calico-kiwi

[calico-kiwi]

[calico-kiwi]

(voice of a girl who's already weird about it) can i be weird about this

[calico-kiwi]

Cardinal singing outside my window just fucked up his call and had to start over. Lmao

[calico-kiwi]

“op is a morally corrupt pervert” ok 💖 yay +follow

[calico-kiwi]

hitler committed suicide exactly 70 years ago

and to all neo-nazis alive today, 

[calico-kiwi]

i think it should be illegal to not have paper menus. and it should be illegal to only accept digital payments and not accept cash

generally making anything accessible only with a phone sould be illegal. like genuinely regulated by the govt and forbidden. IMO

[calico-kiwi]

[calico-kiwi]

Idea for a historical dark comedy, that would work just as well in so many different eras and places that I couldn't pick one:

A royal court where everyone is trying to murder the current ruler, but everyone's schemes just keep cancelling each other out. Everyone on the outside thinks that this period of rule is remarkably and unusually peaceful, but what are you going to do when someone's trying to kill the king with poison A, at the same time when someone else doused his drink with poison B, which are paradoxally antidotes for each other, and the third poison, extracted from a piece of supposedly cursed mouldy bread, is just antibiotic enough to treat the syphilis the king got from the courtesan who was sent to seduce him.

[calico-kiwi]

It doesn’t know

[calico-kiwi]

doyou think you could rob an empath by holding yourself at gunpoint.

woah

[calico-kiwi]

curled up with mama.... protected by mama.... let's be warm with mama...

[calico-kiwi]

Being in a group chat with a bunch of mentally ill girls who suck at taking care of ourselves is really funny. We’ll constantly be giving each other advice like “hey you should probably eat something” “have you taken your meds today?” “if you’re not feeling well maybe you should get some sleep” and stuff like that and then none of us have the self awareness and self respect to take the advice we give each other until we we hear it from someone else

[calico-kiwi]

actual tears running down my face

[calico-kiwi]

[calico-kiwi]

Text: Sometimes in the dead of night on the way to the kitchen for a glass of water, I see an extra door in the hallway, black and imposing. 

[calico-kiwi]

zendaya is meechee

[calico-kiwi]

Made the worst brownies ever created just now