately apparent.

The bestialists tried to paint this picture of all therians being pro-bestiality by trying to expand the definition of the term "zoophile" in public discourse and muddle its meaning as much as possible, to mean everything from "person who commits bestiality" to "person who had a crush on Nick Wilde as a teenager" to "person who experiences a sex drive and who also identifies as a nonhuman animal." They also used anti-bestiality backlash to try and lay claim on anyone who got caught in the cross-fire, playing the sympathetic shoulder to people who weren't bestialists or even zoophiles to get them to join up in their communities, and they coined terms like "zootherian" to try and reinforce a nonexistent connection between bestiality and therianthropy. It was, to summarize it succinctly, a complete clusterfuck. Nowadays, bestialists have also picked up queer social justice rhetoric and language to try and argue for the legalization of bestiality, though this wasn't as prevalent 2 years ago, which is its own issue.

Because of all this, assertions and implications that therians and otherkin are by default zoophiles, or that a majority of therians or otherkin are zoophiles, or that therianthropy and otherkinship can be intrinsically tied to zoophilia, or that zoophilia is queer and alterhuman, or even publicly identifying as a zoophile, is considered a major dogwhistle in the community. Historically when people who aren't just outright anti-kin have said these types of things to our communities, it's been to cover the asses of people who want to normalize and legitimize bestiality, or because the person in question is freely involved with communities and groups who have welcomed pro-bestiality attitudes. Saying that shit is a quick way to get blocked by a ton of alterhumans on most platforms. Sophie made a distinct division between "bestiality" and "zoophilia" in her commentary so it's obvious she didn't intend it that way, but it's still really not a great thing to say or imply because of the history behind it and the ways it's been used before.

So, to reiterate: no, people who date therians and otherkin aren't zoophiles, and people who say such are implying a lot more than they actively realize.

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The radqueer community is going to shit, and I’m saying this as a radqueer (thinking of leaving).

I’m seeing more and more people join the community, as LSDqueers, which is basically a way to say they’re okay with abuse. What is happening? This community used to be focused on support of atypical dysphoria and paraphiles. Now there’s people who outright say they support abuse and other harmful things.

Or the amount of people who say they’re “transbigoted” or “transharmful.” Discrimination shouldn’t be apart of someone’s identity. I can’t believe this is a hot take to the community.

The only thing keeping me from leaving is, I don’t think I’d be supported anywhere else. I have atypical dysphoria regarding several aspects of my identity. I have several paraphiles. I think some transIDs are harmless and still wanna identify with them.

I wish there was a community that was radically acceptive of paraphiles and transIDs not related to harming others. A community where LSDqueers are seen as what they are, the scum of the earth. Not everything or everyone has to be accepted. Not every identity is valid. Yet somehow I’m being exclusive by not wanting to share a community with abusers?

I’m not okay with bigotry or abuse in any shape or form. Putting “trans” in front of it doesn’t make it less harmful and dangerous. And.. I’m the problem to the radqueer community. There used to be a time where other radqueers agreed with me, now this community is full of abuse apologists or abusers themselves.

It’s starting to make me think everyone in this community is secretly a LSDqueer or something similar. How else would they be comfortable sharing a community with bigots and abusers? I genuinely don’t understand how anyone could be okay with that, unless they themselves are the same.

I’m starting to see how much this community follows the BITE model. Because if you don’t agree with one thing, you’re outcast. It’s very extreme. I just don’t know how to get out, because idk where else I’d be accepted

If you want to leave the radqueer community, leave

you don't have to stand around and watch abusers and abuser supporters,

(i say this as someone who's never been a radqueer, so take with a pinch of salt) the easiest way to probably get out (if you don't want to be a anti) is to make a different blog and block all the radqueer tags, make a blog about your interests and what you like, just try to separate yourself from radqueerism(?),

(you can obviously still use transids, i know some anon antis have posted about how they secretly use transids, so transids don't equal radqueers)

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using public transport as an alterhuman:

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growing up my mom would tell me, “don’t play with the dogs, their gonna think that your a dog too and not listen or respect you like they do humans!”

and well- my dogs understand that im not a human. they understand that im one of them. we chase each other and cuddle in a dog pile. they understand, always have.

that’s why they don’t respect me like a human, they respect me like a dog.

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Date idea we hide in the woods and sing creepy songs to scare the shit out of passerbys and sing creepy prophesies at them then kiss when the run away screaming

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Dude, my childhood best friend would SO enjoy quadrobics and the magic that the non human community brings me. Maybe even agere.

but idk if she'd be, like, open to these ideas. We haven't talked in a while. And I know that for the average person, these things sound weird. They feel guilty bc they were taught these things were wrong.

I just think she misses being the weird kid. I think she needs that in her life again, and idk how to help her. She misses being free I think.

Any ideas?