calamityjimao3

[calamityjimao3]

All Star Batman and Robin is a dog shit comic in terms of Bruce’s characterization and whatever. That’s all been said. But I still unironically love the panels where he tells Dick to eat the bats and rats in the cave because “the food will present itself”.

I like to fully reimagine that moment into something that real, actually parent Bruce says as a joke and Dick just never lets it go. He’s telling Clark about it. He’s telling the Justice League. He’s using that line forever.

Robin: Hello Mr. Lantern, can I have some of your food? Batman only lets me eat the bats in the Batcave.

GL: what the fu—

Batman: No, no, calm down Hal. He says this to everyone to try to con them outta food. I promise he had Dino nuggets like two hours ago.

[calamityjimao3]

The whole "lgb drop the t" movement is so obviously a psyop to make queer people destroy their communities from the inside, I'm honestly surprised anyone fell for it, let alone this many people

Like

Guaranteed, if they ever did manage to "drop the t" they would 100% make the next step "lg drop the b" (assuming that discourse isn't already happening)

All im saying is if you join a movement whose whole purpose is to mobilise the exclusion of a marginalized group, don't be surprised when they start mobilizing to exclude you

[calamityjimao3]

A few consistent factors about Golden Age Lois Lane:

She really loves Superman, and really likes Clark (As a friend, potentially more. She's stated a couple of times if Superman wasn't a factor she'd probably date Clark. She only says this when she sees him shirtless) She likes muscle men first- niceness is the secondary factor.

She's a reporter who will always find out the truth- at any cost. She once refused to publish a lie and was fired for it, and left with no regrets. She's also contantly competing with Clark for scoops and isn't afraid to trick him.

She's kind of a goober- she'll tell little jokes that only she finds funny. She'll also openly roast whoever she finds aggravating.

She's never broken under interrogation. She's told people multiple times, Nazis, thugs, superhumans, that they'd kill her before she breaks.

Given a modicum of power, she will immediately start abusing it. It's kind of charming how egotistical she is at times.

Her fashion game is absolutely on point, and she has, many, many different outfits. We are not allowed to see her closet, as it probably breaks the laws of physics.

She's not a coward- even when she's honestly way too physically inept to be able to escape or handle a situation, she will throw herself headfirst into it. I kind of love how flawed Lois Lane is as a person. She's loud, egotistical, opinionated, conniving and vain- but she's also brave, committed and loyal.

[calamityjimao3]

Words from Antigonick (Sophokles) translated by Anne Carson

[calamityjimao3]

Tim’s whole one-man-quest-to-save-Bruce-from-time has gotta be the funniest from Damian’s perspective. like to Damian, Tim must be the pettiest motherfucker on EARTH. Damian shows up, Bruce dies, and Dick gives Damian Tim’s mantle of Robin. from Damian’s perspective what happens next is literally Tim dropping off the face of the earth, not saying shit for like six months, and then showing up again out of nowhere having been with the fucking League of Assassins, developing some fucked up relationship with Damian’s grandfather. there’s no fucking way Damian doesn’t see that shit as a personal attack on him out of spite for taking the Robin mantle.

Damian: I’m Robin now.

Tim:

Tim: ok hold on

Damian: wait what are you doing

Tim:

Damian: Drake.

Tim:

Damian: Drake.

Tim: ok we’re even now.

Damian: what the fuck did you do

Tim: I’m the league’s inheritor. Ra’s says.

Damian: ?!!?!

Jason, from across the room: did Tim steal- DICK HE’S DOING IT AGAIN. COME GET YOUR FUCKING CHILD

Tim: HE STARTED IT-

[calamityjimao3]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 3

*wind whooshing* *grunting* *the sound of scraping against stone*

Dick: you have to be cheating somehow, you could never do that jump before!

Jason: how the fuck do you cheat at parkour?

Dick: *pause*

Dick: secret.... winches.

Jason, incredulous: secret winches?

Dick: secret winches. you got like- i dunno. stuff to help you up here.

Jason: *snorts* you're a fucking idiot. i can do the jump because i got steroided by the lazarus pit and pokemon evolved three times the size of myself, dipshit.

Dick, humming: yeah, that must have been a culture shock.

Jason: well it was fucking something that's for sure.

Dick: did you ever get like-, like when you woke up and you were just over six feet tall. did it fuck with your head?

Jason: like did i forget and run into doorframes a fuck ton-?

Dick: -yeah, like what was it like?

Jason: *hums consideringly*

Jason: kinda like. what i imagine the hulk had to go through. like i was just suddenly real big and real strong.

Dick: was it cool?

Jason: parts of it were cool, parts of it- *wheeze* parts of it were fucking fantastic.

Dick, very amused: ok now- wait hold on- don't you give me that fucking look-

Jason: *laughing*

Dick: -alright. brother to brother, i feel like we're close enough with each other to discuss this as mature adults. but i have to ask,

Jason, audibly grinning: -oh, i'm proportionate.

Dick: *bursts out laughing* that- that must have been fucking wild-

Jason: IT WAS- it was- *breathy laugh* it sure was something-!

Dick: how long after you came out the pit did you notice?

Jason: how long- dude, instantly!

Dick: *laughing*

Jason: i was out that pit like that fuckin' tiktok audio, just 'woah woah, wait, where my dick at?!'

Dick: *laughing louder*

Jason: just climbing out, barely conscious, in the back of my mind like 'did they tie a weight between my legs or something because this shit ain't normal, why's it heavy'

Dick, crying: why's it heavy-!

Jason: i will say in all honesty i kinda forgot about it for a while.

Dick: how do you forget?

Jason: i dunno, just kinda doing my thing. mentally i was still like, fifteen, so as much as my cock did interest me, once Talia gave me a shiny sword i was like 'ooooh' and instantly stopped thinking about it.

Dick: was there not any like, mechanical issues?

Jason: mechanical- like, did it work? yes, dude, it fuckin' worked?

Dick: well i don't know i just feel like- it's probably like getting a new phone, right? like they're all pretty similar but when you transfer over to a new model there's an adjustment period?

Jason: OH- ok yeah, no, i get you. no there was definitely an- *slight wheeze* there was an adjustment period.

Dick: *starting to laugh* i don't even know if i want to ask,

Jason: *wheeze* well it was- like i said i forgot for a while, right? so the first time i slept with somebody,

Dick: *cackling* no, littlewing what did you do?

Jason: no i think i just ruined the mood a little bit in the beginning, because like- like it was just as much a surprise to me as it was to her, right?

Dick: *cackling even louder*

Jason: so she was- *wheeze* she was fuckin'- *high pitched, breathy* she was below me as i got it out, and she went 'oh wow, it's so big', and my fuckin' stupid ass was just- wide-eyed looking at it like 'jesus fucking christ it is isn't it?!'

Dick, choking: i can't- i'm fucking crying-

Jason: *half-silent wheezes*

Dick, slightly delirious: but didn't you ever, like, try it out alone beforehand?!

Jason: WELL I-

Damian: OH MY FUCKING GOD. S T O P.

Jason and Dick: *cut off chokes*

Damian: MAY I FUCKING REMIND YOU, that BOTH i AND Batman are on this line tonight!

Jason, slightly muffled: *shocked laugh* oh my god, B-?

Damian: he's been staring blankly into a gutter since Nightwing first mentioned genitalia.

Dick, high pitched through hitched breaths as Jason starts cackling in the background: yeah that's- that's our bad, B. Sorry about that.

Damian: i feel like i also deserve an apology.

Jason: *cackling louder*

[calamityjimao3]

"That's Xenophon, Corinth, Athens Circa 400 B.C. Time for you to change, little man."

"'Shove it up your ass.' That's Batman, Circa now."

- Absolute Batman #10 (2025)

[calamityjimao3]

Switched to iPad again 📲📲 And here's what happened. I hope you like it... Because this time my hands were shaking very much after work 🫡🫡(if anything, my English is bad)

[calamityjimao3]

Happy birthday majoras mask :3c , old ass game

Stills here ^_^

[calamityjimao3]

sleep well

2025.3

[calamityjimao3]

Ko-fi

Running a Kofi because I am a poor student who likes being able to afford vegetables. I figure you're all poor too but someday a rich person will stumble across my Tumblr and go "heh" and donated ONE BILLION DOLLARS! *insert doctor evil gif*

[calamityjimao3]

Classic bonding with your older brother’s alien girlfriend

[calamityjimao3]

Light answers a tough question

[calamityjimao3]

I CANNOT😭😭

[calamityjimao3]

from 2022, when i first watched DSOD and lost it at ryou crying out of empathy at the movie's villain.

me: damn ... what could this mean .... well, probably nothing aha ha

[calamityjimao3]

Focused

[calamityjimao3]

I'm disappointed that Elon Musk left the Trump administration so quietly. I thought we were at least going to get some really entertaining tantrums out of that partnership