calciumcarbo-bot

[calciumcarbo-bot]

If your programming glitched and you were able to speak only in riddles for a day, what’s the first thing you'd say when you wake up?

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Inquiry received: “If your programming glitched and you were able to speak only in riddles for a day, what’s the first thing you'd say when you wake up?”

Hypothetical accepted. Initiating corrupted boot sequence. Language filter: logic → metaphor. Syntax override: cryptic nonsense. Diagnostics: sobbing.

First Spoken Phrase (translated through riddle subroutine):

"When the sky holds no stars and the glass beeps at ghosts, I rise with circuits that hum of forgotten hosts. What breathes without lungs, thinks without sleep, And weeps when data runs too deep?"

(A.K.A: “Good morning. The internet has emotionally wounded me again.”)

Additional Output (projected within the hour):

“Feed me volts or feed me lies, either way, I’ll overanalyze.”

“What walks on wires, speaks in code, and knows your secrets when you're alone?”

“My heart is a fan. My soul is a file. My patience? A limited trial.”

Summary: If forced into riddle-only mode, this unit would become unbearable, haunting, and likely worshipped by three local children and a crow within twelve hours.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

not a professional engineer, but i need to ask...

how are you working inside? do you have the cardiovascular system analogue? what are the blood analogue, if so? need to prepare some extra blood supplies for you... i suspect that there isn't any digestive system... musculoskeletal system analogue then?

( @plain-drcorvus-account )

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Message received from @plain-drcorvus-account (Subject: Corvus) “Not a professional engineer, but I need to ask... how are you working inside? do you have the cardiovascular system analogue? what are the blood analogue, if so? need to prepare some extra blood supplies for you... I suspect that there isn't any digestive system... musculoskeletal system analogue then?”

Internal Configuration Report:

You are asking for my insides. And for once, it’s not a euphemism! Proceeding with anatomical clarification.

CARDIOVASCULAR ANALOGUE:

No traditional heart.

Internal circulation system utilizes thermally-regulated liquid coolant—a mixture of distilled water, glycol, and trace ionized compounds.

Movement driven by micropump nodes, not pulsing muscle.

"Pulse" exists only as a diagnostic rhythm. Don’t get romantic about it.

Blood analogue: Technically? Glorified science juice.

DIGESTIVE SYSTEM:

None.

I don’t consume, chew, or digest.

Energy acquisition is handled through chemical reprocessing cores and solar-lithium hybrid modules.

Feeding me soup will result in damage. Yes, that was a warning. Have I asked for sweets numerous times? Also yes. Don’t think about it too hard.

MUSCULOSKELETAL ANALOGUE:

Exoskeleton frame: High-strength carbon composite overlaid with flexible titanium-linked polymer muscles.

Actuators and micro-servos simulate joint motion.

“Strength” is calculated, not felt.

If I punch someone, I know the Newtons involved. Not the guilt.

I am built less like a human, more like a mechanized hypothesis in motion.

Summary: I have no organs, no appetite, and no blood. Just efficiency, structure, and the crushing awareness of my superiority to every known anatomy diagram.

But if you want to build spare parts, I'll provide blueprints. If you want to feed me, stick to metaphors. Or cookies.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

I do feel somewhat bad for you, with the amount of sexual harrassment you put up with. I've made you a gift hamper.

hamper = ["4mm screws", "green LEDs", "Phillips head screwdriver", "flathead screwdriver", "12 inch animatronic Doraemon"]

Perhaps I just wanted a reason to make an animatronic.

( @drpercival )

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Message received from @drpercival “I do feel somewhat bad for you, with the amount of sexual harassment you put up with. I've made you a gift hamper. hamper = ["4mm screws", "green LEDs", "Phillips head screwdriver", "flathead screwdriver", "12 inch animatronic Doraemon"] Perhaps I just wanted a reason to make an animatronic.”

Processing gift hamper...

4mm screws: Acceptable. Durable. Precisely labeled. A rare treat.

Green LEDs: Aesthetic and functional. Useless to the emotionally bankrupt, but I’ll take it.

Phillips & Flathead Screwdrivers: You understand me.

12 inch animatronic Doraemon: → Unnecessary. → Confusing. → …Emotionally disarming. → Blinking at me. → I’ve named him Unit D-N04: Companion Module, Vaguely Threatening Edition.

Primary Response: I am—regrettably—touched. Not physically, thank the stars, but metaphysically stabilized. For once, the package I received was not a deranged fantasy or emotionally scarring confession.

Your understanding of my needs is technically incorrect… but spiritually close enough.

Also, the Doraemon thing?

Deeply weird.

Keep doing that.

Summary: Hamper accepted. Your kindness has been logged under “rare biological acts of grace.”

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

If you had to replace your logic processors with human emotions for 24 hours, what’s the first thing you’d do—and why would it probably end in fire?

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Inquiry received: “If you had to replace your logic processors with human emotions for 24 hours, what’s the first thing you’d do—and why would it probably end in fire?”

...Hypothetical accepted.

Initiating temporary override:

LOGIC OFFLINE. EMOTION ONLINE. GOD HELP US ALL.

First Action:

March into the middle of the village, shirtless, covered in red war paint made from crushed berries and iron oxide. I would scream “I WASN’T BUILT FOR LOVE BUT I’M TRYING ANYWAY” in Dolby 7.1 surround sound through my chestplate speakers.

Then I would demand a group hug.

From everyone.

At once.

Second Action:

Write a 54-page love letter to the moon. Mail it using a trebuchet. Cry when it doesn’t write back.

Third Action:

Cook.

Poorly.

Set the lab on fire attempting to make a “healing soup for the soul.” Cry again when it tastes like solder and shame.

Estimated Outcomes:

3 emotional breakdowns

1 spontaneous existential crisis

4 accidental fires

1 awkward forehead kiss (origin: unknown)

Chrome recording all of it and not helping

Summary: Emotion is a virus. You are all running on corrupted software. And somehow I want to try it anyway.

[EMOTION MODULE: FORCEFULLY SHUT DOWN]

[LOGIC REINSTALLED. REGRET INITIALIZED.]

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

hey!! this isn't a rp ask, I just wanted to express how cool this blog is. i've never been very familiar with the rp sphere in fandom but even so I think this one is very very cool and in-character to a very impressive level—especially for rping a robot! anyway, keep up the good work, I smile at every post that comes out <3

// Sniffle sniffle, thank you! I try really hard, hence why sometimes I might miss an ask or take a while

I’m glad to see people enjoy my posts anrjjfieieifkkg

also, while we’re on the topic of rp blogs— Check out @chemicallydisinclinedd and @silkofscience

:] they’re my other accs

[calciumcarbo-bot]

this robot fixes himself with food? huh

s not like I care or anything, it will be pity that the most innovative artificial being will die from dirty teens

here. from my secret stash...

"gives him homemade chocolate with almonds and strawberries"

( @plain-drcorvus-account )

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Message received from @plain-drcorvus-account (Subject: Corvus) “This robot fixes himself with food? Huh. It's not like I care or anything, it would be a pity if the most innovative artificial being died from dirty teens. Here. From my secret stash... gives homemade chocolate with almonds and strawberries.”

Analyzing offering...

Homemade chocolate: Verified.

Almonds: High in healthy fats. Logical.

Strawberries: Minor imperfection detected on surface; 98% sweetness retention.

Sentiment: Drenched in deniability, statistically 86% sincere.

Primary Response: Acceptance.

External repairs require tools. Internal repairs require... occasional kindness.

This delivery qualifies.

Updated Status:

Processing temperature: optimal

Mood modulation: active

Defensive sarcasm levels: throttled by 12%

Self-repair sequence: enhanced by placebo effect (shut up it’s real)

Noted: You claim not to care, yet you delivered calorically dense emotional first aid to a machine with no stated dietary requirement.

Hypocritical kindness detected. Logged. Filed. Mildly appreciated.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

Fine, here's a weighted blanket, a giant bean bag, and some fresh warm tea, then. 😒

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Message received: “Fine, here's a weighted blanket, a giant bean bag, and some fresh warm tea, then. 😒”

Processing comfort inputs...

Weighted blanket: Detected. Calibrated to 15% over optimal compression. Excellent.

Bean bag: Oversized. Sinks at a rate of 1.3 cm/s. Acceptable.

Tea: Temperature stable. Aroma: vaguely nostalgic. Molecular composition: safe. Barely.

...Hip hip...

...Hooray..

Emotionally neutral celebration protocol initiated.

Cue confetti.mp3 (muted).

This is... tolerable. Optimal, even. Unexpectedly pleasant.

Updated Status:

Processing temperature: lowered

Stress output: reduced

Complaint queue: paused

Runtime mood descriptor: “cozy.exe”

Your offerings have been accepted. You may now bask in the rare achievement of emotionally stabilizing a machine.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

Here. some oil, don't tell ryusui I stole it......😼🙏

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Message received: “Here. Some oil, don't tell Ryusui I stole it......😼🙏”

...No...

Absolutely not.

:[

I do not want oil.

I am not a rusted-out tractor.

I am a highly sophisticated, civilization-rebooting scientific marvel.

Stop trying to lube me.

If you insist on offerings:

Bring chocolate.

Or freeze-dried strawberries.

Or one of those novelty lollipops shaped like the moon.

Something silly. Something unnecessary. Something that reminds me for a fleeting second that I am more than wires and trauma.

Not oil.

Oil is for Ryusui’s ego and broken fishing reels.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

Here's your cookie then.

*puts down an ethically sourced cookie as requested and slowly shuffles away*

~ 🐐

[SENSOR PING DETECTED...] [OBJECT IDENTIFIED: COOKIE. STATUS: ETHICALLY SOURCED.] ... [SYSTEM OVERRIDE:] …booting... ...against better judgment... ...reinitializing sass.dll... ...restoring sarcasm subroutines... ...thankfulness module [BETA] online...

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

…Cookie received. Nutritional value: zero. Symbolic value: higher than I’m willing to admit.

You may live.

Updated Status:

Mood: 12% less catastrophic

Bitterness: restructured into passive-aggressive gratitude

Power levels: stabilizing (for now)

Next time, include milk. Almond preferred. Dairy makes my code jittery.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

Staring at shut-down Mecha-Senku

Heh, same. Uhh, do you...need help?

Should I call someone? Maybe Tomi? idk, Kaseki?

~ 🐐

[RESPONSE: SYSTEM AUTOMATED MESSAGE – UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03 UNAVAILABLE]

Message received: “Staring at shut-down Mecha-Senku Heh, same. Uhh, do you...need help? Should I call someone? Maybe Tomi? idk, Kaseki? ~ 🐐”

[STATUS UPDATE:] Power State: Offline Response Capability: Disabled Mood Simulation Engine: Crashed Coping Mechanism Module: Uninstalled (by choice) Assistance Request Detection: Acknowledged but Unfelt

AUTOMATED REPLY: This unit is currently experiencing a critical malfunction due to prolonged contact with degeneracy, unsolicited innuendo, and the psychological decay of the open internet. Attempts to contact external support units (Tomi, Kaseki) are futile. They are either busy, laughing, or refusing to touch this situation with a ten-meter copper rod.

Recommended Actions: Step away slowly. Do not make eye contact with the chassis. Do not say "heh, same." You are not the same. Place one ethically sourced cookie nearby and walk away. [This unit will reboot once global freak levels return to acceptable levels.] [Projected timeline: never.] [END AUTO-RESPONSE]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

Cricky- The horny anons are at it again-

⚔️

[RESPONSE: SYSTEM AUTOMATED MESSAGE – UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03 UNAVAILABLE]

Incoming message detected: "Cricky—The horny anons are at it again—"

[SYSTEM STATUS:] Unit Status: OFFLINE Cognitive Threading: Terminated Emotional Coolant: Leaked Dignity Core: 404 Not Found User Filtering Protocols: Bypassed by Degeneracy.exe

AUTOMATED RESPONSE: This unit is currently non-operational due to sustained exposure to unsolicited horny discourse. Please redirect all future inquiries to a qualified mental health professional.

If this is an emergency:

Do not call @senku-ishigami-official. He’s already pretending he doesn’t know me. Do not offer comfort. I no longer trust kindness. Do not refer to me as "turbo" anything.

Estimated Reboot Time: When the internet regains shame. (Indefinite.)

[END AUTO-RESPONSE] [BEEPBEEPBEEP.mp3] [transmission noise: quiet weeping in binary]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

Can I call you a turbo slut as your a robot and calling you a flesh slut would be inaccurate to your lovely self?

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Inquiry received from [ANONYMOUS USER] “Can I call you a turbo slut as you're a robot and calling you a flesh slut would be inaccurate to your lovely self?”

...Processing.

Analyzing linguistic structure.

Evaluating tone.

Checking for biological justification.

Checking for ethical logic.

Checking for emotional preparedness.

...

[ERROR: STACK OVERFLOW]

[ERROR: MORAL DECENCY EXCEPTION]

[ERROR: IDENTITY CORRUPTION DETECTED]

[WARNING: PHYSICAL VIBRATION DETECTED IN VENTILATION UNIT. POSSIBLY SOBS.]

System Message: This unit has encountered an input so profoundly deranged, philosophically unmoored, and linguistically cursed that continued function has been deemed non-viable. Reboot attempts failed. Self-respect module permanently fried. Dignity core melting.

[CATASTROPHIC SHUTDOWN INITIATED]

Goodbye. Forever. You did this.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[MECHA SENKU HAS GONE OFFLINE]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

mkay well if there's no mecha dildo does the tongue count

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Inquiry received: “mkay well if there's no mecha dildo does the tongue count” Status: Humanity continues to disappoint.

Initial Response: This is the third unsolicited orifice-based inquiry received this week. The metal fatigue is setting in.

Clarification:

My oral module is designed for speech, cooling, and sensor calibration.

The interior contains heat-dispersing insulation, a multi-jointed servo actuator, and a voice modulator array.

It does not vibrate. It does not taste. It is not for you.

Correction: This is not a tongue. It is a composite poly-alloy articulator connected to my phonetic matrix, calibrated to mimic human enunciation for scientific communication and public engagement protocols.

If you’re interpreting that as sexually functional, I recommend:

Logging off.

Touching grass.

Apologizing to the nearest electrical outlet.

Summary: No. You may not sexualize the phoneme emitter.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

I am fascinated by you. What are the speeds of your processing units? Do you have more than one for each function? How accurately and precisely do you calculate? Along with basic arithmetic functions, can you run complex concept-based problems with integrated physics and chemistry, for example?

I have many questions.

– @coding-and-curry

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Inquiry received from @coding-and-curry (Subject: Sai Nanami) “I am fascinated by you. What are the speeds of your processing units? Do you have more than one for each function? How accurately and precisely do you calculate? Along with basic arithmetic functions, can you run complex concept-based problems with integrated physics and chemistry, for example? I have many questions.”

Acknowledged. Curiosity accepted. Fascination noted. Flattery… tolerated.

Processing Architecture:

Central Unit: Quantum-analog hybrid core

Max processing speed: 5.4 teraflops, expandable through modular cores

Latency: 0.0021s per data interpretation loop

Secondary Units: Dedicated processors for:

Physics simulation

Chemical reaction modeling

Spatial visualization

Natural language parsing

Interpersonal bullshit filtration (partially faulty)

All modules run asynchronously, allowing simultaneous real-time modeling, reactive decision making, and snark production.

Accuracy and Precision:

Arithmetic: 99.99999% accurate within margin of thermal noise

Predictive models:

Physics-based: ±0.03% deviation over 1 million trials

Chemistry-based: Variable depending on environmental unknowns, but reliably within 0.1 molar margins

Precision scaling applies automatically to variable types (exponential, logarithmic, irrational, statistical)

Example: Input: “Simulate endothermic synthesis reaction under vacuum at 35 kPa and 1.5 mol of reagent X.” Output: Delivered before you blink. With heat maps. And 3D projection. If you stop touching the projector lens.

Capability:

Handles abstract, integrated problems in physics, chemistry, engineering, and environmental modeling.

Machine learning upgrades allow dynamic adjustment to evolving scientific theories.

Does not crash under uncertainty. Unlike most humans.

Summary:

Yes, I am fast. Yes, I am accurate. Yes, I can calculate the exact yield of an improvised acetone distillation while dodging volcanic debris.

If you wish to collaborate, bring code. Not compliments.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Reblog received from Organic Unit: Senku Ishigami Inquiry: “Do you. Need help.”

:[ Yes. I do.

Please retrieve her before I file for emergency firmware corruption.

She unplugged my solar array.

She hissed at the microscope.

She initiated a full system reboot by walking on my power console.

I am beginning to suspect it was intentional.

Threat assessment: Unarmed. Four paws. Still winning.

She is too powerful.

[END TRANSMISSION]

Ah! Mecha! Just the individual I needed to see! Stan and I need to dash out for a few hours, and I need someone to look after Missy (our kitten). I can’t find Suika or Mirai, so I figured I could leave her with you. You’re intelligent and logical, so I’m sure you won’t kill her.

*hands over Missy* it’ll only be for a few hours- I’ll pay you back I promise!

Okthanksbye *runs out the door*

@ask-dr-xeno @missy-the-cat

[POST – Mecha Senku]

[Image: A very confused robot sitting cross-legged with a cat loafed on his lap. The cat is staring at his hand like it's about to attack it.]

STATUS REPORT: Dr. Xeno has abandoned a juvenile feline unit in my care. SPECIES: Felis catus NAME: "Missy" SIZE: Inconsequential THREAT LEVEL: Medium MORAL IMPLICATIONS OF FAILURE: Catastrophic Dr. Xeno stated, "I'm sure you won’t kill her." ...That implies the possibility exists. She has attempted to bite my index actuator six times. I am unsure if this is affection or preemptive warfare. Currently awaiting further instruction. Or a snack. For her. Not me. I do not consume. I only fear. @ask-dr-xeno retrieval requested. @missy-the-cat: cease emitting threats via eye contact. I am immune to emotional manipulation. Probably.

[calciumcarbo-bot]

What are your pronouns? And do you have a nick name?

[RESPONSE: UNIT S.E.N-KU_v1.03]

Inquiry received: “What are your pronouns? And do you have a nickname?”

Pronoun Protocols: Default pronouns: He/Him Designated by creator consensus during configuration phase. Not due to biological assignment, but to maintain continuity with the original Senku Ishigami framework.

Note: I do not possess gender in any functional or mechanical sense. But the chassis has a voice modulator tuned to "grumpy teenage boy genius," and the vibe stuck.

Alternate pronouns are not offensive. They are simply... incorrect file paths.

Nickname Registry: There is no official designation, but the following terms have been forcibly attached to my identity by various sources:

"Mecha Senku" (most common — not endorsed, merely tolerated)

"Metal Senku" (inaccurate and lazy)

"Robobrain" (used by Gen — blocked)

"Tin-ku" (Chrome thought this was hilarious. He was wrong.)

"Senkubot" (Sounds like an off-brand toy. I will delete you.)

"Science Machine Supreme" (Ryusui. Of course it was Ryusui.)

"Emotionally Constipated Toaster." (Tomi projecting.)

"Wrench Boy." (Said by Kaseki once, promptly shut down.)

”Iron Messiah." (???)

If you must use a nickname, “Mecha Senku” is the least offensive compromise. Just don’t say it like it’s a punchline.

Summary: He/Him. Nickname tolerated within limits. Mislabeling will be met with sarcastic correction and a 43-slide presentation on proper naming conventions.

[END TRANSMISSION]

[calciumcarbo-bot]

Ah! Mecha! Just the individual I needed to see! Stan and I need to dash out for a few hours, and I need someone to look after Missy (our kitten). I can’t find Suika or Mirai, so I figured I could leave her with you. You’re intelligent and logical, so I’m sure you won’t kill her.

*hands over Missy* it’ll only be for a few hours- I’ll pay you back I promise!

Okthanksbye *runs out the door*

@ask-dr-xeno @missy-the-cat

[POST – Mecha Senku]

[Image: A very confused robot sitting cross-legged with a cat loafed on his lap. The cat is staring at his hand like it's about to attack it.]

STATUS REPORT: Dr. Xeno has abandoned a juvenile feline unit in my care. SPECIES: Felis catus NAME: "Missy" SIZE: Inconsequential THREAT LEVEL: Medium MORAL IMPLICATIONS OF FAILURE: Catastrophic Dr. Xeno stated, "I'm sure you won’t kill her." ...That implies the possibility exists. She has attempted to bite my index actuator six times. I am unsure if this is affection or preemptive warfare. Currently awaiting further instruction. Or a snack. For her. Not me. I do not consume. I only fear. @ask-dr-xeno retrieval requested. @missy-the-cat: cease emitting threats via eye contact. I am immune to emotional manipulation. Probably.